“Well, just saying, either way, I could’ve done without the palmetto bugs.” She laughed. “I can’t wait to see Axle!” Throwing open her door, she hopped down from the truck and opened the back door to get her other bag.
“I got it. Here.” Derek gave her the house keys. “Get inside and greet the big boy. I’ll get your bag.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
As Megan ran off into the house to greet Axle, Derek got the rest of her things and closed the truck up. The plan was to order a pizza, rent a movie from On Demand, and hang with his daughter.
He’d told Rayna he wasn’t going to be available tonight. She’d sounded a little disappointed but didn’t question why. Which was good, because Derek really didn’t want to have to make up some sort of lame excuse—aka a lie. Either way, he still felt like shit about it. No getting around that.
When Derek got into the house, he found Megan on her knees, with her arms around Axle’s neck and Axle panting, tongue hanging out, his jaw so wide he almost looked like he was smiling.
“Yes, I missed you, big boy! So much!” Axle rolled over, and Megan went with him. The two of them damn near cuddling on the ground. “You missed me, too, huh?” Axle licked her ear then her cheek. Megan giggled and stroked his head.
Derek chuckled and stepped over both of them and moved down the hall to Megan’s bedroom. After depositing her things just inside the door, he came back out and went into the kitchen.
Megan came running in with Axle on her heels. “You want some ice, good boy?”
Axle gave a half snort, half whine and went right to the rug in front of the sink. Derek chuckled. The animal was so different with Megan than he was with Derek. When Derek gave Axle ice, or offered, Axle waited until Derek gave him the command to take it from the small rug.
With Megan, he was just a plain, everyday pet. He went to that rug and sat at attention, waiting patiently for his person to bring him his treat. Either action meant he’d been trained well, but the latter behavior was more in line with everyday dogs.
Rayna would say that it was a good thing. Derek would agree. The other K9 officers at the department would definitely agree, too.
He blew out a hard breath, and his stomach felt hollow. Damn, he missed Rayna already. More so, he missed that she wasn’t there with him and Megan right now. He grabbed his cell, thinking he should text her—
“Are you ordering the pizza? Can we get all cheese?”
Derek looked up. “Of course. Do you want breadsticks, too?”
“Definitely.” Megan came over and put her arms around his waist. “Missed you, Daddy.”
Derek wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Missed you, too, angel.”
Okay, so maybe tonight wouldn’t have been a good night for Rayna to meet his daughter. Tonight was just for him and Megan to spend time together and catch up. His daughter meeting his girlfriend could wait a few days.
Still, if he’d not chickened out last night, Rayna would know right now where he was, and why he wasn’t with her, and why that was important. Instead, she had no freaking clue, and that was because he was an asshole.
Megan tilted her head back to stare up at him. “I’m going to go grab the souvenirs I got for you.”
“You do that. I’ll order pizza.”
She nodded and ran off.
Letting out a sigh, he stared down at the phone and his last text messages with Rayna. “I love you, too. Call you later.”
“Harrrmmpph.” Axle pawed at Derek’s pant leg and then sneezed.
“Yeah, partner. I miss her, too. I know. I’m an asshole.”
Axle shook his head, his ears flopping with the motion, and then yawned, which was accompanied by a whine, before sitting on his haunches.
Letting out another sigh, he closed the messages window and ordered a pizza.
He’d text Rayna later, after Megan was asleep. Hopefully, Rayna would be asleep, too, and then he wouldn’t have to dig his grave deeper.
God knew, it was deep enough already.
* * * *
Rayna popped a frozen burrito into the microwave. Then she went to the fridge and pulled out something to drink and set a fork and knife on the table. The micro beeped, and she grabbed the no longer frozen and definitely oozing hot meal from inside and placed it on the table. “The official meal of the single woman.” She sighed. “Dinner is served.”
Well now, wasn’t this sad and depressing. Plus, she wasn’t technically single anymore. Worse, based on the ball of sullen feelings caught in Rayna’s chest, this specific meal reminded her of a life she thought was long gone.
It sure felt like it’d been at least a year since she’d spent a Saturday night alone, or was single, but that was nowhere near the truth. It’d really only been six weeks. Six weeks and she’d already gotten used to him, them...the time they spent together, and everything in between.
“This sucks.” Rayna cut into her burrito and took a bite. Derek was working, at least that’s what she figured he was doing. That’s what he was always doing whenever he wasn’t with her. He didn’t go out for “guys night” like other guys did. The man didn’t spend nights away from her just to “get some space.”
They were always together.
So, he had to be working, right? Though he hadn’t said, and she hadn’t asked. A sliver of fear pierced Rayna’s heart. What if he was with another wom—
“No. Nope. Do not go there, lady! Just don’t.” Rayna steeled her emotions and took another bite of her food. He’s working. No reason to get herself all in a lather for no reason.
Derek Hansen was in love with her. He’d told her, and he’d shown her. Countless times and in countless ways. He’d proven over the past six weeks that she was where he wanted to be. The only place he wanted to be.
Rayna swallowed and took a drink of her soda.
But what if?
Ugh...this was going to be a long night.
Chapter 22
Derek climbed into Rayna’s bed and curled up against her warm body. She was sound asleep, her breathing deep and even.
It was nearly one a.m. He’d gotten stuck late at work dealing with filing lengthy reports after the entertaining arrests made that night. One small traffic violation between two people turned into one drunk driver and the other, a dude with a shit-ton of methamphetamines in his possession, who decided to run. Morons—all innocent until proven guilty, of course.
Axle let out a groan as he settled on the dog bed at the side of Rayna’s bed. Derek lifted his head off the pillow to catch a glimpse of his partner and then lay back down. Since Derek stayed at her place more than they were at his, he’d started bringing Axle over here after work, probably about three weeks ago, because Rayna didn’t think it was fair to leave the animal at home alone.
She’d also bought Axle the pet bed. Plus dishes for food and water, and even toys. Yeah, the woman was a vet, but still. Derek pressed his nose into her hair and drew the scent of her into his lungs. The love and care she showed Axle always had Derek’s heart melting into a complete pile of goo.
He smoothed his hand down her arm, to her waist, then around to her stomach. Snugging her back closer to his front, he closed his eyes. She let out a little sigh and then a moan, but didn’t wake, only settled against him more.
Warm, soft and everything he ever wanted.
He should wake her up and tell her. Tell her about Megan. Tell her that he never meant to keep something so important from her, that he’d tried several times to find the right time, but it never seemed to come.
He needed to tell her that he didn’t want to lose her. That he never wanted to hurt her. That she and his daughter were the two most important women in his life. Derek wanted to tell her how she was the only woman he’d ever been in love with, and would ever be in love with.
He needed to tell Rayna that he was
sorry that he’d let her down, and that he’d never do it again.
With another moan, Rayna shifted and turned over to face him. Her small hand landed on his shoulder, then smoothed down to his chest, before reversing back up to his neck. He felt her lips graze his collarbone. “Mmm. Hi, sweetheart.”
Her words were a sleepy whisper spreading through him like a warm breeze. Derek pressed his hand to her lower back and held her closer. Keeping his voice low, he pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Hi.”
“You okay?” Her hand still cupping the side of his neck, she stroked his jawline with her thumb.
“Yeah, Doc. I’m good. Just ran late tonight.”
She nodded. “Mmkay. Missed you.” She pressed a warm kiss to his collarbone.
He cupped the back of her head. “Missed you, too, baby.”
“Is Axle here, too?”
“Yeah.” He stroked her hair. Now was his chance. He needed to take it. Tell her, you idiot! Just...say you have to talk. That it’s important. She deserves to know right now. “Go back to sleep, Doc. You have to be up in a few hours.”
She smoothed her hand from his neck, down his chest to his side. “Love you.”
Derek pressed his lips to the top of her head and let out another sigh. “I love you, too, Doc.”
Fuck, he was a coward.
Chapter 23
“You look awesome!” Stephanie held her arms wide for a hug.
“Thank you. So do you.” With a smile, Derek hugged his ex and then stepped back and motioned to the bench beside them. “Want to sit?”
“Sitting is good. You’d think I wouldn’t want to after being in an RV on my ass damn near all summer, but yeah, totally do.” She laughed and sat.
Derek did the same. “Well, I can’t say I’m any different. I’m in a patrol car all day, so you know I’m on my ass.”
“Yeah, but you’re way better at going to the gym than I am.” She brushed some lint off her pants.
“You’re chasing Hannah around. That should count, right?” He stared out at the empty playground in the center of the neighborhood where he and his ex both lived.
“This is true.” She laughed.
“They both get off on their first day okay? Thanks for the pic of Megan. She looked all sweet in her little skirt and T-shirt.”
“Well, you know she’s a fifth grader now. Top of the heap in grade school. The skirt was a must.”
He laughed. “Sorry I wasn’t there. We’re going to have a little diva next year.”
“Lordy, I hope not. But maybe.”
“Hannah started first grade, right?”
Stephanie blew out a breath. “Oh yeah, and of course I cried when she and Megan got on the school bus together.”
He gave her shoulder a nudge with his own. “Sap. But don’t worry. I won’t tell.”
“So kind of you.” She nudged back.
“Too many people.” He chuckled.
She laughed and slapped his arm. “Okay, so tell me how your summer went? Did you enjoy the time off?”
Derek looked back at the woman who was the mother of his child. His once college sweetheart, who he loved, still did love, but was never in love with. She was his best friend all four years. But they were never meant to be a couple. “I met someone.”
Stephanie’s eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth with both hands. After letting out a muffled squeal, she pulled her hands away and pulled him into another hug. “Oh my God, Derek! That’s awesome! That’s incredible!” Stephanie tipped her head back and gave him a chaste, but very enthusiastic, kiss on the corner of his mouth.
For certain, she’d meant for it to land on his cheek, but because Stephanie was so jazzed for him, she’d almost gotten his lips. Weird, but not a big deal.
“Ooh, shit!” Stephanie laughed. “Sorry. I got excited. And eww, that felt weird, huh?”
Derek laughed and patted her back. “I know. No biggie, Steph.”
With her arms still around his neck, her smile faded and her expression changed. “Wait...it’s serious with this woman, right?”
“Would I be telling you if it wasn’t?”
She blew out a breath, gave him another squeeze, then let him go. “Oh, thank God. Of course not. I just wanted to check, because I got so excited and I didn’t want to be all excited if she was just a fling. Not that there’s anything wrong with a fling.”
“It’s all good, Steph. I know it’s because you want me to be happy.”
“Well, I do! It’s been years for you, Derek. You deserve someone who loves you to the bottom of your soul. I found it. You should find it, too.”
“Love you, too, Steph.”
Her face softened. “This is why we make such good co-parents.”
“Best in the whole district, I’m guessing.”
“Hell, likely the whole state.” She giggled and grabbed his forearm. “Did you tell Meggie yet?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Figured I’d tell you first.”
“Derek Hansen, you are still one of the greatest men I know. And you know that list is short.” She smiled. “So, what’s she like? What’s her name?”
“Thanks. She’s...she’s everything, Steph. Her name is Rayna Michaels. She’s our age. Smart, funny, sweet. She can come off as conservative, but really it’s just that she’s...I don’t know, she’s just easygoing. Not a lot of fuss.”
Steph smiled, her eyes alight with happiness. “She sounds wonderful. What does she do?”
“She’s a veterinarian. Axle’s vet, actually.”
“Oh! I remember you talking about her. Good for you! How long has it been?”
“Pretty much the whole summer. About six weeks I guess.”
Stephanie patted his forearm. “Aw, I’m so happy for you, Derek. Is she excited to meet Megan?”
Derek cringed. “Well, that’s the thing. I haven’t told her about Megan yet.”
“What, why?” Stephanie frowned.
“It’s a long story. But, the short version is at first I wanted to be sure about her, you know?”
“Of course.”
He nodded. “Then, she had some issues about me being a cop, you know the rep some have. But then, it just...shit. It never seemed like the right time, and now it’s like I’m hiding something.”
“Well, you kind of are. A big something. When are you going to tell her?”
“Tonight. I’ll see her after my shift. But I’m scared shitless she’s going to be furious.”
Stephanie linked her hand with his. “It’s going to be okay. If she cares for you, she might be mad, but she’ll get over it.”
Grateful for her support, Derek squeezed his ex’s hand. “I hope so, Steph. I don’t want to lose her.”
“That’s crazy thinking. Don’t even let your head go there. Just tell her the truth. She’ll see it in your eyes.”
He nodded and stared back out at the park. “I hope you’re right.”
“I’m always right, Derek.” Stephanie grinned.
“Except when you’re wrong.” He laughed. “I’ll give you a call later and we can talk about schedules, cool?”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll be enjoying my day with no babies in the house. I think Steven is coming home for lunch.” She wagged her brows.
Derek got to his feet and held his hand out to her. Stephanie stood, and he gave her a hug. “Careful, too much afternoon delight and you’ll have another bun in that oven of yours.”
She slapped his arm again. “Bite your tongue!”
Derek laughed. “Yes, ma’am.”
Stephanie brushed her blond hair off her shoulders. “Talk to you later.”
“Definitely.” Derek smiled.
Stephanie stepped away and made her way to her car. He headed across the field. Since the park was right around the
corner from his home, he’d walked rather than driven. In a matter of minutes he was at his front door.
After a shower, he’d get ready for his shift and stop by the clinic to steal a kiss from Rayna before heading into work. It was almost ten in the morning already, and Rayna would be neck-deep in appointments, but he wanted to shoot her a quick text, letting her know she was on his mind.
Derek chuckled. Hell, when wasn’t she on his mind?
Making his way to his bedroom, he moved to his nightstand, where he’d left the phone to charge. Unlocking it, he saw a text notification from Rayna. Perfect.
He opened the message icon and froze.
Doc Rayna: This is over, I never ever want to hear from you again! I was a fool for believing anything you said to me, Derek Hansen, including that you loved me. You’re no different from my father, or any other cop who doesn’t know the meaning of the word faithful! Apparently, blondes are more your style. Have a good life with the blonde, whoever she might be.
What? What blonde? What the hell was Rayna talking about?
Unless... No. That wasn’t possible. Regardless, all the air left Derek’s lungs, and his knees gave out. As if the world went into slow motion, he slipped down, landing on his ass on his mattress. An ache began behind his eyes as Derek read the message again. Apparently, blondes are more your style.
Fuuuuuck!
* * * *
Rayna’s hands shook as if she had electricity running through them, and she could barely see the road, blinded by the endless tears flowing from her eyes as she drove to Tish’s house.
Her best friend was at work, but there was no way Rayna was going home. Not for several hours anyway.
Oh God, why?
Why had this happened?
How could she have been so stupid!
When Rayna pulled into Tish’s driveway, she left the engine running, grabbed Tish’s extra house key from her glove box, and let herself in the front door. Once inside, Rayna moved through the house to the laundry room, opened the garage door and then pulled her car in.
Gathering her things, she went back inside and dropped everything onto the counter in the kitchen. After pulling a tissue from the box, Rayna got herself under as much control as she could, then called the clinic and asked Billy to cancel the rest of her appointments for the day...telling him she’d come down with a sudden case of the stomach flu.
Avoiding the Badge Page 20
