“Next year, he’ll be the right age for kindergarten.”
Ellie nodded. Preschool had been an option this year, but despite her child’s energetic nature, she hadn’t been able to part with the boy just yet. She figured what was one year.
“Your point is?”
Her mother leveled a glare at her. “My point is the teachers won’t be able to handle him. The boy will be in trouble most of the time and that is an awful way to start his school career.”
“School isn’t a career,” Ellie said, reaching for her bowl once more. The egg whites had deflated some, meaning they weren’t quite stiff enough.
“It doesn’t matter what you call it. If Casper starts with a bad experience, each year it will get exponentially worse until he’s in juvenile detention.”
“That’s a bit of a stretch,” Ellie said even as her stomach turned with worry. Bile burned the back of her throat when she even thought about her child in that kind of trouble. She couldn’t imagine the sweet boy doing anything so awful. “Casper is a good boy. I just have to get him checked for ADHD or something.”
Putting her child on prescription pills was the last thing she wanted, but if she did identify the source of his energy, there might be coping mechanisms in place. Ones that worked better than her mother’s suggestion. If not, Ellie would just have to resort to building a jungle gym in her living room. Maybe that would keep Casper off her cupboards. One of these days, he would climb them and his growing weight would bring it all crashing to the floor.
Her mother opened her mouth to say something, but she was cut off by a knock on the front door. Both of their heads shot up.
“Were you expecting anyone?”
Ellie shook her head. “It might be another order of Christmas cookies. No one knows how to bake anything that doesn’t come out of a tub or a tube anymore.”
Ellie wiped her hands on a stray kitchen towel and smoothed her hair, trying to tame the frizzed braids before she opened the door. Her mother retreated into the living room just as something crashed to the floor and Ellie’s father let loose a hearty laugh. Ellie cringed, her hand reaching for the doorknob.
Her thoughts of whatever broke in the living room vanished when she laid eyes on the man on the other side of the door. He was clearly not there to order more cookies, she thought as her throat bobbed.
Nolan McCaffery was not what she wanted for Christmas.
***
Years ago, he’d passed through this very town. At first, it looked like just another small town, a place nestled in the Adirondack mountains of New York, shops catering to the tourists that came to see the small mountains. Yet, years ago, he’d experienced the night that had stayed with him no matter how far he strayed.
And he strayed as far and wide as possible. His path had led him from one coast to another, brought him to a plane that had taken him overseas and back. But, the entire time, the single night he’d spent in the small town had filled his dreams. He remembered the smooth curves and rich laughter of a woman he’d laid with. Every now and then, he could smell her scent in the air like the ghost of a memory.
She’d wafted honey and cinnamon, claiming she was a baker while downing shots of cinnamon whiskey and hard cider. To be honest, it was a miracle he remembered her at all. A part of him feared she wouldn’t remember him, especially as his feet led him up the steps to her front door.
It was new, not the little apartment above the laundromat that smelled of fabric softener all the time. The door before him wore a Christmas wreath made of multi-colored ornaments, wound with frilly ribbon that scratched his knuckles as he reached forward to knock.
“What do you think you’re doing here?” Ellie hissed, spinning to quietly shut the door behind her.
Seeing her again struck him, stealing his breath. Her hair was a crown of gold, wrapped in a number of braids. Her eyes glittered in the winter light. Their blue shadows reminded him of an ocean he might fall into. Her body had filled out since he’d last seen her, her curves now exaggerated and her breasts heavy enough to drag his gaze low. She was the moon to his night, once a crescent, now full and beautiful.
But, she didn’t seem happy to see him there and he couldn’t figure out why. When he’d last left her, they’d left on good terms. Or so he thought. He studied her face, her body, trying to read the language there to see what he’d done wrong. Still, he came up empty handed.
“I thought…”
“Well, you thought wrong,” she bit out. Her spine was straight, back against the door with one hand on the knob.
She was afraid someone inside would see him. Her grip on the door told him that was the last thing she wanted.
He sucked in a deep breath. Everything he’d thought had been wrong. This woman wasn’t the mate fate promised. There were no ties linking them together across the world. She’d only been a part of one good night in his life, a night that’d stuck with him.
He snuck one last glance at her as his body shifted away. The rise and fall of her breasts grabbed his attention, her breath coming too fast. His jaw tightened as a fierce protectiveness rose in him.
“Are you afraid of whoever is in there hurting you?” he growled. His body shifted toward her again and his eyes sought out the window, thinking the human woman was hiding him from a boyfriend, one that might not be very nice.
But, he hadn’t seen any bruises on her. And when she faced him, she did so standing tall. She wasn’t afraid of him. There was something else wrong. He just didn’t know how he would fix it. That was all he wanted to do while he was around her.
She opened her mouth, probably to tell him to leave, when a keening laughter rang out. The sound raced in their direction. Ellie launched away from the door and flew down the steps, toward the sound. His stomach churned, and his heart raced, but he couldn’t figure out why. Ellie’s plush body hid the source of the sound, confusing him.
The world seemed to slow when she turned around and he saw the face in her arms. The child clung to her, small hands fisted in her shirt and feet red and bare. There was a smile splitting his face in two, as if he didn’t mind the icy snow beneath them. If anything, it looked like the child loved the cold weather while his mother raced to climb the porch steps again.
At least, he assumed she was his mother.
“I… didn’t know,” He managed to mutter. He couldn’t take his eyes away from the child. Why had he thought she would still be single? He shook his head, damning himself for his wild ideas. They’d been selfish, he realized. There was no way he should have expected her life to remain frozen in the moment they’d shared. She most likely had a husband and child now.
That had to have been what she was trying to hide from him. He understood.
“Oh, hot damn.” A new voice whistled. It was an older woman, the tone of her voice making him turn back. The woman, Ellie’s mother if he had to guess, looked between him and the child in her daughter’s arms with wide eyes. Those eyes narrowed and descended on her daughter.
“Mother,” Ellie whispered. Ellie tried to turn back toward the door, to take her child back inside and away from the chill winter air, but the older woman grabbed her arm.
“Don’t you Mother me.” Her eyes flicked toward him again. “You can’t lie to me. Are you going to turn away the father of your child? Before Christmas?”
His heart shuddered to a sudden stop. The world tilted for a moment. There was no way. He hadn’t been around for years. The child couldn’t be his. But, his gaze focused on the pair of eyes peering over Ellie’s shoulder at him. No, he told himself.
The woman was wrong.
“I don’t have to answer to either of you,” Ellie snapped, jerking the door open and disappearing inside.
His heart jumpstarted, and his body lurched forward. “Wait a minute!”
This was why the voice had dragged him back to the mountains of New York. A gut instinct knew he’d left a child behind, a child who would need his guidance if he was going to grow up in
a human world.
His child.
No, it couldn’t be. The timing wasn’t right. There was no way he could have left a child behind and not known about it.
Right?
Then again, he had left in a hurry. Four years ago, he’d slipped from her bed and went on his way. That night had been nothing more than a notch in his bedpost, no matter how much she lingered in his mind since then. Besides, he was smart. Nolan couldn’t afford to pass on his genes unknowingly.
Yet, the connection was there, tugging him forward, up the steps. If this small child with dark hair and bright eyes was not his, then who did he belong to? Whose scent was it that filled the air with wilderness and freedom?
Ellie had no idea. Not once while they’d drunkenly fallen together that night had he brought up his status as a shifter. It wasn’t something she could contract from him, a gene he’d inherited from a family that didn’t care. This was a cruel twist of fate, the possibility of him conceiving a child. He didn’t know anything about being in a family.
But, that didn’t mean he didn’t want to try. If anything, a fist around his heart dragged him forward, up the steps and toward the woman and child. He wanted to do right by them, to care for them and provide. All he needed was for her to give him a chance.
It seemed, from the stone-cold expression on her face, that she was not ready to give him that opportunity. That was all right. He understood, partly. If he’d known about the child, he would have stayed. There was no telling her that now. He doubted she would listen.
Ellie jerked the door open and slammed it behind her, leaving him and her mother on the porch. Her mother eyed him, a long study that took him in from head to toe. Her gaze lacked the heat he’d felt from her daughter. Instead, this woman was gauging his ability to be what her family needed. Sure, he might be the boy’s father, but, in her opinion, that didn’t give him the right to barge in and assume the role.
He swallowed his growl. He couldn’t escape the smell of the wild, of cold snow and wet earth. It wasn’t coming from the landscape around him, not when asphalt and exhaust permeated nature, but from the doorway before him. There was no mistaking it; the child was a shifter. His child, the one Ellie had taken away from him. He had the right to meet the boy, at the very least. He let that territorial nature touch his eyes and the woman took half a step back before catching herself. She would not be intimidated, either.
Mothers. They were a ferocious breed, he thought.
“Come inside,” the woman said finally. “I’m Grace, Ellie’s mother if you haven’t already guessed. Charlie, her father, is inside.”
“I don’t think Ellie wants me here,” he replied. Not because he didn’t want to intrude, but he didn’t want the woman to try to throw him out in front of his son. The territory was rightfully hers, but he would not back down if she challenged him and his son didn’t need to see that.
“My daughter thinks she knows best, but I have a feeling this is personal. Her heartache doesn’t get to get in the way of you meeting Casper. The only thing that can get in the way of that is you. Do you understand me?”
Nolan took a step back and fought the urge to bear his teeth at the open threat. He would see his child. If he had to, he would find a place nearby; he would stay in the small town to watch his boy grow into a man. No one would stop him.
Grace didn’t see the tension in his forced smile, perhaps because she was too hopeful for the situation. Grace probably wanted to see her daughter settle down with the man who helped bring a child into the world with Ellie. It was an antiquated idea that he had no idea how to fulfill. It wasn’t like he had a great foundation to base his own relationships on.
His own parents had shoved him out into the world the moment he could survive the cold and went their separate ways. His eyes gravitated toward the festive wreath on the door once more. It was a nice house, well cared for and emanating the warmth of life. Casper, his son, already had more than he’d ever had.
Nolan followed Grace inside, wondering if this life would welcome him. Or, if he would have to live on the sidelines.
Chapter Two
When she got back into the kitchen, timers were buzzing, and the sound tightened the skin of her scalp. She frowned, reaching to slam her hand over the timer to silence the thing. The cakes had been in the oven for too long and were likely dry. Groaning, she snapped a potholder off the rack and jammed it over her hands.
Casper stood on the floor, a steps away as he watched his mother with wide eyes, those eyes every now and then darting toward the door she’d slammed.
“Mommy, who was the man?”
Ellie swallowed her sigh. Was it too much to ask that Casper had never seen Nolan? Was it too much to wish she could turn back time and ignore the knock on the door?
“He’s a man mommy met before you were born.” The truth was the easiest to feed him.
Casper’s lips twisted to the side, the boy smarter than his wild nature let on. “You’re mad at him.”
Her son was spot on and it made her look back at the boy as she set the cake pans on the counter. The cakes would need a dousing of simple syrup. She thought her son needed some sugar, too. Ellie knelt in front of Casper and pulled him into her arms, but he wriggled free. There was confusion twisting the boy’s face and seeing it was a needle in her heart.
“I don’t want you to be mad at the man, mommy.” Casper reached up to place his child-sized hands on either side of Ellie’s face.
How could she tell a four year old that she wasn’t mad, she was scared? Ellie couldn’t imagine explaining to Casper that the man on the porch could easily sweep into their lives and turn it upside down. She knew so little about Nolan and didn’t want him to try to steal her joy away from her for the sake of pride. Nolan hadn’t wanted anything to do with her after that night and she’d made peace with that only because it’d left her with something even better.
“I like the man,” Casper said, his hands falling away from her cheeks, leaving them cold and bereft. “He smells familiar.”
“Smells?” Ellie asked, her voice clearly incredulous. There was no way Casper got anywhere near close enough to even sniff Nolan. A smile crept over her lips. She figured it was his child mind trying to make sense of the connection the two must have. She knew there was a connection between them, so why wouldn’t Casper be drawn to his father too?
The thought only stirred more confusion and fear inside of her. Ellie felt like vinaigrette and waited for things to start to come together, but the oil and vinegar inside of her didn’t seem to want to come together. It only left her feeling uneasy, like someone had removed a piece of her and she was left limping.
No, she told herself. Nolan wouldn’t take her son.
Yet, the hairs on her neck prickled and she looked up to find him standing in the doorway. Casper darted away from his kneeling mother to stand before Nolan, silently staring up with his head cocked.
Ellie tried to catch Nolan’s gaze, tried to tell him he wasn’t going to ruin her family, but his world was consumed by the small being before him. Her chest eased for a moment and she told her body it was a traitor.
Before either could trade words, her mother rushed into the kitchen. Grace was halfway to the coffee maker when she stopped dead in her tracks. The woman slowly looked over her shoulder, eyes wide with silent amazement.
“He’s standing still,” Grace whispered.
It’d been a long time since Ellie had seen her son stand in one spot for more than a few seconds. That had to have been before he learned how to crawl. Once Casper discovered movement, he was the kind of object that stayed in motion until affected by an outside force. The outside force being her.
But, Nolan’s presence had Casper rapt. The boy stared up at him, as if trying to remember something, though Nolan had never been in the boy’s life before.
“Why do you smell like snow?” Casper asked.
An expression passed over Nolan’s face. It was pained, prideful, and su
rprised all at once. Ellie couldn’t understand why? She guessed the man didn’t have much experience with children and their take on how the world worked.
“It’s because he came in from outside, honey,” Grace tossed over her shoulder as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She would need it if Casper started moving again.
Time was running out. Casper’s limbs would start flying soon, carrying him all over the place. Ellie reminded herself to figure out what had been broken earlier, the crash forgotten until now.
Nolan looked like he wanted to answer, his mouth flapping for a moment, before it snapped shut and his eyes met Ellie’s. There was darkness in them that made her stomach flip. She could see what he wanted. To talk.
Ellie had nothing to talk about. She stood, brushing herself off, and turned back toward the cakes on the counter. There was work to be done. Cakes to be salvaged.
“Ellie,” Nolan growled.
She looked up and found her mother watching her. Jaw tight, Ellie ignored him. She reached for the bottle of simple syrup and poured enough over the top of the dry cakes to salvage them. The smell of vanilla and butter rose to tickle her nose.
This was where things were supposed to be predictable. Reliable. Now, there was a man in her kitchen she’d prayed she would never see again and her son was talking about the way he smelled. Her world was quickly tilting sideways and she didn’t know what she could do to stop it from turning upside down.
“Ellie!” This time it was Grace who snapped her fingers in front of Ellie’s face to get her attention.
“What?” she slammed her hands down onto the counter.
Casper spun around, startled. Her heart sank. She hadn’t meant to frighten her own child. All she’d wanted was for Nolan to shut up and go away. If she closed her eyes, she thought he might disappear, like a figment of her imagination. But, that was only wishful thinking.
“We need to talk right now?”
“I can grab Casper and leave,” Grace offered, but Nolan shook his head.
The Snow Leopard's Christmas Surprise Page 2
