by Lori Ryan
Jennie felt Chad’s eyes on her and then the walls seemed to be closing in as if the room was filled with too many people. Oh, who was she kidding? It was Chad’s presence that made the walls close in on her. Jennie suddenly felt like she’d never be able to take a deep breath again. She hated that her body responded so strongly to him – even more so, since their one night in Florida. It was as if her body now knew what it could have and it wasn’t willing to let go, even though Jennie ordered it to forget.
“I’m going to get going, guys. Kelly, I’ll stop by tomorrow. They’ll keep you here for two days, right? I can bring lunch tomorrow if you want,” Jennie said as she scooped up her purse and moved to the door.
“Oh, you don’t have to go. You just got here,” Kelly said.
Jennie smiled and shook her head. “I’ll be back. I’ll come hold her while you nap tomorrow. Promise. I’ve got some errands to run now, though.”
They said good-byes and Jennie slipped from the room, finally taking a deep breath as she started down the hall.
“Jen!” Chad called from behind her.
Damn.
Jennie turned to find Chad coming toward her, hands shoved in his pockets.
“Hey,” she said, smiling at him, but feeling like she couldn’t breathe again.
He towered over her and she could see the concern in his eyes. “Are we okay, Jennie? Can we go back to the way things were between us? Before?”
He didn’t have to clarify what he meant by ‘before.’ She knew perfectly well what he was asking about.
Jennie nodded. She didn’t trust herself to speak but he still watched her intently and she knew he wanted her confirmation. And, the truth was, Jennie didn’t want to lose Chad. Their time in Florida before ‘that night’ had brought them a lot closer than they used to be. They’d talked about so many things and spent more time with each other than she ever thought they would.
“We’re good. It’s okay, Chad,” Jennie said. She put on her brightest smile and ordered her nipples to stand down. “We really are okay, Chad, I promise.”
He smiled. “Okay. See you at work then, Jen.”
Jennie turned and walked down the hall, hoping she was right. She didn’t want to lose a friend she’d only begun to truly know.
***
Assistant United States Attorney, Caroline Waters, steered her sedan down the dirt driveway that served as the entrance to the abandoned building site. The location should have been an enormous mall by now, but the owner had run out of funds and the project was on hold. The lot was sufficiently isolated to serve Caroline’s needs today.
She spotted Bandon waiting for her in his truck and pulled alongside him. She didn’t plan to get out of the car for this talk. She hated coming to the filthy job sites he was used to and, in fact, she hated dealing with Bandon at all. She found him tactless and rude and he certainly didn’t go to any lengths to hide the slimy, appreciative looks he gave her body whenever they met. It made her skin crawl, but he was a necessary evil at this point in her life.
When Caroline discovered just how hard it really was to pay off her law school debt on fifty thousand dollars a year, she decided there were two options. Go to work as a defense attorney instead of a prosecutor or pick and choose the crimes she really cared about prosecuting. When she found a crime she didn’t feel truly needed to be prosecuted, she offered the accused a chance to pay their way out of trouble. Then it was simply a matter of telling her boss the case they had wouldn’t stick, there had been errors in the collection of evidence that would damage the case – or she’d come up with any number of other excuses. On a few occasions, she’d had to go a little further and arrange for evidence to disappear so no one would begin to see a pattern in her ‘dropped’ cases and suspect her.
Rick Bandon was a necessary evil in cleaning her funds for her. Things were getting to the point where she was going to need to buy shares in his little marina company to keep everything looking above board, but with this recent complication, she was relieved her name wasn’t on any of the books yet.
Bandon rolled down his window. “To what do I owe this unexpected visit, Caroline? Not that I’m not always happy to get a call from you, but I hadn’t expected to see you again until next month.”
Caroline suppressed a shudder at the leer on Bandon’s face. “We have a problem. The FBI has opened an investigation into Florifish. Those brothers you swore to me were so malleable and loyal are now feeding information to the FBI about your little endeavor.”
She saw the swagger drain from Bandon’s body as he slumped in his truck, absorbing the shock of the news.
“Luckily for you, I was assigned to the case. They haven’t brought in any information to implicate anyone other than you yet and I expect you to keep it that way,” Caroline said.
“Well, where the hell will that leave me? Don’t think I’ll let you leave me hanging out to dry on this one, Ms. Big Wig Attorney. If I go down for this, I’ll take you down, too,” Bandon sneered.
Caroline held out a hand to stop him. She’d already thought this through. She knew perfectly well Bandon would turn against her if he were arrested for money laundering and she wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out he had some kind of document or tape or something to hold over her head if push came to shove.
“I’ll take care of the investigation, but you need to take care of those Masters brothers. They can’t make their next meeting with their handler. There was, apparently, one other witness. I’ll get her name and location for you as soon as I can. In the meantime, I suggest you keep that business running as a legitimate business and put all your other activities on hold for now. We need to do damage control.”
Bandon stared at her for a few minutes.
She’d always suspected he was a sick bastard who wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and she was right. He voice was cold and unfeeling when he spoke. “I’ll take care of the brothers. You get working on that other witness,” he said with a curt nod before he drove away.
Chapter Nineteen
For weeks, Chad and Jennie were a little stiff and awkward around one another, but it gradually began to go away. They fell back into the swing of things, with Jennie being a wise ass and Chad laughing at her like he used to. Since Chad wasn’t willing to lose her as a friend, it was the way things had to be. There wasn’t any getting around it.
Thanks to Mrs. Poole, Jack and Kelly were back to hosting get-togethers at their house on a regular basis despite the fact that they had a three-week-old baby.
Chad stepped out onto the porch and couldn’t hold back his smile. His tough cousin, a man who ran a Fortune 500 company and often had grown men trembling in their boardroom chairs, was cooing and babbling like an idiot for his tiny baby girl.
Before Chad could even scan the rest of the group to see who was there, his eyes went to Jennie. She stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed and shook his head before grabbing a beer and joining her. She stood talking to their friend Gabe Sawyer. Gabe owned a string of hotels across the country and in several other countries as well. Andrew and Jill walked up to join them at the same time Chad did.
Chad had no idea he could have so many warring emotions at once. He was relieved he and Jennie seemed to be back to being friends, even though he wanted a lot more than that. He was turned on beyond belief at the sight of her in the peach-colored sundress she wore, with her hair pulled up off her shoulders.
Shoulders he wanted to touch and kiss and taste.
And he was fighting an internal rage at the fact that Gabe was standing there talking to his Jennie. No way in hell was he letting Gabe, a notorious womanizer, get anywhere near Jennie. The man traveled around the world, living in his hotels, entertaining different women every night.
Chad probably stood a little closer to Jennie than he should have, but he didn’t want Gabe getting any ideas about chasing after her.
Jennie cocked her head at him with that saucy little smile of hers as if to silently ask what h
e was doing. Chad let his eyes slide to Gabe for a split second but he saw Jennie pick up on his silent communication.
“Really, Big Man? Really?” she asked and laughed.
“Wow. You two go away for two weeks and you’re suddenly telepathic. You just had a whole conversation without us, didn’t you?” Andrew asked
Chad and Jennie laughed. Andrew and Jack had cornered Chad after Florida, but he’d lied flat out to them. Told them nothing happened. The look on Andrew’s face right now said he wasn’t buying Chad’s lie. Time to redirect.
“Yeah. Jennie told me to do this,” Chad said as he tossed Andrew into the pool with his clothes on.
Andrew managed to grab onto Chad’s arm as he went into the water. Chad was struggling to right his balance on the edge of the pool when he felt two hands he recognized on his back. The little vixen pushed him right in behind Andrew. Well, that took care of any unwanted attention on Jennie. The whole group gathered around to laugh at Chad and Andrew as they wrestled in the pool. It had been too damn long since they’d done anything like this, Chad thought, as he shoved Andrew’s head under the water again.
He was grinning like an idiot when Andrew grabbed his legs under the water, pulling him down and causing him to swallow a hell of a lot of pool water.
He didn’t care. He was feeling better than he had since he and Jennie had returned from Florida. It felt good to be around his friends again, including Jennie. He would always want her. Always ache for her in a way that she clearly wouldn’t ever ache for him. But, at least they could be around each other without being insanely uncomfortable.
***
Jennie laughed as she watched Chad go under and come up with a mouthful of water. Of course her mind flashed to their time in Florida but she pushed those thoughts away.
Jennie knew she couldn’t love Chad. Her heart belonged to Kyle. And, honestly, she really valued her friendship with Chad. She wanted to keep that. If she gave in to what her body wanted again, she’d lose Chad for good and hurt him in the process. That wasn’t something she was willing to do. From now on, she needed to stay in control of her body’s response to him, no matter how strong the attraction was.
Jennie turned away and took little Maddy in her arms. Losing herself in the baby’s little coos and tiny smiles that were more likely caused by gas than genuine emotion, was just what Jennie needed.
Chapter Twenty
A month later, Jennie stared blankly at the screen on her computer. She wasn’t actually seeing anything. She focused only on the mind-numbing reality of her situation as she blinked back tears. She was still in a state of shock.
Pregnant.
When she discovered last week that she had come home from Florida pregnant, she wanted to do nothing more than curl up in a ball and will it all away. Not the baby. But the last four years. And the way she felt about what she’d done. She knew she had hurt Chad even though he tried to pretend she hadn’t. And, she’d betrayed Kyle in the worst way possible.
Jennie had wanted to have Kyle’s baby so incredibly desperately when he was alive. She had hoped for a baby with his sandy-blond hair and warm blue eyes. She’d wanted a baby that had Kyle’s smile and the dimple that came out when he really grinned.
Jennie watched Kelly and Jack welcome Maddy into the world. She’d held her often and saw how quickly she was growing and changing – all in only two months. And seeing that was much harder than Jennie wanted to admit.
She knew she needed to tell Chad about the baby, but how could she do that? Saying it out loud would make it real. If she said it out loud, she’d have to really face it. She didn’t even have the guts to tell Kelly yet. Right now, Zeke was the only one who knew her secret. He spent every moment shadowing her as if he knew something had changed and she’d spent several hours crying with her head buried in his soft fur.
Add in the fact that she was so exhausted she could barely function and she’d begun to cry at the drop of a hat, and Jennie was officially an absolute basket case. A basket case with a baby she wanted, yet didn’t want. With a friend who would be a wonderful father to her baby. If only she wanted him to be. Which she didn’t.
Jennie lost the fight with the tears in that moment and had to make a dash for the bathroom. How could she hurt Chad this way? What would she tell her parents? Kyle’s parents? How would she take care of a baby on her own when she was an emotional disaster?
This can’t be happening.
But Jennie knew it was happening. She just didn’t know what to do about it.
Taking a few deep breaths, she went back to her desk and tried to focus as if her world wasn’t falling down around her. Again.
***
Chad sat at his desk and looked out the window but his eyes weren’t seeing anything. As he had so many times in the past two months, he let his mind travel back to Florida, reliving every minute of his time with Jennie. He tortured himself again and again, recalling the way she’d felt in his arms. How it felt to be able to reach over and hold her hand or pull her into his arms as they pretended to be newlyweds. How it felt to make her fall apart in his hands, with his mouth and when he’d finally fulfilled every fantasy, sinking deep into Jennie’s sweet depths.
He even relived the moment on the plane ride home when she’d looked at him with those beautiful, guileless eyes and told him she was sorry she couldn’t give him what he wanted. He’d told her it was okay. That he’d always be there for her and love her as a friend, no matter what. And, he’d meant it. He would always be there for Jennie. But, he knew the price he was going to pay for that.
It was tearing him to pieces, seeing her day in and day out at work. Seeing her on the weekends when they got together with friends. Watching her hold Jack and Kelly’s baby girl. Fantasizing about her having his baby someday. About building a family with her. About things that would never come to be.
Chad spun in his chair and let his gaze fall on Jennie where she sat at her desk. She looked exhausted as he watched her in front of her computer. Chad had the strongest urge to walk over and pull her into his arms. To carry her home and tuck her into bed.
Those thoughts were interrupted by his phone.
“Yeah,” Chad answered, pulling his eyes off Jennie.
“Chad, it’s Jack.”
Chad laughed. “You couldn’t walk down the hall to talk to me? You had to call me?”
“Wise ass. I’m not in the building. I’m on my way to meet with the investors for the Paulsen project again. They need a little hand holding.”
Chad grunted. He was glad Jack got to deal with the investors, not him.
“I’m just calling to let you know I heard from Jonathan Masters. The FBI did exactly what you predicted. They sent the Masters brothers back in to gather info. They said they’d only cut them a deal if they collected enough information to indict the rest of the officials in the money laundering scheme,” Jack said.
“Okay. Let’s hope that means Jennie doesn’t need to testify at all, or at least not for a long time,” Chad said.
“I hope you’re right about that, too. I’ll see you this weekend at Jill and Andrew’s, right?” Jack asked.
“Sure, I’ll be there,” Chad said, knowing it probably meant he’d see Jennie, too. He was beginning to dread seeing her at work and every weekend. Seeing Jennie hurt like hell.
Chad crossed to his door and stuck his head out.
“Jennie? Can I talk to you?” Chad called out across the room.
As he watched her approach, he couldn’t help but notice how shaky she looked. Something wasn’t right with Jennie. Chad was positive. Only he didn’t know what it was or why she wasn’t telling him.
They’d been fine for the last month. Sure, the tension that surrounded them was still there, but Chad knew it always would be. But in the last week or two something had changed. Jennie wasn’t herself.
“Shut the door,” he said quietly when she walked in.
Jennie shut the door and sat in one of the chairs in fro
nt of Chad’s desk. Instead of going around to the chair behind his desk, he sat beside her in the second guest chair. He studied her face but all he could see was exhaustion.
“You feel okay, Jennie? You look pretty pale.”
“Mmm hmm.” Jennie nodded. “I think I’ve caught a little bug, but I’m okay. Just a little drained.”
Chad didn’t let up his stare as he assessed her. She was more than a little drained. Finally, he spoke.
“I wanted to fill you in on the investigation in Florida, but I want you to go home and rest after that. We don’t need you for the rest of the day.”
“I’m okay, Chad. I don’t need to go home,” Jennie said.
“Yeah, you do. You look like hell. I want you to go home.”
Jennie nodded and Chad continued. The fact that she didn’t fight him too hard or have a wise-ass response told him how crappy she was feeling.
“It looks like you’re off the hook for giving an official statement for the moment, but I think they’ll ask for one sooner or later. For now, the FBI has sent the Masters brothers back in to gather evidence for them. Apparently, Rick Bandon has been on their radar for some time, but they’ve never been able to build a case. They had a guy come forward once after Bandon tried to extort money to make some problems on the guy’s building site disappear, but the guy died in a suspicious accident a week later. I’m hoping you won’t have to make a statement on the record yet, but I won’t take any chances with you if it does come to that.” Chad glanced to the door but then continued, leaning toward Jennie. “If it gets to that point, I want you to come stay at my place and let me protect you until you testify.”
“Chad. No. I can’t do that. You said yourself, it could take years for this to come to trial. I can’t move in with you for years.”
Chad almost had to laugh at the fear that crossed Jennie’s face and stayed there at the idea of living with him. He probably would have laughed if it wasn’t so damn sad. If his life hadn’t become such a laughable joke. He loved a woman who couldn’t possibly love him back and he’d managed to put her in danger. She wanted so little to do with him that she wouldn’t even let him protect her.
