“Damn it!” she swore in frustration.
“Never mind, Mandy, they’re on their way now. You don’t need to call them back. You did a great job with them.” Zack complemented her from the cab. He had carefully climbed through the shattered windshield and was applying pressure to the driver’s head wound.
While doing that he was testing out her emotional waters, which were so murky he couldn’t get a clear read due to…shock. Oh shit! He suddenly realized that this was scarily like the accident she’d been in with David. No wonder she was so calm, she was sleepwalking through everything! Shit! Shit! Shit! Knowing he had to deal with the driver he put Mandy on the back burner. He couldn’t do anything for her right now and she wasn’t asking anyway.
Still feeling like she was out of it, and knowing that might be a blessing in disguise, Amanda climbed up onto the canted vehicle’s hood to join Zack and offer her assistance. She braced herself by hooking one foot around the wheel well and one hand on the frame of the window trying to avoid the shattered glass. Oh jeez! There was so much blood! She looked around the cab, it was splattered everywhere, rather like a work of modern art. Distantly, she thought that it should upset her much more than it did to see the dripping, splashes of color.
“Here, let me do that, Zack. You can take care of his arm and whatever else you need to.”
Amanda reached over to keep the pressure on the man’s head. He was still belted into the truck and hung sideways. Zack was standing on the passenger side door and was awkwardly hunched due to his height and the accordioned state of the cab. She was vaguely reminded of the hunchback of Notre Dame. The bells! The bells! She choked back an inappropriate and slightly hysterical burble of laughter. That would not do!
“Gloves!” Zack snapped at her before she touched the driver. She shot him a slightly annoyed look and dug through his bag until she found a pair. Pulling them on she reached again for the sterile dressing Zack had applied to the driver’s head.
The driver who had mostly been in shock was beginning to panic as his injuries made themselves known. Taking a closer look Amanda realized he was fairly young, maybe twenty-two or twenty-three. He began to thrash around as Zack tried to stabilize his arm, crying out in pain and fear.
“I know you’re hurting,” Zack told him, “but I’m trying to help you here. You’ve got to calm down and cooperate with me, son.” His words resulted in anything but more cooperation as the young man went into full meltdown.
“Look at me,” Amanda ordered him softly but determinedly.
She released the frame of the window lowering herself so that she was eye level with the young man and slightly upside down. She kept her foot hooked under the wheel well so she wouldn’t slide off and draped her body across the hood. Ignoring Zack’s disturbed gaze at her precarious position, she laid a gentle hand against the driver’s cheek, carefully avoiding the gashes across his face.
“Look at me,” she said more firmly and the man turned his pain-filled eyes to hers.
“What’s your name?” she asked gently.
“Tony,” he muttered, gasping as Zack bandaged his arm.
“Tony what?”
“Tony Gibbons”
“Hello, Tony. I’m Amanda and as he’s told you, this is Zack. He’s a doctor and he’s going to help you, but he won’t be able to if you don’t cooperate with him. Got it?” He nodded and then moaned.
“Okay, Tony Gibbons. Tell me about yourself.” Keep him talking, she told herself.
Zack smiled at her in approval but she caught his worried gaze as he swept it across her face and knew he was trying to figure out what her mental status was. Good luck, she thought. She couldn’t have described it if she had to. She felt…blessedly numb. Yes, that would do, and she desperately hoped she stayed that way.
Zack went about his business, finishing with Tony’s arm and then stabilizing the broken ankle while Amanda kept pressure on his head. She kept Tony distracted asking questions about his family and his girlfriend, his hobbies, and his friends. Though it hurt him to breathe he answered her questions, trying to keep himself conscious. By the time Zack had him patched up, as well as he was able, an ambulance and fire truck arrived.
Amanda was given a hand down by one of the firefighters, while the paramedics scrambled up to be given an update by Zachary. Only then did she look around and realize there was string of vehicles blocked on the mountain pass in both directions. Traffic wouldn’t be moving anywhere, any time soon. The overturned tractor trailer and full load of logs covered the road for a hundred yards or more downhill. The last log had come to rest approximately one foot from Zack’s truck. A sudden chill caught her and she shivered violently though it was hotter than Hades in the bright afternoon sun.
Taking off the bloody gloves she turned them inside out and tucked them into a ball. She stood staring at them for a moment before she wrapped her arms around herself and held on tight as reaction began to set in. She turned to see where Zack was and could tell he’d be busy for a while yet directing the paramedics. They still needed to get the driver out and were discussing the how’s of that process, considering his broken ribs and the nearly crushed cab.
She returned to Zack’s truck, carefully picking her way over and around the logs. They looked like a giant’s version of the childhood game of pick-up-sticks. They leaned precariously across each other in places and formed strange geometric shapes in others. Trees along the side of the road were snapped in half and leaned hazardously against other trees and some hung dangerously over the roadway.
Climbing up into the driver’s side she thankfully found he had left the keys in the ignition, though he’d had the sense to shut off the engine as she pulled him from the cab. She started the truck and turned the air on full-blast. The temperature had probably climbed into the high-nineties and though she hadn’t noticed it while helping Zack with the driver, she did now. Kneeling on the front seat she turned to grab a bottle of water from the cooler in the backseat of his extended cab.
Turning around she slid down into the passenger seat. The twisting motion elicited a groan when her aching back and ankle complained. Both were stiff from holding her unnatural position on the crumpled hood of the tractor. With trembling hands she unscrewed the cap on the water bottle and began chugging it down. God she was thirsty! The heat must have leeched out of her more than she’d bargained for. She should take some water to Zack, too. He had to be just as hot and dehydrated as she was. She pushed back the loose strands of her hair from her sweaty face and neck, leaning into the air vent to cool her skin for a minute before she dug out a bottle for him.
Sitting forward to search for him, she watched the emergency workers as they tried to wrench open the door with the Jaws of Life. She watched in numb curiosity for a minute, forgetting about Zack’s water. Then slowly, so slowly in fact that she didn’t notice it at first, the scene before her became overlaid with a grittier, hazier, and much bloodier scene as her mind superimposed the memories of another rescue attempt. She briefly wondered why the previously bright day seemed so dark, then her own remembered pain and terror surfaced and swamped her. Her nightmare had become a…a daymare? Was that a word, she wondered hazily?
The memories of her accident kept coming, blurry, bloody, and unbearable. She shook her head trying to rid herself of her thoughts. She sat down heavily on the running board of the truck, trying to ignore the squealing of the machinery as it cut through the metal in an attempt to free the driver. She covered her ears. She couldn’t watch it anymore and didn’t want to even hear it.
Unable to shake her thoughts she fell into a vast well of misery as she relived the most awful moments of her life over and over. Those thoughts, stuck on a loop, refused to release her. Back on that friggin’ merry-go-round, are we? She chastised herself for being unable to pull out of it. Then she gave up and let it all wash over her. Damn it! Why did she keep putting herself through this? Why couldn’t she just forget?! All she wanted to do was forget!
/> If you wanted to forget, or learn to live with it, you’d let David go, wouldn’t you? a small voice asked. She firmly told the small voice to shut the fuck up.
As if summoned, Amanda saw the air quiver in front of her and felt a warm flush of additional heat flow over her as David reappeared. He pulled her to her feet. “Come on, let’s get you some air.”
She climbed into the cab and turned off the engine, taking the keys with her. She had no idea how long Zack might be and anyone could take his truck, in the opposite direction, that was. He’d be able to track her emotions to find her so she wasn’t concerned he’d worry where she was.
Taking David’s hand she followed him into the forest. About fifty yards in there was a shady little grove bedded with ferns. The sunlight weakly filtered through the trees and the temperature was approximately ten degrees less than what was reflected out near the road. David sat on a fallen tree tugging Amanda down with him.
She was unaware that she was still shaking in fear until David put his arm around her. “Shh…sweets. It’s okay. You’re both all right. You were able to save him.” David seemed to know that Amanda’s primary concern had not been for herself but for Zachary.
She shook harder. “But…almost, David. Almost.” Her voice trembled as much as her body. “The visions…this precognitive stuff…it isn’t absolute. That means what I see with Zack in the future…it might not happen. How do I know for sure? I saw us together Christmas of next year. A happy family.” This last part she said with sarcasm. “What if,” she gulped. “What if I’m wrong? Look at what just happened! He would have been killed too! Well…we both would have been killed. I saw it!”
“But he wasn’t, was he?” David asked quietly “That was all you. You just guaranteed that family Christmas, sweets. You just made it absolute. Now, that doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen. We both know that.” He kissed her forehead. “But it does mean you still have a shot. What’s so hard about reaching out and grabbing a chance at happiness? Not many people get a second chance, Mandy. You’re the lucky one.”
“Lucky?” She looked at him in disbelief. “Lucky?!” she screeched. “David, if I was lucky I would have been able to save you!”
Tears filled her eyes and spilled over, trailing down her cheeks. Then another part of her realized the conundrum. If she’d saved David, she’d never have had Zack in her life, at least not the way he was now. Zack, who fought for her, loved her, cherished her, helped her, and put up with her nonsensical melodramatic bullshit. The two men were so very different from each other it was mind-boggling. Not sure which thoughts were more traitorous, wanting to remain with David, or wanting to be with Zack. She reflexively gagged on them, noticing David’s wise nod in acknowledgment of her thoughts.
“Some things just aren’t meant to be, sweets. We had our time together and it was wonderful. I couldn’t have had a better wife or marriage. But it’s over for us and it’s time for you to move on.” He stated this firmly and baldly to her though he felt his own spirit heart would shatter at the pain of pushing her away. “I need you to let me go, Mandy. I need to be with Hannah.”
He figured it was time to play dirty. She would not deny him the chance to be with their daughter, if he asked, and he knew it. He was going to have to force her to release him. Force her to latch onto Zachary more solidly. She wouldn’t do it until she didn’t have him to lean on and whether she believed it or not, she was ready. She was deeply in love with Zack, but her loyalty to David wouldn’t allow her to totally place her heart in Zack’s hands. She was only using him as a crutch to get over that last hurdle of grief. His presence had been imperative through last weekend and yesterday’s challenge to her growing powers, but now it was time to cut the strings.
“David! No! Please…” Her voice choked off as if strangled.
* * * *
Zack witnessed Amanda’s retreat to the truck and tracked her progress until he saw her safely within its confines. He could tell she was overwrought and in shock but needed to deal with Tony and help the paramedics get the kid out safely. She seemed understanding of that and hadn’t pressured him to leave the boy. She’d told him to take his time and take care of the driver, and that she’d wait. Hell, where would she go anyway? The pass was backed up in each direction because of the accident.
Thinking she would be okay, though certainly not great, on her own, he’d been unprepared for the massive shockwave of emotions he’d received from her once the Jaws of Life began their job. Puzzled, he lifted his head to peer in her direction but she was too far away to see. It only took a few more moments for him to catch on that they must have used the same equipment to pull her from the wreckage of her accident.
Jesus Christ! he thought. So much for a low stress, restful day for her! So far she’d been pissed off, shut off, scared to death, and now this had to bring back horrid memories for her, too. He swore under his breath, and willed the damned firefighters to get a move on getting the driver out.
Nearly a half hour after they’d arrived he was finally able to help the paramedics pull the kid from the crumbled tractor. Giving them some last minute instructions he helped load the boy into the ambulance and watched it pull away. Looking around he realized they weren’t going anywhere fast. This would be a long, slow, and tedious process and there was no other way in to the site. He was turning around and taking her home. Screw the job. He’d send someone else to finish the project. This long distance relationship stuff was driving him crazy, especially with the difficulties they both faced.
Picking his way through the timber-covered road he approached his truck expecting to find Amanda crashed on the seat, perhaps taking a nap. Or maybe hoped that would be the case. Of course it wasn’t. She’d taken his keys and left a mostly empty water bottle on the front seat. He climbed in pulling one out for himself before going in search of. He humorously wondered what Leonard Nimoy would think of Amanda’s and his abilities and if they would have been featured on the old television show he’d once hosted.
She had to have taken a walk, he guessed. He stopped and focused his attention on her and caught her emotional signature a short distance away. Yep, not to his surprise he read high stress and extreme grief. Oh hell, like what else was new? The poor woman was continually dumped on. No wonder she suffered so much stress. He briefly wondered what the hell she’d ever done to deserve the torture she’d been put through.
“Amanda!” he called out. No answer. Turning slightly to his left he entered the forest. She was hurting so bad he felt a physical ache himself as a result. He didn’t need to track her, she was reeling him in with the strength of her emotions.
He heard Amanda’s voice before he heard David’s and stopped, stunned again for a moment by the fact that he didn’t need Amanda to see or hear David anymore. Either Amanda’s and his emotional bond was so strong now that Zack could see David without physical contact or something else had changed since the mass ghostly visitation on Saturday and their abilities had overlapped.
He hesitated, not wanting to intrude on what was clearly a private moment. But it took David no longer than a second or two to pick up on Zack’s presence, though Amanda seemed to remain ignorant of it. David shot him a quick look that plainly told him to “back the fuck off.” He was saying his good-byes and Zack had interrupted him.
“David! No! Please…” Her voice choked off as if strangled and Zack wanted to cry with her.
“Sweets, it’s time. You know it, too.” David wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“Not today! Not after what just happened, it’s…it’s too much like that night, David.” Her tremulous voice broke on night and Zack cringed reliving her memory feelings with her.
“Mandy, it’s actually the perfect time, if there is any such thing, to say good-bye. This time you saved him. It’s a chance to begin anew, knowing you were blessed by fate this time. Stop looking at what might have been and look at what could be! He loves you so much. You truly have no idea how much.” David
glanced at him several times during this little lecture to Amanda, wanting to make sure he got the message, too.
She sat there shaking her head so vehemently that her tears splattered in every direction. But Zack felt he could almost read her thoughts and somehow knew she thought herself selfish, and that as much as it felt like it was killing her right now, that she would be okay. She was over the hurdle, she had accepted David’s death, and she had found someone new to build a life with. David held her for a long while, waiting for her to come to terms with what she already knew to be true, and Zack wished it was his own arms holding her close.
Zack stood, silently watching the drama play out in front of him, waiting for Amanda to reach her decision. He felt she was ready. David knew she was ready. The only one in doubt was Amanda. He held his breath waiting for her to speak.
Finally, she nodded miserably and lifted her lips to David’s and asked, “Kiss me good-bye?” in a voice so anguished that Zack thought someone had stabbed him in the chest, as her feelings rushed off of her and into him, white hot and bitter in the extreme.
Zack bit his lower lip and tears leaked from the corners of his eyes as he watched David kiss his wife good-bye. “I love you, sweet girl. I will always love you,” he told her.
“I love you too, David. You’ll always have a piece of my heart with you, don’t forget that. Don’t ever forget. I love you, too.” Zack saw Amanda grab David in an iron grip and hug him for all she was worth. “Give Hannah all my love. Please tell her she’ll always be with me, just as I’ll always carry a part of you with me.”
With a choked voice Amanda said to him “The light, David. You can go,” and Zack saw them give each other a twisted smile. He was sure there was an additional meaning to those words he didn’t get.
“Remember, I love you both!” Amanda assured him one last time.
“I will. Good-bye, sweets. Be as good to Zack as you were to me, and be happy.” Smiling sadly, but with relief, too, he kissed her one last time and faded from her view.
Amanda's Touch [D.A.R.E.ing Women] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 52
