by Lucy Daniels
‘Me neither,’ Susan yelled. It had been Mandy’s suggestion, but it had sounded like something Douglas would love. She was feeling slightly overwhelmed now she was here, but she was determined to enjoy herself.
Douglas reached out a hand and she took it. She was glad to hold on as he plunged into the crowd. A moment later, they emerged on the far side of the room beside a bar. Now Susan could see the dancers. They seemed to be doing a line dance, though only half seemed to know what they were doing.
Douglas grinned down at her. ‘Brilliant,’ he shouted, following her gaze. ‘Can I get you a drink?’
‘I’ll get them,’ Susan called back.
A few minutes later, they stood side by side on the edge of the dance floor, each with a glass of non-alcoholic punch in hand. Douglas took a sip and grimaced. ‘A bit sweet,’ he said in her ear, ‘but otherwise lovely.’
Susan sipped her own drink and wanted to laugh. It was so sweet it was almost syrupy. She made a face. ‘You’re just being polite,’ she told him. ‘You need to tell the truth.’
He looked at her for a moment, then laughed. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘It’s bloody awful. Honest enough?’
Susan grinned. ‘Perfect,’ she replied.
Douglas looked around again. The band and line dancers had stopped. ‘How about a dance instead?’ he asked. She nodded and he took the glass from her hand, pushed his way into the crowd and emerged a moment later, the drinks abandoned. ‘Let’s go,’ he said, holding out his hand. Susan took it and he led her out onto the dance floor.
‘We’ll be doing some more traditional dancing a bit later,’ the bandleader said leaning down and putting his mouth very close to the microphone, ‘but for now, another line dance. This one’s a Christmas medley. If you don’t know it, just follow my instructions.’ The accordion struck up a chord, then the fiddle followed into a lively rendition of ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’.
A few minutes later, Susan was in fits of laughter. Douglas was so funny. His attempts at following the caller’s instructions were hilariously bad. Within the first few lines of the song he turned the wrong way while standing on one leg and overbalanced, then boomed his apologies as a whole row of dancers wobbled. Three of them fell. Douglas pranced along the line, helping people up, brushing them down and apologising. ‘Nobody hurt,’ he assured Susan with a huge grin when he returned. He didn’t seem remotely embarrassed and Susan could see that everyone was laughing with him, not at him.
‘More Domino Dancing than the Slide,’ Susan pointed out and they laughed some more. They restarted and within minutes, Douglas was causing chaos again. They finished the dance, breathless, and made their way to the side of the dance floor.
‘Want another drink?’ Douglas asked.
Susan shook her head. ‘Not yet,’ she called. ‘I want to dance again.’
‘Are you quite sure?’ Douglas was grinning at her as if he was delighted. ‘You wouldn’t rather be in a restaurant, or a smart bar somewhere?’
‘Definitely not,’ Susan declared. ‘This is much more fun.’ She held out a hand and Douglas willingly followed her back onto the dance floor.
The bandleader looked round. ‘Well,’ he said, his eye stopping for a moment on Douglas, and then grinning out at the crowd. ‘After the last disaster … I mean dance, I think we’ll go with something a little more traditional. Take your partners please for the Canadian Barn Dance.’ He caught Susan’s eye and winked and she glanced up at Douglas, who laughed. ‘He can’t possibly be talking about me,’ he said. ‘I’m a wonderful dancer. I was just showing them how to do a Highland Fling. Anyway,’ he added, ‘I know this one.’
A few minutes later, they were polka-dancing round the floor in time to the music. Douglas did indeed live up to his own hype and didn’t put a foot wrong the whole time. ‘Did that one at school,’ Douglas told her as they stood together afterwards. ‘And this one,’ he added as the caller announced that the next dance would be Strip the Willow. He held out a hand and Susan took it. A moment later, they were whirling so fast that the hall was a blur.
It seemed only a short time until the last dance was announced. Susan was dizzy with happiness. The evening had been a wonderful success. They had danced on and on, only stopping now and then for drinks and to get their breath back. The last dance was a Circassian Circle to the tune of ‘Rattlin’ Bog’, then ‘Nelly the Elephant’. They fell apart at the end, gazing into each other’s eyes and laughing. Douglas held her hand on the way back to the car. Susan felt as giddy as she had on her first ever date when she was fifteen – and this was a great deal better than limp pizza and a mediocre film with a nervous boy whose name she couldn’t now remember.
They climbed back into the car and she drove him back to Hope Meadows where he’d left his car. The moon was riding high over the fells as she drew to a halt.
She turned off the engine and sat looking out at the silvery light. There was a comfortable silence between them: a stillness born of satisfied weariness.
Douglas broke the silence. ‘So what now?’ he asked, reaching out and taking her hand again. ‘I’ve had a fantastic evening, but you’re in charge. Where do we go from here?’
Susan turned to look at him. His hand was warm and dry. Their closeness felt comfortable. ‘What I want is more of this,’ she said. ‘You and me dating.’ She stopped. Her heart was beating fast. She was almost sure he wanted the same.
‘Can I ask about Michael? What’s happening with him?’ he asked. He hadn’t pulled away his hand, but his face was serious as he searched her face.
Susan counted up to three in her head. She needed to be completely calm. ‘Actually,’ she said, ‘there’s something I want to say about that. I know you were trying to give me space when you decided to go away, but what happens to Jack at the moment is still my decision, and mine alone. There may come a time,’ she smiled at him, ‘when we make those sorts of decisions together, but for now I’d like you to trust me. It’s my job to protect this family, not yours.’ Douglas was quiet for a moment. ‘I understand,’ he said slowly. He smiled. ‘Thanks for telling me,’ he said.
Susan squeezed his hand. She could feel strength flowing into her. ‘What I want now,’ she said, ‘is for you to take some time … a couple of days … to think it over. I want you to be absolutely sure, before we go any further. Is that okay?’
She waited to see if he would ask more about Michael, but he twisted his fingers round hers for a moment and smiled gently. His eyes gleamed in the darkness. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I’ll do that. And thank you again for tonight. It really has been wonderful.’ He let go of her hand and turned as if to open the car door, but then he paused and twisted back to look at her. ‘Just another tiny query,’ he said. He grinned. His eyes gleamed in the moonlight. ‘Do you need a formal reply slip for this, or should I message you?’
Susan laughed. ‘The Hope Meadows party is in a couple of nights,’ she said. ‘You can tell me then. In the meantime, I trust I’ll see you tomorrow night at the Nativity. Just to warn you, Michael will be there too.’
Douglas laughed, turned again, pushed the door open and climbed out. Then he leaned back in and waggled his eyebrows. ‘I think I could get used to this new assertiveness,’ he said. He straightened up and closed the door. Susan leaned back in her seat and watched as he loped across the tarmac. This evening really had been a lot of fun. She waited until he had driven off, then turned on the engine and headed the car for home.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
It was steaming hot in the vestry. The children were hyper-excited, as they always were on Nativity night.
Susan had felt an overwhelming sense of delight when she’d walked into the church. The ancient building was beautifully decorated as it had been a year ago, with thick candles on the windowsills and a wonderful tree. But this year, the chancel was set with Douglas’s scenery. She had arrived early enough to go and look at all the detail, now everything was in place. The buildings looked almost real, but
when you looked up close, there were animals secreted into the paintwork. A grinning spider was lurking in the rafters. A mouse peeped out from the roof of the inn and two white hedgehogs would be joining the group of animals worshipping the new baby in the stable. The colours were amazing: warm and cosy on a cold winter’s night.
A shriek from beside her pulled Susan back into the vestry. A pair of excited eyes grinned up at her and she smiled back. ‘Right, Christina,’ she said. ‘Where’s your crown?’
‘It’s here, Miss Collins.’ Christina rushed over to the large oak box where in the old days the vicar had kept his vestments. She picked up the crown and brought it over. Douglas had painted these too. They were gold with glowing jewels. Christina put it on and Susan crouched down and straightened it, tucking a lock of Christina’s hair away from her forehead.
‘Okay?’ she asked, and Christina nodded. ‘Got your gift?’ Susan checked, and Christina pointed again to the box. It wasn’t like her to be so organised, Susan thought, but she was pleased that nothing so far had gone wrong. There was still a lot to do before the parents arrived.
Susan glanced around. The oxen were ready, and for once they weren’t chasing the Angel Gabriel around the hall. The lambs were in their fleeces. There were three shepherds to do, she thought, then Mary and Joseph, though Noah’s mum was helping so perhaps she would get him into his costume. Jack was already dressed in his shepherd’s tunic, tied round the waist with a scarf. The checked tea towel on his head was at a jaunty angle, but that only took a moment to rectify. Kendall was quick to climb into her outfit.
Where was Neil? Susan wondered, looking round. He had disappeared again. She’d caught him earlier, peering rather sadly at the manger. Was he still hankering after being Baby Jesus? she wondered. She took another look around the vestry. He definitely wasn’t there, and now the lambs had disappeared. Resisting the temptation to roll her eyes, Susan went through into the main church building. One or two parents had already arrived. Someone flicked the switch that turned on the big lights that shone down onto the stage. There, spotlit, right in the centre of the apse, three fleecy ‘lambs’ were baaing and gambolling. A small figure was on all fours, crawling around barking and snarling, seemingly rounding them up. He was all in black except for the white scarf wrapped round his neck. It was Neil.
‘Neil!’ Susan strode towards the stage. ‘What on earth are you doing?’
Neil looked up, his eyes stretched so wide with innocence that Susan wanted to laugh, but she stopped herself. ‘I’m not a shepherd any more,’ he told her. ‘Jack said I could be his sheepdog.’
For a moment, Susan wondered whether she should just let it go. But the lambs were giggling now as well as prancing. She had to get the situation back under control or the play would end up in chaos. Keeping her voice low and steady, she held out her hand to Neil. ‘Come on now, Neil,’ she said. ‘We’ll get you changed. Jessica, can you and the other lambs stand still please. I need you all to go back into the other room. People are starting to arrive. We want to surprise them, don’t we? If they’ve seen all of you, it won’t be so exciting, will it?’
The three little faces had suddenly become serious. Jessica looked out into the pews. ‘There’s my gran,’ she gasped. Hiding her face, she set off at a gallop towards the side room and the others followed. Heaving a sigh of relief, Susan led Neil back and started to help him on with his costume.
Five minutes later, Susan was crouching beside Herbie Dhanjal putting the finishing touches to Mary’s outfit. Herbie looked really sweet in her pale-blue tunic with a long white scarf wrapped over her head and round her shoulders. ‘That’s you done,’ Susan said, just as a shadow fell on her. She looked up and her heart missed a beat.
‘Hello,’ Douglas said. He smiled and held out a hand. ‘I just popped in to see how the scenery was holding up.’ His grin had widened and Susan felt herself smiling back, amused by his flimsy excuse. All round them, the children were oblivious, caught up in their own excitement.
His hand was warm and dry as he pulled her upright. They were so close. Though only their fingers were touching, butterflies coursed round Susan’s abdomen.
‘Well, in spite of a bit of sheep rustling, everything’s holding up perfectly so far,’ she told him.
‘Susan?’ Armando’s mum appeared in the doorway and Susan turned, feeling her face reddening, but Armando’s mum seemed oblivious too.
‘That’s Armando done, but Herbie wants you to come. Something about the manger …’
Susan turned back to Douglas. ‘I’d better go,’ she said, hoping her tone sounded unremarkable.
Douglas sent her another secret smile and a tiny wink. ‘I’ll go and find a seat,’ he said. ‘Let me know if the stable needs any running repairs.’
‘Thanks, Mr MacLeod,’ Susan said. It came out a little too loud and she had to lift her hand and cover her mouth to cover up the grin that had appeared.
She followed Armando’s mum to the manger, though she could barely stop her eyes following Douglas. He had taken a seat near the front at the end of a row. He sat there, gazing into space and she found herself wondering what he was thinking about. Was his mind on her? Or was he planning his next drawing? Either way, he looked dreamy.
‘Miss Collins?’ Susan pulled her attention back to the manger. Herbie blinked up at her with huge eyes. ‘Is it okay to put Baby Jesus straight on the hay? It might be too spiky for him.’
‘It’ll be fine, Herbie,’ Susan told her. ‘But it’s time for us all to get off the set now. Everyone’s arriving. We need to start in two minutes.’ Herbie gave a nervous smile and trotted back through. Susan followed. As well as Douglas, she had been keeping an eye out for Michael and there he was at the door. ‘Excuse me a second,’ she said to Armando’s mum. ‘I just need to go and …’ She changed direction without finishing the sentence and met Michael, halfway up the side aisle.
‘Hello.’ He was obviously making an effort. His clothes were smart casual, his expression open, though a little wary, as if he wasn’t sure of his welcome.
‘Hi.’ Susan looked him directly in the eye. She wanted to get this right, here face to face for the first time since all the problems. Firm but fair. That was what she was aiming for. ‘Welcome to the Nativity,’ she said. ‘Jack’s been looking forward to seeing you. We’ll come and have a chat afterwards.’ She paused, then took a deep breath, keeping her eyes steady, holding his gaze. ‘Douglas is here,’ she told him. ‘He painted the scenery and lots of the children know him. As we discussed, my relationship status doesn’t concern you. If you speak to him, I expect you to be polite and friendly. Jack will be upset if there’s any tension.’
Michael nodded. ‘I understand,’ he said. ‘I’m here for Jack and that’s what I’ll focus on.’ He seemed a little stiff, but there was no antagonism.
‘Thank you,’ Susan said. She nodded to him once, then turned and marched back to the vestry. He was going to have trouble finding a seat, she thought. The church was just as full as it had been last year. But there was no time to worry about it. It was time to begin.
It was a lovely Nativity. Armando and Herbie were word perfect. Susan felt especially proud of Jack. His fellow shepherd Kendall was nervous, but Jack encouraged her and nudged her when she missed her cue. He said his own lines very clearly too.
Halfway through, Susan glanced out into the audience. Her eyes opened wide when she saw where Michael was sitting. He had ended up beside Douglas. Had he done it on purpose? But there was no antagonism on either of their faces. As she watched, she saw Michael lean in and say something to Douglas. Douglas smiled and nodded. It looked surprisingly congenial. A few more minutes and she could relax. She turned her eyes back to the stage.
‘Daddy!’ Stripped of his tunic, his hair on end from the tea towel, Jack raced up the aisle towards Michael. Susan followed more slowly. Michael reached out and pulled something from a plastic bag he’d been carrying earlier. It was a present, box-shaped and roughly wra
pped, as if by someone who’d struggled. Had Michael wrapped it himself? Susan wondered. It looked very different from the tidy gift-wrap service he usually paid for. ‘This is for you, Jack. Happy Christmas.’ Michael smiled as he handed it over.
Jack’s eyes were shining. ‘Thank you, Daddy! Mummy, can I open it now?’
‘Yes, you go ahead.’ Susan nodded.
Douglas was still sitting in the pew. He swivelled round as Jack began to tear at the paper.
‘Look, Mummy!’ Jack’s voice was thrilled. He held out a nesting box. It had two storeys, one above the other, and was made of rustic wood, shrouded in moss and twigs. It would blend into their garden perfectly.
‘How lovely,’ Susan said.
‘Thank you.’ Jack looked up at Michael, who looked pleased.
Douglas stood up and walked over to Jack. ‘What have you got there?’ he asked, crouching down and smiling as Jack held out the wonderful gift to show him. ‘It’s brilliant,’ he said a moment later. ‘Your daddy must have thought a lot about what you’d like. You’re a lucky boy.’
Jack smiled, looking a little shy. He still wasn’t wholly used to the idea of having a daddy, Susan thought, though he was fast getting used to it. She glanced over at Michael. To her pleasure, he still looked perfectly happy. He and Douglas exchanged nods. Susan found herself smiling. It was all going better than she had dared to hope.
Douglas turned to Susan and smiled. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I have to be getting off now.’ He swivelled round. ‘You were brilliant.’ He grinned down at Jack, who beamed up at him. ‘I’ll see you soon,’ he said, turning back to Susan. His voice was calm and he didn’t reach out. He seemed determined not to give Michael any cause for resentment.
