by Kitty Neale
‘I know, it must be very weird for you. One minute he’s your fiancé, and now he’s your sister’s. You’re over him though, ain’t you?’
‘I thought I was, but now I’m not so sure. I suppose I’ll have to be,’ Jenny answered.
For the rest of the day, Jenny worked in silence and tried to stop thinking about Gloria and Jack, but it wasn’t easy. She was glad when it was finally time to clock off, and couldn’t wait to get home to tell her gran. It was daft to feel like this really, but what she needed right now was a cup of tea and sympathy and her gran was just the person to offer it.
Chapter 51
The bitter cold weather of January and February passed, spring broke and Easter arrived. Brian had promised Lizzie that this bank holiday Monday would be the last day he’d spend at home with his wife and three children, but once again she doubted he’d keep his word. She’d given up threatening to leave him and concluded that he’d never be able to afford to run two homes. Unless she could find a man with better prospects, she was going to be stuck in this bedsit for the foreseeable. She needed someone who had a few bob, a man who earned a darn sight more than Brian did as a delivery man.
Lizzie placed four chocolate eggs in her shopping bag and set off to her mother’s house. It had been a while since she’d seen her children and, as Brian was with his wife and kids for the day, she thought she might as well be with hers. The sun shone, highlighting her blonde hair, as she strode along the street. She knew heads were turning and returned a coquettish smile to a man who cycled past her. He was probably young enough to be her son, but Lizzie was keeping her options open and her preying eyes peeled for a new man to take care of her. She liked Brian, he was kind and gentle, but she was sick of being his mistress and feeling second best to his wife.
‘Hello, it’s only me,’ she called as she let herself into her mum’s. Before she’d even closed the front door, Timmy and Peter had charged up the hallway with great big smiles on their small faces. She was always delighted by the way they greeted her, but the same couldn’t be said about her mother and Jenny. ‘Let me get through the door,’ she said to her sons. ‘I’ve got something for you in my bag.’
‘What is it?’ Peter asked, jumping up and down on the spot with excitement.
‘You’ll see in a minute but let me sit down first.’
Lizzie walked into the front room and wasn’t surprised to see her mother’s disapproving look or Jenny’s disenchanted frown. Pamela mostly seemed indifferent as she sat gazing out of the window, and she wondered if the girl lived in a world of her own.
‘Nice of you to show your face,’ Edith said sardonically.
‘Seeing as it’s a holiday today, I guessed you’d all be home and I’ve brought you these,’ Lizzie answered and pulled the eggs from her bag.
‘Cor, thanks, Mum, it’s ginormous,’ Timmy said with delight.
‘Don’t be stuffing yourselves with them now or you’ll spoil your tea. Put them in the kitchen ’til after dinner,’ Edith instructed the boys.
‘But dinner is lots of time away,’ Peter argued.
‘It’s not, it’s only a couple of hours, and don’t answer me back, young man.’
‘Give it to me, Peter, I’ll put it away until later,’ Pamela said.
‘Here’s one for you, Pammie,’ Lizzie said.
‘My name is Pamela,’ she said, but took the egg along with the others to the kitchen.
‘Put the kettle on whilst you’re out there,’ Lizzie yelled.
‘You’ve not got Goliath with you today?’
‘No, Mum, and his name is Brian.’
‘Why isn’t he with you?’
‘He’s with his family.’
‘Oh, what family is that then?’ her mother probed.
‘His children. He’s got three girls.’
‘I see, and are they with their mother?’
‘Yes.’
‘So, he’s with his ex-wife and kids?’
Lizzie wanted to tell her mother to mind her own business but impatiently answered, ‘Yes, that’s right, Mum, except she’s not his ex-wife.’
‘He’s married then?’
‘Yes, you know he is. Now can we drop it, please?’
‘It’s no wonder Gloria is the way she is,’ Edith said and rolled her eyes.
‘How is she? I haven’t seen her for Gawd knows how long.’
Lizzie saw her mother and Jenny exchange a look and wondered what was going on. They clearly knew something she didn’t.
‘She’s getting married … to Jack,’ Jenny answered.
‘Jack? But isn’t he the bloke you were seeing?’
‘Yep.’
‘Blimey, that’s a bit of a turnaround. When’s the big day?’ she asked.
‘I’m told it’s going to be in September, but Gloria hasn’t invited us.’
‘Why not?’
‘We fell out.’
‘Why?’
Jenny sighed. ‘Because I told her not to bring Jack here.’
‘Why not?’
‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Lizzie,’ Edith said. ‘Ain’t it bleedin’ obvious? Jack was once going to marry Jenny, but they broke up and now he’s going to marry Gloria.’
‘Well, if you ask me, it ain’t the end of the world.’
‘Yeah, well, you’re as insensitive as Gloria, so you would say that,’ Edith admonished.
Lizzie was beginning to wish she hadn’t come now, but then Peter held out his arms and she pulled him onto her lap. ‘How are you getting on, Pam?’ she asked her daughter when she came back into the room, though she didn’t expect much more than a one-word answer.
‘Fine. I’ve been offered a full-time trainee hairdressing job at Sally’s Salon when I leave school.’
‘Ah, that’s smashing. I’ll be down once a week to get me hair done on the cheap.’ Lizzie smiled and patted her curls. ‘Actually, I’ve got a bit of news too. Well, not news but gossip. Do you remember Mrs Golding? She lived down the end of our street.’
‘Huh, how could I forget her?’ said Edith. ‘She was a right one when we were younger. She tried it on with your father once, scared the bleedin’ life out of him.’
‘You mean the tiny old woman with the really, really long white hair?’ Jenny asked.
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ Lizzie answered.
‘What about her?’ Edith asked.
‘Boys, do me a favour and go and draw me something pretty to put on my wall. My place could do with brightening up and you’re so good at doing pictures,’ she said, urging Peter from her lap. She waited for her sons to run off then continued, ‘I bumped into her the other day and she said her eldest son is doing time in Wandsworth prison. He told her that Henry is in there! Apparently, he got himself nicked for breaking into a pub, that one up near the Common. She said he wasn’t after the takings, but the police found him passed out behind the bar with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.’
‘From what Gloria told me about the last time she saw him, I can’t say I’m surprised,’ Jenny said sadly.
‘Shocking, isn’t it? He always liked a drink, but he’s really hit rock bottom now,’ Lizzie replied.
Edith shrugged her shoulders and said, ‘I don’t have any sympathy for the man. He’s got what was coming to him.’
‘Mum, I know you never liked him,’ Lizzie said, ‘but he doesn’t deserve this. Maybe a stint in Wandsworth will do him good though, sober him up.’
‘Prison is too good for him,’ Edith said, ‘Now no more talk of him. Pamela, go and make a fresh pot of tea.’
As soon as the girl was out of sight, Edith turned to Jenny and said, ‘Are you all right, love?’
‘Whenever I hear talk of my dad, I’m reminded of the baby I lost.’
‘I know, sweetheart, he’s a wicked man, but at least you know that you’re safe now. From what Lizzie has told us, he’s banged up behind bars and can never hurt you again.’
Lizzie frowned, and said, ‘Hold on. What’s this abo
ut you losing a baby, Jenny? Who was the father and what did Henry have to do with you losing it?’
Jenny just shook her head and called, ‘Boys, have you finished the pictures?’
A little voice yelled back, ‘Nearly.’
‘So, you ain’t going to answer my questions?’ Lizzie said.
‘I don’t want to talk about it, least of all to you,’ Jenny snapped.
Lizzie reeled in shock. Jenny had never spoken to her like that before. Her daughter’s face was set, and her mother was looking at her with disdain as usual. Lizzie stood up. She just wanted to get out of the flat and away from the repressive atmosphere. Whatever had happened to Jenny, they clearly didn’t want her to know about it, and that was fine with her.
Jenny couldn’t sleep and worried her fidgeting would wake Pamela. She quietly climbed out of the bed and padded through to the front room. A street lamp threw some light into part of the room, highlighting the picture on the wall that her brothers had painted for her on her birthday. She walked across and stared at the happy scene. Living in that house with Craig had been the best time of her life. The memories came flooding back and though they were filled with love and laughter, the pain of losing the man she’d cherished, and his unborn child, stabbed her like a knife in the heart.
She began to sob and tried to stifle the sound. The news of her father today had brought everything back. Emotions she’d buried – feelings she’d ignored – sadness she’d hidden and even the hate she’d denied. Everything had once been perfect, and Jenny knew she’d never have that again.
The next morning, Jenny woke up tired, but better for allowing herself a good cry. She’d needed that, but today was another day and she was determined to put on a bright face.
The rest of the household were already up and buzzing around when she walked into the front room. Her brothers were eating their breakfast, her grandmother was sitting in her armchair with a bowl on her lap and peeling potatoes, and Pamela was tweaking her hair in the mirror.
‘Morning, love,’ Edith said.
‘Good morning. Gran, why are you peeling spuds at this time of the morning?’
‘Pamela said she’s going to take the boys out for the day, you’ve got to go to work, so I thought I’d help out by making a start on the dinner.’
‘Gran, it’s seven in the morning!’
‘Yes, well, there’s nothing wrong with getting a head start.’
Jenny smiled warmly at her gran, then said to Pamela, ‘Where are you all off to?’
‘Me and Linda are going to take the boys on a bus to Clapham Common. There’s a bit of an Easter fête still going on around the bandstand.’
‘That’s nice. Take some change from my purse for the bus fares. Timmy, Peter, you be good for your sister.’
‘We will,’ Timmy answered through a mouthful of bread and jam.
Jenny quickly drank a cup of tea and then set off for the factory. The schools were still on Easter break so the streets were much quieter than usual. As she clocked on, Tina came in behind her.
‘All right, Jenny. Did you have a nice bank holiday?’
‘Yes, thanks. You?’
‘Not really, I was up to my eyes in laundry and me old man’s got a stinking cold. Blimey, the way he was carrying on anyone would think he was dying. Still, I suppose anything’s better than coming into this place.’
Jenny looked around to check that nobody else could hear her and said, ‘My mum came round and told us my dad is in Wandsworth prison.’
‘Blimey, that’s a turn-up for the books. After what he did, I bet you’re happy about that.’
‘Sort of.’
‘Have you been crying? Your eyes look a bit puffy,’ Tina asked with concern.
‘I had a bit of a weep last night, but it’s done me the world of good.’
‘Better out than in. You shouldn’t bottle stuff up. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Mind you, the thought of coming back into work is enough to make anyone cry,’ Tina said and laughed. Jenny forced herself to join in.
‘’Ere, you’ll never guess what happened on Friday.’
‘No, Tina, I never will. It’s always a madhouse at yours.’
‘My eldest decided she wanted to cook some hard-boiled eggs and decorate them for Easter. I said I didn’t mind ’cos I would make some sandwiches with them. So I leave her to it and I’m upstairs changing the beds, when all of a sudden I hear this almighty bang. I jumped out of my skin and ran downstairs, and on the way heard another bang, then another. Well, when I walked into the kitchen, you’ve never seen anything like it! There was egg all over the place, up the walls, all over the cooker, even on the ceiling! Exploding eggs, who’d have thought it? She’d gone out and forgotten about leaving them on the boil and the pan had gone dry. I’m telling you, Jen, the bloody state of my kitchen, she’s lucky I didn’t crack her head open.’
‘I’m sorry, Tina, I shouldn’t laugh, but …’
‘Yeah, well, wait ’til we get seated and I’ll tell you what happened on Sunday night. The bloody antics in my house, I could write a book about them.’
Jenny looked forward to hearing Tina’s stories of her hectic home life. They always made the day pass quicker, and before she realised, it was only two hours to go until home time.
Percy, the oldest man in the factory, slowly walked past the women’s bench pushing a trolley laden with components. He rarely spoke, so when Jenny heard him say her name, she looked up surprised.
‘Oi, Jenny, Bob said he saw your little sister hanging about outside the gates. She had the little ’uns with her too.’
Jenny quickly said to Tina, ‘Cover for me while I go and see what Pamela wants.’
Tina nodded as Jenny dashed across the factory, hoping that Miss Aston didn’t spot her slipping out of the building. As she ran across the yard she could see Pamela looking agitated and her heart began to pound.
‘Oh, Jenny, I didn’t know what to do …’ Pamela cried.
‘What on earth’s the matter?’
‘Please, you have to come home … now … please, Jenny, come home …’
Pamela was beginning to cry hysterically, and Jenny began to fear the worst. ‘Pam, calm down and tell me what’s wrong.’
‘It’s Gran … we came home, and I thought she was asleep, but … but … I think she’s dead.’
Pamela began to wail and that set the boys off. It must have been such a traumatic shock for them, but Jenny found herself numb, unable to feel anything. She had to take control and be strong, but, most importantly, she had to get home, fast. ‘Wait here, I’ll be two minutes,’ Jenny said and hurried back into the factory. She collected her bag and ran up the stairs to Miss Aston’s office. She tapped on the door but didn’t wait to be told to enter. Instead she burst in and said quickly, ‘I’m sorry, Miss Aston, I have to go home. My gran has died.’
Jenny didn’t wait for the woman’s approval. She flew back down the stairs and out of the factory without clocking off. ‘Come on, let’s go,’ she said, picking up Peter while Pam held Timmy’s hand.
They were soon outside their gran’s flat. Jenny paused and stared at the front door, praying that Pamela had got it wrong. ‘Wait here,’ she said to her siblings. Her hand shook as she placed the key in the lock. ‘Please, don’t be dead,’ she whispered.
Once indoors, she walked slowly up the hallway and called, ‘Gran …’
No answer.
‘Just be sleeping,’ she said. ‘Please, just be asleep.’
She stepped into the front room and stared in horror at her gran in her armchair. The old woman’s face was deathly white, and her lips looked blue.
‘Oh, no,’ Jenny gasped. She ran to her gran’s side and gently grabbed her hand, but it felt so cold. ‘Wake up, Gran, please wake up …’
A dark cloud seemed to descend as she realised the woman she loved so dearly was gone. ‘Oh, Gran,’ she whispered, ‘tell Craig and my baby how much I love them … I wish I could come with you …�
�
Chapter 52
‘Where is she?’ Lizzie asked Jenny as she burst into the front room of her mother’s flat. Pamela had come to get her from Brian’s bedsit, but now her youngest daughter said she’d wait outside because she couldn’t face going back into the flat.
‘I called the doctor and he sent for an ambulance. They’ve taken her away, Mum.’
‘Is she … is she?’
‘Yes, the doctor said he thought her heart failed.’
Lizzie was surprised that Jenny wasn’t crying. She’d always been so close to her gran, but now she seemed to be holding herself together. ‘Where are the boys?’ she asked as she looked around the room.
‘With Linda, Pamela’s friend. She dropped them there on her way to get you. I didn’t want them seeing Gran being taken away in the ambulance.’
‘No, good thinking,’ Lizzie said, then turned to look at Pamela, who walked slowly into the room. The girl seemed traumatised. She had hardly spoken as they’d dashed here, and she didn’t look any better now. ‘You’ve both had a terrible shock. I’ll make you a strong cup of tea,’ she volunteered, feeling ineffectual.
‘I made Gran a cup of tea …’ Pamela said and looked at the cold cup on the side. ‘The boys were playing on the floor in front of her … We didn’t know she was … dead.’ She began to weep again and ran to the bedroom. Lizzie went to follow her.
‘Leave her, Mum,’ said Jenny. ‘Let her be. We need to tell Gloria.’
‘All right, Jenny. I’ll stay here with Pam while you go round to Gloria’s. She’ll have finished work by now.’
‘Can’t you go, Mum?’
‘Leave it out, Jenny. I’ve only just found out my mother is dead and I’m hardly in any state to go traipsing to Gloria’s place. Pam can’t go, you’ve seen the state of her and I’m sorry, but that only leaves you.’
Lizzie saw Jenny take a deep breath as though she was about to argue, but instead she picked up her bag and walked towards the door.
‘Make sure you stay with Pamela until I get back.’
‘Yes, of course I will. Honestly, I don’t know what you take me for,’ Lizzie snapped.
