by ST Bende
“Ooh, now we get to buy wedding magazines! We have to scout venues, choose flowers, colors, the cake–”
“Don’t go crazy Em,” I interrupted. “We’re going to have a little ceremony at the Seaman’s Church after graduation. No magazines required. Honest.”
But she ignored me. The next night, our tiny flat was overrun with thick bridal magazines. None of them were mine.
“Of course she’ll wear the satin mermaid gown.” Victoria pointed to a glossy page. “The feathers clipped just so on her fascinator.” It took me an hour to figure out that a fascinator was a hat.
“Oh, Victoria! She’s so going to wear the lace ball gown, the one with the extra crinoline underneath so it has more oomph. And a long veil,” Emma countered disdainfully.
“Uh, guys? I’m wearing my grandmother’s dress. It’s coming in the mail, um, pretty soon I hope.” Nobody was listening to me.
Well, it beat thinking about the god thing. And it was kind of fun to look at all the shiny brides.
The next weekend, I knocked on Ull’s door. He and Gunnar had gone to a rugby match at Millennium Stadium and Inga and I had a date to watch the Sports Wives marathon. As I’d predicted, Inga had become one of my closest friends, and I knew she’d be happy as a hog in a mud hole about the package I’d brought her.
“Olaug’s Apple Tarts!” Inga ripped the bag from my hands and flitted to the kitchen, returning with an artfully arranged platter and two steaming mugs.
“How’d you get these?” She bit into a pastry.
“I found them on my porch. She must have dropped them by on her way to London this morning.”
“The little sneak. Bless her heart.” Inga gave me a pointed look.
“What?” I mumbled around a full mouth of apple-y goodness.
“You haven’t shown me your ring.”
“Oh my gosh, Inga!” I held out my hand. It was the first time we’d been together since Ull proposed. “Can you believe we’re going to be married?”
“It’s about bloody time. Ull has been alone for so long.” Everyone kept saying that. “What are you going to do about… well, you know…” The god thing.
“What did Ull tell you?”
“Not a whole lot. He’s really private, even after all this time. He did tell us you wanted to join up, but there was some kind of issue with Thor.”
“Yeah. I’m not sure what to do about that.”
“I am.” Inga laughed, bell-like sounds filling the flat. “Ull’s private, but I have ways of getting information. When Ull said you wanted to be one of us, I went to my dad.”
“Of course you did.” Inga was a woman of action and Jens seemed unable to say no to his only daughter. “What did he tell you?”
“Odin is not happy with Thor. Losing Ull this close to Ragnarok – it’s one of the worst things that could happen. Ull really is unmatched as a warrior, you know.” She beamed. “And if you were to fight under his tutelage, Odin knows you would be a tremendous asset to Asgard too.” I tried not to think about studying combat under Ull.
“So what’s Odin’s plan?”
“Well,” she bit her lip, “he’s not sure. You can’t join us without the magic of Mjölnir, and Odin can’t force it against Thor’s will. The only way you can become one of us is if you can change Thor’s mind. You have to make him want you to be a goddess.”
I threw my hands up. “How am I supposed to do that? He hates me.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Inga shook her head. “Kristia, I know Ull went over this with you. Thor doesn’t think or do anything that isn’t founded entirely on reason. If he believes that you will be a detriment to the realm, he’ll never agree to change you. But if you can show him you’re an asset, especially now… well, then he might change his mind.”
I saw where this was going. But I was trying to follow Ull’s edict. “Isn’t losing Ull enough reason to change me?”
“It should be, but it’s not. Thor thinks Ull will come around, that he’ll realize he shouldn’t turn his back on Asgard for a girl.”
“He shouldn’t.” I felt sick about that.
“Oh, stop it. Thor shouldn’t make him choose. That’s what’s wrong here.” Inga sputtered.
“So I have to convince Thor I can help? That’s the only way I’m getting into Asgard?”
“Pretty much. Got any hidden talents?”
Boy did I. “Well. Yes. But Ull doesn’t want me to tell Thor about it.”
“What is it?”
“I can see the future.”
Inga choked on a piece of pastry. “Excuse me?”
“I can see the future. I can’t control it or anything, and I hardly ever see anything important.”
“And you failed to mention this because…”
“It’s kind of embarrassing.” I shrugged. “It makes me seem crazy.”
“Ull knows about this?” Inga put her plate on the table.
“Yes.”
“And he won’t let you tell Thor about it? That’s the kind of thing that would make him reconsider, for sure.”
“I know it is. Ull thinks it’s too dangerous. Apparently, people who see things are hot commodities to bad guys.”
“He’s right about that.” Inga picked up her teacup. “Who else knows about this around here?”
“Here? Nobody. Just Ull. I didn’t tell Olaug.”
“Huh.” Inga stared out the window. When she looked back, her eyes were shining. “You’re going to tell Thor anyway, aren’t you?”
“I’m thinking about it. I don’t want to go against Ull, but if there’s no other way to change Thor’s mind, I kind of have to tell him. Don’t I?”
“Yes. You do.” Inga picked up the remote and muted the bickering Sports Wives. “Now tell me everything about your ability. We need to come up with a plan.”
Chapter Eighteen
AT THE END OF January, I returned from a weekend at Ýdalir to a big box on my doorstep. I carried it inside and lifted out its contents. My grandmother’s wedding dress was so beautiful. It would hardly need to be altered to fit me. A note of parental congratulations rested at the bottom of the box, along with another envelope – this one with my name written in Mormor’s handwriting. A faded sticky note on top of the envelope said, “Give to Kristia on her wedding day.” Wedding day, my foot.
I ripped open the envelope and started to read.
‘Dearest Kristia,’ it began. ‘If you are reading this letter, I did not make it to your wedding. I know you will make a beautiful bride. I wish I could offer you pearls of marital wisdom, but the truth is I just got lucky with your grandfather. I have every confidence that your choice in husband will be just as remarkable.
Kristia, a few months ago a woman named Elsie joined my bridge club. She only stayed in town for a bit, and just before she left she asked me to give you a note. She may have been a few pies short of picnic, but since I never saw her again, I’ll never know for sure.
Her message is in this envelope. She asked that I not read it, and I honored her request. Something about her made me feel that she really did have your best interests at heart. I hope I wasn’t wrong.
I love you very much, and I wish I could have been there to see you as a bride. Keep your chin up and your shoulders back, and enjoy every minute of your big day.
Jeg elsker deg,
Mormor’
My curiosity piqued, I reached into the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of paper. On the outside it read:
‘If Kristia is to marry a man named Ull, please give her this message on or before her wedding day.’ Well, that was weird.
The message continued on the inside: ‘Kristia, If your betrothed is named Ull Myhr, then my Ull has found you. Thank Odin! Your union is the key to saving Asgard and Midgard from destruction at Ragnarok. On the day you were born, I recognized your gift – you are a powerful seer. As a human this was probably inconvenient, but as a goddess your gift will allow you to travel through the realms undetected, to se
e present and future events. You will foresee the battle plans of Asgard’s enemies, and tell Odin how to fight them at Ragnarok. You are to be Asgard’s greatest protector.
Since I was never able to tell the Three Sisters about you, they still believe Ragnarok will mark the end of the gods. And as part of my punishment, I am forbidden from seeking out any Asgardian. But if you should ever need me, hold your grandmother’s necklace and say my name. I will find you.
I wish you and Ull lifetimes of peace and joy.
Elsker’
So I was right. My fingers clutched the two pieces of paper, one from the grandmother I’d loved with all of my heart, and one from a stranger who risked everything to help me find my destiny. I sat for so long, it grew dark outside. I pulled my sweater tight around me. Twenty years of crazy visions made sense now. I played my life back in rewind, thinking of all the things I’d seen that had come to fruition. I’d always thought I was nuttier than a fruitcake in a pecan factory, but now I saw my ability with different eyes. It was the key to convincing Thor I was an asset; my ticket into Asgard. But it wouldn’t come cheap – spying on Asgard’s enemies could cost me everything.
It was a price I was willing to pay.
“She said what?” I could hear Ull’s teeth grinding together through the phone.
“I told you not to freak out. She said what I’ve been trying to tell you all along – I’m meant to be a goddess. My visions are meant to help Asgard. I’m supposed to use them to spy on our enemies. And if I do, there won’t even be a Ragnarok. I was right.”
“No. Absolutely not, no. I cannot allow anything happen to you.”
“You aren’t allowing anything. This is what’s meant to be. This is my destiny.”
“I absolutely cannot agree to this. I do not care what you believe your destiny to be. Your destiny is not to run headfirst into what is obviously a trap. You could be killed, Kristia. And I could not go on if I lost you.”
“You don’t think I can handle this, do you? You don’t think I’m strong enough.” It was impossible to keep the indignation out of my voice.
“It does not matter how strong you are. You are to be my wife, and I will not have the woman I love put herself at risk. Ever.”
“You have to believe in me,” I pleaded. “I can do this. I know I can.”
“You do not know what you are asking,” Ull growled. “There are monsters out there that you cannot begin to imagine. You think the trolls from Mythology class sounded scary? Try facing down a battalion of irate fire giants. They burn anything in their path on sight; their uprisings rarely leave a single survivor; and only a handful of Asgard’s assassins have ever made it out of Muspelheim alive. And that is just one race. The dark elves have the power to remove your soul. The jotuns can freeze your heart. You have had no combat training – none. Do you really think you are ready to face the demons of our underworlds?”
“Fine. Maybe I’m not ready to go to all those awful places. I didn’t say I knew how I was going to help Asgard. But I know I can help Asgard. I want to help Asgard. And whether you sign off on it or not, I am going to help Asgard. Now you can fight me all you want on this. But I have a piece of paper from a renegade Norn that says it’s my duty to protect you and your family. And by gum, I am going to do everything in my power to make that happen.”
“Why can you not just do as I ask? I am trying to protect you, Kristia!” Ull sounded like he might be shaking.
“Because it’s not about me anymore. Elsker put this all together before I was even born. You were always supposed to find me so you could change me. We were meant to be together so we could save our realms.”
“Be that as it may, I cannot allow you to do this. You are not to put yourself at risk. I do not know how I would live without you.”
It was hard to argue with him when he said things like that. I tried another angle. “Okay, but think about this. Ragnarok is coming, whether I’m a goddess or not. And if I’m human, according to that prophecy, we’re all going to die. So I’m a goner in that scenario. At least if we try Elsker’s way, we have a chance at a future together.”
Rather than admit I had a point, Ull spent a full minute muttering about how this entire situation was too dangerous and how dare Elsker risk his woman’s life for the sake of Asgard. It was kind of cute. But it made me realize I’d have to talk to Thor without him. If I was trying save the entire cosmos, I didn’t need father and son working against me.
I was grateful to see the number flashing on my mobile. I’d been planning strategy with Inga for the last hour, and it would be a relief to talk to Ardis for a while.
“Inga? Can I call you back later? Ardis is on the other line.”
“Sure. Talk soon.” Inga hung up and I clicked over.
“Ardis,” my relief was audible, “How are you?”
“I’m great!” Her voice was ecstatic. “I got the lead in the musical! I’m going to be Sandy!”
“Wow, that’s great – congratulations!” I wracked my brain to try to remember the play Sandy was in. My theatre knowledge was limited. “So you’re doing…”
“Grease!” Ardis laughed, a happy sound that lifted me from my mood.
“Sorry, I knew that. I think.”
“You did. We only watched it, like, a dozen times when we were little. Remember? We used to sneak the movie into my room, because my parents didn’t like the language. It wasn’t even that bad!”
“I do remember that. Sorry, I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“Spill.”
“First, let’s talk about you. When do your start rehearsals?”
“Next week! The great news is that the show’s going to be at the end of the semester, after awards season so critics can come to see us! I might get an agent from it!”
“Oh my gosh, that’s incredible.”
“I know, right? The bad news is that it’s at the end of the semester, so I won’t be able to fly out the day after school ends, like we’d planned. I’ll make it in time for the wedding though, don’t worry.” She barely stopped to breathe. “The last performance is two nights before your big day, so I’ll catch the first flight out, and with the time change, I should be there a day early. I wouldn’t miss that for anything!”
“Oh, Ardis! What would I do without you?”
“Oh, you’d probably be in Nehalem working in your parents’ shop and pining away for some half-hunky lumberjack,” she laughed.
“That is a disturbingly accurate picture of what could have been. Thanks for the reminder.”
“Meh, what are friends for?” I could almost see her shrug, and suddenly I missed her so much my stomach ached. “Now what’s going on across the pond?”
“Nothing. Everything. I’m still trying to figure out how to make Ull’s parents like me.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. They seriously don’t like you?”
“Nope. Not even a little. Well,” I amended, “his mom is okay with me. But his dad is definitely not. So I have this… meeting with Ull’s dad. Sort of a last ditch effort. My friend Inga is going to help me sell him on why I’ll make a good wife for his son.”
“Wait, why doesn’t his dad think you’ll be a good wife?” True friend that she was, Ardis was indignant.
“Turns out he’d sort of planned on Ull marrying this other girl, Skadi, and he still thinks she’s a better fit for him than me.”
“Seriously? Skadi? What kind of a name is that? I’ll bet she’s 200 pounds and has messed up teeth.”
“Ardis!”
“Well, it’s probably true.”
“Probably.” I grinned, hoping fervently that Skadi was the first ugly goddess in the history of mythology. “But it doesn’t matter either way. Ull told him he wouldn’t marry Skadi – that he was marrying me, and that was that.”
“I like this Ull more every time we talk. He sounds like a real man.”
“You have no idea,” I muttered. “Problem is, his dad pretty much disowned him for saying
that.” I wanted to tell Ardis as much as I could without violating Asgard’s secrecy. “If Ull marries me, he can never go home again. He won’t have his family, and he won’t be able to be there for them if they ever need him.”
“Kristia. You know that’s not true. There is no way this guy’s mom is going to lose her son like that. She’ll make Ull’s dad come around.”
“I don’t think she can. His dad is super stubborn. The only way he’d change his mind is if I can convince him that I’m as good as Skadi.”
“Well that should be easy enough. First of all, your name isn’t Skadi. So there’s a point in your favor.”
I giggled.
“What? Just keeping it real. Second,” Ardis picked up steam, “Ull chose you. He knows his heart. His dad doesn’t, and he can’t force him to feel something. Especially for someone named Skadi. You know, I bet she has really bad skin, too.”
“I love you Ardis.”
“I know. And third, you are so way better for Ull than this Skadi chick. You’re smart. You’re incredibly kind. You’d do anything to help the people you love. You have fabulous judgment. And you have me rooting for you. You can’t lose.”
“That simple, huh?”
“That simple.” Ardis paused. “I am sorry he’s giving you a hard time though. That has to hurt your feelings.”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Don’t worry, Kristia. He’ll come around.”
“Yeah, maybe. Now tell me all about your play.”
“Well, the guy playing Danny is super cute – and he’s straight!” With that Ardis was off, giving me a much-needed break from thinking about the task ahead of me.
“He’s coming – hurry!” Olaug, Inga and I scrambled into place as Olaug put down the phone that linked to Asgard. It was time. Thor was going to show up on the screen any minute, and this was my only chance to convince him to change me. If this failed, we were out of options. Ull would become a human, the gods would lose at Ragnarok, and Earth and Asgard would disappear forever.
