Salvation: Reckless Desires (Blue Moon Saloon Book 4)

by Anna Lowe

  Soren pursed his lips in a gesture that said, I told you he’s the straight-to-business type. Which was a case of the pot calling the kettle black, for sure, though Todd decided not to say that.

  They filed into the cool shade of the building in strict order of rank — first the she-wolf, then her mate, then Soren, and finally Todd.

  Yeah, he got the message. He was the outsider here, the unknown bear. Even so, he stretched tall and made sure he met Ty Hawthorne’s eyes straight on in a not-so-subtle message of his own. He might not be a clan alpha, but he was powerful in his own right.

  It wasn’t until a minute later that he realized he wasn’t powerful anymore, not with all his injuries. Still, Ty looked him up and down then gave a curt nod.

  I’ll give you a chance, bear, that nod said. Exactly one.

  Another two wolves were standing in the room, and one offered a friendly handshake.

  “Hiya. I’m Cody,” said an easygoing blond guy. He followed Lana’s lead and shot his thoughts across along with the words spilling from his lips.

  Cody Hawthorne. Ty’s brother, Soren whispered in an aside aimed exclusively at Todd. Ty takes care of the big issues, and Cody keeps on eye on the day-to-day stuff.

  Todd didn’t have to work hard to figure out which of the two brothers had the people skills and which had the raw power.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Tina,” said a dark-haired beauty who looked a lot like Ty.

  The sister. She runs the neighboring ranch with her mate, Soren said.

  Todd shook her hand, hiding his amazement. The wolf pack spread across not one, but two huge ranches? No wonder they were a force to be reckoned with.

  He looked from one face to another. Were they a force powerful enough to stamp out the Blue Bloods?

  “Tell me what happened,” Ty barked.

  Soren explained what Sarah had described to him. The problem was, Sarah was a human who’d only been turned bear shifter recently when she mated with Soren. She didn’t have the experience to differentiate subtleties between shifters yet.

  Todd nodded along. When Sarah and Anna had set off on their hike, he’d stripped and shifted to follow them in bear form. He hadn’t shifted in days, and his body had ached for the chance. And man, did it feel good — really good — to sniff and roll and claw a few trees. Even his damaged foot did okay, so the limping wasn’t too bad, and he could easily keep up. So he’d let the women get ahead of him at one point, figuring he could catch up. The second the wolf howled, he’d barreled upslope so fast, the trees became a blur.

  No one threatens my mate! his bear had bellowed. No one!

  In his rush to intercept the wolf, he’d dashed right past Anna, who Sarah had shoved into a dive. In part, he figured, to get her out of the way, and in part to prevent her from getting a good look at him in bear form.

  I want her to see me, his bear grumbled inside. To accept me. To love me.

  Well, Todd wanted that, too, but that had hardly been the time.

  When, then? his bear demanded.

  He hung his head. Maybe never.

  “Todd.” Soren’s voice boomed into his mind, and he looked up.

  Oops. Everyone was looking at him, expecting the answer to a question he’d missed.

  “Can you describe the wolf?” Lana asked gently — and quickly, he figured, before Ty did something like smack him over the head.

  “You’re sure it was a shifter?” Tina added, helping him along.

  He nodded. Even Sarah knew it was a shifter. She just didn’t recognize which one.

  “It definitely wasn’t one of the Black River wolves from Jess and Janna’s pack. And not any of the Blue Bloods involved in the ambush.”

  Normally, a single rogue wolf might not have aroused so much concern. But everyone had learned not to underestimate the Blue Bloods.

  “I was hoping we got the last of them,” Tina Hawthorne sighed.

  “Maybe we did,” Ty snarled, but even he didn’t sound entirely convinced.

  The leaders had been eliminated, but there was no telling whether the movement had been stamped out or whether it had only gone underground.

  “You’re sure it wasn’t one of the Blue Bloods?” Cody asked.

  Todd gritted his teeth and searched memories he’d have preferred not to explore too closely. He’d barely managed to get Sarah out of the burning house in Black River when the Blue Blood wolves had come swarming at him. He’d pushed her toward his truck and stood guard while she got away, then fought like the warrior he’d been raised to be. But one bear was no match for twenty wolves, and they’d wrestled him to the ground. Some stayed in wolf form, while others shifted to human shape and battered his body with bricks and bats, howling at him the entire time. He could feel one rogue stomp on his hand and pin it against a rock while another smashed it again and again, shattering every bone, tearing every sinew.

  Purity. Purity. Their triumphant cries echoed in his mind, louder and more clearly than any sound he’d caught in the past couple of months. He just about jammed his hands over his ears, but then another memory jumped out of nowhere and sang to him in a melody he strained to hear.

  Stay with me. Don’t die. Not now. Not like this.

  Wait a minute. He knew that voice.

  Think of mountain meadows in spring. Thick of a clear, cool summer creek…

  Anna. The woman who’d talked him out of dying was Anna?

  Think of berries growing thick in the fall…

  It was as if she’d looked into his mind, discovered all his favorite things, and written them all into a poem just for him.

  Anna had been there at the beginning of this mess. And Jesus, Anna was the one who’d facilitated his escape from the cage he’d been kept in at the wildlife center.

  But, wait a minute. Wasn’t he mad at her for tricking him into staying alive when he should have died? If it weren’t for her, he would have died a hero, and none of the suffering he’d endured since then would have happened.

  But none of the good moments would have happened, either, he realized. Like meeting her in the park the day he thought his head would split. Like seeing her smile. Like getting to hold her after her nightmare.

  How can I be mad at my mate? his bear grumbled. It wasn’t her fault. It’s fate.

  He blinked a few times, trying to make sense of it. Wait. Maybe fate hadn’t been screwing with him. Maybe fate had given him a choice.

  Die a hero, or live on and hold out for your mate.

  His hands shook, because he knew what that meant. Fate never negotiated and it never offered choices — except in the rarest circumstances.

  The truest heroes, the ones who serve most loyally — those who put others above their own good — sometimes, fate rewards them with something it doesn’t give anyone else. He remembered his great-grandfather’s ancient voice scratching out the words. He remembered it perfectly, right down to the gestures of the old man’s leathery hands and the crackle of wood in the fireplace on that winter’s night, a long time ago.

  Fate gives them a choice, his great-grandfather had said. A choice that risks more suffering, but gives them the possibility of an even greater end. Their own destiny. One they fight for, if they’re brave enough to try.

  His hands shook, and he gulped for air. Jesus, how could that possibly be him?

  He wanted to grab Soren and ask him if he remembered that story, too. He wanted to race back in time and study his own actions, because he hadn’t been trying to be a hero. He’d just done what he had to do.

  But everyone was staring at him now, so he rocked back on his heels and gulped. He could have cut through the tension in the room with his pinkie claw if he could coordinate himself to move just then.

  Lucky thing Tina stepped forward, cutting the tension a different way.

  “Such a hot day,” she murmured, handing him a glass. “How about a drink, everyone?”

  She pressed something cool and moist into his hand — his good hand, bless her, so
the chances of him dropping it were low.

  “Lemonade,” she said casually, settling his nerves. “My Aunt Jean made it, and it’s really good.”

  It was a cue for him to drink, and he obeyed. She even stood in front of him while he brought the glass to his mouth, helping hide the shake in his hand and the pale hue he felt come over his face.

  Tina passed glasses around to the others, and it was all so smooth, so natural. Not so much a cover-up as a friendly little break.

  Thanks, he murmured, directing the thought to Tina’s mind and no one else.

  Tina winked.

  I know something about big bad alphas needing a helping hand from time to time.

  He smiled then froze. Wait a second. He wasn’t an alpha. He was just…

  Tina shook her head at him, sending an audible tsk-tsk into his mind.

  Obviously, the she-wolf didn’t know him as well as she thought, but now was hardly the time to push that point.

  “So, it wasn’t one of the Blue Bloods,” Cody said, picking up the conversation where he’d left off.

  “At least, not one directly involved in the attacks.”

  “Maybe we got all of them,” Cody said, looking hopeful if not certain.

  Ty shook his head. “Hard to say. But they might as well be out there, the way shifters all over the West are panicking.”

  Just when Todd was about to ask what that meant, Lana supplied the answer.

  “Mixed shifter couples living in outlying places have been contacting us, looking for a safer place. Looking to band together. There are rumors of new attacks, but so far, none we can prove. No one knows if the Blue Bloods are still out there or not.”

  Ty shook his head and rapped his knuckles on a table, calling the conversation back to the main point. “Where exactly did this wolf show up?”

  Todd cast his mind back to the previous day’s hike, because that was easier to handle than the distant past. “I think it’s called Sunrise Trail. It went up like this…” He drew the landscape with his hands, and the others nodded along. “There was a hollow, then a rise, and then a little ridge you don’t see from below.”

  “I know the spot.” Ty nodded. “Good place to surprise someone.”

  “You got any rogues around here I don’t know about?” Soren curved an eyebrow, and Todd could see the anger in his cousin’s tight lips.

  Ty shook his head firmly, but the gesture slowly stalled out. “None. Unless…”

  “Unless?” Soren demanded.

  Ty, Tina, and Cody exchanged glances, and Todd caught the whisper of a name.

  “Roy.”

  “Who the hell is Roy?” Soren demanded.

  Tina opened her hands in the air, a signal for the bear to cool down. Her face had gone from thoughtful to sad. “A member of our pack.”

  “A rogue member of your pack?” Soren barked, enraged at the idea that his mate had been threatened by one of his allies.

  The Twin Moon wolves shook their heads. “He’s not a rogue,” Tina said quickly. “It’s just that… Well…”

  Cody continued where she left off. “We grew up together. He’s a good guy. But after… Well, after a tragedy—” Cody said, glossing over the details “—he started staying in wolf form for longer and longer periods of time.”

  A hush fell over the room.

  “How long has he been in wolf form?” Soren asked.

  Cody looked at Ty, who looked at Tina.

  “How long?” Soren demanded.

  Tina gave a sad sigh. “Six years.”

  Soren shot Todd a look that said, holy crap. Wolf shifters were like bears in that their human sides were dominant. To stay in animal form too long meant risking one’s sanity, as Todd knew all too well. He’d stayed in bear form for months, and he’d felt the strands of sanity unravel, one thin thread at a time. Who knows what might have happened if he’d remained a bear for longer?

  And six years… Holy crap was right.

  Ty ran a hand through his hair. “Roy wouldn’t hurt anyone — I think.”

  “Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Tina said. “It could have been an outsider who wandered onto our territory.”

  “Well, I want him out. Yesterday,” Ty barked.

  “We’ll send our best trackers out,” Cody said.

  Ty nodded. “Put Zack on it. And Kyle.”

  “And I’ll rustle up our best hands to help keep an eye on things in town,” Tina said. “We let them slack off a bit since the last attack. Maybe that was a mistake.”

  Soren growled under his breath, and Todd understood his frustration. On the one hand, Soren’s pride demanded that he protect his clan with his own resources. On the other hand, he was ready to go to any length to protect those he loved.

  Yeah, Todd got that part. He got it very well.

  Part of his mind had still been teasing apart the concept of fate giving him a choice. But now, he shoved all that aside. It wasn’t time to think. It was time to act. To protect.

  Soren caught his eye and gave him a dark look. I know it’s hard for you to stay, but I need you, man. Will you stay until we’re sure it’s safe for everyone?

  Soren meant Sarah, Teddy, and the other members of his clan, but front and foremost among them, Todd saw an image of Anna.

  Will you do it? Soren repeated.

  Did he have to ask?

  I’m with you, he nodded. Whatever it takes.

  Chapter Eight

  That night, Anna’s dreams were haunted by diabolical wolves, and she very nearly cried out for Todd again. She only managed to coax herself back to bed by thinking of better things — like Todd holding her. Kissing her. Touching her. Whispering her name.

  In the dreams that followed the nightmares, her mind played out a thousand sultry encounters. But by the time she got up in the morning to help Jessica bake, Todd was already gone.

  “Damn it.” She scowled into the mirror and forced herself to get moving.

  But he’d forgotten something, apparently, because he came back up the stairs when she headed out, and just like that, her mood lifted again.

  “Morning,” he murmured, stopping with one foot on her step and one foot on the step below. That put them eye to eye, and she lost her breath. From so close up, she could make out the pattern of his irises, where lighter blues intersected with darker indigo like so many panes of stained glass.

  “Morning,” she whispered.

  Taking a deep breath had been a mistake because he smelled so good. She wanted to nuzzle her chin up and down his jaw. She wanted to tuck her cheek against his chest. To run her hands up and down his arms.

  And oops, she really did reach out for his arm.

  His lips moved, and his eyes dropped to her mouth. His chest rose and fell with every breath, and hers did, too, in perfect time with him.

  Kiss him. Kiss him. A chant started up in her head.

  He tilted his head a tiny bit, and God, that brought him to the perfect angle for a brush of the lips.

  Kiss him. Kiss him.

  It was just like that time in sixth grade when she’d been all the way up the high dive board at the community pool, and all the kids had egged her on from below.

  Go. Go. Go.

  Her hands tightened on his shirt — somewhere along the line, her fingers seemed to have snuck over to his chest — and she held her breath.

  He was so close. So quiet. So focused on her.

  It was impossible not to kiss him. Even the songbirds outside seemed to cheer her on.

  Kiss me, his eyes begged.

  So she did. She tilted her chin up, closed her eyes, and leaned in for a kiss. And the second their lips met…

  She’d been expecting fireworks, but it felt more like slipping into a warm bath on a cold day. The kind that commanded you to sigh with pleasure and let every single muscle relax. His lips covered hers and moved slightly, as if he were whispering while kissing — and maybe he was. Not that she could hear anything over the swoosh of her pulse in her ear
s.

  After one soft kiss, they eased apart. But just as gently, they leaned back in for another. And another and another, until his hand slid behind her neck and tugged her closer. Her fingers knotted tightly in his shirt, and her breath came as quickly as if she’d been running up the stairs instead of standing still, and—

  “Anna!” Jessica called from below. “Are you ready to give me a hand?”

  They both whipped around, holding their breath. Why, she couldn’t tell. The kiss felt so right — light-years from wrong. So why the jolt? Why let all that space come between them when close felt so much better?

  Todd gulped and closed his eyes, and she did, too, hanging on to the memory of what had just transpired.

  “I have to go,” she whispered.

  He caught a lock of her hair in one finger and twirled it around, then smiled as if some great secret had been revealed to him.

  “Been wanting to do that for a long time,” he confessed.

  Been wanting you to do that for a long time, she nearly said.

  One second, he was grinning, and the next, all mournful. And then he was gone.

  He was busy all day, damn it, and so was she. And yet, a second didn’t tick by without her thinking of him. Every time she greeted a new customer, she wished it was him. Every time she served a drink, she imagined bringing Todd one that was colder and bigger. And every time the clock ticked, she wondered when she might get the chance to see him again.

  To kiss him again, her subconscious added hopefully.

  “I feel bad. You’re supposed to be visiting, not working your butt off,” Sarah said when Anna bustled into the saloon after helping close down the café for the afternoon.

  “Really, I’m happy to help,” she said, wiping down a table.

  “I like Anna working her butt off,” Janna added with a grin. “I’ve gotten to sleep in every morning this week.”

  Anna laughed. “All of you work so hard. I can’t believe you manage so many back-to-back shifts.”

  It was true. Everyone worked hard to make the café and the saloon a success, and she was happy to be part of it in some way. At her real estate office in Virginia, there was never a feeling of a common goal the way there was here.