Jed scowled. He could not dispute her words, but neither would he let himself accept them.
She took a step closer to him, her face soft with compassion. “What is it, Jedidiah? Why do you hate us so? And do not tell me it is Nina, for I think it goes beyond that, to something deeper and more painful.”
Jed shook his head, calling on all his will to reject the sensitivity in her eyes. He was not going to let Victoria Thorn get inside him.
Something told him that if he did, he would never get her out again. And that was something that could not be allowed. They came from different worlds, and that was the way it would stay. Because there was no other choice.
Was there?
He looked down into her eyes, so dark in the shimmering light of the moon, so deep and fathomless. What did she want from him?
“Tell me, Jedidiah,” she whispered. “I want to understand.”
For a moment, he felt something rise up inside him, a long-buried sense of hope, the hope that anything was possible. That it didn’t matter who you were or where you came from. As soon as the feelings rose, he felt the hard lessons of truth rise up to shout them down.
Victoria was wrong. He had not chosen his system of beliefs. It had been drummed into him by experience.
With a groan of frustration, Jed swung around and headed back toward the house, the lights, the distant strangers. He had to get away from Victoria and the false promise of hope she raised inside him.
Chapter Nine
Victoria tried her very best to concentrate on what Mr. Fuller was saying to her. He had come up from the country to bring some paperwork that would not wait for her return.
Unfortunately, her efforts to focus her attention were meeting with little success. As had become her habit, she was thinking of Jedidiah. She knew he was not happy about the things she had said to him the night of the ball. In the past two days he had, if it was possible, become even more remote than before. There was very little conversation between them, and he was rarely in her company.
She knew she had gone too far in confronting him so directly. His view of the world was not her affair.
But even when she was angry with him and frustrated at his lack of understanding, she was still attracted to him. His strength and sense of personal honor drew her as the sun drew the roses from their buds.
If only, she told herself, things could be different.
Unconsciously she sighed.
Mr. Fuller coughed, drawing her attention. “Forgive me, Lady Victoria, I have kept you too long.”
She looked to him in surprise, and some embarrassment. “No, forgive me. I became distracted for a moment. You came all this way, and we must finish.”
He stood, gathering his papers together. “With all due respect, my lady, I find I, too, am tired. Might we please finish in the morning, before I return to Briarwood?”
Knowing the man’s sudden exhaustion stemmed from a concern for her, Victoria nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Fuller.”
He bowed, and she rose to see him to the door. As they left the library, she said, “Mrs. Dunn has prepared a room for you. I hope you will be comfortable.”
“I’m sure I will, my lady,” he replied, seeming pleased at her solicitude.
Just as they moved out into the hallway, a sheet of paper fell from the stack in the estate manager’s hands. He bent to retrieve it. As he did so, he paused, looking at it with a frown. He then turned to Victoria, indicating the sheet. “If you don’t mind, my lady, there is one thing that I have kept neglecting to mention to you.”
She nodded. “Of course. What is it?”
“It’s the boilers, madam, the ones that were meant for shipment to Germany. With the advent of the Crimean War last year, they were not sent. There are still a number of them in your warehouse. Surely we should find another buyer?”
A male voice spoke from behind them. “Boilers?”
Victoria turned to see Jedidiah McBride standing behind them. It was apparent from his attire that he had been out riding. He was taking off a pair of kidskin gloves even as he spoke. “Did I hear this man say you have some boilers for sale?”
She answered as evenly as possible, for he was so very handsome with his dark blond hair tousled by the wind and the quickening scent of spring all around him. “Yes, he did say that.”
He barely looked at her as he turned to the other man. “If they are in good working order I would be very interested in buying them. I have been looking for a return cargo for my ship, and this one seems perfect. My partner and I have recently gotten into the business of steamship building.”
Mr. Fuller assured him quickly. “They are in perfect working order, sir.”
Only then did Jedidiah look to Victoria, his tone as impersonal as if he had been addressing a stranger. “Do you have any objection to my purchasing these boilers?”
Victoria felt her heart ache at the way he was treating her. Only with the help of her pride was she able to rally herself quickly. “Of course I have no objection. Why don’t I leave you two to discuss the details?” Without waiting for a reply, she turned and made her way toward the stairs without a backward glance.
Later that evening, Victoria looked up from her seat in front of the Louis XIV dressing table as the door opened behind her. It was Betty, and she carried the gown of ivory silk Victoria would wear to tonight’s ball.
As the maid moved to lay the elegant confection across the bottom of the bed, which was draped in pale blue and white brocade, Victoria lowered her gaze to her hands. In a deliberately casual tone, she asked, “Has my cousin returned?” She looked up to study Betty’s reflection in the mirror. Jedidiah had gone out for another ride before the evening meal, and she had not seen him since.
The maid’s eyes took on a dreamy expression. “Oh, yes, Mr. McBride returned from his ride some time ago. I believe he is even now bathing.” The girl’s blue gaze took on a yearning expression that told “Victoria quite clearly that she would not be averse to seeing such a sight.
Unable to stop the wash of memory that filled her own mind of a vivid view of Jedidiah’s appealing form, Victoria stood abruptly. No matter how she told herself to put such thoughts behind her forever, they continued to surface when she least expected them. The most disturbing times being when the man in question was present.
Going to where her hoops and petticoat awaited donning, the lady turned to her maid. “I am ready to dress now.”
Betty gazed at her with a puzzled frown. “Don’t you want me to finish your hair first?”
With an embarrassed start, Victoria laughed, trying to appear unconcerned. “Oh, of course.”
She went back to the dressing table and sat quietly while the emerald-tipped pins that were to be her only adornment were placed in her hair. Though she did not meet the maid’s eyes, Victoria could feel her speculative gaze upon her. It was not the first time since Jedidiah McBride came into her life that she had behaved in an unusual fashion.
Heaven only knew that it was not likely to be the last.
It was some time later that Victoria arrived in the hallway downstairs. She needn’t have worried that Jedidiah’s late-afternoon ride would delay him. He was waiting there for her, chafing to be off, as always.
She tried not to notice how very handsome he looked in a tight-fitting black jacket, cut away to show a paisley vest, and buff-colored pants. In spite of that air of impatience, which in truth was one of the things she found intriguing about him, he looked elegant and at ease in evening dress.
Did any man have a right to be so handsome and so very self-assured at the same time? For he was self-assured, completely so. It was obvious in the proud angle of his head, the restless stance and squared shoulders.
When he glanced up and saw her approach, he stilled for one long moment, and Victoria felt her heart throb in answer to the naked appreciation in his eyes. But in the time it took to take a breath the expression was gone, and Victoria thought she must surely have imagined it. Not
since the day he kissed her in the ruins of the old castle at Briarwood had Jedidiah so much as hinted that he might be attracted to her. Though it was no more than a week ago, it might have been years, for it seemed that any inclination toward her had been completely wiped from him.
Victoria knew she should be grateful for this, for anything that occurred between them could only be a mistake. Yet telling herself this and feeling it were not one and the same.
His days were spent in riding, and who knew what else. All she had been able to glean from his stilted conversation at meals was that he was making further inquiries about Nina Fairfield. In their public appearances, he had been politely attentive. She knew that this was only out of necessity, in fulfilling the terms of their bargain.
She turned her gaze to the marble floor, not looking at the man as he wrapped her green satin evening cloak around her shoulders. Moments later they were in the carriage and headed through the warm spring night. Jedidiah seemed no more eager to make conversation than she, and they rode in heavy silence. The coach lantern had not been lit, and she was grateful for the darkness, which hid the sadness she could not have explained even to herself.
The mansion was brightly lit, and the conversation was cheery as they entered the foyer and were greeted by their hostess, Lady Bainbridge. Victoria moved stiffly through the receiving line, ahead of her escort. She barely noted what was said to her, as she was paying close attention to the way young Miss Bainbridge, who was in her second season, giggled and fawned over the innocuous remarks Jedidiah made to her. She held on to his hand for such an extended period that her mama, who was next in line, gave a nervous titter and told her that the line was becoming quite long.
What a silly goose Susanna Bainbridge was, Victoria thought as she heard the girl openly invite Jedidiah to ask her to dance. Then she found herself smiling unexpectedly as he extricated himself from having to do so with smooth charm. He told the girl that he would not dream of taking unfair advantage of the other young men who would be eager to enter their names on her card. Susanna was so gratified that she actually flushed with pleasure.
As ever, Victoria was amazed at the way Jedidiah, who professed such disdain for society, managed to move through every situation as if born to this life. He had bested Susanna at her own flirtatious game, and made her feel flattered while doing so.
Victoria couldn’t help glancing back with raised brows. As she did so, her gaze met Jedidiah’s, and a strange current of amused understanding passed between them.
Victoria had to look away to hide the rush of happiness that sharing such a moment, however insignificant, brought. Whatever was wrong with her, she thought, that everything occurring between herself and this man seemed so much more interesting and exciting than anything else in her life?
With these thoughts riding hard on her mind, Victoria hurried through the rest of the receiving line. She then made her own way to the ballroom.
Victoria was immediately approached by none other than Lord Ian Sinclair. He had been in attendance at nearly every function she attended thus far, and seemed always to seek her company. She knew that despite his reputation, Ian was much sought-after as an eligible bachelor. His interest should flatter her, but though she had grown to like the attractive man, she really felt nothing beyond that.
Unaware of her thoughts, the seductive heir to an earldom smiled with obvious appreciation as he bowed before her. “May I have the honor?”
As Victoria accepted the proffered arm, she wondered why it could not be this man who drew her. It was not as if he were unattractive—quite the opposite—but there was none of that breathless internal commotion she felt when Jedidiah looked at her.
“It is good to see you again, Lady Victoria,” Sinclair told her, his eyes holding hers.
Victoria looked up at him from beneath her lashes, wishing again that she could feel something for him. He made no effort to hide his interest in her.
His hand tightened on hers. “It really is so very good to see you again. I find that you are the one bright spot in these dull affairs.”
Perhaps, she told herself with determination, she should try to think of him in that vein. There was no denying that she was here in London looking for a suitable husband, in spite of the fact that she had so little enthusiasm for doing it.
So thinking, she smiled with forced brightness as he swept her out onto the floor so capably. “How very kind of you, Lord Sinclair. And perhaps I am just a little bit pleased to see you, as well.” To her amazement, she gave a flirtatious laugh.
He laughed in return, a sensuous, husky sound that unfortunately did nothing to her whatsoever. No breathlessness, no thrill of awareness. Drat. Jedidiah’s merest glance could bring more of a reaction.
At that moment, Victoria felt a tingling along her spine and glanced over across the floor. Jedidiah McBride was standing in the archway that led to the ballroom, his attentive gaze turned upon them, a scowl marring his brow. For one brief second, their eyes clashed, and she felt that very same sensation that was missing when she was in the arms of Ian Sinclair. Her heart pulsed and her chest tightened.
Then she was swept around by the steps of the dance and his face was no longer within her sight. The devil take him, she thought with irritation.
Jed watched the dancing couple with ill-concealed disapproval. This was the man who had seemed so taken with Victoria the night they had encountered Reginald Cox. The events since had kept Jed from dwelling too much on the fellow’s behavior. He had managed to make himself available to Victoria at the other occasions since, but Jed had been determinedly occupied with making inquiries about Nina. He had felt ashamed on realizing that he had completely forgotten to do so on the first night they went out into society. It was, after all, the reason he was in London.
Even after Jed began to pursue his objective, he’d had no luck at all in discovering anything over the course of the past few days. The one family he had found by the name of Fairfield had turned out to be an innkeeper and his wife. When he questioned the wife while having a tankard of ale, she had clearly borne no knowledge of any well-placed family members.
Now, as he watched Victoria and the stranger begin their second dance, he knew a sense of misgiving he was not prepared to question. He told himself it was because of the unfavorable things Felicia Tidesdale had said about the man.
Also, “Victoria had not before now seemed overly interested in him or any of the other young men who claimed her for dance after dance. Tonight, there was a difference in the lady. She was smiling at the man—flirting.
His stomach twisted painfully. If any of what Felicia had said about the man was true, he was not a suitable companion for ‘Victoria. Jed thought it would be a good time to find out something more about the man.
He did not think there would be any questions about his wanting to know everything he could about the tooattentive, too-attractive fellow. He was, after all, posing as Victoria’s cousin, and could openly make inquiries about any man who might pursue her.
Purposefully he approached his hostess, who was standing with her daughter at the front of the sumptuous ballroom. Jed soon learned that young Miss Bainbridge did indeed still have this dance open and would be happy to attend him. Carefully hiding his true annoyance at the way she simpered up at him, Jed led her out onto the floor beneath the beaming gaze of Lady Bainbridge.
How differently, he thought once again, they would all behave if they knew who he truly was.
The young lady seemed willing to answer his questions about Victoria’s partner.
“Oh, that is Lord Ian Sinclair,” she replied eagerly to his inquiry. “Mama has forbidden me to dance with him, though he is quite handsome, and the son of an earl.” Her voice dropped for a moment as she whispered, “He has a dastardly reputation with the ladies. There was some rumor of a duel between him and the Honorable Norman Humphreys only a short while ago. It is also rumored that he is an incurable gambler, that being the way he is said to make hi
s living. He is called—” she paused dramatically “—Lord Sin. Mamma did worry about asking him tonight, but she could not quite cut him dead when he said he would like an invitation to the ball. You see, he is the earl’s heir, though some say he may not inherit for many years to come. His father, though an older man, is in excellent health. It is bandied about that the earl is quite tight with the purse strings, if you know what I mean.” She ended with big-eyed innuendo. “That is why he must gamble, you know.”
With every word spoken by the little featherbrain in his arms, Jed’s disapproval deepened. He looked over and saw Victoria throw her head back and laugh at something the bastard had said to her.
Lord Sin, indeed.
Trust Victoria to involve herself with a man like that. She was, after all, the same woman who had kept trying to convince him that Reginald Cox was harmless.
Miss Bainbridge leaned her head forward, as if she were about to share a secret, drawing his attention back to her. “Of course, Lady Victoria might do as she pleases, with little fear of damaging her reputation. She is, after all, the daughter of a duke, and well thought of among our set. Her father was a great philanthropist and spoke in the House of Commons about the conditions of the poor. You know the sort of thing I mean.” She prattled on. “He had a great concern for those living in the poorhouses and the children working in the mines. Lady Victoria has continued to support such causes, though as a woman she cannot do so as publicly.” She paused, fluttering her long lashes at Jed. “That is all well and good, and she is much to be admired. But I believe a man wants a woman who will look after her husband and children. Do you not agree, Mr. McBride?”
Jed could only stare at her for a brief moment. Did she really expect him to make some reply to this ridiculous statement? What man would choose such vapid silliness over kindness and intelligence? Especially when it came in a package as delectably lovely as ‘Victoria Thorn.
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