It was then that she was fully struck by what was happening. This might be what he had been searching for. This child might very well be Jedidiah’s son. If she hadn’t been kneeling, Victoria would have had to sit down to keep from falling.
Squire Fairfield cried out, drawing her gaze back to him. “Son, speak to me, son!”
As if in answer to the pleading in the man’s voice, the boy’s lids fluttered and he opened his eyes. Eyes the color of a sunlit sea.
She had only ever known one other person with eyes that color. Her gaze flew to Jedidiah’s face, to see that he had blanched to the color of cream.
Victoria forced herself not to react, but to try to concentrate on the child’s condition. His expression was somewhat dazed as he said, “Father…”
Fairfield clutched the boy close for a moment, before holding him away to look into his eyes. “Are you all right? Do you know where you are?”.
The boy scowled, and Victoria was rocked by the familiarity of the expression, again glancing briefly at Jedidiah to see if he noticed. His reaction of shocked amazement had not changed. It was as if he could not accept what he was seeing.
She turned back to the young boy as he answered his father with an exasperated tone. “Of course I know where I am, Father.” Then his attitude altered, and she saw the real affection he felt for the man come through as he reached up to cover the hand that lay on his chest. “Don’t worry, Father. I am fine.” He looked around then. “But what about Shadow? Is he all right?”
Ian Sinclair spoke from behind them. “I take it this is Shadow.”
Having only now remembered the nobleman’s presence, Victoria turned to see him holding the young gelding by the reins. Obviously Ian had gone to fetch the animal. Judging by the look of him, the horse had suffered no ill effects.
“Thank goodness,” the boy chimed.
The squire interjected gruffly, “You will not be riding that animal again.”
The boy looked to him with pleading eyes. “Father, it was not his fault. A stray hound ran beneath his legs, barking. It frightened him.” He struggled to sit up, his face filled with stubborn mutiny.
Even in temperament he reminded her of the man she so loved.
The squire scowled, obviously not wanting to give in. But when he answered, his face softened. “I will not have him put down.” At the child’s happy grin, he held up a hand in warning. “But you shall not be riding that animal again unless the trainer deems him fit, after much more training.”
“Yes, Father.” The reply was subdued enough, but the gleam of happiness in the boy’s eyes did not abate.
Victoria looked to Jedidiah again. All this had taken only a few short minutes, and he had said nothing since hearing the squire’s name. He simply stared at the child and the man. It was clear to her that he was having some difficulty in holding back, but did not want to leap in before he was sure he had some right.
She wanted to offer some sign of comfort. She did not. Everything she knew of Jedidiah McBride told her he would not welcome any overt sign of sympathy. The sea captain was a proud man, and would be determined to travel this road alone. Still, she longed to help. “Cousin Jedidiah, perhaps there is something we can do to assist Squire Fairfield and his son?”
Jed swung around to face Victoria, her words penetrating some of the shock he was experiencing.
The squire spoke again, drawing his attention. “Andrew and I are quite grateful for what you have done already. The boy had ridden on ahead of me while I got down to tighten the girth.” He held out his hand to Jed. “I saw everything that happened, sir, and want to thank you for your quick thinking and bravery.”
Jed took the proffered hand, even as his mind reeled over this new piece of information. His name was Andrew, God help him. Andrew was his own second name, and Nina had known that. “I…” He shook his head. “I did nothing. I’m only glad the boy is all right.”
Squire Fairfield shook his own head. “That is not the way it appeared to me, sir. And my gratitude stands.” With that said, the portly man rose and reached down to help the boy to his feet. “Son, we must be getting you back, so I can have the doctor sent for.”
Jed stood with them, feeling Victoria do the same.
Andrew frowned. “Father, there is no need for the doctor.” But when he pulled away to try to stand on his own, he swayed slightly, reaching out to steady himself.
Without thinking, Jed reached toward him, then drew back when the boy leaned back against the arm Squire Fairfield put around his shoulders. A painful surge of disappointment rushed through Jed. His hands dropped to his sides. He had to remember to keep a tight rein on himself. Even if he did turn out to be Jed’s son, Andrew did not know him, would not welcome such attention from a stranger.
Even as he stood there thinking this, Squire Fairfield began to lead the boy toward his own horse, easing him carefully into the saddle. He then looked to where Sinclair still held the reins of the bay gelding. He shrugged helplessly. “Could I beg your further assistance? I do not want the boy to ride alone right now.”
Victoria moved to stand beside Jed. “Of course. We would be glad to help.” Her words were polite, but Jed saw the strain on her face.
If all this did turn out to be nothing more than a bizarre coincidence, the Fates had a very poor sense of humor indeed. In spite of his earlier elation, Jed knew that it could all be a coincidence. Life had taught him it could be incredibly cruel when you least expected it.
With gratitude apparent in his voice, the gray-haired man said. “I must add a word of thanks to you, dear lady. It is not every day that you meet three such kind Samaritans as yourselves.” He glanced around to the three of them with a smile of genuine appreciation.
Jed could not meet the kindly brown gaze. He had expected to fully dislike the man who had stolen his son, however unknowingly. He had thought he would be a haughty, bored aristocrat.
To discover that this man was anything but made him unexplainably uncomfortable. Jed pushed the feelings to the back of his mind as he mounted his stallion.
He and Victoria followed directly behind the squire, who was in a hurry to return to his home. Sinclair brought up the rear, still leading the gelding.
Jed looked back at the nobleman as he sat in heavy silence behind them, and realized Sinclair had something on his mind. His face was a mask of contemplation, and he was studying the unknowing Victoria with grave concentration. Only once did he glance Jed’s way. As their gazes collided, he raised his brows noncommittally, giving Jed little indication of his thoughts.
As they left the park and headed to a slightly less fashionable area of the city, Jed pushed Ian from his mind. There would be time enough to deal with that later. Right now, he knew, he must think about where he was going.
For the first time, he wondered if he was about to see Nina. She might very well be there to greet her husband and son. How he felt about seeing her again, he no longer knew. His gaze went to Victoria. The raging anger that he’d felt toward Nina, anger that had driven him so relentlessly, had been replaced by an emptiness that was devastating in its intensity.
He found himself looking at the squire and Andrew, the boy resting back against the man in complete trust, the man glancing down at him in obvious concern every time they experienced the slightest jolt.
Jed turned away. It was his right to have his own son with him. No one, no matter how personable, would keep him from what was his.
After a time, they arrived at a comfortable-looking three-story house. It was not a mansion such as Victoria or her circle lived in. But the neat white house, with its many windows and gables, exuded a welcoming warmth.
As soon as they halted in front of the house, a manservant opened the door and came out to greet them. Taking in the fact that the boy was mounted before Squire Fairfield with grave concern, he raced to the man’s side. “My lord, has something happened?” He looked to the other three, as if wondering who they could be.
“My son has taken a tumble from his horse,” Harry Fairfield informed him before he could go on. “Please go along and see that the doctor is sent for immediately.”
Jed watched as the man turned to hurry back into the house. He got off his own horse as the squire dismounted, then helped the boy down.
Before Jed could offer to do anything, a bevy of folk streamed through the front door, looking concerned and fearful. All of them, three men and two women, were talking at once. When they saw young Master Andrew leaning against his father, one of the women, a gently rounded matron of middle age in a mobcap, came forward to clutch the child to her.
The other younger woman and the three men began to question Squire Fairfield at once, none of them making the least amount of sense. He raised his hands in exasperation and affection. “Please, dear family and friends, let us go into the house. I have asked Farley to send for the doctor. But it is certainly only a precaution. Andrew has seemed to improve even as we were riding home.”
There was another flurry of speech, this time giving the general impression of relief. The matronly woman now kissed Andrew on his cheek.
For his part, Andrew seemed nothing so much as embarrassed by this attention. Jed could not help feeling sorry for him. A boy of his age would certainly not take such fussing with good grace were he upon death’s very door.
Squire Harry Fairfield turned to Jed then, his expression bright with sincerely felt emotion, also taking in the still-mounted Victoria and Ian. “My friends—and I do count you that now—I can only tell you once again how grateful I am that you came to our aid this afternoon. I owe you more than I can ever repay.”
Jed could only bow. “You are very welcome, sir. We were happy to be of assistance.” He looked to the other two, and watched them nod in agreement. Nina was not among the group who stood looking at them from the front steps, but Jed found he did not have the heart to pry any more into the squire’s life just now. The man had had a terrible shock today. He did not need Jed to tell him that the child he believed was his might not be.
Jed spoke quietly. “I think we will leave you now, so that you can get things under control here. I hope you will not mind if I call back to see how the boy is doing.”
“Of course not.” Squire Fairfield surprised him by giving him a friendly pat on the back. “Any time.” He paused then and smiled at the woman who was still hugging Andrew too tightly. “Or better yet—my sister is giving a party this evening, and I am sure she would be utterly delighted if you would consent to attend.”
The lady nodded enthusiastically. “Anyone who has been a friend to my brother is a friend to me.”
As she spoke, a servant came forward and took the horse from Ian Sinclair, who was shaking his head in regret. “I must beg your pardon here, Squire Fairfield. I have a previous engagement that I cannot break.” He glanced toward Jed meaningfully. “Though if Mr. McBride and Lady Victoria are able to attend, I would be most grateful to hear news of how young Andrew is faring.”
The squire expectantly looked to Jed, who replied, “I would be very happy to accept your invitation if Lady Victoria is able to do so.” He knew a sense of relief. He had been given a further opportunity to find out if this might indeed be his child without having to completely disrupt their lives.
Victoria nodded her agreement. “We would be most pleased to attend.”
The squire smiled cheerily. “I’m sure the doctor will have come and gone by then. And with a clean bill of health for my boy.” His eyes grew misty for a moment, and Jed felt an unexpected tugging at his heart. He pushed the feeling away. He owed this man nothing.
Harry Fairfield continued, oblivious of the other man’s thoughts. “He’s my heart, that boy. Nothing can happen to him. It’s just a tumble he’s had, and nothing more. Never should have agreed to let him have that horse, but it’s so hard to deny him, his mother being ill and all.”
Jed’s stomach somersaulted. In her letter, Nina had said she was ill. But he controlled himself, holding in his suspicions, determined not to act without proof.
Jed made a hasty goodbye and mounted his horse. Victoria and Sinclair followed him as he rode from the house. Squire Harry, having no idea of the possible repercussions of this day, waved them away with a smile.
Victoria could not help being aware of the way Ian Sinclair was watching her. But right now she could hardly bring herself to worry about that.
All she could think about was that she and Jedidiah would be returning to that house this very evening. They would likely learn whether or not the boy Andrew was actually Jedidiah’s son.
They would also meet Nina. Victoria glanced over at Jedidiah, who rode a few feet to her left. He was lost in thought. Was he, she wondered, thinking about the same thing she was? Was he wondering what his reactions to seeing the woman would be?
What disturbed her was Jedidiah’s anger toward Nina. Could such resentment exist where there were not strong feelings? And when he saw her again, would he realize those feelings were not hatred, but something else? Could he still love this woman? Would he ask her to go to America with him?
The pain of acknowledging the question was horrific. Even as she felt this, Victoria understood that it was none of her concern. Jedidiah would love where he saw fit. He had his own life to live, as she had known from the very beginning. He had never pretended otherwise.
She looked over at the man who was so in her thoughts. With the strain of the past hour on his face, he was even more attractive to her. His expression was marked by determination, and a hopeful vulnerability heretofore unknown in this proud, strong, resourceful man. She was even more drawn to him because of it.
Frustration made her prod her horse to a faster pace. Damn him!
When they reached her home, Victoria replied with the barest of civility as Ian Sinclair’made his excuses and left them at the door. She wanted nothing so much as to find out what Jedidiah McBride was thinking. What his plans might be.
He seemed almost startled when she asked him to come into the library with her the moment they entered the house. He made no comment, simply looking at her as if suddenly remembering her existence.
This only served to make Victoria more disheartened. Already he was forgetting her.
Calling on all her inner strength, she squared her shoulders, holding her head high. Then, immediately, before she could lose her courage, she said, “You do think that Andrew might be your son.”
Jedidiah looked down at her, his expression remote, his eyes unreadable. “Yes, I do.”
“What will you do?” She could not bring herself to mention Nina.
He frowned at her, as if surprised by the question. “If he is my son, I will confront his mother and tell her I mean to take him to America with me.”
Even though she’d known this, the words sliced through her like a freshly sharpened blade. She forced herself to go on, to learn the rest, the worst. “Do you mean to do that this very night?”
He looked away, his eyes focusing on the evergreen tree outside the window. “I don’t know. I had not allowed myself to think that far into the future.” He turned to her then, his expression searching. “Why do you ask?”
She met his look evenly, though it cost her dearly. “I need to know what you will do. I am not yet married, or even certain of my choice.”
His face hardened, and he swung around so that she could only see his profile. “I see. Well, you have no need to worry about that. I will stay until you marry Sinclair.” He glanced at her briefly, and for a moment she thought she saw sadness in his gaze, but it was gone before she could be sure. “That is what you mean to do, isn’t it—marry Sinclair?”
She raised her chin, staring at the gold trim on the drapery without really seeing it. “Yes…that is…I believe so.” She took a deep breath before going on. “I am not quite certain, but it seems very likely. He’s a decent sort of man.”
“Well,” Jedidiah answered with a shrug, “that settles it, then. We’ve ea
ch made our plans.”
“Yes,” she replied, “we have.” She turned to go to the door. “Well, it is good that it’s all been settled. “I think I’ll go up now and have a rest before getting ready for the party.”
She would not let him see how much she was hurting. How she knew she would continue to hurt, long after she was nothing but a faint memory in his mind.
Chapter Fourteen
Victoria was ready long before the time to depart for the party had arrived. However, she needed time to put aside her own feelings for Jedidiah McBride. She had in fact, by the time she met him in the foyer, managed to convince herself that she could do so. Her equanimity was destroyed when Jedidiah brushed her bare arm as he lifted her light evening cloak to drape it around her shoulders.
Victoria felt the current of physical sensation that raced between them, and caught her breath at its intensity. All her efforts to convince herself she could live without him went flying by the wayside.
Jedidiah’s reaction to the contact was instantaneous. He jumped back as if stung. What made her heart sink was the look of resentment in his green eyes. He attempted to hide it by turning away from her and moving quickly toward the door, but it was too late.
She felt the hurt of his disapproval sink into her soul. Yet somehow, through the fog of her pain, she knew she did not want him to see how devastated she was.
Why, Victoria wondered, would he feel so resentful toward her? Was he disturbed by his reactions to her because of their very inconvenience to him? Now that the end of his quest appeared to be in sight, he would want to put any attraction to her aside. He would soon find another woman to warm his bed, for that was all she had been.
Calling on the strength and pride of the many generations of Thorns who had faced adversity with courage, Victoria raised her head high. She must, for the sake of her name, at least, salvage some modicum of self-respect in this.
It was only with an expression of assumed hauteur that she was able to endure sitting across from Jedidiah on the drive. He seemed too lost in his own thoughts to even notice, but Victoria did not let down her guard.
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