by Lori Ryan
Kelly was married to Jack Sutton, the Chief Executive Officer at Sutton Capital, where Jennie worked. Jill had just married Andrew Weston. Andrew was Jack’s best friend and the Chief Financial Officer at Sutton. They were a tight-knit group of friends who worked closely together and saw one another almost every weekend without fail. Jennie had a feeling that would change now that Jack and Kelly were having a baby and Jill and Andrew had just married. It hurt to think that her life might be changing once again as her friends moved on to a life that couldn’t include her in the same way.
Sure, she’d no doubt be Auntie Jen to all their children, but it wouldn’t be the same as having her own family and having kids alongside her best friends. Jill broke through Jennie’s thoughts.
“Hey, I keep forgetting to ask you. Where did you go on your last assignment? Anywhere fun and exciting?” Jill asked. She and Andrew had taken care of Jennie’s dog, Zeke, a few weeks ago when Jennie was traveling for Sutton.
Jennie made a face. “To a biotech company in Wisconsin. The people were really nice but there wasn’t a whole lot to do. They were in the middle of nowhere.”
Jennie was sure she had one of the most unusual jobs on the planet. Sutton Capital was a venture capital firm that invested in startup companies and in companies looking to expand or to develop new technologies. Although Jennie had started out as a temporary assistant, she now worked in the security and investigations division. She’d always thought Jack was crazy for promoting her, but Jack didn’t operate like a conventional CEO, and Jennie wasn’t about to question his decision. She loved it more than she’d ever loved any job. Jennie had floated from one temporary job to another after college, finding most of them dull and unchallenging. Her work at Sutton Capital was anything but dull. It just fit her, somehow.
When Jennie wasn’t out of the office on assignment, she worked as a floating assistant helping anyone around the company that needed her. When on assignment, she was sent into a company that was trying to get funding from Sutton. Jennie would typically go in with someone from finance or occasionally someone from legal who was doing due diligence and she’d serve as their assistant, but in reality, she had a dual purpose.
Jennie was tasked with quickly befriending people and getting them to talk to her. She usually acted like an airhead when she was on assignment, babbling on and on and laughing just a little too much at things. It actually reminded her of her days in drama club in high school. She’d played Audrey her senior year in Little Shop of Horrors and she always drew from the ditsy portrayal when she went into a new assignment for Sutton.
When she entered that persona, people just opened right up to her. Then, it was just a matter of keeping her ears open for any information that might help Jack make decisions about the potential investment. Sometimes support staff she befriended would tell her juicy bits of gossip that might contain nuggets of information. Other times, executives in the company talked freely in front of her, assuming she was either too dumb to understand what they were talking about or too flighty to pay attention.
Jennie would never forget the time the two principals in a company sat in front of her and talked about the fact that they had doctored some numbers they had given Jack – as if she weren’t even in the room. She just sat there collating papers at the conference table, keeping her head down while they met over lunch and spilled the whole story. She would have been offended at the way the two men dismissed her so completely, if she hadn’t known how valuable the information she gathered would be. That information ended up saving Jack and his investors a lot of money.
“Never mind that, did you find out anything juicy?” Kelly asked. Jill and Kelly loved hearing the things Jennie discovered during her assignments.
“No. Well, other than the fact that two of the researchers like to play doctor after hours in the lab together.” Jennie shivered and laughed. “It wasn’t something I ever need to see again.”
Kelly and Jill laughed. “It couldn’t have been that bad!” Jill said.
“Oh, but it was. They were not attractive people, to say the least, and I got a real eyeful! I had to go back to my hotel room and scrub my eyes with a Brillo Pad.”
The three women laughed as the waitress brought their meals and then they dug into chips and sandwiches.
“I told Chad I want combat pay for that assignment, but he told me to take it up with Jack, so you need to back me on it, Kels.” Jennie grinned at her friends as they just laughed harder at her.
As they finished up their lunches, Jennie looked at her two best friends and silently hoped they’d be able to stay as close as they were today despite the changes that were coming. Her friends were moving toward a life that she’d already lost. Jennie’s happily-ever-after had ended years ago.
Chapter Two
Chad suppressed a grin as he watched Jennie. At the moment, Jennie and Chad were in the pool at Kelly and Jack’s house, where everyone had gathered for one last party before the baby arrived. Chad stood on one side of a volleyball net and Jennie stood on the other. Somewhere along the way, he’d forgotten what Jennie was arguing about, but he didn’t care. Chad loved to see her fiery eyes sparkle as she fisted small hands on her hips and lit into him. She barely reached his chest, but she should get points for trying. Jennie tossed her head, flinging her strawberry-blond curls out behind her and kept right on going.
Chad loved this side of Jennie. She was bold and brash and confident. She was feisty and fun loving and nothing seemed to frighten her. Not many women Jennie’s size – a mere 5’4” and 115 pounds – would try the irreverent things she did with Chad. At 6’4” and about 265 pounds of pure muscle, there weren’t many people who treated Chad the way Jennie did. Jennie taunted and teased Chad at every turn, as if she were two or three feet taller than him.
Chad knew why she did it. They both felt the wild attraction that sizzled between them and they both worked hard to control it. With so many mutual friends, coupled with the fact that they worked together all day during the week, they couldn’t avoid seeing one another. So Jennie seemed to deal with things by throwing her saucy, cheeky attitude at him all the time. It was almost as if she tried to keep their interactions superficial, never going deeper than the surface. If she was busy yelling at him or taunting him, there wasn’t any room for anything else.
Chad dealt with the attraction by staying in complete and utter control at all times around Jennie. He didn’t allow himself to dwell on the curve of her tiny waist or the swell of her breasts in the bikini she wore as she fought with him now. He focused on her eyes, ignoring her body. Then, he’d spend about five minutes telling himself that her eyes were nothing special. He’d tell himself her eyes weren’t warm and rich like melted caramel. That her eyes didn’t have a mysterious quality to them as if she held a world of secrets waiting for him to explore.
Shit. So much for control.
Chad wondered if Jennie would keep up her tirade if she knew just how sexy she was when she was angry. Or if she’d keep up the nicknames if she knew just how much he liked to see what she’d call him next. Would it be ‘Tank’ today or ‘Little Bit?’
Jennie cupped her hand and splashed water across the net at Chad, pulling him from his thoughts.
Yeah, so much for maintaining control.
“Are you even listening to me, Chad?”
Chad’s grin broke through as he shook his head, willing it to clear. “Sorry, Jen. I tuned out five minutes ago.”
Chad knew that would really get her going and he’d get to watch her fume for a while longer. He loved the way her eyes sparked when she was angry and the way she pursed her lips and balled her fists at him. He could watch Jennie storm at him forever and not get tired of it.
***
As the day wound down, Jennie wandered away from the pool and sat in one of the teak chairs that faced the back lawn of Jack and Kelly’s house on Long Island Sound in Connecticut. The sprawling house had become one of the main gathering places for their grou
p in the summer. With a yard that sloped down to a small private beach and a pool with outdoor kitchen, it was perfect for barbeques and parties.
A welcome cool breeze brushed gently over Jennie’s bare arms. She curled her feet under her on the chaise lounge and listened to the noises of the party, letting them engulf her. The sounds of her friends laughing and talking soothed her.
Her black lab, Zeke, had given up playing with Zoe, Jack and Kelly’s mixed breed puppy they had rescued from the shelter, and Jill’s labradoodle, Rev. Zeke now lay below Jennie, snoring loudly, but she was sure he kept one eye open for any opportunity to grab dropped food. The six-year-old dog gave new meaning to the term ‘chowhound.’
Jennie’s eyes landed on Jill and Andrew walking hand in hand toward the beach. She smiled as she watched Jill lean into Andrew, who said something that brought out a laugh. After heartache neither one of them deserved, they had finally found each other. They’d been married in the spring and had just moved into a new home in New Haven. Jennie knew they were both eager to have children and Jill had mentioned that they wanted to start trying for a baby right away. Jennie was happy for the new couple.
Today’s party was Kelly and Jack’s last chance to host a get together before their first baby came. Kelly was due in just three weeks, and even though she looked exhausted as she sat with Jack’s arms around her, she looked happier than Jennie had ever seen her. And that made Jennie happy.
Jennie’s eyes slipped over to Chad, who stood on the opposite side of the pool, beer in hand as he talked to friends. Jennie felt the familiar quickening of her breath that always happened when she looked at him. Her eyes roamed over his strong chest and muscled arms, the broad shoulders of his imposing frame.
His dark looks – even with the smattering of scars that etched his skin from his time overseas – rivaled those of the biggest and brightest stars of Hollywood. In spite of that, there wasn’t an arrogant bone in Chad’s body. This, of course, made him all the more attractive.
The man was stunningly handsome, unquestionably kind and gentle, and he sent the bones in Jennie’s body into a puddle on the floor when he glanced her way. She didn’t want to be attracted to him. But, Jennie found she couldn’t ignore his effect on her no matter how she tried. And that, unfortunately, tore at her heart. Jennie wished with all her being that Chad Thompson didn’t have such a powerful effect on her.
When Jennie had first met Chad, she tried to find his faults. If she could get herself to see him as an arrogant jerk, she might be able to ignore the physical attraction she felt for him. It would certainly make it easier to resist him, anyway. At first, Jennie thought he was just what she hoped for: a superficial jerk with no substance other than good looks and charm. Since Chad was born into the Sutton Capital family, he could have sat back and reaped the benefits of the family business without actually doing any work. Chad only worked until three o’clock many days, making Jennie assume he was living off of trust fund money and not really contributing at all. That made it easier to resist the outward allure.
Sadly, her first impressions didn’t last and Jennie soon had to admit that Chad was just as attractive a person on the inside as he was on the outside. It turned out that Chad left work early to volunteer at a nearby veteran’s hospital. And the more Jennie got to know Chad, the more apparent it became that he was anything but a selfish, spoiled trust fund brat. That certainly didn’t make it easier for Jennie to resist him. But, she knew in her heart, she didn’t want a relationship with him or anyone else. She didn’t want the chemistry between them to exist.
“Hey, sweetie,” Kelly said as she lowered herself into the chair next to Jennie. With her baby due in a few weeks, she wasn’t moving very gracefully. “I swear, this baby has an elbow in my lung right now. She somehow gets up under my ribs and digs in and won’t let go. How’re you holding up?”
Jennie had been in her own little world and hadn’t seen Kelly come up to her until she spoke. She pulled herself away from her thoughts and gave Kelly a smile.
“I’m good. You must be worn out, though,” Jennie said. Jennie sipped the last bit of lemonade from her glass before setting it on the table next to her. “Oh, Jeez, Zeke. Cut that out!” Jennie shooed Zeke down off the table where he’d been busy stealing the remnants of a hotdog off someone’s plate. Jennie hadn’t even seen him get up.
Kelly laughed at Zeke as he swallowed down the hotdog in one bite, not looking the least bit chagrinned at being caught stealing food. Her face quickly turned back to Jennie, though, and Jennie could see the concern in Kelly’s expression.
“I forget sometimes, you know. Until days like this and then it hits me that this probably hurts like hell for you.” Kelly reached out and held Jennie’s hand, squeezing. Her voice was lowered now, maintaining the private nature of the topic she’d just broached.
Jennie shrugged and plastered her standard smile on her face. This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have. “It is what it is. I can’t change it so why dwell?”
Jennie had a feeling her friend didn’t buy her act and if Kelly was thinking Jennie’s smile was just for show, she was right. Some days, it was all an act. But, for the most part, she’d found happiness with her friends and her life at Sutton Capital. They were really good friends she treasured. And, she loved her work. After feeling like she was floating around untethered, with no real goals for years, she finally had a job she loved. Good friends and a good job. That was all Jennie could hope for now.
Kelly reached over and put her hand on her friend’s arm. “I’m sorry, honey. I wish things were different. It isn’t fair.”
Jennie just nodded and swallowed. Hard. Her chest tightened and she willed away the lump caught in her throat and the tears that threatened to fall. Four years later and she still had a hard time talking about it. She and her husband, Kyle, had been more than just high school sweethearts. They grew up next door to each other, were best friends through junior high, began to date in high school, and managed to keep their relationship strong through four years of college.
The year they graduated from college, they were married. By the following year, Kyle was gone – he’d lost his fight with cancer a few short months after his diagnosis and just two days after their first anniversary. Jennie still hated vanilla cupcakes – the memory of the vanilla cupcake her mother-in-law had brought Jennie and Kyle in the hospital for their anniversary was too strong and painful.
Jennie and Kelly hadn’t been friends until two years ago and it had been awhile before Jennie told Kelly about her husband. The rest of the group had no idea Jennie had ever been married.
“No, really. I’m okay. Honestly, it’s harder sometimes with my friends who knew Kyle and me. They never forget. Kyle was like a part of my identity with them. With you, I get to forget. Or, at least pretend for a while. But, I’m good. I’m happy for you guys. For all of you.” Jennie looked out over the lawn at Andrew and Jill and at Jesse and Zach, then glanced to where Jack watched Kelly as only a man waiting for the arrival of his first child does. His look seemed to encompass so many emotions: everything from sheer joy to excitement to fear of the unknown.
Kelly didn’t say anything else. There wasn’t really anything left to say. The two friends sat quietly as Kelly’s kick-off-to-motherhood party wound down.
***
Chad watched his mother as she walked around the pool and approached him. He and his mother had a tumultuous relationship for several years when she’d been so angry over his father leaving her, she’d lashed out at all of the people around her. Oddly enough, Kelly’s marriage to Jack had helped her get over that and Chad was glad to have his mom back to her old self – overbearing and pushy, but now full of love instead of hate and spite.
Chad looked down at the grill in Jack’s outdoor kitchen as he scrubbed at it with a wire brush. The party had dwindled to close friends and family and the cleanup had begun.
Mabry Thompson sidled up to her son and sipped her wine as she looked ou
t over the few remaining family members and friends. She ran a hand up and down his back as if he were still five years old and she could soothe him that way.
“Is it hard to watch Jack and Andrew building their own families?”
Chad knew his mother left off the part of the question she really wanted to ask. She wanted to ask if it bothered him to be left behind as his best friend and cousin built their families.
He shrugged a shoulder at her. “It’s not like they’re leaving me, Mom. We still work together, hang out together, see each other everyday.”
Chad cringed as he felt his eyes travel to Jennie before he could school himself.
He’d been out of the military for too long. His guard was slipping. Damn. I should know better.
Mabry didn’t miss the glance and she didn’t bother to pull punches with her son. “Do you ever wonder if you do it on purpose, Chad?”
Now Chad’s gaze shot to his mother. His hand stilled for a minute as he studied her. “Do what on purpose?”
“Choose women you can’t have. It’s safer that way. You can’t ever be happy if you continue to make the choices you do. Do you wonder sometimes if you’re sabotaging yourself on purpose? If you’ve made sure you haven’t found love and happiness and a family because if you do that, you’ll really have to deal with the guilt of coming home safe? Of being here when others aren’t?”
Chad stopped cleaning the grill and looked down at his mother. How this woman who was 5’ 2” had given birth to large man like him remained a mystery. “Clearly you do. What makes you think I would do that – sabotage my own happiness, Mom?”
Mabry looked at her son for a long time. Long enough to irritate the tar out of him, but didn’t let her see that. He met her stare and waited, not speaking. Not squirming under her gaze.
