by Julie Kenner
Kirk was at a breaking point, which was ridiculous because two weeks ago he hadn’t even known who Andrea Powell was, and now he couldn’t concentrate on anything but her.
“Oh, look.”
He glanced in the direction she pointed to see a young boy, his longboard twice as big as he was, struggling in the water. She smiled, and his breath caught and his gut clenched. That was the first smile he’d seen since he’d told her the personal side of their relationship had to end. He’d do just about anything to keep that smile on her face.
Drea asked, “Remember your first time on a board?”
He nodded. One of his nannies had brought him to the beach, so that she could meet up with her boyfriend, and Kirk had taken to surfing right away. Much to his father’s horror. But that first time he rode a wave all the way to shore had been the best day of his life.
As a child. That memory couldn’t compete with his evening with Drea.
“Let’s help him,” she suggested, and he quickly followed.
Kirk sensed that Drea was growing increasingly frustrated with her training. She was snapping. Her teasing responses were gone. As were the heated glances from her eyes and her quick smiles aimed at him. The break might do her good.
The boy’s mom was trying to give him some pointers, but it was clear she didn’t know how to guide him.
“Mind if we show him a few things?” Drea asked the woman.
“Hey, I know you,” the woman said to Kirk. “You’re that surf guy.” A look of relief crossed the boy’s mother’s face. “Feel free. I’m terrible.”
“Why don’t you join us? You might have some fun.” Then Drea turned to the boy. “My name’s Drea and this is Kirk. What’s your name?”
“I’m Riley.”
“First thing, Riley, we’re going to paddle on our board to grab that beach break. Have you ever ridden mush before?”
The boy laughed and shook his head.
“Well, you’re going to.”
An hour later the four of them were laughing and cheering as Riley popped up on his board and road the mushy white water of his first wave all the way in to shore. Riley hugged Drea and Kirk before they picked up their boards and made their way toward Kirk’s car.
Drea handed her board to Kirk in silence, and he secured both boards to the racks on his car.
“That was a lot of fun,” he said.
“Yeah, I’ve been missing fun.”
She lifted her eyes to his, and his blood started to pound in his veins. Heat and desire were banked in those brown eyes of hers. And something else…something he could only describe as yearning.
“Have you?”
Without a thought, Kirk dragged her into his arms. His hands smoothed up and down her back. She fitted against him perfectly, so perfectly.
“I’ve thought of nothing else but this,” she said.
Then he pushed her way. “Drea, we can’t. You’re supposed to be thinking of your training.”
Drea glared at him. “Stop it, Kirk. Just stop it. Everything you’ve said to me since I moved into the hotel is about what I’m doing wrong. I can’t live with my friends. I can’t spend any time with you.”
“What are you talking about? You’re training with me.”
“That’s just it. Training. Your kind of training. I can’t surf like this. I hate it. It’s no wonder you’re ready to quit. You’ve sucked every last bit of enjoyment and fun out of something that is supposed to be exhilarating and exciting.”
Here it was, the crux of the problem between them. “And control and style. It’s not about challenging the wave.”
Drea made a scoffing sound. “You know what? I actually believe that part. Your whole one-with-nature, one-with-the-wave Zen thing I’m actually believing. But then I realized you don’t really believe it. Not in your gut. Control isn’t oneness, and it isn’t me. I can’t surf like this. And I won’t.”
“So what does this mean?” he asked, feeling panic. Was he losing her?
She pulled her hair from its clip, spreading it around her shoulders. Protecting herself. “I’m saying I’m releasing you from our contract. I’ll put in writing as soon as possible. I think I’m just meant to go it alone.”
She pivoted away, and he saw her wrap her arms around her waist. Kirk reached out for her, wanting to comfort her, but his hand fell to his side.
“I’m sorry,” she went on, “I know I’m screwing up your sponsorship and publicity. I’ll still wear my Da Kine surfwear if you want me to.”
“Thanks,” he said automatically, not knowing what to say or how to fix this. The woman he wanted, wanted to help, was walking away from him because she’d rather do that than keep working with him. It was like a kick to the stomach.
“If you’ll take down my board, I’ll head over to the bungalow.”
“Walking?” He didn’t like her walking so far. It wasn’t safe.
She shrugged. “I’ve walked farther.”
He just wanted to see her succeed. To hold her. And to be with her. He’d screwed up, and didn’t understand how something so right had become messed up so badly. “I’ll drive you.”
Drea swallowed and she nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”
Something in his tone must have suggested the supreme effort he was exerting not to argue with her any longer. She walked to the passenger side and slipped into his car.
He drove her to the bungalow for the last time. She didn’t pause to give him a last look as she walked inside the house.
She was making a mistake, he thought. She was making the biggest mistake of her life. Yet two days later he realized he had it backwards. He was making the biggest mistake of his life.
6
HER HEAT was next.
Drea scanned the surf. The very still surf. Calm ocean. Beautiful to look at, fun for families with toddlers to frolic in…not good when you planned to surf on it. A light breeze, too light, brushed her face, and she kicked the warm sand at her feet.
Frustration with the situation made her muscles knot. This was her chance, her first time to surf with the big girls and prove that winning Rookie of the Year was not a fluke.
It was also her chance to prove that turning down Kirk’s sponsorship had not been a huge blunder.
For the past forty-eight hours her thoughts were filled with the idea of knocking on Kirk’s door and telling him that since she was no longer his trainee, they could go back to being lovers.
Pathetic.
She still wanted him, even though she’d tried not to.
Yeah, nothing was cooperating with her. Not the sea, not the man. She sank to the sand and pulled out the surf schedule. The next big wave of competitions would take place in Australia, but there was no way she could even get there if she didn’t win this competition. Everything was riding on Girls Go Banzai since no other offers of sponsorship had come her way, which was not surprising. What little she made at the Trading Post wouldn’t be enough to get her to Sydney.
She had nothing left to sell, so she was stuck here in Hawaii. Not that being locked on one of the most beautiful places on earth was a hardship, but it was not exactly what she had in mind. Drea had to put some cash together.
Maybe she could give lessons. She’d enjoyed showing Riley how to surf, and it would keep her at the beach.
“It just keeps getting worse. We’ll never get any good waves out of that,” JC said as she joined Drea at her beach towel. “Here’s your hot dog.”
It was official, Drea Powell was back on the hot-dog budget. Good thing she hadn’t really started to depend on room service.
JC was antsy and ready to hit the water. Girls Go Banzai had been good for her so far. She’d won the first heat outright, and Drea found herself genuinely happy for her. With her recent drop in the rankings, JC’s confidence had been taking a beating.
“At least one good thing came out of this terrible weather, if low eighties and a light breeze could be considered terrible,” Laci commented as she sank down o
n the sand beside her roommates. “Kirk’s not here.”
For the last two mornings, Kirk had surfed. He’d kept his distance, but twice Drea had thought she’d caught him looking in her direction. That wasn’t surprising since every chance she’d gotten she’d been staring at him. A week ago, she would have risked it all and marched right up to him and asked why he was being such an idiot.
She was both angry and sad at the same time. A relationship could have worked between them while in training if he’d let it.
Yeah, a week ago she’d have confronted him. But not now. Something had changed. She just didn’t want to figure it out. She stood, brushing the sand from her legs. “I think I’ll go check with Linda and see if they’ve gotten any encouraging weather reports. Like a big tropical storm.”
KIRK WAXED his surfboard as he waited for the weather to change. He’d always appreciated the familiar motions of prepping his board and stowing it away. But right now he was frustrated because he actually had the urge to rack it and head back to the beach. He truly wanted to hit the waves and surf.
Shock rocked him. He’d been feeling the drag of the professional surf circuit for a while, but he’d assumed he was just tired of the hotel rooms, the different cities and the travel. His dad convinced him he was ready to stay put in one place and do something different with his life.
And now he wasn’t so sure that Drea didn’t have a point. Maybe he was willing to give up his lifestyle because it wasn’t fun for him anymore. Because he’d sucked the joy out of it.
Just as he’d done to Drea. His chest began to hurt.
His cell phone rang. It was Linda. “We’ve had some luck in the weather. The Pipeline is breaking eighteen feet, and your girl’s up next.”
Panic knifed through his gut. No way would Drea be able to resist eighteen feet, but it was crazy. The woman surfed like she had something to prove, and maybe he’d added to that need. He grabbed his car keys and headed to the competition.
When he arrived, large breaking waves were forming perfect barrels. Several surfers were already turning away from the lineup, intimidated by the height of the waves. Drea wasn’t one of them.
THIS WAS IT. Her chance. The waves were crazy, and if Drea successfully surfed this monster, she’d win. Another sponsorship would surely be in her future then.
Daredevil.
Risk-taker.
Foolhardy.
The harsh words floated in her mind as she paddled out. The water hit her face and she arched to get a better view. More surfers were turning away. Good.
Control.
Focus.
She used to enjoy being alone with her own ideas on the water. Not anymore as Kirk’s advice echoed in her thoughts and insisted on reminding her of his lessons.
Merge with the wave. Be one with it.
Now that was a suggestion of Kirk’s she agreed with.
A huge swell headed her way. She closed her eyes and felt the vibration of the ocean through her board. Tried to be one with the wave.
She opened her eyes to see a bomb wave. And right now that wave was telling her to back off.
She had less than a second to decide.
Gripping tightly to her rails, Drea forced her weight to the side, inverting her board and submerging her head.
Her board took the brute force of the wave, propelling and dragging her toward shore.
She’d turned turtle. But that was better than being slammed and eating it.
Drea maneuvered her board and paddled back toward shore. She’d wiped out. Lost this chance to prove her skills as a surfer and an opportunity to impress enough to get a sponsorship in time to get to the next competition.
Laci met her at the shore with Drea’s beach towel. “JC won.”
Tired and a little beaten from the water, Drea was surprised that she felt real happiness for her new friend rather than just total disappointment for herself. This would be huge for JC.
“I’m glad you bailed, Drea. That wasn’t safe.”
Drea smiled because she liked hearing the relief and true concern in Laci’s voice. “I think my daredevil days are over.”
“Maybe you can keep just a bit. We wouldn’t want you to completely change,” Laci said with a wink. “I’m going to go congratulate JC. You coming?”
“I will in a minute.” Right now Drea needed to be alone.
Nodding as if she understood her friend’s unspoken thought, Laci waved and walked toward the competition’s staging area.
Drea wrapped the towel tightly around her body like a cocoon and sank toward the sand.
“Hey, wahine.”
Her body shivered. She missed his voice so much. Great. Kirk’s appearance now just solidified her failure.
“I’m proud of you,” he said quietly.
“I didn’t win,” she acknowledged, blinking back tears.
He lowered himself beside her, stretching out his long legs. “You did in a way. You proved something out there.”
“How well I can turn turtle?”
“That you know when to back away from a wave, as well as when to take it on. That took guts and risk.”
Cheering erupted and she knew they would be awarding JC her medal soon. A good friend would be there cheering, too.
“I wanted to win. I want it so bad, you don’t know how much,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. Her throat prickled with the effort to hold back the tears.
“Not winning is part of being a pro. In fact, you’re going to lose far more often than you’ll ever win. You need to come to terms with that now.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever go pro. Not with my performance out there today.”
Kirk reached for Drea’s shoulders, the warmth of his fingers sinking into her skin. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’re still Rookie of the Year, and as of ten minutes ago, you shed the one thing that was holding sponsors back. Your bad reputation.”
Her back straightened. “I don’t think my reputation was that bad.”
His lips twisted into a smile. “Good. I much prefer outraged Drea over pity-party Drea.”
She met his eyes. “Kirk, thank you for coming over here. I know it must have been awkward for you, and I want you to know I appreciate it. But you don’t have to stay.”
He leaned forward, his gaze boring into hers. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”
She’d already cried in front of the man, bared her emotions, she might as well go for the trifecta and share her feelings about him. “No, it’s just hard for me with you being beside me.”
There. She’d done it. Showed emotion. Given him an inkling that he could hurt her. That’s why she’d never truly confronted him.
His gaze narrowed. “Why?” he asked, a strange urgency filling his voice.
“I mean, come on. What was I thinking? You don’t fall in love with a person in a couple of days.” Okay, maybe not that truthful with my feelings. She’d hide from analyzing that little gem, but she couldn’t. She’d just blurted out that she’d fallen in love with him.
“Yeah, you do.”
Drea’s breath hitched and she glanced up. Kirk caught her face in his hands, tracing her lower lip with his thumb.
“I did,” he said.
“You fell…” She couldn’t finish the sentence. She wanted him to say it. To finish it.
“I fell in love with you.”
Her heart pounded and she squeezed her eyes tight. Then she threw her arms around his neck. “Tell me again.”
“I love you, Andrea Powell. It was the most uncontrolled, un-focused, risk-taking thing I’ve ever done, but there you go. Some of you is rubbing off on me.”
She laughed.
“Why’d you stay away?”
He gazed out into the ocean. “At first I thought it was because you needed time. You were pretty mad and, let’s face it, everything I said and did seemed to be wrong.”
“Not everything,” she remarked, reaching up for a kiss.
“Then I understan
d it was because I needed some time to adjust. I’ve lived my entire surf life with the same exact principles. They worked and I thought they’d work for you, too.”
“Some of them did.”
“And some of them did for me, too. But not all of them, and I was coming to understand that. That’s why I’ve been so vague about my retirement. I wasn’t really ready. I just wanted the fun back. I want you back.”
“You have me.”
And he lowered his mouth to kiss her. The kind of I-love-you, never-want-to-let-you-go kiss that made her ache for the two of them to be alone.
“What now? What do we do from here?” she couldn’t help but ask.
He raised a brow. “What’s this? Are you planning? Focusing?”
“Maybe some of you is rubbing off on me.”
He took her hand, then stood, helping Drea to her feet. “Right now, we have someone to congratulate.”
Drea scanned the podium. “I’m happy for her. She needed this win, just like I need you.”
“And I need you.”
“What about after the ceremony?” Drea reached for her board.
“Still more planning, I see. We have a surf circuit to do together.”
“Together?” she asked, surprise lacing her voice. “So you’re really not retiring. What about your restaurant?”
“Da Kine will be waiting when I return. When we return. The sponsorship is yours even if you kick me to the curb.”
“That will never happen.” Joy and excitement raced through her. She couldn’t wait to start. Start her new life with Kirk right now. She strode toward the podium.
He grabbed her hands, his expression serious. With love shining from his eyes, he confessed, “You’ve given me something, Drea. Given me something back, actually. My love of surfing. I knew this morning that I’m looking forward to it again. I don’t care if I win, if I lose, if my style is off. I’m just ready to surf again because I enjoy it, and you’ll be right next to me.”
“Being one with the wave.”
Kirk draped his arm around her shoulders, and they began to walk down the beach together. “I knew you’d start seeing things my way.”
“Yeah, just as much as you’ve started seeing mine.”
