by Zoe York
“I know, I heard.” He couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice. He hated that he had been so confident five minutes earlier, and one work related call tore that to shreds. How could he promise that he could fit into her life when it would be months of this before they lived in the same place? Deja vu swept over him and he realized that he’d been at this same crossroads before.
It was the day before Laney was to leave for Harvard. She had slept over at his place the night before, but that night she was going back to the farm. The thought of not seeing her again until Thanksgiving tore him up inside. She had been telling him about her future classmates who she’d connected with already online. He had never experienced raw jealousy before, and it tore through him like bright green toxic waste.
“Just don’t go and fall in love with any of those Harvard douchebags, okay?”
“Kyle, don’t...please be excited for me.”
“It’s hard to be excited about only seeing you a handful of times over the next year.”
“We’ll talk every night.”
“Until you get too busy with studying.”
Each barb was a spark on dry tinder, and neither noticed until it was too late. The fight was long and drawn-out. There were many points where Kyle could have pulled back, could have apologized and saved the relationship, but he was too angry to think straight. He couldn’t remember most of what he said, but he’d never forget the last poison tipped dart he whipped at her before she walked out.
“Med school can’t keep you warm at night. It won’t rub your feet or give you babies. I love you Laney, too bad that’s not enough for you.”
He hadn’t thought about those words in a long time. Regret lanced through him. He had damaged more than their relationship that day.
Now it was the middle of the night and she was needed at a hospital five hundred kilometers away. Kyle pulled Laney hard against his chest. “Go do what you have to do. Call me when you get a chance. I’ll come and visit. I’ve got Red Bull, remember? Gotta make a road trip somewhere, might as well be Chicago.”
“I’m sorry,” She mumbled into his neck. “I thought we’d have another day.”
He tugged her high enough to steal a kiss. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I didn’t want to say goodbye like this.”
“We’re not.”
Pain twisted across her face. He wanted to ease that for her, but he knew she wouldn’t believe him. Not yet.
“I’m not asking you for anything.” Kyle cupped her face in his hands. “I’m just saying that I’ll see you again soon. That’s on me to make happen, and I will. Promise.”
Laney nodded and brushed her lips against his one last time. He helped her up and watched her get dressed. When she pulled on her coat, he took the zipper slider out of her hand and fit it to the opposite pin. The quiet rasp of metal teeth fitting together filled the silence for a moment, and then there was too much to say in not enough time, so he left it at that.
Chapter Fifteen
The empty call room wasn’t the Hilton, or her condo, but it would suffice for a nap. Laney could go home and leave the senior resident in charge until she was needed next, but chances were high that she’d be paged before her ass hit the couch at home. They had been called for consults in both the pediatric and adult emergency departments almost non-stop, and Laney had just come out of a four hour operation on a thirteen year old who just barely survived a motor vehicle accident. There was a reason she worked on the pediatric reconstruction team and at DermaNorth instead of providing regular on-service support. As a resident she had loved the rush of these shifts, but now she longed for a regular schedule with patients scheduled at least a day in advance. She liked the routine of clinic days and out-patient care.
She tucked her arm under her head as a makeshift pillow. If only it was Kyle’s bicep. His body could be her blanket. His inevitable erection her alarm clock. Laney groaned and rolled over. She’d arrived in Chicago yesterday at noon and sent a quick text to both Kyle and Evie telling them that she was safe and sound. Then she stopped at the store to pick up bananas and yogurt, had a nap, gone for a run, written a blog post and was in bed fast asleep by eight.
Twenty-four hours later, she still hadn’t called him. He’d sent two texts, both short and sweet. She should respond in kind, but she couldn’t summon the inner flirt right now. She was stuck in a sad melancholy. If she called, she’d probably cry. She’d tell him how much she missed him, that March was too far away. She’d promise the moon just to see him again. Maybe he could fly from Detroit, or they could meet halfway and spend the weekend in a seedy motel.
And then real life would inevitably crash down upon them. He’d want her to come for one of his many family events, and she’d have on-service call, or a conference, or a patient flown in from overseas. He deserved to be someone’s number one priority. And then sooner than later, the conversation would turn to kids and choosing a home, and there was only heartbreak to be found there. They had fixed themselves on perpendicular trajectories a long time ago, and by some freak violation of the laws of trigonometry, they’d had a second momentary intersection. But time doesn’t stand still, and their lives would drag them apart. Again.
Laney’s pager went off and she sat up. Doesn’t that just prove the point? Can’t even fantasize about my boyfriend without interruption.
She was halfway down the hall to the ER before the label sank in. She shoved the freak-out deep down inside, and redirected the burst of adrenaline toward dealing with whatever was on the other side of the curtain.
The sun was up by the end of her shift, but downtown Chicago was still bathed in cool grey shadows. Traffic was limited, and she savoured the quiet. She covered the few blocks to her condo at a slower pace than usual. The frigid air nipped at her cheeks, and she tugged her hat lower to cover her ears. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she smiled when she pulled it out.
“How was your shift?” Kyle’s voice washed over her, warm and interested.
“Long. Busy. Exhausting.”
“I’m sorry I’m not there. Are you still at the hospital?”
“Just left. I’ll be home in about thirty seconds.”
“I’ll stay on the phone with you until you get upstairs safely.”
She grinned. “And then you can tuck me into bed?”
“Something like that.” Kyle paused. “I miss you, Laney.”
She nodded at the phone, knowing he couldn’t see her. Heavy emotion welled up in her chest and she was relieved when her doorman waved her over to the service desk in the lobby. “Hang on a second, Kyle, I have a package.” She tucked the phone into the crook of her neck and accepted the small cardboard box. It had a courier delivery label on the front, but no other identifying information. “You still there? I have a mystery box.”
“Intriguing.” His voice filled with mischief.
It took her a few beats to clue in, but once she did she bounced with excitement. “How did you get my address? And what is it?”
“Your mom was helpful yesterday.”
Laney rolled her eyes out of habit, but she was touched by both Kyle’s present, whatever it was, and her mother’s quiet acceptance of whatever Kyle was. Your boyfriend, remember? Her heart pounded in her chest, and she was relieved that Kyle couldn’t see her face flush bright red. She swallowed hard as she let herself into her condo.
“Let me just find the scissors...okay, what did you...” her voice trailed off as she pulled the bottles and boxes out of the box. Bubble bath, peppermint foot cream, chamomile tea, chocolate covered espresso beans, and a printed stack of IOU coupons for backrubs. Yeah, he was her boyfriend. Dammit. “Kyle, this is perfect. Oh my god. I’m totally going to have a bath before I crawl into bed. I love this. I love—”
She cut herself off. She squeezed her eyes shut to hold back tears, cursing herself for being suddenly so damn emotional. That empty second felt like a lifetime, but Kyle took over and pulled her back. “I’m glad you lik
e it. I’m sorry I’m not there to run that bath for you. I’d like to wash your hair. And the rest of you.” His voice caught on a gruff note and he cleared his throat. “You can give me a detailed report when you wake up, okay?”
“Kay.”
“Sleep tight, Laney.”
The last thing she did before she drifted off was send Kyle a picture of herself in the bath, surrounded by bubbles.
The winery was decked out for the holidays. Strands of multicoloured lights lit up a massive fir in the lobby and framed the windows. Glass ornaments filled bowls and mistletoe was hung in every arch. Ty must be sleeping with a decorator.
Kyle didn’t see his friend in the bustling tasting room, so he cut across the multipurpose great room, currently being set up for the New Year’s dance, and made his way to the offices in the loft on the far side of the building. A soft moan, followed by a giggle and papers hitting the floor told him that Ty wasn’t alone.
Jesus. He didn’t dare interrupt. They probably wouldn’t stop. He ducked down the hallway toward Evan’s dark office instead. The older West brother was away, but Kyle could use the computer. He wanted to send Laney some mp3s. The songs they danced to the other night. Maybe buy her a Faith Hill album. Anything. Fuck. He just wanted to make her happy again. Keep her constantly happy. Anything to keep her in the mood to take naughty photos, that’s for sure.
Her mother had initially been reluctant to get involved, but when Kyle promised that he would only use the information she could provide for good and not evil, and he swore up and down that he wasn’t going to be a “weak-kneed, lily-livered, spineless little boy this time around”. Claire had made him repeat that one a few times.
She hadn’t explicitly asked about his intentions, and he was grateful for that. If she had, he probably wouldn’t have been able to make that oath with the same conviction. He was pretty sure that he and Laney were on the same page. His stomach clenched at the caveat. Pretty sure wasn’t good enough. But for fuck’s sake, neither was nine days. He was doing the best he could under the circumstances.
Down the hall, Ty’s office door opened and a stacked blond stumbled out, adjusting her skirt. His friend followed, giving her one last kiss and a pat on the ass. Kyle cleared his throat.
“Hey, man. What brings you here? I thought you were my brother.” Ty looked far too pleased with himself as he sauntered into Evan’s office and fell into one of the leather chairs under the window.
“Came to see if you needed any help.”
Ty waggled his eyebrows.
“With the party, dickhead. For tomorrow.”
“Ah, the party. Right. Nope, everything’s coming together nicely. It’s great to have an events manager now to handle stuff like that.” He cracked his knuckles. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure you were coming.”
Kyle frowned. “Why the hell wouldn’t I—goddamn small town—who told you?”
Ty chuckled, then laughed harder again as Kyle’s tension grew. “Karen, Ian, Carrie, Evie…take your pick. In the age of smart phones, wildfires have nothing on gossip.”
“Fuck me. This isn’t anyone’s business!” He leapt to his feet, bristling with…something. His muscles were bunching and twitching under skin that felt too hot and too tight. He punched one fist into the other palm. They needed time, which they didn’t have, and space, which clearly no one was going to give them.
“Settle, dude. Seriously, what’s gotten into you? I’ve never seen you so wound up over pussy.”
Before either of them could process what was happening, Kyle had Ty hauled out of his chair and up against the wall. Kyle’s forearm pressed hard into the other man’s chest, and Ty opened his mouth but Kyle cut him off.
“She’s not…fuck. Don’t fucking say that.” He eased off. “She went back to Chicago for work.”
Ty stared at him like he was an idiot. “So why are you here?”
Maybe he was an idiot, because he didn’t understand the question. “To help with the party prep?”
“Not here, numbnuts. Here.” He gestured out the window. “In Wardham. Why aren’t you in Chicago for the weekend? You don’t need to be back at work until what…Tuesday?”
Yeah, he was an idiot of the highest order. He’d thought of visiting her, of course, but in the future. Another stolen week or weekend. Another fling. It hadn’t occurred to him to go with her. To be with her. It was only a five hour drive. Why was he thinking about March? He could be in her bed every weekend if she’d have him. That’s a big if. Dread flooded his guts. Laney had made it clear that she didn’t believe he could want her, just her. What if he couldn’t break down that wall? Maybe that’s why she didn’t extend an invitation. Last time she did that, you broke her heart.
So what was different now? If anything, he was more entrenched in Wardham than ever before. Laney was right to worry. Every choice he’d ever made had been in favour of his hometown. His friends. His family.
Family. Fuck. The family he wanted had walked out his door in the middle of the night and he just stood and watched. Again.
“Kyle? You done going all alpha male here?” Ty slid along the wall and eased his way back to the chair.
“Not even close. I need a favour.”
When Laney woke up hours later, her inbox had a photo of Kyle’s hand, gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. She giggled, and snapped a quick photo of her bare legs stretched out on the bed. Then another one, this time a close-up of her face.
She hadn’t even made it over to her desk before the phone rang.
“Are you trying to kill me?”
“You don’t like my pictures?”
“I fucking love your pictures. I just got a hard-on in front of my parents.”
Happy laughter bubbled up inside her. “I’m sorry. I mean, not really, but awwwww. I’d have liked to see that.”
He growled in her ear. “You want to see it?”
“You wouldn’t!” Laney sucked in a breath. “What if you accidentally sent it to your mom? Or your principal?”
“I wasn’t talking about a picture, woman.”
“Oh. That’s a shame, I really would like to see it.” That earned her another growl, then her phone chimed with an incoming text message. “How did you do that while we were talking?”
“It’s the twenty-first century, sweetheart.”
She pulled the phone away from her ear. Kyle’s glowering face stared at her, bare need radiating off his digital image.
“You look...hungry. Like a wolf.”
“Are you my Little Red Riding Hood?”
She sucked in another breath, and he chuckled. “I think you just might be. Listen, I need to get back inside, but...”
“It’s okay. I’ll talk to you later.”
Kyle returned to the kitchen table and avoided his brother’s questioning look as he reached for the mashed potatoes.
“What are you kids doing tomorrow night?” Kyle’s parents were going to babysit his niece and nephew so Ian and Carrie could ring in the New Year in style.
“We’re going to the winery,” Carrie said. “Kyle, do you want drive together? We can share a cab home, then it’s just one car to go back and fetch in the morning.”
He shifted in his seat. He’d anticipated explaining his absence to Ty, but not his family. He stared at his sister-in-law, willing her to not ask any questions. “Actually, I have other plans.”
“Do they involve a smokin’ hot doctor?” It would be Ian that would cause problems, of course. Carrie pursed her lips together, holding in a laugh, as her husband turned to explain to his parents. “Kyle’s wrapped around the Laney axle again.”
Kyle surged to his feet, his cutlery clattering against his plate as his chair skidded out behind him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, so shut up.”
“Kyle! Little ears, first of all.” His father didn’t need to raise his voice to make it clear he was displeased. “And second of all, sit your ass down in the chair and don’t
be disrespecting your mother.”
Six year old Kaylie giggled, and shrugged when Carrie gave her the stink eye. “What? Papa said ass. And Uncle Kyle said—”
“We all know what he said. Eat your dinner.” Kyle’s mother looked down the table. “Kyle, do you want to share something?”
He shrugged. “Not yet.”
“Are you going to get hurt over this?” Eleanor Nixon never pulled her punches.
“Maybe. The odds are pretty even, I guess.”
“Do you love her?”
Kyle lifted his head and looked his mother in the eye. “I think the first person that should hear those words is Laney, don’t you?”
Across the table, Carrie pressed her hand to her chest and smiled. She shared a private look with her mother-in-law, then changed the subject.
Chapter Sixteen
It had been three days since she’d left Wardham. Probably time to call her mom.
She’d woken Claire and Evie to say goodbye and explain her sudden departure, and left a sticker covered note for Connor and Max. Evie had sent a photo of them making a doctor snowman later that day, but Laney still hadn’t talked to anyone at the farm. Her mom knew the drill, and they didn’t usually talk more than once a week, but...it wasn’t just about being a good daughter, either. Laney hoped that talking to her mom might help her figure out what to do about her mess of unsettled feelings. Yes, it was time to call her mom. Time to call Kyle as well. She winced. They hadn’t texted or spoken again since last night. He was putting the ball in her court, and she was watching it dribble along the ground.
She tucked that pang of regret away for the moment. She only had a couple of minutes before her hair appointment. Only enough time for a mom, not enough time for a guy.
Claire picked up on the first ring. They exchanged brief updates on the last few days, then Laney dove in. “Kyle sent me a package. He told me he asked you for my address.”
