They stayed that way on the table, still connected to each other and out of breath, when someone started knocking. Natalie looked up at him and Lane started laughing, low enough for that person not to hear. “I need to take care of that,” she said and Lane got off her, corrected his clothes and then his hair. He stood aside while Natalie opened the door and let the next patient in. Thankfully, the man seemed oblivious and Lane didn’t really know him so it wasn’t something worth fretting over. As Natalie got busy checking the patient’s vitals, Lane stood by the door. “I’ll see you later,” he said. “Call me when you’re free?”
“Sure.”
CHAPTER 21
DELUDED
Lane was getting late for debrief. He was heading towards Major Rick’s office when he was intercepted by Natalie. She pulled him into her office and locked the door. “Hey,” Lane said. “I’m getting late.”
“Too bad.”
“I’ve been late for the last two debriefs, please I need to be there on time today.”
“What’re they going to do?” Natalie said. “Kick you out?”
“Don’t you have patients to attend to?”
“I do,” Natalie said, and opened the buttons to Lane’s shirt. “Why do you think I called you in here?” She ran a finger along the patch of dressing covering the stab wound. “I think you need a shot.”
“Is that supposed to be romantic?”
“Depends on where I administer the shot I guess.”
Lane kissed her. He ran a hand through her hair, liking their soft feel under his skin. “I think I might have to stay,” he said. “I can always tell them it was doctor’s orders.”
“Are you kidding me? Major’s going to kill me.”
“I thought you wanted me to stay.”
“I do,” she said, catching his lips between hers. “But right now you need to go in for debrief, I know. So how about you come back and I see you back here in an hour? We can go home together.”
“Home?”
“My place,” Natalie said. “I’m guessing you don’t want Connor to know.”
“I don’t care much, but yeah, I think it would save me some awkward moments with my brother.”
“No problem. I can give you a ride.”
“Great,” Lane forced himself to walk to the door. “I’ll see you then.”
*
The voices, even those things came back.
Lane tried to focus on what Major Rick was saying but it wasn’t easy because the taloned-creature was grabbing for Major Rick’s head. Lane blinked and the image went away.
“We’ve called this meeting because Professor Chandler has announced that the weapons system is now ready for use.”
“Ready?” Shay said. “As in we can now make those alien motherfuckers explode?”
“Well, more like melt Shay, but yes. We are now officially powerful enough to kill the Khaltars.”
“So when do we launch our first attack?” Someone asked.
“It’s not that simple buddy,” Major Rick said. “We’re going to devise a strategy first. The weapons technology kills the Khaltars. We still have the Zyre to take care of.”
“But you said once we kill the Khaltars, we can bring down the Zyre!”
“I know what I said,” Major Rick said. “And its not untrue. But in order to get to the Khaltars you still need to pass the Zyre security. Building One is our primary concern. It’s the space/air traffic control for the Khaltar ships. We need to figure out how to sabotage them in a way that will ensure the least amount of blowback.”
Someone, a short guy in regular clothes came into the room and went straight to Major Rick. He handed him a piece of paper and Major Rick stood up. “I have another meeting,” he said. “I’ll allow Lieutenant Barron to continue telling you what roles you all have to assume.”
Major Rick left and Barron started speaking but all Lane could hear in his head were the voices.
“Lane?” Barron said. “Is everything okay?”
Lane looked around himself. Everyone was staring at him, expecting a response. Lane wondered whether to stick to saying that he was fine, or risk having his name called out a second time. “Sir,” he said. “I think I might be feeling a little sick.”
“Well then take a day off,” Barron said. “I’ll have Shay brief you when you come in tomorrow. In fact why don’t you give it a rest for a few days? It might do you good. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately and with what happened with Parker, I’m sure you need it.”
“Sir I’ll take that under advisement,” Lane said, politely, wanting this to be over. He picked up his jacket from the back of the seat he was sitting on. “Goodnight sir.”
“Goodnight,” Barron said, and continued speaking as Lane barely made it out of the room.
*
Everywhere he went, Lane could hear sounds even louder than before. Hushed alien cries, strange beings talking amongst themselves. He knew it wasn’t really happening but that didn’t change the fact that he had to deal with it. When he got to the infirmary, Natalie was waiting for him. “Ready to go home?”
“Absolutely,” Lane said. The talons were now reaching for Natalie’s neck and he was fighting the urge to pry them off her.
“Do you mind if we stop to eat something first?”
“Not at all,” Lane said. He had no idea how he was going to deal with what was going on, but he had promised her this and he didn’t want to go back on it.
*
Lane pushed Natalie back on the bed. Her room was very beautiful, and everything was tastefully done, but the best part about it was the way she made him feel warm inside again. Lane looked at her face and didn’t even speak for a long time.
“What’re you doing?” Natalie asked.
“Trying to remember the look on your face.”
“Why?”
“For when you’re not there,” Lane said. “Every time I kiss you, your face gets this look—its different from every other look that you have.”
“It is?” Natalie said. “I had no idea.”
“You make everything go quiet,” Lane said. “Inside my head. Feel like I can finally breathe when you’re around.”
“That’s a lovely thing to say.”
“Is it?”
Natalie kissed him. Lane kissed her too and his hand reached her thighs, prying them open. When she trembled against him he slid his hand down further. “Lane!”
Lane kissed her mouth, his fingers still working around her lace underwear, and she was wet and it made him horny. When she shivered again, he knew he had done something right. He took off his shirt, unbuttoned his pants and Natalie’s hands went over his chest, and he felt her wetness increasing, when he made way for himself inside her. Pretty soon they were both lost in each other’s embrace, screaming and for Lane, after a long time, it wasn’t because of pain but pleasure…
*
Lane woke with a sudden feeling of nausea and got up and rushed to the bathroom. He had barely eaten anything, but now he was throwing it all up. When he came back to the bed, he found Natalie awake. “Are you okay?” she asked.
Lane slipped into the covers and went closer to her. “You’re warm,” she said. “I don’t mean that in a good way, I think you have fever Lane.”
“Probably something I ate.”
Natalie curled up with him. “I’ll run some tests in the morning,” she said. “Come by my office, okay?”
“Okay,” Lane said, and tried to go to sleep, but sleep was far away from him.
*
First thing in the morning, Connor checked the mail and saw Arianna’s name on one of the envelopes. It was for Lane, so he went up to Lane’s room, hoping to give him the letter but when he saw that it was empty he went to leave the letter on the nightstand when he saw a broken picture on the floor. It looked like someone had smashed it against the wall. Connor picked it up. It was the same picture Lane always kept it on his bedside, and there was a cut out of Arianna’s face mounted
on that picture, only now there was a tear going through that picture from where the glass had cut it. There was a shattering noise from the bathroom, and Connor left the picture and stood up.
“Lane?”
No reply but he could still hear some shuffling noises. He walked over to the bathroom and saw the door was ajar and he tried to open it, but Lane pushed from the other side. “Connor, stay out!” But Connor had seen the gun in Lane’s hand, and there was no way Lane was stopping him from getting in. “Lane, open the door!” He pushed with all his strength and got in.
“Stay out please!” Lane yelled. His hair was wet, he was sweating and the mirror above the sink was broken, the glass shards were spread all over the sink and the bathroom floor. But the one thing that scared Connor more than anything was the loaded gun.
“Lane what’s going on?”
“I can’t do this.”
“Do what Lane?”
“I’m a mess, I’m a fucking mess!” Lane was talking but it seemed like he was speaking more to himself than he was to Connor.
“Lane please talk to me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t know…you don’t know what they did to me.”
“Lane, I’m right here. I can help you. You need to let it out. Please, just hand me that gun.”
But Lane kept going like he hadn’t even heard him. “I don’t want to be a mess!”
“Lane, you were doing better, weren’t you?”
Lane started to laugh. “Damn I must be such a good fucking actor to fool you, right? You want to hear the truth Connor? The truth is that in my head, I'm still back there in that fucked up prison, and they’re torturing me and there's nothing I can do about it! I'm in pain Connor I'm in so much fucking pain!" Lane paused. “I don’t know what to do, I feel trapped. Feel like I’m being suffocated all the damn time. This darkness inside me, it won’t go away. I’m dead, Con. I’m dead from inside. This body and everything that goes with it, that’s just an illusion Con, it’s not real. And I wake up every day desperately hoping for that to change, but then I find out that it hasn’t so I keep going, pretending. Pretending to be alive, to be interested in people’s conversations, but that’s all I’m doing, Con I’m just pretending!”
Lane was shivering again.
Connor took a few steps closer to him. He put his arms around his brother, enveloping his trembling form, wishing there was something he could do or something he could say to make all this go away, but he knew now that would never happen.
But despite that ugly truth, the way Lane was still clinging to him meant that Connor could still offer some comfort, and for now, he was going to be content with that.
*
The next day, Connor went straight to Natalie and asked her if they could talk. Natalie was with a patient and she asked Connor to wait. In another five minutes, the patient left and they were alone in the infirmary so Connor gathered the courage to speak.
“I think Lane’s in trouble,” he said. “He’s having some kind of breakdown.”
“Well he was pretty unwell last night,” Natalie said. “Maybe that’s making him worse.”
“He’s not well?”
“Didn’t he tell you?” Natalie said. “We stopped by my place. He was a little strange all night, but when we got home he started throwing up and he had a bit of fever. I asked him to check in with me today, but I guess he’s not here yet.”
Connor debated telling her exactly what happened. “Well I went to his room this morning,” he said. “And he was in the bathroom, a loaded gun in hand and talking like he wanted to end it.”
“Oh. Where is he now?”
“Asleep I think.”
Natalie was about to say something when the door opened and Lane walked in. “Hi,” he said in the general direction of the two of them.
“Hey,” Natalie said. “How’re you feeling?”
“Much better.”
Connor didn’t believe it for a second but Lane had his game face on. “Don’t you think you should have stayed home?” he asked.
“I said I’m fine,” Lane said. “Natalie I wanted to ask you if you could give me something for the cold.”
“Sure,” Natalie said. “But I’ll have to take a look at you first.”
“Maybe after my meeting,” Lane said. “Major’s waiting for me.” He walked out of the infirmary and Connor followed him outside.
“Hang on,” he said. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I told you I have a meeting,” Lane said.
“Yeah, I heard. Major Rick.”
“So?”
“So less than three hours ago you were holding a gun to your head telling me how you can’t take it anymore and now you’re going to act like nothing happened?”
“Connor, I was having a rough time. I feel better now.”
“Do you even remember what you said to me?”
“Connor, please.”
“Lane, stop this. You told me yourself you were pretending, is that what you’re doing now? Pretending to be okay when you’re not?”
“Life is going to be impossible if I spend every day in bed wallowing in self-pity.”
“Yeah but it would be honest.”
“Can we please do this later? I really have to go.”
“You can’t run away from me forever,” Connor said. “But fine. Go. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
*
Connor was in his Jace’s office with Aana, and they were both waiting for Jace when Kevin came in. “I’ve been looking all over for you,” Kevin said. “Major Rick says they’re ready to test the weapons.”
“Okay good,” Connor said. “When?”
“Tomorrow,” Kevin said. “I’m staying here tonight. They need some extra hands.”
“Sure.”
“Jace?” they heard Lane’s voice.
“Jace is not here,” Connor said. “We’re waiting for him too.”
Lane walked in. “I think I’m going to stay here tonight,” he said. And was about to say something, when he saw Aana. Aana’s expression changed entirely.
“I know you,” Lane said. “You’re with them…” Connor saw the anger in his eyes as he tried to shove Aana and was about to attack her. Connor got up and restrained him. “Hey! Calm down!”
“She was with them, Con! I saw her…I remember all of their faces!” Lane screamed.
“I’m not one of them,” Aana said.
“I know what I saw,” Lane said. “I know what I saw!”
Connor turned to Aana. “Explain this.”
“Fine,” Aana said. “I was on the team of scientists who were working on Lane.”
“Working?” Connor said. “You still consider that work?”
“Look,” Aana said. “The only reason I did it, was because I had no choice. I’m a Citizen. You know how many Citizens get to roam around in those state of the art labs?”
“So he’s right, you are one of them.”
“I stopped believing in their work a long time ago,” Aana said. “But I couldn’t just run, you know? If I had how would we have found your brother and brought him back? I helped you do that, or Lane would still be rotting away in some prison cell being their walking talking practice dummy.”
“Why are you really here?”
“I’m here because I want those people failing as much as you.”
“You’re not going to take her word for it, are you?” Lane yelled. “Come on! She was one of the people who tortured me!”
“Well you were stupid enough to lay hands on a cop, what did you think was going to happen?”
Lane rushed to attack her again but Connor stopped him again. “Lane, quit it!”
“Fine,” Lane said. “Why don’t the two of keep staying best buddies. I’m not going to be part of this resistance if she’s part of it.”
He stormed out of the room.
“What do you want to do, Con?” Kevin asked when La
ne left.
“Well I have a few ideas.”
*
They put Aana in the basement, tied to a chair.
“Are you going to torture a girl?” Aana said.
“So now you’re a girl?” Connor said.
“You’re making a mistake Connor,” Aana said. “You’re making a big mistake.”
“Yeah?” Connor said. “Well, I’ve been making a lot of those lately. I don’t think it’ll matter too much when I’m enjoying the sounds that come from torturing you.”
“And soon I’ll be enjoying something even worse,” Aana said. “If you had any idea what was coming Connor, you wouldn’t be taking my threats lightly.”
“All I know is that you’re nothing but a helpless girl at the end of her rope right now, Aana. And I don’t care how much to try to latch on to me for safety, I’m not going to allow it anymore.”
“And what’s your plan?”
A young girl of about twenty-nine stepped into the room and greeted Connor. “This is Jean,” Connor said. “Jean will make sure we get what we want. And if at any point, you decide to divulge a few secrets of the people who hired you, we can talk about letting you go free. Until then, have fun with Jean.”
Connor was about to leave the cell when he remembered something. He called Jean outside and when they were out of Aana’s earshot, he finally began speaking. “Keep Lane away from her,” he said. “Anything happens, you call me.”
“Yes sir.”
*
When Jace still hadn’t responded to Connor’s phone calls, Connor decided to go check on him. He drove up to Jace’s house, and rang the bell. A man came out, someone about the same age as Dyer, and it was a new face, Connor had never seen him before. “Is Jace is?”
“Sure,” the man said, holding the door open. “He’s in his room. You can wait in the living room.”
“Are you a new hire?”
“Yes,” the man said, leading the way inside. “I started today.”
The minute Connor stepped into the living room, he knew something was wrong. Jace was standing to one side, his hands in the air. “Jace?”
EXPERIMENT Page 20
