THE QUILTER’S SON
Liam’s Choice
WRITTEN BY
Samantha Jillian Bayarr
© 2012 by Samantha Jillian Bayarr
Cover/internal design © 2012 Livingston Hall Publishers
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form either written, photocopying, or electronically without the express permission of the author or publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and are therefore used fictitiously. Any similarity or resemblance to actual persons; living or dead, places or events is purely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or publisher.
All brand names or product names mentioned in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names, and are the sole ownership of their respective holders. Livingston Hall Publishers is not associated with any products or brands named in this book.
All scripture references in this book used from New International Version of the Bible
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Chapter 1
Goshen, Indiana
“Why did you hit me?” Liam worked his jaw back and forth, the sting of the slap causing his ear to ring. But more than that, she’d crushed his spirit with one blow.
Lucy doubled her fists and planted them on her hips. She knew she would later need to take a knee and beg forgiveness, but for now, she was content with her outburst. “Did it knock any sense into you? I can give it another try if it will change your mind.”
Furry showed in Lucy’s eyes, her face twisted in anger. But there was something else that showed in her eyes. Fear lay just below the surface where she tried very hard to hide it.
Liam felt caught between elation that she cared so much, grief over knowing how much he would miss her when he was gone, and irritation that she would defy the commitment of peace among the Amish.
“I’m not changing my mind. You can hit me a hundred times and it won’t make me stay here. I want to be on my own and explore the world. Ever since my daed died last month, it’s made me wonder if there was more to life than what we see in our secluded little corner of this community. I feel stifled here. Computers and cell phones interest me. And I’ve always wanted to learn how to build more than barns. I want to design houses, and to do that, I have to learn from outside construction companies. The only opportunity I have here is plowing the same fields my daed did his entire life. I want more out of life than that, and my daed knew that. When I die, I want my life to mean something.”
Lucy looked at him through the veil of tears that blurred her vision. “You really think your daed’s life amounted to nothing?”
“Mei daed knew I didn’t want to be a farmer. That’s why he let me go to the public school behind my mamm’s back. With only three weeks left of my senior year after he died, I continued to go so I could graduate because I’m more determined than ever to get out of this backward society.”
Lucy’s lips formed a grim line, and tears spilled from her eyes. “If you think being Amish is backward, then perhaps you’re correct in saying you don’t belong here. But at least have the decency to face your mamm instead of sneaking out the window this late at night.”
Liam kicked at the knapsack that rested against the large oak tree that stood beside the haus. It was almost too dark to see the expression on Lucy’s face, but what he saw of it, he didn’t like. “You didn’t complain any of those nights I snuck out the window to meet with you.”
“That’s because I thought you had intended to marry me. Now I find out you stole that first kiss from me that I was saving for my husband; I can never get that back.”
Liam braced his hands on her forearms. “Then come with me. We can still get married. We can get a little apartment and live in the city.”
Lucy broke from his grasp, her face curling with disgust. “I could never get married without my familye. And I won’t marry a mann who isn’t baptized.”
Liam picked up his knapsack and flung the weight of it over one shoulder. “Then I suppose we will be parting ways. If I take the baptism I will be destined to be just like my daed.”
Lucy sobbed. “Would that really be so bad? How do you think he would feel if he could see you now running away from your familye like a coward?”
Liam yanked the straw hat from his head and tossed it to the ground. “He isn’t here. My mamm and schweschder will be better off without me. As long as I don’t want to be here, my heart isn’t in it. So what’s the point in staying? So I can make them as miserable as I am? Besides, Lydia no longer talks to me, and mamm doesn’t talk to either of us. All she does is sit at her quilting frame and sew quilts. Neither of them will even notice I’m gone.”
Lucy sniffled, closing the space between them.
“Even if they don’t, I will.”
Liam backed away from her. If he kissed her now, he would never have the courage to leave. He didn’t want things to end between them; he loved her a great deal, but he guessed it wasn’t enough to make him want to stay. If he changed his mind it wouldn’t be because of the opinion or request of another person. He had to stay for himself, and that wasn’t how he felt. His desire to go was too strong to let anything or anyone get in his way—even if that meant he would have to break the heart of the woman he loved.
Lucy found it difficult to breathe. How could Liam do this to his familye—to her? Suddenly all the excuses he’d given her over the past few years regarding his busyness had made sense. He was too busy because he’d been leading a double life. Going to school all day and then working his chores around such a demanding schedule. Was he leaving her because he didn’t think she was smart enough for him? Did he want someone better than her?
“Will you at least give it some more thought? Have you even prayed about it?”
Liam looked away. He hadn’t prayed about it in the past month. He hadn’t reached out to Gott about much since his daed died. He didn’t want to hear the answer his heart was nudging him toward. He’d had his mind made up for some time, and now that he was eighteen, it was time.
Lucy nodded. “Your silence tells me you haven’t prayed. Since you are so determined to abandon your familye and your faith, will you at least tell me where you’re going so I can visit you?”
Liam paused. “Nee, it will be too far. I’m heading toward Michigan.”
He didn’t tell her that he was too nervous to go too far. Most likely, he would stay in Indiana and go to South Bend where his friends planned on renting a small house. He feared that if Lucy knew he would be living only a few miles away, she would constantly nag him about returning home.
Lucy lifted her chin in defiance. “If you’re determined to go, then don’t come back because I won’t be waiting for you.”
Her statement hurt worse than the slap she’d delivered across his face just a few moments earlier. Liam watched his future walk away from him, as he told himself a better future waited for him in the next town over. They’d both made their decision, and now they would have to live with it. Liam was confident he had his daed’s blessing to leave, and that was all that mattered at the moment.
Chapter 2
South Bend, Indiana
“I still look Amish,” Liam complained as he studied his appearance in the dressing room mirror.
“I’m going to need a haircut.”
He had chosen the clothing store in the mall, after his new roomm
ate, Steve, advised him that the store carried the latest styles. He liked the casual look of the sweatshirt and jeans, but his hair still gave him away. A quick stop at the barber shop would get rid of all traces of the Amish in him. But it couldn’t erase the pull he still felt in his heart. At eighteen, his biggest desire was to stay as far away from the Amish community as possible, and leave the pain of losing his daed behind him once and for all.
His mamm had no idea he’d been sneaking away to the public school for the past four years to get his diploma. His daed had helped him hide it from his mamm, but after the accident, his mamm was too consumed with grief to even notice Liam’s antics when he continued to go. His twin sister, Lydia, was too busy caring for the house and doing all the things their mamm used to do before the buggy accident that took their father’s life, so she hadn’t noticed either.
It was a tough time for everyone, and Liam was responsible for the upkeep of the farm. Spending all day in school and keeping up with his studies was difficult to do with a farm to maintain, but he’d been determined to leave home and start a new life for himself, leaving Lydia to take over in his absence.
He was now finished with his senior year and needed the diploma to get a job out in the real world, as he’d come to know it. His friends at school had guided him every step of the way, right down to teaching him how to drive a car and how to dress and act so he could hide his heritage from the outside world. The transition had not been an easy one, but it was what he felt he needed to do to stifle the grief he still held onto over his father’s death.
Liam’s refusal of the Bishop’s prompting to receive the baptism to seal his Amish roots had not gone over well with anyone. He felt guilty for leaving his mamm and schweschder, but he didn’t see his leaving would change things much. He’d been a coward and left his mamm a note letting her know he was leaving, but he didn’t think about how it would affect her. His being there had gone unnoticed when his family stopped functioning after his daed’s accident.
Liam determinedly put the memories behind him, unable to imagine the regret that would hound him over the next few years…
Chapter 3
Seven years later…
A summer breeze rustled the leaves on the trees in front of the shops that lined Main Street in Goshen. Being a typical July morning in Indiana, steamy mist rose from the dew-drenched patches of grass that lined the walkways as the sun warmed up the earth. Liam stood across the street behind a maple tree, hoping his mother and his sister would not notice him watching them. He knew the nature of the Amish was to walk with downcast eyes when in public because he’d spent the first eighteen years of his life doing the same, but he feared his mother would somehow sense his presence and look his way. Since he’d left home, he’d grown into a man—an Englischer. But that wouldn’t stop a mother from recognizing her own son, would it?
When his mother and sister entered the small quilt shop, he noticed his mother had used a key to open the door. He knew the insurance company of the driver of the car that had killed his father had presented his mother with a sizable settlement, and he wondered now if she’d finally used it to open the shop. Part of him wanted to go to her and ease the worry lines that creased her aging face, but too much time had passed. A reunion would only open old wounds. Since he hadn’t taken the baptism, his actions had not earned him a shunning, but that wouldn’t keep his family from turning a cold shoulder to him—something he felt he deserved.
Even if he were to approach them, he knew he couldn’t handle the pain of rejection from his own mother and sister. Shame crept into his heart for his act of betrayal toward his family and the community. He felt like a coward, and he had to admit that his life away from them had been empty and lonely. He’d thrown himself into his work, earning enough money working for others to start his own business. Now with seven men that counted on him, he felt the strain even more.
They’d only had a few big jobs so far this year, and if he didn’t bring in more work soon, his company would perish, along with all his hard work. But what had it all been for? To escape a community shunned by the outside world, only to trade it for being shunned by the people he loved most? Now, as he stood across the street watching his mother and sister enter The Quilter’s Square, Liam suddenly questioned the decision he’d made seven long years ago…
****
Nellie Yoder felt a breeze brush by her, and with it came the feeling she was being watched. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the Englischer again; he was standing across the street as if waiting for an invitation from her. She felt his presence, the same as if she were still carrying him in her womb. After all, a mother knows her own flesh and blood. She had managed to swallow the lump that formed in her throat and compose herself for the sake of the dochder who had not left her side during the years since her husband’s death. Nellie longed to hold her son and tell him how much he’d been missed, but only time would tell if such a dream could become reality.
She ushered Lydia into the quilt shop before the girl noticed her twin brother loitering across the street. What had she been thinking when she’d opened this shop? She knew that it needed repairs that she couldn’t fix on her own. She’d known about Liam’s business for several months, and thought it would give her the opportunity to bring her son home where he belonged. Her plan was to hire him to do the renovations, hoping it would draw him back to his familye and the community.
Now, as she saw him for the third day in a row, Nellie suddenly wondered if she should have thought things through a little more clearly. After all these years of letting her husband’s settlement sit idle, she wondered if using it to get her son back was the wisest thing she could have done. She feared that because so much time had passed, he would be more resistant to returning to the community. But after seeing him watching her again this morning, she was convinced she’d made the right move. She knew she would have to proceed with caution, so as not to upset Lydia or spook Liam. She didn’t want him to run from her, but so far, he’d not approached her either. She sighed deeply as she watched him walk away, knowing it was too late to abandon her plan now. The first step had already been taken.
Chapter 4
Lydia tried not to alert her mamm, who hadn’t seemed to notice her own son standing across the street watching them for the third day this week. The urge to talk to her estranged twin outweighed any fear of getting her heart broken again if he should turn his back on them all over again. Her heart ached to run to him and talk to him like they hadn’t since they were mere children on the farm—before the tragedy that tore their familye apart, and before Liam left them to fend for themselves.
Lydia felt a mixture of anger and love for her bruder, if that was possible. She knew that approaching him would put her and her mamm at risk of being reprimanded by the Bishop, but she wasn’t sure she cared at this point. Too much time had been lost, and too much suffering had consumed their familye already.
Guilt crept back into her heart as she momentarily replayed the day her bruder left them. For years, she’d wondered if her harsh words had pushed Liam further into his decision to leave. She’d discovered he’d been attending the public school, and had scolded him for thinking only of himself. That day he’d asked her to attend his high school graduation, and she’d refused. She’d accused him of being selfish and had told him to leave. She hadn’t meant it, and she’d regretted those words ever since that day.
Even now, no matter how much her love for her bruder tugged at Lydia’s heart, logic reminded her how difficult life would be for her mamm if she were to get her hopes up regarding her son’s return to the community—especially if he rejected them again. Lydia had been the one who’d stayed, but she hadn’t taken the baptism. She’d remained with their mamm all these years and shouldered the responsibility on her own.
For weeks after Liam ran off, Lydia had waited for him to return, hoping that he would get a taste of the outside world but that it would be so difficult he would return home
. When weeks turned to months, and months turned to years, hope for such a miracle had nearly dwindled to nothing—until three days ago.
****
Lucy Graber watched out the bay window of her bakery front as she stacked cookies and pastries in the display case under the counter that ran the length of the store. For three days now, she’d watched the handsome stranger linger across the street in the early morning hours.
There was a familiarity about him that she couldn’t quite push aside. She had all but convinced herself that the Englischer was Liam Yoder, but she didn’t dare hope for such a foolish thing. She had given up hope of his return too many years ago to count. Before his daed died, the two of them had been seeing one another secretly, and even though their love was still fairly new, Lucy had been convinced she would marry him one day. Within days after the tragedy struck his familye, Liam began to pull away from Lucy. They’d shared their first and last kiss in the early morning hours before the accident that had taken the life of Liam’s daed. Lucy had felt Liam’s promise in that kiss—a promise that would never come to pass.
****
Liam hung his head as he walked down the street toward his work truck. He hadn’t realized just how much his heart ached from the separation from his family until seeing them again. But he felt too much shame to approach them. He was supposed to go into town with his father the morning of the accident. Instead, he’d been out too late with Lucy, and had fallen asleep in the barn after chores. He vaguely remembered his dad finding him in the hayloft and telling him to stay put, that he would run the errands in town alone. He’d never been able to shake the guilt of allowing his dad to go without him. Guilt had overcome Liam knowing that if only he’d been with his father, he could have done something to save his life that morning. His lack of responsibility that day had destroyed his family and cost him a future with Lucy.
The Quilter's Son: Book One: Liam's choice (An Amish Christian Romance) Page 1
