by ST Bende
“Well, yes I must sleep sometimes. I just need far less than you do to function. Immortal bodies are exceptionally efficient.” He didn’t say anything else on the subject, just walked me to my room and took my face in his hands. “God natt, Kristia Tostenson,” he murmured. I eyed him warily, both hopeful and anxious to repeat that kiss – the one that had nearly been the end of me. But he bent to kiss me chastely with the softest lips imaginable.
My disappointment must have been obvious because he chuckled. “Soon enough.” He touched my cheek before he leaned to whisper into my ear. I caught a hint of the faintly woodsy smell that was so delicious, I leaned in involuntarily. “I hope you have beautiful dreams,” he murmured. With that, he walked down the hall, filling the frame of his bedroom door. With one more glance over his broad shoulder, he was gone and I was left standing with the embarrassing realization that my mouth was a little bit open. Beautiful dreams… I was pretty sure I was in one.
While I lay in bed that night, the rosy mist started to clear from my mind. The realities of my day settled in, much more heavily than I expected. Ull was amazing; I’d already known that. But he was also celestial – an actual god. And while that kind of made him even more incredible, and definitely more exciting than the boys I’d known in Nehalem, it brought serious complications.
My brain, slowly lazing through its blissful fog, was beginning to grasp that this man was not meant for me. I couldn’t think of any myth in which a human and a god had a successful go at a relationship. And I wasn’t naïve enough to think I’d be the human to change the game.
It wasn’t an ideal situation. I was falling for a man – correction, a god – who was totally and completely perfect, at the same time I was totally and completely human. That pairing was more than unnatural – it was a ticking bomb. When – and it was a matter of when, not if – when Ull realized how wrong we were for each other, he would dump me faster than he could skip to the next coed or goddess or fairy princess or whoever else was lined up to date him. And then what would I do?
A worry shared is a worry halved, and there was only one person I knew with the relationship-savvy to handle this. I did the mental math. It was early evening in New York. Ardis would definitely pick up. I dialed my mobile with shaking fingers.
“Hey, Girl!” Ardis answered on the first ring. “What are you doing calling me? I know, I know, you don’t have FaceTime. You have got to set up your Skype. This is going to cost you a fortune!”
I didn’t care. Just hearing her voice made me feel better.
“Ardis,” I said quietly. I didn’t want Ull to hear me. “I’m so glad you answered.”
“Did you get my e-mail about those shoes? Can you believe I got a pair of Louboutins at Odds & Ends?” The discount retailer had been one of our favorite haunts on our rare trips to Portland, and Ardis was still a frequent shopper of the chain in New York. “I mean, seriously – I was so destined to have those shoes.”
It was refreshing to think about something as trivial as shoes, so I asked about Ardis’ shopping trip just to give my mind a break. But I knew I’d have to bite the bullet eventually, or my phone bill would be sky high.
“Ardis,” I began tentatively. “I have guy problems.”
“Already? You go girl! In Wales less than a month and already you’re rockin’ it. Wait.” Her tone turned accusing. “You haven’t mentioned any guys in your letters. Spill. What’s his name?”
“I just started seeing this guy. His name is Ull–”
“Ull? Wow, Kristia. I have to say; you know how to pick ‘em. Seriously, his name is Ull?”
“It’s not exactly like I’ve met a whole lot of Ardises,” I pointed out. “But yeah, I thought the same thing.”
“Fair enough,” she conceded. “So what’s going on?”
“Well, we just started dating. But I’m sort of at his country house for the weekend, and–”
Ardis’ laughter rang clear across the miles. “You brazen hussy! You’re spending the weekend? Who are you over there?”
“No, it’s not like that. He’s in his room, I’m in mine.”
“Too bad.” Ardis sounded disappointed. “So is that what’s wrong? Not enough hanky panky?”
“Ardis!” But I hesitated. I couldn’t tell Ardis the whole story. I was fairly certain Ull’s… divinity – I couldn’t even think the word without twitching – that his divinity wasn’t something I should talk about. If I was vague, I could tell Ardis the most important parts, and I knew she would have the words to reassure me. She always did. I dove in. “This whole relationship is happening really fast. And it’s all new to me – you know I don’t have a lot of experience with this stuff.”
“Tell me about it,” came Ardis’ dry reply.
“But I really, really like him. And he likes me back. It’s crazy. He says he wants to be with me.” I whispered the last part in awe.
“Then what’s the problem?” Ardis was confused. So was I. Saying the words out loud made it sound so simple.
“The problem is… he’s too good for me. He’s smart, rich, and unbelievably gorgeous. He’s got this totally adorable grandmother that he just dotes on. His family is really powerful, and way more important than me, and they live really far away and would never think in a million years I could possibly be good enough for Ull. I mean we come from totally different worlds.” That was an understatement. Asgard and Earth were as different as a bobcat and a bunny. “In the end, he’s going to have to realize that there are girls out there who are better suited for him, his equal, prettier, smarter, maybe from where he’s from… I don’t even know where we would live if we were together, or how his family could possibly accept me, or how I could ask him to have such a boring life with me instead of the fantastic life he has by himself… but I just… really like him.” My voice trailed off.
“Shhh,” Ardis soothed, all bravado gone. “Kristia, sweetie, it’s going to be okay. I promise. So, let me recap. You like Ull. And he likes you. And you think you want to be together. But you’re afraid you’re not good enough for him. Does that sum it up?”
“Yes,” I said thickly into the phone.
“Sweetheart. First of all, you have got to stop thinking so little of yourself. You are an awesome woman. This Ull guy is lucky to have you, not the other way around! Don’t you ever forget it.” That seemed unlikely, but Ardis pushed on like the good friend she was. “Second, there isn’t going to be a problem with his family. No decent parents alive would dare to disapprove of you. Not only because you are a fantastic, kind, warm-hearted girl, but also because their son has chosen you. It’s parental suicide to disapprove of the girlfriend, trust me.” It was true. Ardis and her womanly charms had come between more than a few sons and their mothers. “And third, none of that matters. If you guys are really that into each other, then the rest is just details. You, the biggest prude I’ve ever met, are spending the weekend at this guy’s house. He’s clearly gotten to you.”
“His country house.” Nobody wants to be misleading. “If we were on campus I’d go back to my flat.”
“Exactly, Grandma. If you’re so comfortable with him that you’re already taking a trip together, he’s pretty special. Everything will work out. It will. I’m not saying it will be easy, but if you guys are really that committed to each other, it would take a lot more than the stuff you’re afraid of to keep you apart. So relax.”
My world had righted itself once again. Ardis always knew what to say. “Thank you Ardis. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” My eyes felt dewy. “I miss you.”
“Aw, I miss you too, girl! I can’t wait to come visit you this summer. I’ve never been to Europe!”
“Well we are from Nehalem. We’re not exactly world travelers.”
“Not yet!” Ever the optimist. “Oops. I have to go – my date’s here. But e-mail me when you get back to school and tell me how the weekend went. Try to have some fun.” She emphasized the last word and I imagined her wiggling her eyebr
ows suggestively. The knot in my chest felt considerably looser as we got off the phone. Ardis’ words always hit home. I liked Ull – a lot. And he liked me. The rest was just stuff to be handled together. But exactly how much ‘stuff’ came along with dating a Norse god?
Chapter Ten
BY MORNING, MY OVERWORKED brain was moving like a herd of turtles. Ardis had helped me through my hysteria, but I was still coming up with every possible reason this relationship was doomed. I was too beat to indulge in a freak-out. Mormor always said there was no point in borrowing trouble. Besides, Ull kept me too busy to worry by showing me around Bibury.
“I think I need new rainboots.” I padded into the library in a fresh pair of socks. My first pair got soaked in the downpour that ended our walk.
“You think?” Ull held up a blanket and patted the couch next to him. I settled into the spot.
“Nice fire.” I was impressed. He’d set it up and made two cups of tea in the time it had taken me to change.
“I am God of Winter. I should be good for something.”
“Glad to know you’re not slacking just because you’re on vacation.”
“Oh Kristia, I am never on vacation. Odin can summon me at any time. Though I do consider it my duty to protect you from the elements raging outside.” He pulled my legs across his lap, and gently massaged my thigh. My breath caught as I fought the impulse to pull him down on the couch. Something told me the God of Self Restraint wouldn’t appreciate my hormones as much as I hoped he would.
“Well protect away, Your Holiness.” My wisecrack was drowned by a clap of thunder. “Is that your family calling?”
“Funny, Kristia.”
“I thought so.” Laughing was easier than thinking about how absurd our situation actually was. The cutest guy on campus moonlighted as a fierce Asgardian warrior. Not exactly the hobby I’d imagined my first serious boyfriend would have.
“Can I ask you more questions?” I rested my head on his shoulder and watched the rain pelt the window.
“Ask away.”
“You’re a lot older than me, aren’t you?”
Ull shifted beneath me. His silence spoke volumes.
“That’s a yes.”
“Does that make you uncomfortable, Kristia?”
“Does it make you uncomfortable?” The best defense was always an offense.
“It does,” he admitted. “You have been alive less than two decades. I have been alive… considerably longer. It is hard not to feel untoward when I think about my intentions for you.”
“Untoward?” I covered my mouth.
“Stop laughing.” The tops of his ears turned pink.
“I’m sorry. It’s just sometimes the way you talk is so…” Old? Antiquated? Out of date? “Proper,” I finished. “My grandmother would have found you charming.”
“Your grandmother would have found me inappropriate. It is not right for a man my age to want to do the kinds of things I plan to do to an eighteen-year-old.”
Now it was my turn to blush.
“Does it bother you that I’m younger than you?” I bit my lip.
“It is not going to stop me from pursuing you, if that is what you are asking.”
“Fair enough. Can I ask something else?” My fingers traced the lines of his chest as I settled my head back on his shoulder.
“Shoot.”
“How did you end up God of Winter?” It seemed like a softball question. But when Ull froze, I realized I’d touched on a nerve. I made myself very interested in my fingernails. “Sorry, that was personal. It’s none of my business.”
“No, I want to tell you. I just want you to know the man I am now, not the killer I used to be.” It was my turn to freeze, but I pushed the feeling down, desperate to know everything.
“I don’t understand.”
Ull’s shoulders dropped. “I am not a particularly upstanding man, Kristia.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“You should. I have done heinous things – things you could not imagine. I have killed thousands – not that they did not deserve it. I tortured uncooperative hostiles in the name of interrogation. And pursuing you like this when I know what my fate holds… I have no right to be with you.”
“Ull, believe me. I’m not perfect either.” In fact, I was all kinds of crazy, but this conversation wasn’t about me and my mental problem.
“You are kind to me.” Ull lifted a finger to my cheek.
“So how did you come to be this terrible guy?” My eyebrow shot up. “You seem more the puppy-dog type at the moment.”
Ull blinked. “I was born to be a warrior. My mother is the most accomplished warrior goddess of all time. Not only does she hold the most kills of any female, but her accuracy is unmatched.” Well butter my flapjacks, my boyfriend’s mom was a trained killer. “My father died in battle before I reached school age. When my mother remarried, we moved in with Thor.”
“Scary stepdad?” I turned my palms to lace my fingers through Ull’s.
“At times. But he was also a tremendous resource. Before I became God of Winter, I was part of the Elite Team – Asgard’s top assassins.”
“How was that?”
“It was… tolerable… until a target begged for his life. Said he had children waiting at home. That was the turning point. I set the target free and asked Odin for a new post.”
“What did he say?”
“He was displeased. But I became God of Winter and have served there since. I took a short break once.” His face darkened. “But I came back.”
“And now you’re here.”
Ull winked at me, and my insides suddenly felt sloshy. “I like living in your realm.”
“Why?” I’d take Asgard over Nehalem in a heartbeat.
“Because I can be myself here. My pull to this realm has always been a mystery. Perhaps, all along, I was waiting for you to show up.” He touched my chin and held my gaze for an endless moment. The air between us filled with the delicious build of anticipation. My hands ached to stroke the stubble along his jaw line, but I kept myself still as Ull brought his face down with agonizing slowness. He rubbed his nose along my throat, inhaling so a light chill settled along my neck. When he reached the spot just below my earlobe, he pressed his lips lightly against the delicate skin. A thick fog clouded my head and my body responded unthinkingly. My palms gripped his biceps as I pulled myself on top of him. I threw my legs on either side of his lap and turned away from his kiss so our foreheads were touching. As I moved to press against him, Ull gently pushed me away.
“We don’t have to stop.” My breath was uneven.
“We do. My mother raised me well.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning we are only just dating. So we do have to stop.”
“Seriously?” I did not see that one coming.
“Mortals,” Ull chuckled. “So impatient. Do you really think you know enough about me to decide whether you want to be with me?”
“I want to be with you. Honest.” It wasn’t just the hormones talking. I really liked him.
“You say that now.” He chuckled again. “Shall we continue our discussion? I am sure you have more questions.”
“Okay, fine.” I waited for the blood to move back up to my brain. Apparently I didn’t wait long enough, because I blurted out, “Why were you so mean to me in the British Museum?”
“I do not know what you are talking about.”
“Come on, Ull. Give me some credit.” I stared at him until he looked away.
“Because I knew who you were.”
“You knew I was Kristia Tostenson?”
“No. I knew you were meant to be my wife.” I pulled back, but Ull quickly wrapped both arms around me. “No, please. Just listen.”
I slowly resumed blinking.
“Remember the first day of class, when Professor Carnicke talked about the Norns?”
“The prophets,” I whispered.
“Correct. Well, you and I
shared the same Norn. Her name was Elsker – the name means Love in Norwegian. She prophesied I would be a Warrior, live alone, and give my life for my people. When you were born, my future changed. Elsker said if I wanted to take a partner, I could find you at Cardiff in eighteen years.”
“And… marry me.”
“Eventually, yes.”
“That doesn’t explain why you were so mean to me. If anything, I’d think you’d be nice to the person who was supposed to spare you from what sounds like a really depressing life.”
“I was not finished.”
“Oh. Sorry, Your Excellency.”
“Kristia,” Ull growled.
“Okay, okay. Finish.”
“I was mean to you because, despite Elsker’s prophecy, there is an absolute ban on Asgardian-Mortal relationships. The Norns are forbidden from mingling the fates of gods and mortals. Elsker broke the rule. I would never have turned her in, but we have this… questionable figure in Asgard. Loki. He found out what Elsker did, and she was banished for her betrayal. I never got to talk to her again.”
“That’s terrible.”
“I was mean to you because I knew that even though we were meant to be together, we never could be. Odin would never allow our relationship. Besides, I am fated to die with the rest of my family, so it is not like we could have any sort of a happy ever after. It hurt to be so close to you and to know I could not have you.”
“Oh, Ull.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “I had no idea.”
“How could you? I did not explain.”
“I know, but… I’m still sorry.”
“No, I am sorry. I hurt you. But honestly, it was never my intention to do anything but protect you.”
“I see that now.” I squeezed his arm. “Can I ask another question?”
“Go ahead.”
“What really happened during the time you were away?” He’d obviously kept a lot from me.
Ull laughed sharply at being called out. “I was telling the truth when I told you I had gone to see my family, to see whether I could be with you without endangering your life. Getting a straight answer from them was complicated.”
