by Erin Trejo
“Ryker, you good brother? I need you over in the shop tomorrow.” Ryker raises his beer at me but doesn’t speak. He’s been that way lately. He doesn’t speak a whole lot; I guess he’s processing things in his own way.
“I’ll help out if you need me.” Joey chimes in from down the bar. Nodding at him, I hate the whole vibe of this club. We’re not right, but I can only hope that with time we will be.
“I’m goin’ to Angel’s tomorrow for most of the day. Reggie is comin’ in to help out. Vic wants to come pay his respects this weekend and said he might stick around a little if that’s good with everyone.” Ryker grunts before I turn to look at him.
“You don’t like Vic?” The amusement in my voice brings out a grin on his face. That’s something I haven’t seen in a while.
“Hell no! You don’t remember that summer five, six years ago when that motherfucker rolled in here?” Shaking my head, I do, but I want him to tell that story. I want him to let out some of that shit he’s holding in.
“Yeah you do. That motherfucker rolled over here drunk off his ass. He ran around this club like he was a fuckin’ race car. Sharp let him shoot up that new shit we had and it was bogus. Vic tried to get Torch to shoot up with him but Torch knew somethin’ was off with it. He wouldn’t do it. Vic climbed up on that goddamn pool table right there, and took a big ass shit all over it.” The smile on his face is priceless. I love seeing him remembering and not getting lost.
“That was some nasty shit, too. Torch went over there and kept fuckin’ playin’. You remember that Ryker?” Piper smiles as he walks down toward us.
“Yeah, that motherfucker hit my favorite 8 ball right into the middle of that pile of shit. Nasty motherfucker.” Chuckling, we all laugh with him.
“Yeah, that was the good times back then brother. You young ones were up for anything back then. That same night, you took that dare and jumped off the goddamn roof of this place.” Jersey’s hands wrap around Ryker as she smiles.
“You did not do that?” Ryker turns his head to peck her on the lips before nodding.
“Oh darlin’, I did a shit ton more than that.” His smile lights up the room.
“Yeah, ask him about that time he almost electrocuted Torch.” Piper laughs before sliding another beer down the counter to me. Grabbing it in my hand, I look at Ryker.
“I wasn’t here for that shit. I would remember.” Ryker chuckles before pulling Jersey into his lap.
“Torch was fuckin’ with one of those chasers’ hair dryers. I filled up the bath tub next to him, told him it would work better if he jumped in and out really quick. I never thought the son of bitch would do it. When he jumped in the hair dryer slipped out of his hands, and hit the water. I never saw a man light the fuck up like he did.” Everyone breaks into laughter. I see the look in Ryker’s eyes though, he’s hurting inside.
Losing Torch is taking a toll on him.
Chapter 47
Tank
Wandering around the shop, I know I need to get to work but my mind won’t stop. What if I would have stayed in there and not Torch? He might not have had kids and all, but he was a good man. He didn’t deserve to go out like he did.
“Get your head out of your ass, Tank. We need these bikes done before tonight.” Ryker sits with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth working on one of them.
“Fuck off. I don’t give a shit if those little wanna be’s have their bikes for bitchfest.” Ryker laughs hysterically knowing exactly what I mean. The so called bikes we’re working on are what we like to call crotch rockets. Made of shit material, for even shittier riders. They shouldn’t even be considered bikes.
“Could you see us ridin’ these motherfuckers around town?” Hitting the bike with the wrench, Ryker laughs again.
“What kind of punks would we look like?” Shaking his head, he gets back to work before I start on the other one.
“We should cut the break lines. Fuckin’ shit isn’t a bike.” Mumbling to myself I hear Ryker laugh again. At least he’s laughing. That’s always a good sign.
“Hey, are we taken that lake trip any time soon?” Messing around with a bolt on this piece of shit, I look over at him.
“Hadn’t talked about. We need that shit though. At least, I do.” Ryker grunts as he gets back to work.
We work in silence when the thought occurs to me.
“Hey, Ryker. Bella say anything to you lately?” Grabbing his bottle of beer, he takes a long pull as I watch him.
“No more than usual. Why?” I see the look in his eyes. He knows what I’m talking about, he just isn’t saying it.
“She said somethin’ the other night. It just got to me.” Looking away from him, I saw him swallow hard.
“What’d she say?” Pulling out a cigarette, I light it before turning to look at him again.
“She made me promise that I wouldn’t worry about her. I don’t know what the hell she’s talkin’ about though.” Ryker shakes his head before standing up.
“So, did you?” Walking past me and toward the office, I follow his movements with my eyes.
“Did I what?”
“Promise her?” Shaking my head, I stand up and cross my arms over my chest.
“You want to tell me what it is you know brother?” Ryker pulls another beer out of the fridge before popping the top off and looking at me.
“I don’t know shit. Was just askin’.” He averts his eyes away from mine looking at anything but me. I’ll find out what it is that he knows.
“I did.” Walking past me, he stops.
“You did?” Looking at me a little confused, I wonder if the man is a little slow.
“I promised her I wouldn’t worry.” With a slight nod, he smiles and gets back to work.
Chapter 48
Creed
The store’s been busier than usual today. It’s weird not having Torch around being his normal annoying self. I miss it. I miss the smug ass look that he used to get on his face when he thought we were doing shit we shouldn’t be. I miss him.
“You ok in there, Creed?” Reggie hollers through the bathroom door at me. I don’t know how long I’ve been in here, but I do know that I’m not ready to come out. My head is spinning as my mind wanders to other things.
“Yeah.” Pushing the door open, I step out to see the look on Reggie’s face. He’s worried, and I can’t blame him. Hell, I’m worried right now.
“What are you thinkin’?” The way he narrows his eyes at me, makes me think he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
“You know somethin’ ain’t right when you start to think like Ryker, yeah?” Reggie shakes his head as he follows me back out to the front of the store. I stand off to the side watching Jada and Jersey as they work the register.
“That shits not good Creed. Ryker’s head is a completely messed up place to be brother.” Glancing over at him, I already know that. Ryker is a crazy son of a bitch.
“He seems to be on the right track with these motherfuckers though. I feel like I should have listened to him a long fuckin’ time ago. I wanted to plan shit out, and have everything in place before we moved on them.” Reggie sighs before slapping his hand down on my shoulder.
“You can’t think like that man. You’re right. You can’t go after them without a plan. Ryker wants to go balls out crazy, and believe me the rest of us do too, but goin’ out there unprepared isn’t goin’ to do anything but get more of us killed brother.” Dropping my head, I know he’s right. I just feel like I’m losing here. I’m losing my brothers, my club.
All the anger that bubbles up inside of me threatens to spill over, and I don’t want to take it out on anyone here. Reaching out, I hit all the bottles in front of me off onto the floor. The girls jump before Reggie grabs my shoulders.
“Come on Creed! Take a walk!” Jerking me back, I turn on him.
“I’m losin’ it, brother!” Emotions flood my vision before I feel her hands wrap around me.
“Creed, take a walk with m
e.” Jada tugs at me, but my hands are clenched and ready to fight. I don’t know how to control all this shit. This club is falling fast, and nothing I do seems to be keeping it up. Finally giving in to Jada, I let her pull me out the back door into the alley.
Pressing my hands against the wall, I lower my head. Her hands rub small soft circles over my back. Something inside of me wants to snap, it needs it. I haven’t felt like this in such a long time, it scares me.
“I want to kill someone.” Her hands press into me harder.
“I know.” Her voice is soft as she whispers near my ear.
“No you don’t. Jada, I haven’t felt like this since you’ve been back. Before, I just killed for the fuck of it. It soothed me to watch a motherfucker die. I don’t know what I’m doin’ anymore. I don’t know who the fuck I am.” Jada climbs under my arms gripping my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her.
“You’re a leader Creed. If you aren’t strong enough for this, they won’t be either. They look up to you, respect you. They look to you for strength. You are you. You’ve always been you, Creed.” Looking her in the eyes, I don’t know how she sees that in me. Not anymore.
“I’ve lost that right, Jada. I don’t think I can lead these guys anymore.”
Chapter 49
Ryker
The shop smells of oil. I sit in the back of it with my knees pulled up to my chest, my face buried in my hands. Life has always had a way of kicking my ass. Memories rush me as I try to block them out. Nothing works though, nothing takes the pain away. Hearing noises, I don’t bother to look up. I don’t care who it is. If it’s Rit or his boys, then let them take me. I’ve given up. There’s a hollow spot inside of me where my heart used to be.
“I’ve been looking for you.” Jersey’s voice flows through me, but I don’t look up at her. I was supposed to be the man here. The one that took care of her, protected her, and now all that has slipped between my fingers too.
“Creed lost it over at Angel’s.” I still don’t look up. I just let out a grunt. I’m sure he did. He was on the edge just like the rest of us. Hell, I’m not far from that shit myself.
“Ryker, talk to me.” The sadness in her voice hurts me. My chest constricts as all the air is sucked from my lungs. I want nothing more than to be ok with her, for her.
“I don’t know what to say Jersey.” I can feel her sliding down the wall next to me before her arm wraps around my shoulder.
“I don’t either. Torch wouldn’t want you guys like this though.” My head snaps up as my eyes lock with hers.
“What the fuck do you know about what Torch would want?” I know I sound harsh, but it’s true.
“I know he wouldn’t want you sitting around like this. I know how much he loved you guys.” Pushing myself up, I stand looking down at her. All my nerves firing off in unison.
“You don’t know shit! He died because of me!” Jersey jumps up off the floor pushing me in the chest. Her hands on me ignite a fire that I’m not sure how to handle.
“No Ryker! He died for you, not because of you!” Grabbing her by the shoulders, I shove her against the wall. Her eyes widen before she sucks in a breath.
“You don’t have the fuckin’ right to say that shit to me Jersey! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Screaming in her face, I grip her shoulders tighter. Fear is etched across that beautiful face of hers. I hate seeing that on her.
“I have every right Ryker! You guys have walked around like fucking zombies for days! None of you are handling business. None of you are being men!” Jersey snaps, screaming back into my face. Her rage isn’t unwarranted either. She speaks nothing but the truth right now. None of us have been ourselves and it’s hurting this club, hurting the ones we love.
“I’m not a man? Is that what you think?” Pressing my body into hers, I wait for her to answer.
“No Ryker. I think us women are being the men for you. We have taken over your roles.” The look on her face sends jolts throughout my body. She’s not mad, she’s pissed, and she’s right.
We’ve let ourselves go until they had to pick up our pieces. What kind of men does that make us? Letting go of her shoulders, I wrap my hand around her neck, squeezing slightly.
“You want me to show you what kind of man I am?” Leaning in close to her ear, I can feel her little body shiver.
“You don’t have it in you.” She growls at me. Pulling back, I look in her eyes before sliding my hand between her legs. This little skirt leaves little to the imagination. I can feel just how wet she is right now.
“Try me.” My words leave my lips before her lips slam frantically into mine. Tasting her, touching her, it all ignites a fire in me. Reaching between us, I undo my jeans letting them fall to the floor before I lift her, pinning her against the wall. Teasing her entrance with my dick, I suck the side of her neck.
“Tell me again that I don’t have it in me.” Biting her neck, she screams. Yeah, that’s what I thought. I slam her little body down on my dick as I rock my hips into her. Thrusting into her with everything I have in me, feels so good.
My stomach trembles when I feel her nails on my skin. Rolling my hips, I lean back and take in her beauty. Her breasts bounce the harder I slam into her.
Her eyes sparkle as they lock with mine. I know I haven’t been the man I need to be, but that changes, and it changes now. If I have to take over the roll as President for Creed, I will fucking do it. This club needs to get its shit together before there isn’t a club left.
Chapter 50
Tank
Long days, turn into longer nights. The club’s eerily quiet with no Angel chasers in site. The music that once filled these walls ceases to exist anymore. I sit in the back of the room with a beer bottle in my hand when Bella walks over. She drops on the couch next to me before laying her head on my shoulder.
“You ok dad?” Dad. Those three little letters. Something I haven’t been in weeks.
“I don’t know baby girl. I’m at a loss right now.” Snuggling in closer, I wrap my arm around her shoulder and hold her. “You know; I remember the day you were born.” Having her near me makes me remember. The slight chuckle makes her giggle.
“You were freaked out weren’t you?” Sighing, I pull her as close as I can get her.
“No. Your mom was. That nurse passed you to me and my world collapsed around me. You opened those big blue eyes of yours and looked up at me, like you knew who I was.” Bella tips her head so she’s looking up at me.
“I did know. I’ve always known. When she took me away from you, I thought about you all the time. I had a picture that I found in her stuff one night. She was gone and I was bored. I always remembered you. Bald head and everything.” Bella giggles as I turn my face to look at her.
“Hey, you had this bald head when you were born.” Ruffling her hair with my hand she grins.
“You know you’re the best dad, right?” Shaking my head, I don’t believe that, not anymore.
“I don’t think I have been.” Bella sits up a little looking me in the eyes.
“Dad, you have always been the best. Even Dougie told me that you were looking for me for years. No one knew where she took me, but I knew in my heart that you were out there waiting for me.” A tear slides down her cheek before I wipe it away.
“I’d wait for you forever Bella. You are my baby girl; you always will be.” Pulling her into me, I hug her. Holding her tight, I never want to let this girl go again. I don’t plan to.
“Dad, your choking me out.” Bella giggles as I loosen my grip on her.
“Can we cook out? I know things are rough right now, but you know Torch would be cooking out.” Looking down at the look in her eyes, I know she’s right.
“He’d be burnin’ shit. Drunk off his ass with a burnt hot dog in his hand.” Bella laughs, and that noise fills me with joy. She’s right though. Torch wouldn’t sit around like this. He’d make the best of another day on this earth. That’s how he was. A crazy son of a bitch that
enjoyed every day he was given.
“You know what. I think it’s a good idea. Let’s round everyone up.” Kissing her forehead, she nods before standing up. Offering her hand to me, I take it in mine.
“When the hell did you get this tall?” Setting my hand on the top of her head she laughs.
“Please. I’m freaking barely five foot four. If that’s tall, I hate to see what short is.” Bella laughs as we walk down the hall toward the bedrooms.
“Cher ain’t much taller than you. Maybe you two could join the circus together. Squeeze in that tiny car.” Bella slaps the hell out of me before I laugh hysterically pushing the bedroom door open.
“What are you two doing?” Cher smiles as we go in. Bella jumps on my back before she talks.
“Dad thinks we’re too short to be normal. He thinks we should join the circus.” Pulling at my ear like she did when she was little makes me smile.
“It was a suggestion. I thought you’d be perfect for the little car.” Cher moves in on me now, too. The two girls that mean the most to me in the world are right here in my arms.
Looking at the two of them, I know what I need to do.
Chapter 51
Creed
Lighting the grill’s up out back seems surreal. It’s been a long time since we’ve done this. It doesn’t feel right, but I know we need this time.
“Uncle Creed, don’t burn mine!” Bella smiles as I look over at her.
“Oh come on Bella. I don’t burn that shit, that’s your dad.” Watching the smile on her face reminds me of Jada when she was younger. Innocent, and full of life.
