As Max reached my side, I saw the look of sadness in his eyes. But it wasn’t directed at me. He was gazing at little Carrie.
All around me, the noise was becoming deafening. Will and Mandy had moved from their seats and were fighting in a corner, while a few feet away from them, Will’s mother was rolling her eyes.
‘I’d just managed to find my way through the heap of red tape connecting Maeve and Majella to Forever Friends Sweets and Treats, when you phoned your mam and told her you were on your way here,’ Max said in a bleak voice. ‘Hopefully they get everything they deserve. But seeing as it was weredog kids they targeted, I doubt it.’ His eyes were still on Carrie. She was in her parents arms, crying her eyes out. A lot of kids were crying. I imagine they hadn’t got a clue what was going on. They probably thought I was the big bad witch who came to ruin their Halloween.
I squeezed him tight. ‘I wouldn’t be so sure, Max. I doubt there’s a single person in Riddler’s Cove who’s all right with this. No matter what Majella said.’
I had been so concerned with what was most important, that I’d altogether forgotten Mizz Plimpton until she appeared beside me, with my mother pulling her by the collar.
‘Show us the coordinates, Wanda,’ my mother said to me. ‘It doesn’t matter if they’re a bit wet. I can fix that.’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t have them. She wrote them on a blackboard and I memorized them.’
‘Badly,’ said Mizz Plimpton.
My mother’s teeth began to grind. ‘Let’s take a trip to that blackboard then, shall we? See what’s written there.’
Mizz Plimpton’s nose went into the air. ‘I rubbed it off.’
The smile that formed on my mother’s face was one I had seen before. Judging by the way Mizz Plimpton began to shake, I imagine that she, too, had noticed the resemblance to a shark.
‘Well,’ said my mother. ‘Let’s all go there anyway. It’s funny what you can salvage when you’ve a mind to.’
She reached out and clutched Mizz Plimpton’s bony arm with one hand. ‘Grab onto her, if you can find some flesh,’ she told me.
Tentatively, I placed my hand on Mizz Plimpton’s shoulder, and my mother snapped her fingers.
≈
The blackboard in the Simple Spells and Incantations classroom was, as Mizz Plimpton had said, completely blank. My mother looked at it and smiled.
‘Words were written, then rubbed off
Now they’ll write again
We’ll see what happened here today
Inside Carmel’s playpen.’
A piece of chalk lifted into the air, and all by itself began to write:
Five point one one three one seven goats by eight hundred point nine nine nine fish
My mother went quiet for a moment. ‘I’ve just been consulting my inner map,’ she said eventually. ‘But go on and check yours if you like, Carmel. Those are, most definitely, the coordinates for the Precipice of Doom.’
Mizz Plimpton cleared her throat. ‘Well, I ... I suppose I must have made a mistake. Tell you what – how about I let Wanda pass the class, and we’ll say no more about it?’
I could feel the anger emanating from my mother. Despite the fact that her fists were shaking, she managed to remain relatively calm. ‘You could have gotten my Wanda killed by sending her where you sent her. Instead, she not only survived, but managed to find Lassie and Emily, and also the evidence to put the real murderers away. If you ever needed proof that the universe is on the side of right, you have it today. So maybe it’s time for you and others like you to reconsider what side you’re on. And as for letting you away with it? Not on your nelly. You’ll never work as a teacher again.’
Mizz Plimpton made one or two attempts at haughtiness. Her nose tilted into the air. She flicked her hair. All the usual. But her twitching and bulging eyes were betraying her. She rounded on me. ‘And what do you have to say about this? Eh? Going to let Mammy fight your battles the rest of your life?’
I grabbed my confiscated belongings off the desk, clasped my mother’s hand, and met Mizz Plimpton’s furious glare. ‘Why not? With a mammy like mine, I’d be stupid not to.’
≈
I only had my phone back a few seconds before it began to buzz. As we pushed open the school doors and walked out into the street, my mother’s phone buzzed too.
‘Gabriel’s brought Lassie and Emily home,’ I said, reading his message. I left out the kissy face emojis he added. ‘And Agatha and Ronnie are in the lab at Crooked College. They’ve just started to test the stuff from Maeve’s cave. Hah. Maeve’s cave.’
‘And Finn and Christine have Majella and Maeve in an interrogation room,’ my mother said, reading from her own screen. ‘Thank the goddess. There’s nothing for you to do now but get yourself into a warm bath.’
I really liked the sound of that. Just as I was about to ask my mother to click her fingers and take us home, though, my phone buzzed again. This time, it was a call instead of a message.
‘Hey Max,’ I said, reading his name on the screen as I answered. ‘Are you back at Wayfarers’ Rest with Lassie?’
‘I am. She’s just getting out of the bath now, and I have some hot chocolate on the stove.’ The smile was evident in his voice. ‘But that’s not why I’m ringing. It’s Rover. He’s just been in touch to tell me he’s found Jasper Jaunt.’
As Max told me the details, I felt my warm bubbly water slipping further and further out of reach.
22. Swanks
My mother and I arrived in Warren Lane, in front of a dilapidated looking building. Rover was standing up against a sign that said Toff’s Corner. He smiled at me. Well, I say smiled. The first time I’d met the stocky redhead in the Water Bowl, he had reminded me of a pit bull. He still did. Today he even had a black eye to complete the look.
‘Good to see you again, Wanda.’ He glanced at my finger. ‘And still wearing the collar? Suits you.’
I looked down at my black studded ring. ‘What can I say? When the big bad weredog chief gives you the seal of approval, you wanna keep that seal on.’ I looked along the street. It was completely empty. ‘So where is he?’
Rover nodded to the run-down building behind him. ‘In there. Where else?’
I looked from him to my mother. ‘Seeing as I wouldn’t even dream of questioning Rover’s nose, I’m thinking that there’s something I’m missing. Is my current lack of magic obscuring something I ought to be seeing?’
‘You are now standing outside the most infamous and expensive of all Irish supernatural hotels. Swanks. You wouldn’t see this place with or without magic,’ my mother replied. ‘Not unless you were supposed to. There’s a permanent distraction spell on the building. The real Swanks is invisible to all but their staff and guests.’ She marched up the steps and pushed a buzzer.
A snooty voice came out through the intercom and said, ‘You are not guests of Swanks. Kindly leave our building and find a doss house more suitable to your station in life.’
‘I’m Beatrice Wayfair,’ my mother said. ‘And if you don’t know what that means, you’ll soon find out. Better you just open the door, sonny.’
The snooty voice said, ‘Oh. Sorry.’
Instantly, the building changed in front of my eyes. A uniformed doorman pulled open a gleaming glass and brass door and said, ‘Please, come in.’
Rover stood back. ‘I’m off to the Water Bowl. Good luck, ladies.’
‘You’re not coming in?’ I asked.
He shook his head. ‘Things to see to, but I’ll catch you at the ball. You’ll find your man in there. Trust me.’
As he sauntered off, my mother and I made our way into a marble-floored foyer. A bar to the left was filled with drunk and raucous celebrity witches, bobbing for apples.
A short, suited man looked up from behind the reception desk and said, ‘Beatrice, please accept my sincerest apologies. My doorman failed to recognise you. What can I do for you? A late dinner? On the house, of course.’
> My mother snorted. ‘I don’t think so, love. We know Jasper Jaunt is staying here. Tell us where his room is – so we can get out of here before the snootiness starts to rub off on us.’
The man began to blink. ‘You do realise what you’re asking of me. Here at Swanks, we guarantee absolute privacy and discretion. If I were to–’
My mother slammed a hand on the polished wooden desk. ‘You’re harbouring a wanted man. So if you would like me to arrest you, just say the word.’
The receptionist sniffed, and his nose lifted up in the air. ‘He is in the penthouse suite. But please – try and keep the noise down while you’re there.’
≈
When my mother blasted open Jasper’s door (with as much noise as possible – take that, snooty receptionist), he was sitting up in bed, drinking from a bottle of champagne and bobbing his head to one of his own songs. He looked just like he did in his posters – skinny, topless, and long-haired. In a couch across the room, Callum Cool was tucking into half a lobster, his leg bouncing in time to the music.
Neither of them noticed we had arrived until my mother turned the stereo off.
‘W-Wayfairs,’ Callum pointed to us, stuttering.
‘Impressive powers of observation.’ I shook my head at him and wagged my finger. ‘And I don’t fancy your chances with Melissa now. Not once she finds out you knew where Jasper was all along.’
His face paled. ‘Well I ... I just ... I only ...’
‘Whatever he says, I back him up,’ said Jasper. ‘I mean, as long as this Melissa is a sort. Is she a sort, Callum?’
Callum grinned. ‘She’s a sort all right.’
‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘The sort who’s never going to go out with you again. Anyway.’ I turned to Jasper. ‘We’re here for you. But I think you know that.’
‘Whoa there, ladies. I haven’t done anything. I’ve been holed up here for weeks.’
My mother approached the bed and pulled the bottle from his hands. ‘We know you have. And that’s the problem. I see you’ve got a perfectly workable television in the room, so you can hardly pretend you don’t know what’s been going on.’
Jasper held his hands up. ‘Look, I know what you’re gonna say. I should have come forward and told you that Maeve had gone nuts, and that I thought it was her doing all the murdering. But if I had’ve, she would have killed the only thing I love.’
‘Wolfie?’ I asked.
He nodded. ‘I love that dog to bits, I do. That’s why I left him at the shelter. So Maeve couldn’t get to him. I’m sorry about the girls an’ all. I mean, Alice going to prison wasn’t right, but what could I do about it?’
‘Alice?’
‘Emma? Eloise?’
‘Emily,’ I provided. ‘Emily Caulfield. And Lassie McGrath. Two innocent young women who could have spent their lives in Witchfield. All because you were too much of a coward to come forward and tell us what you knew. And don’t tell me you were worried about Wolfie, because I know Callum will have told you we’ve been looking after him. Even you know there’s no safer place than with our coven.’
Callum and Jasper were glancing feverishly at one another. I could see how dearly the two idiots wished they had vampire telepathy. That way, they could decide on the safest thing to say. I mean, it wouldn’t have mattered if they did have vampire telepathy, because they still would have been too idiotic to come up with the right thing to say. But that’s the wonderful thing about being as thick as two planks – you have no idea just how stupid you are.
Eventually, Callum opened his mouth. There were pieces of lobster stuck in his beard, but seeing as I probably still had seaweed in my hair, I wasn’t about to point it out.
‘Well, it seems like everything’s all sorted out now,’ he said. ‘So maybe ... maybe we could play the Halloween Ball after all?’
Jasper grinned. ‘That’s a brilliant idea. I mean, the rest of the lads are probably a bit drunk by now. But that usually only makes us better.’
My mother pulled me into a corner of the room. ‘What do you think? I’m not sure there’s too much harm in it.’
‘For real? Don’t you want to arrest them?’
She bit her lip. ‘Honestly, we don’t have the jurisdiction, love. They’re werewolves.’
‘Yeah, but that hardly matters anymore, does it? Finn will gladly sanction it.’
‘The truth is, I just came here tonight to give Jasper a hard time. Let’s face it – he deserves it. But as for arresting him and Callum ... Finn can do that tomorrow, if he wants. Because the thing is, there’s a DJ on standby tonight. She’ll be playing if the Call of the Wild don’t turn up. And she’s a bit of a Holly Golly fan.’
I rubbed some sweat off my brow. Even the thought of that poor murdered woman’s music was enough to make me panic. ‘Well, you’re the boss. But speaking of Holly Golly ... I think it’s time I got home to Molly.’
We finished our confab and turned back to the werewolves.
‘You’re on, lads. Be at the community hall as soon as you can,’ said my mother. She pointed at Callum. ‘But if you send one more piece of underwear to Melissa, I’ll throw you in Witchfield so fast your drums will be spinning.’
23. The World is Right Again
When we arrived in the kitchen, Lassie was sitting in an armchair by the wood-burning stove, while Max handed her a toasted sandwich and Gabriel fluffed her cushions. I smiled at the scene. If anyone deserved special treatment, it was Lassie.
‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ I said, approaching her. ‘You look so much better already.’
She gave me a wan smile. ‘I’m sure I’ll feel it soon enough. Emily’s gone home, but she said she’ll see you at the ball. I was surprised by the way she said it, actually. I thought she was such a shy, quiet thing. But she put her hands on her hips and said, “If your crazy half-sister thinks we’re going to hide somewhere and lick our wounds after this, she has another think coming.” So apparently I’m going too. Not that I feel up to it, but ... Emily’s kind of scary when she wants to be.’
‘Good on her,’ I said. ‘I don’t suppose you guys have seen the parrot since you got home.’
As the three of them shook their heads, Dizzy flew into the room, a solemn expression on his gorgeous little face. He landed on my shoulder and pecked my cheek. ‘Sorry, Wanda. She passed a little while ago. I’d like to be able to tell you we weren’t arguing at the time, but I don’t like lying to you.’
I patted his head. ‘That’s okay. It was kind of hard not to argue with Molly. But now that she’s gone to join her witch, I guess I’d better go and lay her to rest in the graveyard.’
‘You will not,’ said my mother with a wag of her finger. ‘Get upstairs into a hot bath. We’ll get the parrot ready, and we’ll all go to the graveyard on the way to the ball. No arguments.’
‘Fine.’ I made my way towards the stairs. ‘I guess I could do with a de-stink.’
≈
The bath was divine. It was made even more so by the fact that, while I was shampooing my hair for the third time (some stenches take extra effort to shift) the room began to buzz. I squinted my eyes and could just about see them – the tiny little Pernicious Gnats, humming all over my skin, returning the power they had stolen a few hours earlier. I let out a soft sigh and lay back. Now that I had my power once more, the world felt right again.
Regaining my power and freeing myself of the stench of seaweed, though, was only half of the problem. I’d been so busy for the last while that I hadn’t given much consideration to the ball. I had absolutely nothing to wear. All clean and fresh, I stood in front of my wardrobe, looking at the rails filled with jeans and sweaters. The fanciest thing I had was the outfit I’d worn for my initiation, and that was way too special to wear to a dance in the community hall.
‘You have a couple of cocktail dresses.’ Dizzy nudged the two short dresses on the right side of the rail. ‘Maybe we could do something with them.’
I held a black dress up
to the mirror. ‘It’s nice and all. But I look like I’m going to the pub, not to a ball.’ And while I might not be willing to say it out loud, I kind of wanted to look better than Mandy Parker.
‘Knock knock,’ said Melissa, pushing open my door. She was dressed in a lilac gown, holding a matching bag in her hand. ‘I have a little something for you, if you’d like to come this way.’
Dizzy and I followed her to her room. Laid out on her bed was a pale green, glittering gown. It had a low-cut, strapless bodice and a full skirt. A matching pair of shoes and clutch bag sat alongside.
‘I got it at Luna’s Gúnas,’ said Melissa. ‘I knew you wouldn’t take the time to shop for yourself. And before you panic about the price, don’t. There was just enough left of Maureen O’Mara’s money to cover it.’ She bit her lip, looking worriedly at me. ‘Well, say something. If you hate it I can return it.’
I shook my head, hugging her. ‘I love it. And I love you, too. I love you, I love this house, I love this coven. I love Dizzy, I love Max. And did I mention? I love you.’
Her cheeks turned red. ‘I love you too, you big eejit. We all do. Now go and get changed before I have to redo the glamours on my hair.’
24. Wolfie’s Choice
Only a small party of us went to the graveyard. Dizzy had gone out for the night to do something batty, Gabriel had some work to do for tomorrow’s show, and Finn and Christine were still at the Wyrd Court. So there was just me, my mother and Melissa, Lassie, Max and Wolfie.
You might be wondering why we were taking a dog to a ball. To be honest, I think that Max sincerely wished we weren’t. But Callum had texted Melissa as we were getting ready, asking her if Max would agree to reunite Jasper and Wolfie that night. And Max was ... well, Max was doing the right thing. Despite the fact that it was clearly tearing him up inside.
A Trick for a Treat (A Wayfair Witches' Cozy Mystery #3) Page 16
