“We had a good couple of years, but she couldn’t take the life of a DEA agent. The absences, the secrecy, the danger.” He tipped his head, the mocking grin in place. “But, hey, once a loner, always a loner. If I want to spend a week at my cabin in the western Maryland woods, I do it. I got nobody to answer to but DARK.”
Nobody to answer to. Nobody to love. Both parents. His mentor. His wife. He’d lost everyone he was ever close to. Even his hoodlum friends. The realization stunned her. Breathing in the subtle scent of his soap, she felt a rush at the sense of connectedness. A wave of longing swept through her.
“Hey, now that you don’t have to hide from Roszca, how about a moonlight swim?” Simon was on his feet before she could blink.
“You got it.” She’d let him change the subject, but not for long. “I didn’t get to go snorkeling today, so I need a good swim. Last one in is a rotten hacker.”
“Q, your numero-uno job on this gig is as a hacker. Rotten is no option. Looks like I lose the dare before post time.”
She laughed as they headed to their cabins to change.
Janna stripped off her tank top and shorts. Being a loner was an act for Simon. He used devil-may-care charm as a cover for loneliness. The cocky rule-breaker facade masked a disappointed idealist who was fiercely honest and loyal. He’d transferred her guilt to himself — but at what cost? No wonder he avoided relationships. Caring meant being hurt again.
Exactly her reason for keeping people at arm’s length. And no less valid. The last thing she needed was to fall for Simon.
She doubted he’d ever hurt or betray her, but she couldn’t take that chance. Never again would she put herself in the trap of a relationship. Never again would she give up her self, give control of her life to a man. Even to a good man. Not in this lifetime.
Could she leave her heart out of the equation if they gave in to the desire hovering between them on the tropical air? Could they simply enjoy each other?
She didn’t know. But perhaps they could help each other heal. She hadn’t had that many sexual experiences before her marriage. Gabe’s attentions were demands rather than lovemaking. The desire Simon sparked was reviving a part of her she’d thought was dead. He could bring her senses alive again and make new memories to shut out the bad ones — if he’d stop piling on the guilt.
She might have to make the first move. Seduction was not her forte. But making the first move put her in control. Where she needed to be.
A scene in one of her favorite romance novels occurred to her. Something she’d never dared to do with Gabe, who had no sense of humor. Uncertain of Simon’s reaction, she placed a hand over her stomach, where a school of the coral reef’s blue tangs was swirling. No, she wouldn’t be afraid. Simon wouldn’t hurt her.
If she could pull it off, the ploy might just work.
Janna tossed her cover-up shirt aside. He’d already seen her scars. She dug through her swimwear for the skimpiest bikini her boat bunny wardrobe included.
***
The moment Janna came back up on deck Simon’s temperature climbed like a flu victim’s.
Carrying two fluffy white towels, she sauntered toward him. The light from the companionway behind her silhouetted every undulation of her hips in the bikini bottom, made of some kind of wet-looking stuff. Whoa, mama.
His mouth tasted as dry as sand. The tiny pink triangle rode high above her tanned, taut thighs and low on her smooth belly. Her legs stretched into next week. And oh, man, the bra — a misnomer — barely covered her nipples.
His body reacted, shooting lust through him so he could barely breathe. Good thing he’d nixed bikinis for himself in favor of trunk-style suits, or his condition would be tent-pole obvious.
She slung the towels over the aft rail and joined him on the swim platform. Her slow smile seemed to tilt her eyes so he felt like he was falling into them, into silver clouds.
“How nice,” she said. “You’ve secured the tender on the starboard side, clear of the platform. You’re getting the hang of boat life.” Her voice flowed low and warm right into his bloodstream.
“Starboard. Uh, yeah.” He could see her nipples bud against the thin top. He stifled a groan. Sweat streamed down his torso, and he backed toward the outer edge of the platform.
Swinging her hips, she closed the space between them. One cool finger burned a trail down his temple. She tossed the sweat she’d gathered to the breeze. “Ooh, poor baby. Are you hot, Simon?”
“Hot? Oh, yeah. Hot.” But the heat shimmering between them sure as hell had nothing to do with the tropical night. His pulse throbbed to the beat of the water slapping against the hull.
“I thought so.”
Her husky laugh curled tingles through him. The moonlight painted shades of platinum and wheat on her flirty hair. That same cool finger, now damp with his sweat, danced over his shoulder and down his chest. He’d give up breathing, give anything if she’d continue downward.
Her hand stopped at the base of his sternum. “Then you need to cool off.”
She pushed.
Chapter 16
AIR RUSHED PAST Simon as he flopped backward. A splash, and an instant before the bathwater-warm Caribbean closed over his head, he saw her dive. Her slender body, straight as an arrow, sliced the water beside him.
They bobbed to the surface at the same time. She swam away a few feet. With her wet hair sleeked back, she belonged in the water, a mermaid.
He spouted a fountain of salty water. “Yuck. This stuff tastes saltier than my aunt Minnie’s fried chicken. Way saltier than Chesapeake Bay. Hey, but I barely have to work to float.” He’d swum every day, but hadn’t noticed. Worry about leaving Janna alone had curtailed his enjoyment.
“You’re okay then?”
The tight set of her mouth meant worry that he’d be angry. His gut clenched. Gabe strikes again, the bastard. At least she’d had the gumption to take a chance on teasing him. He sent her a grin of reassurance. “Okay? Come here and I’ll show you how okay I am.”
She shook her head, spraying droplets onto the surface. A smile twitched up the corners of her mouth. “No way. You’ll dunk me or something.”
Or something. Smart woman. The dunking she’d given him might’ve cooled his skin, but not the furnace inside him. If he got his hands on her wet, bare skin, he might be tempted to sample the salt on her neck, her breasts, her belly. He might have to taste every inch.
Wiser to keep temptation farther than arm’s length. For her, he manufactured a gasp of shock. “Never. Would I do that?” He placed a hand over his heart and gazed skyward.
Laughing, she hit her palms on the surface. The resulting splash soaked his head, like the old saying. “We could race around the boat. One, two, three, go!”
Without waiting for his response, she took off with a strong overhand. All he could see as she splashed toward the bow was a flash of stroking arms and her perfect butt.
Racing in this bathwater seemed like too much work. Floating on his back, he paddled to the right — correction, starboard — corner of the swim platform. He had only to wait.
When she touched the platform, he popped up in her face. “What took you so long?”
She sank, sputtering.
He slung an arm around her waist and yanked her back to the surface. He tethered them with one hand on the yacht. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Coughing, she clung to his shoulders.
With her against him, he could barely think. His heart knocked against his sternum. She was breathtaking. Water beaded her lashes. The moon shone in her pupils, dilated so there was almost no silvery gray. Water streamed down her cleavage.
She pulled closer.
As they bobbed together in the water, her breasts brushed his chest. The barely-a-bra slipped, and one shell-pink, pebbled nipple peeked at him. Every molecule in his body stood at attention. His pulse sprinted and his entire body clenched. Intense as a volcano, desire bl
asted through him. He sucked in a breath.
Her gray eyes turned smoky. Her wet lips parted. “Just what did you mean to do, Simon?”
Not this.
He rocked his mouth over hers. A raw jolt of electricity shot to his belly as he tasted her, sweet and salt and Janna. She sighed into his mouth and ran her hands over his shoulders and down his back. Her toned body fit against him perfectly, her skin soft as flower petals to the touch.
He eased her closer, pressing her breasts against him, not the bra top — her breasts. The bikini top had slipped to her waist. Her body glistening in the moonlight was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. The weightless buoying of the bathwater-warm Caribbean, the wet slide of their heated bodies, the tropical canopy overhead — surreal seduction he couldn’t deny.
He kissed and licked his way down her neck, down the upper swells of her breasts, to the nipples that begged for his tongue to taste them. When he drew first one, then the other into his mouth, she shuddered with delight. He nearly lost it right there.
Sweet, so sweet and warm. His body throbbed. A need to possess, a need that burned a direct fuse to desperate. He drew her closer, massaged his aching shaft against the softness of her flat belly.
Her hands on his shoulders tightened. Her sweet breath puffed against his lips. In her wide eyes, he saw a glimmer of doubt, of fear.
He swallowed, shuddered, as he controlled his straining body. Damn Gabriel Harris. She would set the boundaries, the pace. If it killed him, he would never cause her fear.
And holding back just might kill him.
Panic stiffened Janna in Simon’s arms for only a brief moment. He was only a few inches taller than she, but much, much stronger. He could overpower her, hurt her if he wanted.
His powerful need for her was obvious. His arms encircled her, but they were supporting her. He posed no threat. No smothering trap. He would free her if she chose. The fear evaporated. Only warmth and arousal pervaded her. She snuggled closer into his gentle embrace, made even tenderer by the obvious strain in his body and his words.
Desire burned in his eyes, but tension crinkled their edges. His muscles flexed as he started to release her. “Do you want me to stop?”
She released a sigh and melted against him. “Don’t stop.” She wrapped a leg around his thigh, pressing her belly against his arousal.
He groaned and kissed her again. Deep, delicious kisses that poured heat into her body and steamed her blood. His wet beard stubble prickled softly against her cheek, against her breasts. She greedily inhaled his scent — seawater and hot skin and male.
She rubbed her fingertips over the muscled contours of his chest. She nibbled at his earlobe and the earring that so intrigued her — the diamond, not the communicator. She slid downward, the seawater sluicing around them, between their stroking bodies.
Her flesh tingled at the sensation. With the recognition of freedom, her soul rejoiced. Simon didn’t trap her beneath him. Buoyed by the salt water, they held each other, gave pleasure to each other as equals. She wasn’t helpless, but empowered. Free.
A soft, vibrant warmth uncurled inside her, and desire returned, in currents that swirled inside her stronger than ever before.
When she closed her hand around him, he groaned and peeled off his trunks to give her better access. He shuddered against her grasp, not driving into her, but allowing her to explore and stroke.
“Sadist,” he gritted out against her mouth.
She smiled. “Your turn.”
His hand slid across her abdomen, inside her bikini and between her legs. With his thumb, he stroked her most sensitive spot. Her flesh felt tight and wild. Sensation plucked at her nerve endings, licking her with a flame just out of reach.
“Simon,” she cried, shimmying out of the tiny swimsuit.
He withdrew his hand slowly and held her hips. “No protection.” His voice cracked with agonized restraint.
Passion fogged her brain, saturating her senses, so his meaning didn’t click immediately. “Protection. Oh, I’m on the pill. DARK regs for undercover.”
He flashed a whiter-than-white pirate grin. “Now that’s one rule I approve of.”
His lightning bolt of a kiss sent shock waves through her. He followed it with a knowing hand that sought and stroked and brought gasping moans of pleasure from her lips. She opened to him, wrapping her legs around his body and arching backward. Sensations sparked as though falling stars had entered her body.
Then his hand withdrew and he pushed solidly into her. At the spiraling heat of his invasion, she clenched and unclenched her muscles around him. They surged together, waves of pleasure rippling through her, around her, between them, until the flood rolled through her from the deep recesses of her body, swamping her with spasms of molten sensation and swirling her into oblivion.
He stiffened against her as his climax took him. He shouted an incoherent cry of pleasure as he followed her into the whirlpool.
Long moments later, he peeled her legs from around his taut flanks. He set her away from him. “Are you all right?”
His impersonal tone and shuttered expression stunned her. The edge of the swim platform cut into her hand as she sought calm. “Never better. Simon, what—?”
“This was a mistake. You don’t really want me.” He pushed himself up onto the swim platform and offered her a hand.
Her arms were empty, but her body ached for him. The water that had felt warm earlier now chilled her skin.
She let him hoist her onto the boat. “I believe I do, but you seem to know what I want more than I. You wanted me a few minutes ago. We gave in to chemistry. Was that wrong or misguided?”
He finger-combed his hair away from his face. It was the first time she’d seen it stay in place. Dripping water on the deck, he stood there apparently unconcerned about his nakedness. “Yeah, I want you. I’ve always wanted you. But anything more than a one-time thing won’t fly, and we still have to work together. Not cool.”
She snatched a towel from the stern rail and wrapped it around her. “It wouldn’t work out? Do you mean the sex?”
“You’re not making this easy.”
“Darn right.” Her heart clattered like an overworked hard drive, but she kept her face impassive. Gripping the towel around her kept her hands steady.
He huffed out an exasperated sigh. “Not the sex. We heated the water to a boil back there.”
“What then? You afraid I’ll cling?”
From his deer-in-the-headlights look, she knew she’d hit it. That, and his guilt about not rescuing her from Gabe.
“Janna, I don’t do relationships. They don’t pan out for me. And you’re working your way out of a deep pit.” Finally, he slapped the other towel around his hips. Too late. She’d seen exactly how much he still wanted her. Again.
“Oh, you think it’s a rebound thing.” She marched across the deck and poked an index finger at his bare chest. “Let me tell you something. I’m done with relationships myself. Been there, done that. Once burned, if you get my drift.”
He winced, as well he should. “It’s not the same thing.”
She jabbed him again. “No matter. You feel guilty you didn’t save me from my abusive husband. So you took your chance to help out the poor widow.”
He grabbed her hand. “Janna, for the love of—”
“Will you stop interrupting me!” Flattening her palm against his chest, she felt his heart racing as fast as hers.
She could see in his eyes when he yielded, but just as quickly, he masked his emotion — and his renewed desire for her. Anxiety shivered through her and tightened her chest. She had to make him understand.
His big hand curled around hers. “Okay. I’m listening.”
She gentled her tone. “Simon, love has nothing to do with it. Being human again is what I want. To regain my sense of self, to feel an emotion other than fear. To live without jumping out of my skin every time someone touches
me. When you kiss me, when you hold me, I’m not afraid. This time was wonderful, but it was a beginning. You can help me heal.”
And maybe we can heal each other.
When she finished, he remained silent. His brown eyes, dark and brooding, hid his thoughts. Shadows and moonlight scored his face into harsh planes and sharp angles. Only the leap of a jaw muscle betrayed the emotional battle within.
Simon lifted her hand to his mouth. He pressed a moist kiss to her palm, a kiss so tender she nearly wept. “You’re forgetting we have a mission. A dangerous mission that distraction could crash and burn. No, this ends it. You’d regret more. And so would I.”
He turned and went below without another word.
***
After the negotiating session the next morning with Viktor Roszca, Simon loosened the dinghy’s line from the dock. That knot slipped free, but Janna still had him tied up so tight that every muscle in his body ached.
She filled him with longing. Dark, bottomless kisses. Supple skin and her scent, laced last night with salt. She was a wonder — sleek femininity, an incisive mind, strength and vulnerability. He wanted her with heart-stopping hunger. When they merely brushed in passing, his body hummed. The dual needs to protect and possess burned in his heart. One time with her and he was in big trouble.
Help her heal? How could he help her heal without scarring himself? Without sinking in deeper? She was already special to him. She might not hate him for failing her about Gabe, but one day she’d see how vast their differences were. He was a street tough. She was a socialite with a brilliant mind. When that day came, she’d want out. She’d leave.
Tension pounded in his temples and shafted pain in his chest. He fought the urge to howl in protest. No, he wouldn’t set himself up for that fall again.
Then there was the mission to bring down Roszca. His preoccupation with Janna threatened his alertness, his focus. He had to fight his reactions to her. Fight his mind from drifting to her.
He turned the key to start the engine. When the motor rumbled to life, he steered for the Horizon. Terns dipped and dived at the water’s surface, their aerodynamic bodies like bullets through the air.
Dark Rules (The DARK Files Book 3) Page 13
