by ST Bende
“I heard that.” I shoved my thumb through the new hole in my sweater and made a fist.
“Don’t be a weenie. Come on.” She marched toward the house. I followed behind, wobbling like the seniors in Mormor’s bridge club after one too many egg-salad sandwiches. I was suddenly super queasy.
“Hei hei, Kristia,” Olaug greeted me from inside. “Happy wedding day.”
My anxiety ebbed. Whatever else happened, this day would end with a wedding.
“I get to marry him today.” I looked at Olaug’s shining eyes.
“You get to marry him today.” She beamed back at me. “Let’s just do one little thing first.”
“You lied to me. It’s going to hurt.”
“I won’t let it.” She took my hand and walked me down the hall. Ull’s bedroom had been set up like a laboratory. Heavy white tapestries hung over the windows and his furniture was pushed to the walls. A stainless steel table stood in the corner, holding a range of tubes, vials, and three disconcertingly large needles. In the center of the room stood one high-backed chair with straps on the armrests.
I felt lost as last year’s Easter egg.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered. My eyes were locked on the restraint-laden chair.
“It’s just a precaution,” Inga pleaded. “We don’t know what to expect.”
I took a deep breath. “Right.”
“You don’t have to do it, Kristia.” Olaug stood directly in front of me, shaking her head.
“Yes, I do.” I squeezed my eyes shut and pictured standing at the altar with Ull. I wanted to go through with this—for us. “It’s just…”
“I know.” She squeezed my arm and helped me into the chair.
“So what happens now?” I closed my eyes as Olaug snapped the arm restraints into place.
“Idunn will prep you.” Inga came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders.
“Idunn, Goddess of Wisdom, Idunn?” My eyes flew open.
“One and the same.” An absolute vision walked into the room. The woman was dressed head-to-toe in white, with thick brown hair and piercing blue eyes. She crossed to the steel table and put on a pair of surgical gloves. “Sorry I’m late, I was just washing up.”
“Hei,” Olaug greeted at the goddess.
Inga nodded nervously. “Hey.”
“Morning,” I croaked.
“Ladies,” Idunn responded with a smile. She picked up one of the vials and came to stand beside me. After pouring the liquid onto a cotton ball, she dabbed at my temples. I sucked in a sharp breath. That burned.
“It’s okay. The stinging will pass quickly.” Idunn was right. She crossed back to the table and swapped the vial for another, repeating the procedure on my throat and wrists. She moved with the assurance of someone who’d done this a hundred times before, though of course that couldn’t be.
“So, you work as a surgeon?” I asked hopefully.
“No. We don’t have surgeons in Asgard. We never get sick.” Idunn swiped one last cotton ball between my eyes and patted my hand. “But I am the realm’s most gifted horticulturist. I develop the apple hybrids that foster our eternal youth.”
So Asgard’s top plant doctor was about to operate on my brain. Brilliant.
“I also trained at Harvard’s medical school a few years back at Odin’s insistence. He takes the Ragnarok prophecy very seriously, and wants to make sure we’re prepared for all eventualities. My specialty was neurosurgery.”
Well that made me feel a little bit better.
“Relax, Kristia. This will be over before you know it.” Idunn picked up one of the needles and drew out the contents of one of the tubes.
“Right.”
“Would it help if I explained the procedure to you?” she asked.
“Sure.” Not that it mattered, one way or the other. I was absolutely going through with this—an eternity with Ull was worth anything the good doctor could throw at me. But I shot an accusatory glance at Olaug. She’d left out some key bits. Like my brain being injected with giant needles.
“In layman’s terms, I’m going to take some of the matter out of your brain and replace it with cells from Inga’s cerebellum.”
“That’s the part that’s responsible for my lack of grace, right?” I stared at Idunn.
“It’s the region that oversees motor control.” Idunn nodded.
“So if I’m getting some of Inga’s motor skills… wait, you donated brain cells for me?” I turned to Inga.
She shrugged. “What are friends for?”
Idunn stood in front of me. “After I inject the cells, I’ll transfer nine units of gardium into your hypothalamus. That’s the ‘god gene’ we’ve been developing for you.”
“The god gene,” I mused. A genetic Higgs-boson.
“Yes. And it will sit dormant until Odin activates it. That’s the second part of the process. I do the science, he does the magic. When Odin calls on Mjölnir, it’ll be like a car getting a jump-start. The synapses will connect and your immortal existence will begin.”
“When will my… uh, mortal existence end?” I asked.
“When I remove the matter from your brain. The transference of Inga’s cells for yours will be quick, but for that brief moment you will technically be brain-dead.” Idunn spoke matter-of-factly.
“Oh.”
“Don’t worry, Kristia. I performed over a hundred brain surgeries during my time as a neurosurgeon. And I never lost a patient.”
“But did you ever deliberately kill one to make her immortal?”
“Well, no,” Idunn admitted. “But no matter. I’m not going to tarnish a perfect record.”
“Wait. When you… take stuff out of my brain… is there any chance I could lose my visions?” A lot was riding on my being able to see stuff after I was changed. Important stuff. Like how to save the cosmos as we knew it.
“Oh, not at all. I will be removing matter from your cerebellum. Your visions operate from another region of your brain,” Idunn explained.
“Oh.” I wanted to ask more, but my throat went dry when Idunn approached with the enormous needle.
“Let’s get started.” She raised the syringe.
“Are you going to knock me out first?” I bleated.
“It’s better if I don’t. I need a clear scan on your brain waves, and that’s going to be tough if you’re unconscious.” Idunn blinked.
I grabbed Inga’s arm and pulled so her ear was level with my mouth. “If I don’t make it, tell Ull I loved him.”
“Stop it,” she hissed. But I could see the fear in her eyes.
“How’d you get Ull to agree to this?” I whispered.
“I told you. He has no idea what we’re doing,” Inga admitted. “He thinks your ‘prep’ involves an intense beauty ritual. Exfoliating and stuff.”
“So he doesn’t know about the…” My eyes shifted to the table full of needles and tubes.
“No.” She shook her head. “He’d never have agreed to let it happen. Should I have told him?”
I thought about it. On the one hand, I’d pledged complete honesty in everything I did. Ull wanted what was best for me, and if he would have stopped this from happening maybe it was too risky after all. But on the other hand, this was the only way Ull and I had a shot at surviving Ragnarok. If I stayed human, my visions would be useless to the gods and we’d all be goners anyway. No matter how scary it was, this had to happen.
“No. You were right not to tell him. But you know he’s going to be furious if he ever finds out.” I lay my head against the back of the chair, imagining Ull’s overreaction to the news that I’d let some goddess I’d never met inject me with Inga’s brain cells. “Listen, I’m going to be brain-dead. And I know that’s not a huge deal when you’re immortal, but I’m not there yet. And on the off chance Idunn slips—”
“I’ve never slipped.” Idunn wagged her finger.
“Okay, on the off chance I don’t, uh, make it through this thing, I w
ant you to tell Ull…” I trailed off. There was so much I wanted Ull to know. How much I loved him. How my life was completely meaningless before he came into it. How I felt more alive now than I had in nineteen years, even though there was a very strong possibility I’d face death by one means or another in the next three months.
“You’ll be fine,” Inga swore.
“Right. But just in case. Tell him he’s my world. And no matter how it pans out, it was all worth it.” I squeezed Inga’s hand.
“I’ll tell him.” She squeezed me back. “Just get through this, okay?”
I nodded. “I’m ready.”
Inga moved to my left side, holding tight to my fingers. “I’ll be here the whole time,” she pledged.
“I will, too.” Olaug came up to grasp my right hand. “Bring her over safely, Idunn.”
“I plan to.” The doctor stood directly in front of me, the oversized needle in hand ready to siphon out my mortality. “Now close your eyes, Kristia. And do not move.”
I stared at the bookcase directly in front of me. Ull had given my Christmas gift a place of honor on the top shelf. I’d stood outside the Millennium Stadium locker room until every member of the national team signed that rugby ball for him, and he called it the most thoughtful gift he’d ever received. Until today. Knowing that I would give up my human life for him was a gift he said he’d never be able to repay, but he’d spend the rest of his existence showing me how much it meant to him.
Only he had it all backwards. I would never be able to repay him for letting me be a part of his life. For loving me beyond the bounds of logic, and letting me feel a joy, security, and belonging I hadn’t even known existed.
Ull. I was doing this for Ull. And no matter how scary it was to know I was about to be brain-dead, it was something I’d do a hundred times over if it meant even one extra day with him.
I squeezed my eyes shut and made fists around Olaug and Inga’s fingers. My grip was so tight my knuckles burned, and when the needle pierced my skin I fought every impulse and stayed still. The metal pushed through my flesh, pausing as it touched my skull. I heard Idunn murmur an incantation in Norwegian, and the needle moved through the bone, sending white-hot pain in all directions. My forehead felt like it was on fire, the searing pulses a thousand times more intense than even the worst vision-induced headache. Idunn continued her chant, repeating the same nine words over and over as the needle burrowed deeper in my skull. The slow movement was excruciating, and I hoped when it finally broke through the bone the agony might end.
I must have forgotten what was on the other side.
When the needle cleared the skull it hit my brain. Idunn began a new chant as the object pushed into the soft matter. Mind-numbing anguish shot directly through every nerve in my body. I forgot everything the doctor told me and bucked against the needle. I felt it probing the corners of my head, stabbing the soft matter as I moved. But I couldn’t stop.
“She’s seizing!” I heard Inga’s voice but I couldn’t register anything else. My body convulsed wildly, fighting against the chair’s restraints as I tried desperately to expel the needle from my brain.
“Hold her down.” The edge in Idunn’s voice would have worried me if I’d been able to think of anything but getting that thing out.
“I’m trying!”
I fought against the pressure, wrenching and pulling, anything to be free of the object searing my brain, but my arms were trapped. A heavy weight against my chest stopped the bucking. Only the pain remained.
“That’s it.” I felt Idunn’s cool hand on my forehead as she pushed me against the chair. I let out a moan. The cold was a welcome respite.
“Steady.” The burning resumed as the needle found its path again, this time pushing straight into the center of my head. I tried to focus on the image of Ull standing at the altar of the church; pledging his life to me; kissing me for the first time as my husband. I tried to remember the reason I was doing this. But the injection moved deeper and I exploded from the inside, a thousand fissures erupting from the mutinous metal invading my mind. Each fissure felt like a stake driving through the hypersensitive nerve endings in what was left of my mind.
Then the pain changed. Instead of an outward heat I felt an unbearable suctioning. Now my head was imploding. The entire mass of my brain felt like it was being sucked through an impossibly tiny straw. The pressure was unbearable, and I spiraled down an endless tunnel of torture. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore I felt the needle pull out of my brain, back though the skull, and out of my skin.
And then everything was dark.
Chapter Thirteen
WHEN I OPENED MY eyes, Olaug knelt in front of me.
“Stay very still, Kristia. I do not want you to over exert yourself. Blink once if you can hear me.” She stared into my eyes.
I blinked.
“Good. Now I am going to ask you a few questions. Do not answer if it’s too painful. Are you ready?”
I blinked again.
“Okay. What is my name?” She stared into my eyes.
I stared back.
“What’s my name?” she repeated.
“Olaug.”
“Good. Where am I from?”
“Why—”
“Just answer me. Where am I from?”
“You’re from Asgard,” I answered.
“And what are you going to do today?”
I wracked my brain. Where was I? I glanced at my arms, tied down to a white chair. I looked to my left and saw Inga, holding my hand. To my right, Idunn stood next to a table of medical equipment. She stared at me as she wrung her hands together. I glanced at the needles on the table and everything came rushing back to me. The searing pain. The vacuous pressure. The darkness.
“Kristia, you must focus. What are you going to do today?” Olaug repeated.
I sifted through the fog of confusion until I found my footing. A soft smile played at the corner of my mouth. “I’m marrying my best friend.”
“That’s my girl.” Olaug’s shoulders dropped, a visible sign of her relief. Inga let out a quiet sigh, and Idunn closed her eyes and tilted her head to the ceiling. “You’re going to be all right.”
Inga undid my restraints, and leaned in for a gentle hug. “Thank Odin you’re okay. That was scary.”
“It felt scary.” I’d been sure I was dying. I rubbed at my wrists and tried not to think.
“I am sorry, Kristia.” Idunn shook her head. “I should have sedated you.”
“Yeah, that would have been nice.” My head still felt like the byproduct of the mortar and pestle Mormor used to whip up her guacamole. “But I’m good now. You got what you needed?”
“I did,” Idunn affirmed.
“So I’m ready for Odin?”
“You’re ready.”
“Then let’s do this.” I tried to stand and fell back. “Whoa.”
Idunn handed me a cup of juice. “You went through a lot this morning. Don’t push yourself too hard just yet.”
“Okay,” I drained the cup and closed my eyes. I gingerly touched my temples. “When will the pounding stop?”
“We don’t really know. I’m so sorry, Kristia. Here, come lie down.” Inga helped me up and moved me to Ull’s bed. It was so soft; the thick pillows pulled me into their depths. Inga tucked a heavy blanket over me.
“I can’t sleep,” I protested despite my brain’s obvious willingness. “I have to get ready for the church.”
“Shh.” Inga stroked my hair. “We’re way ahead of schedule. We don’t have to be back to your flat for another two hours.”
“But my friends—” My words started to slur. I was a heartbeat away from the deepest rest I’d ever known.
“They think we’re at the seamstress with your dress, remember? Brides always lose a few extra pounds in that last week.” Inga’s gentle voice was the last push I needed. I closed my eyes and gave in to the overwhelming need to sleep.
When I came to, Ull’
s bedroom was back to normal. Inga and Olaug had rearranged the furniture while I slept, and I’d been so out of it, I’d slept right through them moving the bed. The medical equipment was nowhere to be seen, and the throbbing in my head had stilled to a barely-there ache. For a brief moment I wondered if I’d dreamed the whole thing.
“Well hello, Sleeping Beauty.” Inga grinned from the foot of the bed. “She’s up, Idunn.”
The white-clad woman came to my side, slapped a blood pressure cuff on my arm and held out a thermometer. I opened my mouth obediently, and waited for the beep.
“Your vitals are fine.” Idunn smiled. “You are cleared of my care. Now talk to Elsker and then go get ready for your wedding. I’ll see you at the church.”
“Wait, Elsker’s here?” I sat up slowly, and touched my head. The ache was subsiding.
“She is. And I need to leave to go find Odin so we can go over his part of your change-over.” Idunn leaned over and squeezed me softly. “Take care of our Ull. He deserves this happiness.”
“I will.” I hugged her back. “And thank you. For everything.”
“Are you ready, Kristia?” Elsker came into the room and sat on the bed next to me.
“I didn’t think I’d see you until we got to the church.”
“You didn’t think I’d let you leave for your honeymoon without training you first, did you?” Elsker shook her head.
“Pardon?” Elsker seemed like such a sweet old lady. I really didn’t want her teaching me about honeymoon activities.
“You will be fine, I am sure of it. But you’ll be a full goddess in just a few hours. Let’s go over using your visions before you fly off to wherever it is Ull’s taking you.”
“Oh, like you don’t know, Norn.”
“I would never ruin a surprise.” She smiled back at me. “Now sit with your back against the headboard and close your eyes.”
I did as I was told. “You’re really going to teach me how to use my visions? I’m not a goddess yet. Odin still has to do his part. Will I be able to use them correctly?”
“You will be able to use them well enough. It will be easier for you after Odin completes your transformation, but I need you to have a basic understanding today. I would hate for you to have to summon me on your honeymoon.”
