by Rona Arato
“Oscar.” Paul tugged at his sleeve. “I need a toilet.”
Oscar looked at his mother. “I’ll take him, Anyu.”
“Thank you.” She gave him a tired smile.
The boys threaded their way through the crowded yard. A guard stopped them and then pointed to a spot against a brick wall where several other boys were relieving themselves. Some were standing; others squatting. One boy stuck out his tongue.
“Just ignore them,” Oscar told Paul.
When they were finished, they rejoined their mother.
Oscar looked through the fence. An old woman pushed a cart filled with freshly baked bread. The delicious aroma made his mouth water. Behind her, a boy led a mooing cow. A young girl passed by, a water bucket in each hand. Why are they so unconcerned? Don’t they know what’s happening to us? He thought of Tibor, pretending not to see him and then calling him a “dirty Jew.” How could a person change so fast?
Aunt Bella followed Oscar’s gaze. “What are you thinking?”
“They are scared to look at us. They are afraid of the soldiers,” said Oscar. “I hate them.” He spat out the words. “I hate them all.”
A blast of the train’s whistle brought them to attention. The gendarmes started rounding up people and pushing them toward the boxcars.
“Stay still,” their mother instructed. “Don’t make them notice us.”
“Where are they taking us?” asked a woman nearby.
“Maybe they will take us to Budapest,” answered a second woman in a shaky voice.
“No. They are taking us east,” answered a man.
“Don’t say that,” snapped the first woman.
“Why does going east frighten everyone?” Oscar asked her.
“Because that’s where the concentration camps are—no one ever comes back from those camps.”
“What kind of camps?” Oscar turned to his mother.
“Camps where they kill people,” shouted the second woman. “In Poland, Jews are dying in a camp they call Auschwitz. I heard about it on the British radio station. Two men escaped, and they are telling the world what’s happening. Only the world doesn’t want to know.”
“Stop it!” Anyu shook a finger in the woman’s face. “Don’t scare the children.”
“Those stories are just propaganda. They tell them to frighten us,” said Aunt Bella. “You are helping the enemy by spreading such rumors.”
“I only hope you don’t find out for yourselves.” The woman wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “God forbid that we should end up in such a place.”
“Enough!” Anyu stepped between Aunt Bella and the woman. “Such talk only frightens everyone and does no good. Oscar, don’t listen to their gossip.” She looked around in sudden panic. “Where’s Paul? My God, they’ll take him away!”
“I’ll get him, Anyu,” Oscar said quickly.
He was happy to get away from that woman and her gloomy talk. I won’t believe it, he thought as he pushed his way through the crowd. I can’t believe it.
Oscar finally found his brother playing on the far side of the yard with a group of boys. They had gathered pebbles for a game. A boy flicked one, and the next tried to hit it with his.
“Look, Oscar.” Paul pointed proudly to his pile of pebbles. “I’m winning.”
Oscar breathed a sigh of relief. “Come on, we’ve got to go back.”
“But, Oscar, I want to play some more.”
“No. We have to stay together. I don’t want you to get lost.”
Paul pushed his pile of stones to another boy. “Here, you can have these now.”
He took Oscar’s hand.
Oscar glanced at a guard standing nearby. He wore a gendarme’s uniform, so Oscar knew he was Hungarian. He seemed younger than the others, with sandy hair and fair skin. He looked uneasy as he watched them. It seemed to Oscar that he wore his uniform like a costume—something he would take off when he finished playing the part, to go back to being the person he really was.
As Oscar stared up at him, the man returned his gaze. His eyes met Oscar’s, and his expression softened. He almost looks nice. Oscar could feel some of his hatred leaving. Then an officer walked up and barked something in German. The gendarme snapped to attention, saluted, and clicked his heels. As he did so, he shot Oscar a warning look. Oscar shivered. The officer had double lightning bolts pinned to his lapel. From the day they had marched into Karcag, Oscar had learned the difference between regular German soldiers and those were part of the dreaded Schutzstaffel, the SS. They were the cruelest of all—the gendarme seemed as afraid of him as Oscar was.
Wheew-eee! Oscar jumped at the blast of the train whistle. Suddenly, the gendarmes were shouting, gesturing at people to go to the train. A woman, calling for her son, ran the other way. A gendarme ordered her to stop and when she refused, he cracked his whip across her face. The woman screamed. He grabbed her shoulder, turned her around, and pushed her onto the train.
“Don’t look.” Oscar pulled Paul close. He felt like he was caught in a strong wind shoving them toward the train. “Paul, hold on to me. We’ve got to get back to Anyu.”
He pulled Paul along as he worked his way through the swirling crowd. Somehow they made it without getting caught.
“Anyu.” Paul ran into his mother’s arms.
“Thank God.” Anyu pulled them both close. “Don’t leave my sight again. We must stay together. Do you understand?” She looked sternly at Paul.
“Yes, Anyu.” He lowered his eyes. “I promise.”
Anyu turned to Aunt Bella. “Where are the girls?”
“We’re here, Auntie Lenke,” said Kati.
Magdi peeked out from behind her mother’s skirt, where she’d been hiding.
The train whistle blew again. Everyone turned to watch as the gendarmes slid the door to the last boxcar shut.
“We are spared,” Bella said.
“For today.” Anyu watched the train leave the station. “At least for today.”
Chapter 9
They had been in the yard by the factory for three days. Paul was tired, hungry, and filthy. He couldn’t remember ever feeling good. He was so hungry his stomach cramped. All they’d eaten was some stale bread the gendarmes gave them.
He stood and looked around. People were scattered throughout the once-crowded station. Trains had been leaving every day. When would it be their turn? Where would they go? He crawled into his mother’s lap.
“I’m hungry.”
“My poor baby.” She wrapped him in her arms.
Oscar took Paul’s hand. “Let’s get some water.”
“I’ll go with you,” Kati said.
“I want to come, too.” Magdi jumped to her feet. She looked up at Oscar with eyes dulled by hunger. “Please, can I come?”
“We’re only going to the water fountain, not to the swimming pool at the Berek,” Kati said.
“But it’s something to do,” Magdi whined. “I want to do something.”
“All right, you can come,” Kati said. She held out her hand. “Where do you think they’re going to take us?” she asked Oscar as they crossed the yard.
“I don’t know.” Oscar frowned. “But I’m worried.”
They reached the water spigot, which was on the other side of the windowless building. The water dripping from it was brown with rust. “The water we got at our well tasted better,” Paul said, as he bent down and cupped his hands to catch a few drops.
“At least it was clean,” said Oscar. He watched as Kati drank, and then he bent down and opened his mouth under the spigot. He grimaced. The rusty water tasted metallic like blood. He finished and looked up as a train whistle blew. The whistle hooted again as the train squealed to a stop.
“We’d better go back.” Oscar grabbed Paul, and Kati took Magdi’s hand. As they started across
the yard, a gendarme blocked their path.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He grabbed Kati’s shoulder. “Get on the train.”
“We need to go to our mothers,” Kati said.
A German soldier, who was fighting to restrain his dog, stepped forward and shoved her roughly.
“You’ll go where we tell you,” the gendarme said.
The dog growled.
Aunt Bella ran up to them. “All of you come with me.” She looked up at the gendarme. “We are together.”
The dog was still barking, and the soldier bent to adjust its leash.
“Come!” Aunt Bella pulled them over to Anyu, who was waving frantically. “It’s all right, Lenke. We are all here now.”
The yard was a scene of chaos. Dogs barked, guards shouted, and people gathered their children and bundles as the gendarmes herded everyone toward the train. Some of the older people were too weak to walk and had to be supported by others. When an old man fell, a guard kicked him until he struggled to his feet. A little girl was crying for her mother. A guard picked her up and threw her into the boxcar.
Oscar grasped Paul’s hand. “Hold on to me. Don’t let go,” he commanded.
“Yes, Oscar.” Paul clutched so tightly his fingernails dug into Oscar’s skin.
“Move!” A guard prodded them with the butt of his gun. Oscar saw that it was the same gendarme who had looked at them kindly the other day. He searched his face for some recognition, but any hint of compassion had disappeared. The gendarme showed only anger as he waved his gun. Oscar’s knees buckled and he grabbed his mother for support.
They reached the boxcar. Paul peered through the dark opening. “I don’t want to go in there,” he said.
“I’ll go first.” Oscar climbed up and then helped his mother and brother into the car. Aunt Bella and the girls followed. People piled in until there was no room to sit. When the car was full, the door slammed shut and everything went black.
It took a few minutes for Oscar’s eyes to adjust to the darkness. Slivers of light leaked through slits in the boxcar’s walls. By squinting, he was able to make out shapes of people huddled together. Beside him Paul whimpered. Oscar put an arm around him.
“Don’t be afraid, little brother. I’ll take care of you.”
“I want to go home.” Paul’s voice trembled.
“Soon, but now we’re on a train. Imagine that! We’ve never been on a train before. This is an adventure.”
“I don’t like this adventure.”
“Oscar…” Anyu’s voice was tired. “Don’t tease him.”
“I’m not teasing him, Anyu. I’m telling him not to be scared.”
“I’m scared, too,” Magdi piped up.
“Listen to Oscar,” said Kati. “This is exciting. We are going to see new places.”
“Really?” said Paul. “What kind of places?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Oscar lowered his voice. “Magic places with lakes and trees, maybe even a mountain.”
“I’ve never seen a mountain,” said Magdi.
“Me neither,” said Paul. He yawned. “I’m sleepy.” He leaned against Oscar, rested his head against him, and promptly fell asleep.
“We should all try to sleep,” Aunt Bella said.
“Or at least rest,” Anyu said. “We can lean against each other for support.”
Around them people were quieting down—whether from terror, exhaustion, or resignation, Oscar couldn’t tell. He closed his eyes and prayed that at least some of the story he had told Paul, Kati, and Magdi would be true.
Chapter 10
Vienna, Austria
June 1944
“The train has stopped!”
Paul opened his eyes. The air in the car was sour with the smell of unwashed bodies and an overflowing slop bucket. Around him people were stirring. A baby cried; a woman moaned. In the corner of the car an old man wailed. Someone told him to be quiet. The door of the car slid open, and Paul blinked in the sudden light.
“Out! Everyone out!” a soldier ordered.
Paul struggled to move. His legs were stiff from standing for many hours in a tight space. Oscar took his hand to steady him. They made their way to the front of the car. People ahead of them climbed down onto the platform. When it was their turn, Oscar went down first and then helped Paul and Anyu.
“Where are we?” Paul asked.
“Vienna.” Aunt Bella pointed to a sign hanging over the platform. She turned to Anyu. “Why did they bring us here?”
Anyu shrugged. She looked along the train. People were pouring out of every car, filling the platform. Soldiers were ordering them onto a second train stopped on the other side. These were no longer the Hungarian Gendarmerie. All of them were German, with the SS insignia on their collars.
There were people everywhere. She reached out for Paul, but he wasn’t there.
“Oscar, where’s Paul?”
“I don’t know, Anyu. He was with you.”
“Paul. Paul!” she called. She searched the crowd but didn’t see him. “He’s so small…”
A guard pushed them forward. “You! Into that car, over there.”
“I have to find my son. He’s missing.”
“You should have taken better care of him.” The guard sneered. “Now get on that train before I shoot you and your other boy.” He pointed the gun at Oscar.
“Lenke,” Aunt Bella said, “we’ll find Paul when we get off.”
“I have to find him now!” Anyu sobbed.
“Anyu, please!” Oscar looked fearfully at the guard fingering the trigger of his gun.
Aunt Bella and the girls were already being forced up into in the boxcar. Oscar was tugging at Anyu’s arm. She took one last frantic look around the station.
No Paul.
Clutching her chest, as if trying to hold her breaking heart together, she took Oscar’s hand and they climbed into the car. Crushed among a mass of people, Anyu watched the door slide shut. As the last of the daylight faded, so did her hopes of finding her son.
Paul stood on the platform and looked for someone, anyone familiar.
Where was Anyu? What had happened to Oscar? He couldn’t find Aunt Bella or the girls. People were pressing in on him, knocking him from one side to another. He looked up. Everyone was so big. He was lost in a tangle of arms and legs.
“Anyu!” he screamed, but no one answered. Where are they? I want my mother. I want my brother. He burst into tears.
“Are you lost, little boy?”
Paul looked up at a Nazi guard. He didn’t understand the man’s words, but he recognized the cruel look in his icy blue eyes. He was tugging at the leash of an enormous dog. The dog bared its teeth and drool leaked from its mouth. Paul trembled. He was so scared that he was afraid he would pee his pants.
The soldier leaned down and pushed his face against Paul’s. “We can’t leave you alone here on the platform, can we?” He grabbed him under his arms and hoisted him to the mouth of a railroad car.
Paul fell forward. He tried to stand up, but there wasn’t any room. The door slammed shut and the car went dark. He groped about, looking for a place to sit, and, finding none, squeezed in between two women who be grudgingly made space for him. The boxcar was so crowded he couldn’t breathe. He pulled his knees to his chest, lowered his head, and cried until he fell asleep.
Chapter 11
The minute they got off the train, Oscar and his mother started searching for Paul. Oscar ran in one direction while she went the other way.
As each boxcar emptied, Oscar called his brother’s name and asked people if they had seen him. Forcing his way through the crowd, he looked at every young boy, but none of them was Paul.
The guards were shoving people into a line. Oscar was afraid that he would become separated from Anyu, too, but he had to f
ind Paul.
And then he saw a dark, curly head bobbing through the crowd.
“Paul!” he shouted.
“Oscar!” Paul zigzagged along the platform, wiggling his way between legs. He jumped into his brother’s outstretched arms and burrowed against his shoulder. Inside he was still shaking, but he pretended he wasn’t scared.
“I was brave,” Paul said, as they made their way back to Anyu.
“Sure you were.” Oscar tousled his hair. “But stay with us from now on. Don’t worry Anyu.” Or me, he thought.
Anyu hugged Paul and covered his face with kisses.
“Oh, my little Pauli, don’t scare us like that again. You promise?”
“I promise,” Paul said solemnly. “Anyu, I was brave.” He buried his face in her skirt as he fought back tears.
“You, over there!” A soldier motioned with his gun for the family to join the line they were forming.
“There are Bella and the girls.” Anyu pointed. “Come.” She led her children to the place in line where they were standing.
Aunt Bella hugged her. “I was afraid something had happened to all of you.”
“I got lost,” Paul said. “Oscar found me.”
“He was in a different car.” Anyu’s voice trembled.
“Stop worrying your mother!” Aunt Bella shook a finger in Paul’s face. “Do you hear me?”
“Yes, Auntie Bella. Where are we going?”
“I don’t know,” she said, as the line began to move. “Just stay together, everyone. And pray,” she added under her breath, “pray hard.”
Chapter 12
Strasshof Concentration Camp, Austria
July 1944
“Where are we now?” asked Kati.
“Somewhere in Austria.” Oscar pointed to a sign by the station house.
“Austria. Thank God.” Anyu sighed. “At least we’re not in Germany.”
“Or, God forbid, Poland,” Aunt Bella added. The women exchanged knowing looks.
“What’s wrong with Poland?” asked Kati.
Aunt Bella just shook her head.
