by Jade Taylor
Joey considered. “How long will that be?”
“A few weeks, maybe a month or two. Certainly not more than that.”
“That’s a long time. Maybe he’ll like living on a farm and he’ll decide to stay.”
A childish dream began to appear in her daughter’s words. Cat needed to destroy that dream to protect Joey. Anger at the injustice of life rose in her. Harshly, she said, “Jackson doesn’t like farms, Joey. That’s why he left Engerville. He’s not going to stay, so quit thinking he will.”
Joey huddled into Cat’s side. Her voice quavered. “Are you sure, Mom? He smiles a lot. I don’t think he’s sad.”
“Jackson is happy because he knows he doesn’t have to stick around. I’m sorry, Joey, but you think every nice guy who comes along would make a good daddy. I want you to realize Jackson won’t be here for long so you don’t get your hopes up. He’s leaving and that’s the end of this discussion.” Cat looked up as Jackson walked across the lawn toward them, his face covered with smoke and soot, a splash of gray ash down one lean cheek. There didn’t appear to be much hope for Joey…and none for herself.
Jackson held out a hand and pulled Cat to her feet. Joey rose with her.
“I’m going to drive home and tell Pop what happened. I’ll be back in an hour or so to help you clean up, but first I want to go in with you while you look around.”
“You’ve done enough already. I’ll call my insurance agent and then finish the cleaning. You don’t have to help.”
“I wouldn’t dream of allowing you to fight this mess alone. You’re going to need a couple of the wall studs replaced, and part of the floor is burned pretty bad. I’m not sure how much of the ceiling is gone, but it didn’t burn all the way through the roof, except in that one spot. I can cover it with heavy plastic. Most of the damage is due to smoke and that’ll wash up with soap and water…and maybe a coat of paint.”
Cat nodded. “Really, I can take care of it. You’ve saved our lives at the risk of your own. That’s quite enough for one day, don’t you think?”
Jackson laughed, then reached out and flicked Joey’s cheek with one finger. “I can’t imagine anyone hesitating for a second if they knew this little girl needed help. And the fire wasn’t that bad, so I was never in danger.”
“Don’t make light of it, Jackson.”
“For pete’s sake, Cat, don’t say any more. I only did what anyone else would do. Let’s go take a look at the damage.”
The reason Jackson wanted to be with her when she got her first clear look at the water-drenched, fire-blackened living room was quickly apparent. Cat sucked in a deep breath. Jackson’s arm snaked around her and pulled her into his chest.
“Hey, Wild Cat…what’d I tell you? This isn’t nearly as bad as it looks.”
Cat choked back a sob. “Yes, it is, too…. Damn! I sound like Joey. I’m sorry. It’s just…oh, never mind.”
“Don’t cry, Cat,” he whispered. “Please. I’ll help you, I promise. So will Joey. Won’t you, Short Stuff?”
Joey looked ready to cry too, but she nodded. Her pink lips trembled.
“I’m going to go now, but I’ll be back. Just take it easy, will you? Don’t go mopping and scrubbing until I’m here to help.” He left them standing at the door.
Cat watched him go, feeling half sick at the damage the fire had done. The home she’d worked so hard to make had nearly gone up in smoke. She’d be weeks, maybe months, repairing the damage and even then, it wouldn’t be the same. The fire made her realize her vulnerability in a way the bank’s threat to foreclose hadn’t been able to achieve. Jackson’s going made her know the aching emptiness inside her would never disappear.
“We’re getting to be experts, Joey,” she whispered.
“Expert at what, Mommy?”
At watching Jackson Gray leave, she thought, but she didn’t say the words aloud.
It was hard to decide what to do first. Cat ran her hand over the wall and it came away black. She went into the kitchen and washed her hands at the sink. Everything she touched was covered in soot. Even the handle of the faucet. She heard the sound of an engine and glanced out the window over the sink. Luke’s truck.
Luke looked like he’d just come from the fields. His denim jacket was dusty and his jeans had a dirt smear on the left leg. He came around to the kitchen door, the way he always did.
She opened the door and he came in, looked around for just a second, then said, “What the— Cat, did you burn something on the stove, or what? It smells terrible in here.”
She told him what had happened, about the fire and how Jackson saved them both. There was no mistaking his concern.
“Oh, Cat, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Damn, you shouldn’t be living here all alone, anyway.”
“Luke, being alone didn’t cause the fire. If six other people had been here, it still would have happened. And Jackson would have had a very busy morning trying to save eight people instead of just two.”
Luke frowned. “That’s not exactly what I meant. I wish you’d taken me up on my offer. It’s still open, you know.”
“To marry you? Luke, don’t be silly. You don’t love me and marrying somebody to get a mother for Tommy Karl would end up making you miserable. Tommy Karl will be okay. You’re doing a good job with him.”
His voice softened. “I didn’t just need a mother for Tommy.”
Cat shook her head. “I know. I get lonely, too, but we both know that friendship, even a great friendship, is not the same as love.”
He nodded. “Well, as a friend, the least I can do is offer to help clean up. I’ve got to pick up Tommy Karl in town and we could swing by here on our way back.”
“No,” Cat said firmly. “Jackson’s coming back and I know how much you have to do at home. We’ll be okay.”
Luke sighed. “I guess you’re right, but are you sure you should let Jackson come back? I’d hate to see him hurt you again.”
“I’m not a starry-eyed teenager anymore. Jackson can’t hurt me unless I let him. And I don’t intend to do that.”
“What was that old saying about ‘good intentions’?”
After he left, Cat thought about his question. She didn’t just have good intentions. She had resolution and nothing could sway that. Not even Jackson Gray.
JACKSON TOLD HIS FATHER about the fire, watching the different emotions race across the older man’s face. Fear and concern for his son and for Cat and her daughter. “Cat’s pretty shook up. She looked sick when the smoke cleared out and she could see how bad it was. I’m going to clean up, put a bandage on these scratches and then go back and help her. Okay?”
“I’ll call Buddy and ask him to come out here. He can use the work.”
“You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“That’s what neighbors are for, besides it’s the least you can do.”
Jackson lifted a brow. “The least I can do? What does that mean?”
Will stared up at the ceiling as if debating a reply, then shook his head. “Nothing. Not a thing. You’re sure they’re both okay?”
Jackson nodded.
“Good. Go on, then.”
As Jackson stood in the shower, he thought about his conversation with his father. Pop’s fear for Cat and Joey’s safety seemed a bit excessive, even with them being the older man’s closest neighbor. Ah, well, his father had a soft heart.
Smoke and soot slid down Jackson’s body along with blackened, translucent soap bubbles. Afterward, he applied cortisone ointment to the deep scratches on his hand. He’d lost a fair amount of hide on Cat’s behalf. And Joey’s. He thought about the fear he’d seen in the little girl’s eyes, and the sudden change as she recognized him. Something melted in him. Something warm and sweet to replace the lump of resentment coming home had put there. Who was the horse’s ass who’d had the lack of human feeling to walk away from her?
If he ever got married, he’d not mind having a bit of sweetness like Joey to give him a reason
to come home every night. Her mother would make the deal even better. He shied away from the thought. Cat loved her dilapidated, broken-down horse farm. She’d never give it up, even if it burned to the ground. She’d live in the barn while she rebuilt, as surely as his father would. Right now, she was probably cleaning up the ashes and debris.
A ball of bittersweet anger formed under his ribs. No way was he going to stay in Engerville. No way was Cat going to leave. No way for the three of them to become a family. Quit thinking, he ordered himself. Quit thinking about the impossible.
A MOP IN ONE HAND and a pail of water in the other, Cat studied the devastation the fire had caused to her home and how little progress she’d made in the last hour. She swiped at her eyes and turned away from Joey. If this accident had destroyed her security, what would it do to Joey? She didn’t want her daughter to realize how shaken she was at the mess fire could make of their home in a very few minutes.
The doorbell rang, jarring her from her misery. She looked through the front window. Jackson stood outside. Six feet, two inches of heroic rescuer. He looked the part, she thought. His hair still curled damply red from his shower. A white T-shirt stretched its seams across his broad chest and snug-fitting Marine fatigue pants hugged his narrow hips. Cat quickly finger-combed her hair. Joey bumped against Cat’s side as she hurried to see who waited on the other side of the door.
“It’s Jackson, Mom. Can I let him in?”
Cat glanced at the eager look on her daughter’s face. Probably mirrored her own, she realized. This hero-worship of Jackson Gray had to stop, on both their parts, no matter how much he deserved it. “I’ll let him in. Get the cleaning rags from the closet for me, would you? We’re going to have to wash down all the walls to get rid of the smoke smell.”
Joey nodded, but instead of running to the closet, she stood still beside her mother. Cat frowned. “Oh, well. You can say hello first. Giving in to you is getting to be a habit, young lady. Remind me to be firm next time.”
Joey’s smile lit her whole face. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll remind you.”
“I bet you will, Teddy Bear.” Cat laughed and moved to the door.
She opened it and did her best not to dwell on the way the morning sun through the trellis painted his face with bright bands, highlighting his copper hair.
“Hi, Cat. Joey.”
Cat held the door wider. “Come on in. We’re just starting on the floor and walls. You really don’t have to help, Jackson. I wouldn’t ask anybody to do this messy job.”
“You didn’t ask. I volunteered. Remember?”
Cat nodded. “So you did. I thought the Marines taught a guy to keep his mouth shut when the call went out for volunteers.”
Jackson eased past her to stare at the damage. “I’m a slow learner. Where do you want to start?”
Cat felt his passing like a warm breeze. It heated her blood and made her heart beat faster. Old memories kept intruding lately. Old memories she’d tried to forget. “Want a cup of coffee?”
He shook his head. “I’d rather make a start first. I had a cup at the farm. That’ll do me for a while.”
“Your father didn’t mind your coming over?”
Again, Jackson shook his head. Fleeting irritation skated across his face. “I’m over twenty-one, Cat. I don’t have to ask if I can go see a friend anymore.”
Cat shrugged. “I just meant there might be chores waiting at home. Lord knows, there’s always something to be done here.”
“Pop called Buddy and he’s coming over. I’m sure there’ll still be work for me to do when I get home, though. That’s just the way it is.”
Cat gave in. “Well, then, let’s get started. What would you prefer to do, clean the walls or scoop up burned stuff?”
Jackson stood with his arms crossed, surveying the large smoky-smelling room. He nodded as if making up his mind. “I’ll start with the burned stuff. Have you got a large bucket? I thought I’d cut the corner off the carpet, where it’s burned so bad. Do you think the rest of it can be cleaned?”
“I’m afraid not. That carpet saw its best day long before the fire. With the smoke and water damage, we might as well take it all out. I wish I could live with this mess, but that hole in the wall has to be repaired, and those floorboards need to be replaced. The roof will need some new shingles on that corner, too.” She sighed. “No, it has to be fixed.”
Jackson’s eyebrows shot up. “Why would you want to live with it? It’s a total mess.”
Cat looked around for Joey. Her daughter lingered near the door, staring in obvious fascination at their visitor. “Joey, go out to the barn and get that plastic bucket I left in the tack room. Jackson can use that to put trash in.”
Joey twisted like a worm on a hook. “Aw, Mom. I want to stay here with you guys.”
“What was that you were going to remind me about?” Joey hardly ever argued with her before Jackson came on the scene. Cat had no intentions of letting her start, even if she did agree with her daughter that every man in Engerville faded into the background next to Jackson Gray.
“Sure, sure. I’ll go get the bucket. ’Bye, Jackson. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Jackson stared hard at Cat until Joey left the house, then he asked, bluntly, “Why, Cat?”
Cat matched his bluntness with the naked truth, though she would have preferred not to tell him. She would manage. She didn’t want his pity. “I’m behind on the mortgage payments, Jackson. I’d rather use the insurance money for that than get new carpet.”
Jackson walked farther into the living room. He looked around at the damage. “You know what, Cat? I’m a pretty fair carpenter. Pop taught me how a long time ago when he did carpenter work to pay the bills and the farm was just work. Farming didn’t pay for anything…not in the beginning. I’ll bet I could repair this wall and the floor. Even the ceiling. The joists aren’t burned, just scorched. Only a couple feet of the roofing will have to be replaced.”
Jackson’s heart overpowered his common sense, she thought. He’d been that way in school, too. She refused his too-generous offer. “It’s a huge job, Jackson. Far too big for a guy who has to go home and clean stalls afterward.” She softened her refusal with a brief smile. “I couldn’t ask you.”
“Didn’t we already talk about volunteering? Pop has all the tools and the work involved is not that bad. It might take me a week or two, working a few hours at a time, but I could do it.”
Cat shook her head, moved around him to stand a step or two in front, and surveyed the damage. “Why should you? Really, Jackson, helping a neighbor is nice of you, but I think this is off the scale. There’s too much to do and your father needs you at the farm.”
Jackson grinned at her. His entrancing smile taking charge of her, her heart and the situation. “Let me worry about Pop. Do you want me to do it or not? It’s up to you, Cat.”
She’d dreamed about his smile for years. Hesitating, she said, “I shouldn’t.”
He came over to her and placed one hand on each shoulder, so close his body heat caused unwanted desire to tremble on the edge of happening.
“There are a lot of things I’ve done that I shouldn’t have. For most of those things, I’m only sorry a little bit. If you let your life be ruled by what you should or shouldn’t do, then I’ll know you’re not Wild Cat Darnell anymore. Are you Wild Cat or Catherine?”
He stood too close. It made thinking hard and talking almost impossible, but remembering was easy. “That’s not fair-r-r, Jackson.”
As if he felt the same things she did, he leaned down and touched her cheek with his lips, so briefly she couldn’t call it a kiss, yet it sent a lightning surge of wanting through her.
He stepped back and lowered his hands, quickly, as if he too felt the electricity between them. His whispered words echoed off the smoky walls. “I don’t recall making any claims about being fair.”
Cat held her stomach with one hand, trying to still the turmoil inside her. “What’s in it for yo
u? I can’t pay you.”
Jackson ran an impatient hand through his hair, failing to disturb the short curls. “What does it matter? I don’t know.”
Cat thought he sounded exactly like Joey when she asked her daughter to explain something she did on impulse.
“You must know, Jackson,” Cat prompted, as she did when she tried to get a reason out of Joey. She didn’t know what she wanted to hear from the tall Marine, but she knew she shouldn’t accept his offer.
Jackson shrugged, as if her questions were irrelevant. “The whole point is I don’t need the money, Cat. What’s in it for me is knowing I’m helping an old friend. We used to be good friends. It’s reason enough. Does that satisfy you?”
“That’s all?”
He grinned the old wicked smile. “Unless you can think of another way to pay me.”
Her heart lurched, then righted itself. To say Jackson Gray teased was like saying snow was cold and spring followed winter. His sense of humor knew no bounds. She retorted, “If I didn’t know you were kidding, I’d smack you!”
Just for a moment, he hesitated, then looked past her. “Right. That’s settled then. Let’s get to work.”
She could have sworn he meant to say something else.
“Here’s Joey with the bucket I need. Thanks, Short Stuff. Want to help me? You can pick up the smaller pieces.”
Joey turned to her mother.
She couldn’t deny her daughter a bit of closeness with Jackson. Her past decisions had cost Joey enough. Let her have these moments, this bit of time. Cat smiled, feeling the hot sting of tears behind the smile. “I give up. Whatever Jackson says.”
Jackson clapped a big hand on Joey’s shoulder in a gentle fashion. “That’s the way I like a woman to talk. Your mother is finally getting the message.”
“Don’t listen to him, Joey. You’re not that big, Marine. This cat can still scratch.”
“I wondered about that,” he said, then quickly backed away, throwing up his hands as if to protect himself from her claws.
Even Joey giggled as they set to work.
