by Kitty Neale
‘That’s it. I’ve had it to the back teeth with you nagging me and you ain’t even me wife yet!’ Jack shouted as he marched towards the front door.
Gloria was close on his heels but missed his arm as she reached out to grab him. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’
‘Out! Anywhere to get away from you. Christ, I wish you was more like your sister!’ Jack shouted over his shoulder, then slammed the door behind him as he left.
Gloria stared at the front door and felt too angry to cry. It wasn’t the first time he’d compared her to Jenny and she wondered if he was still in love with her. They seemed to be constantly arguing lately. In fact, the only time they didn’t was when they were making love. Jenny had never given herself to him, and now, as she looked down at her swollen stomach, Gloria wished she hadn’t either. Jack had talked about feeling trapped, but she felt the same and wondered if there was any chance of them ever being happy.
Chapter 57
Lizzie let herself into her mother’s flat and was surprised to see a suitcase in the middle of the front room.
‘Hello, are you off to somewhere nice?’ she asked as her sons jumped up to greet her
‘Yes, a week away at Butlin’s,’ Jenny answered.
This was good news to Lizzie. She knew Jenny couldn’t have afforded Butlin’s on her salary, so the girl must have sold the diamond. ‘You’ll all enjoy that,’ she said to Timmy and ruffled his hair before drawing Jenny to one side. ‘Can I have a quick word, please, in private?’
Jenny nodded, and Lizzie followed her through to the bedroom, saying as soon as the door closed, ‘I take it you sold the diamond?’
‘Yes.’
‘How much did you get for it?’
‘One hundred and seventy-five quid.’
‘Is that all? You were robbed!’
‘Maybe, but it’s better than nothing, and I just wanted rid of it.’
‘You should have held out for more. Who did you sell it to?’
‘A friend’s husband sold it for me.’
‘I bet he got a lot more than that. They must have seen you coming.’
‘No, Mum, I don’t think they did. They’re not like that and he only took a cut of twenty-five pounds.’
‘You’re too bloody trusting, that’s your problem.’
‘Not everyone’s like you,’ Jenny said under her breath but loud enough for Lizzie to hear.
‘At least I ain’t a pushover. Anyway, this friend, do you think her husband could sell mine?’
‘But you just said he ripped me off.’
‘Yeah, but at the end of the day, a couple of hundred quid each is better than none.’
‘I don’t know if he can or not, but I’m not asking for you.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I don’t want anything more to do with the diamonds.’
‘Oh, I see, you’re all right, so bugger the rest of us!’
‘No, Mum, it isn’t like that. I was a nervous wreck carrying that one diamond around and I don’t want to carry even more.’
‘Well then, introduce me to your friend and I’ll ask her myself.’
‘I should never have asked her to help me. It put her husband at risk, so I don’t want him involved with selling yours.’
‘That should be his decision, not yours.’
‘It doesn’t matter what you say, I’m not going to put you in touch with him. You wanted all those diamonds for yourself, so you can work out how to sell them.’
Jenny left the room, and when Lizzie called out to her to come back she was ignored. It was clear her daughter wasn’t going to change her mind, so, annoyed, Lizzie just went to the threshold of the lounge and said through gritted teeth before she left, ‘Right then. Have a nice holiday and I’ll see you when you come back.’
‘Don’t go, Mummy,’ Peter cried.
‘Please don’t start, Peter. I told you, I’ll see you soon,’ Lizzie answered impatiently and left before her son became hysterical. Just before she closed the front door behind her, she heard Jenny shout, ‘By the way, Gloria is getting married tomorrow.’
Huh, good luck to her, Lizzie thought, uncaring and too angry to think about it. Just when she needed her, Jenny had refused to help. The girl had turned out to be as selfish as Gloria. Well, from now on, the pair of them could go to hell.
The next morning, as the train trundled towards Bognor, Jenny looked at her brothers’ elated faces. Their joy had confirmed that she’d made the right decision to boycott Gloria’s wedding in favour of a holiday. She looked at her watch. They’d be gathering at the register office about now. She attempted to push all images of the happy couple from her mind. This trip to Bognor was supposed to be a distraction, yet she was finding it difficult to enjoy herself when she knew her sister was about to become Jack’s wife. Why did it bother her so much? She didn’t love him. She had never truly loved him. Or had she?
‘We’ll be there soon,’ Pamela said.
‘Yes, and once we’re settled in I’ll challenge you to beat me on the dodgem cars,’ Jenny chirped, trying to sound jolly.
‘Can I come in the car with you, Pam?’ Peter asked.
‘Yes, all right.’
‘I’ll be with Jenny and we’re gonna smash your car up, ain’t we, Jenny?’ said Timmy.
‘I think the idea is to not crash into each other, hence the name dodgem cars,’ Pamela said, laughing.
They soon pulled into the station and Jenny retrieved their cases from the racks above the seats. ‘Blimey, Pam, this one weighs a ton. I reckon you’ve packed enough to last a month, not a week,’ she joked.
After a short bus ride, Jenny was relieved to finally be checking in and making their way to their accommodation. As they walked past rows and rows of identical wooden chalets, Pamela whispered, ‘Do you think it looks like a prison camp?’
‘No, of course not. It’s so clean and tidy, I can’t wait to get inside our one.’
‘Can we go in the pool?’ Timmy asked.
‘I want to go to the funfair first,’ Peter protested.
‘All in good time,’ Jenny told them. ‘We can do both and more, but first let’s get unpacked and then we can explore. Remember, we’re here for a whole week, so we haven’t got to do everything in one day.’
Over half an hour later, and thrilled with their chalet, Jenny found herself trying to keep up with her brothers as they ran from one attraction to another. ‘Wait for me,’ she called, ‘you’ll get lost.’
‘Don’t worry, we’ve never lost a child yet,’ Jenny heard a voice say from behind and turned to see a pretty woman about the same age as herself wearing a red jacket.
‘It’s such a big place, they’re so excited and I don’t want them running off,’ Jenny answered and quickened her pace to catch up with her brothers.
‘Have you just arrived?’
‘Yes, a short while ago.’
‘I’m Nancy, one of the children’s entertainers. We’ve got a really good kids’ club here and I’m sure your sons will have a wonderful time.’
‘I’m Jenny and this is my sister Pamela. Those two little monsters are my brothers, Timmy the eldest and Peter.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, I just assumed—’
‘It’s fine, it happens a lot.’
‘Why don’t you let me take them to meet the other younger guests in the club? It’ll give you two a chance to find your way around and see what Butlin’s has to offer.’
‘Oh, I don’t know, thank you, but—’
‘It’s my job, I’d be happy to,’ Nancy replied, flashing a big smile that showed her perfectly white teeth.
‘If you’re sure?’
‘Of course I am. The club is being held in the playground area today. You’ll find us just behind the dining room. Come and pick them up in an hour or so.’
‘All right,’ Jenny agreed then called to her brothers.
Thankfully, when Nancy told them about the club, Timmy and Peter were happy to go off with he
r. Jenny watched them for a while, but they didn’t look back; instead they were looking up at Nancy as she chatted to them.
‘This is nice, we can relax for a while now,’ she said to Pamela. ‘Where to first?’
‘This way,’ Pamela answered, ‘I’m sure I spotted a sign for a hair salon.’
Jenny rolled her eyes and followed Pamela. Oh well, she thought, whatever makes the girl happy, though she’d have rather explored the swimming pool.
Gloria sat in the pub with half a pint of Guinness in her hand. Tina had told her it was good for pregnant women, but after one sip she decided she didn’t like it.
‘Congratulations, or should I say condolences?’ Jack’s mate Trev said as he plonked himself down on a chair beside her. ‘Only larking, you’ve got yourself a good man there.’
‘Thanks,’ Gloria answered as she watched Jack down his fifth pint of beer, ‘but I think I’ll have an unconscious man soon.’
‘He’s all right. Jack can handle his beer, and if a bloke can’t have a good drink on his wedding day, when can he?’
‘What are you two having a chat about?’ Jack asked as he approached them.
Gloria noticed he was leaning slightly to one side. So much for him being able to handle his beer, she thought.
‘Nothing, mate, I was just telling Gloria what a good bloke you are,’ Trev answered, then stood up and added, with a wink at Jack before he sloped off, ‘I’ll leave you newly-weds to it.’
Jack took the seat his friend had vacated and said, ‘It’s a shame your lot didn’t turn up. It would have been nice to see Jenny.’
‘Disappointed, are you?’ Gloria asked with a sarcastic tone.
‘For you, yes.’
‘For yourself more like,’ she sneered.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You’re obviously still holding a torch for her!’
‘Fucking hell, Gloria, can’t you be happy for once? It’s our wedding day. I married you, not your sister, though I’m beginning to wonder if I made the right choice!’
With that Jack got up and stormed to the bar. She saw him order a short which he quickly knocked back and then he glanced across at her with a look of disgust on his face. So much for it being the happiest day of my life, she thought, especially as her new husband clearly found her revolting.
Chapter 58
Friday had come around too soon. Their week’s stay at the holiday camp would be over tomorrow, but as Jenny finished her dinner in the large dining hall, she realised she’d hardly thought about Gloria and Jack.
Pamela interrupted her thoughts as she said softly, ‘They offered me a job in the hair salon today.’
‘I’m not surprised, you’ve spent most of your holiday in there and when they gave you a chance, I’m sure they were impressed with what you can do with hair.’
‘They were. I wasn’t allowed to do any cuts or colours, but I was allowed to put a few women’s hair up, and they said they were the best styles they’ve seen.’
‘I don’t doubt that.’
‘I was speaking to Nancy earlier and she said that if I take the job at the salon, I’ll get staff accommodation.’
Jenny pushed her plate to one side. ‘So you’re going to live as well as work here?’
‘I’d love to, Jenny, but I’m worried about leaving you to look after Timmy and Peter on your own.’
Jenny checked behind to see that her brothers were still busy filling up their bowls with ice-cream. She’d been left at a young age to care for her siblings, and she didn’t want Pamela to have to sacrifice her life too. ‘If this is what you really want, then do it. I’ll cope. I’m sure I could arrange for someone to have them after school. We’ll miss you, but you’ll only be an hour away from London.’
‘Oh, Jenny, are you sure?’
‘Yes, I can see how happy you are, and I don’t want to stand in your way. If I was given the opportunity, I’d grab it with both hands.’
‘Thank you … thank you so much! There’s Mrs Dean, the salon manageress. I’ll go and tell her that I’d love the job. If she wants me to start straightaway, I’ll have to wait for my day off to come and collect the rest of my clothes.’
While Pamela ran off happily, Jenny was left to contemplate the thought of returning to Balham without her. She didn’t like the idea of it but staying here was the right thing for her sister.
‘Where’s Pam?’ Timmy asked as he sat back down with his second bowl of ice-cream.
‘She’s talking to her new boss. Pamela is going to stay here and work in the hair salon. Isn’t that exciting?’
‘Are we staying here too?’ Timmy asked.
‘No, darling, I’m afraid we have to go home.’
‘I don’t want to,’ Peter said as he joined them.
‘I know how you feel, but we can’t stay on holiday forever.’
‘My friend in the kids’ club said that he lives by the seaside and it’s really, really good,’ Peter said, then stuck his bottom lip out and added, ‘I wish we did too.’
Jenny was about to reply when a rather tall redcoat came to their table and said cheerily, ‘There’s an end-of-week party in the main hall tonight. I hope you’re coming, Jenny?’
Jenny looked up at the man and instantly felt her cheeks turn as red as his jacket. His eyes were just like Craig’s and took her breath away. She’d seen him from a distance over the week and knew that he was an instructor at the dance classes. She wished now that she’d had the courage to attend. He’d spoken to her using her name but she had no idea how he knew it, and was too shocked to ask.
‘Can we go?’ Timmy begged.
‘I’m afraid it’ll be past your bedtime, young man.’
‘But you’ll still be coming, won’t you?’ the redcoat asked.
‘I don’t think so, I … erm … I …’
‘It’ll be fun, and I need a dance partner. Please, say you’ll come?’
‘I’m sure there’ll be plenty of women there to dance with.’ Jenny blushed.
‘Yes, but none as pretty as you,’ the redcoat said cheekily.
Jenny couldn’t help but smile back at him and felt her stomach flip. She’d have liked to agree but her shyness held her back.
‘I’ll see you there, Jenny, at half past seven,’ he said, ‘and if you can’t find me, just ask for Nick.’
Pamela came back to the table just as Nick disappeared into the crowds. ‘You’ll never guess what just happened,’ Jenny whispered to her sister.
‘Nick came over and asked you to the dance tonight.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘He’s had his eye on you all week but hasn’t had the nerve to speak to you. His sister works in the salon and we were having lunch when Nick joined us. He told her about this redhead that he liked, and we soon worked out it was you. It took a bit of doing ’cos he was ever so nervous, but we managed to talk him into asking you out.’
‘So that’s how he knew my name! He’s a redcoat, I wouldn’t have thought he’d be the nervous type.’
‘He’s not normally. I guess that’s the effect you have on men,’ Pamela said, smiling.
‘Leave off, you daft mare.’
‘Can you believe this, Jenny, I’m going to be working here and now you’re going on a date with a redcoat!’
‘It’s not a date, just a dance, and it’s probably just his job to go round to tell everyone about the party,’ Jenny protested. She hadn’t come to Bognor looking for romance, she’d come to get away from the anguish of home. A new man in her life was the last thing she needed!
‘Well, I think you should go. It’s your last night here and you should enjoy yourself.’
‘I’ll think about it,’ Jenny said, but as the tune of ‘Poetry in Motion’ began to play through the speakers, her thoughts took her to Balham. It had been one of Craig’s favourites. He couldn’t hear the music, but he could feel the beat and he used to say the words of the song to her. Memories of him filled her min
d, along with the pain of losing him and his baby.
There’d been so much misery, but then she’d found short-lived happiness with Jack, until he’d rejected her family only to move on and start one of his own with her sister. Then her dear old gran passed away. She still hadn’t come to terms with that, and living in the flat was a daily reminder – and of Craig when they’d lived upstairs. The more she thought about it, the more she realised she had nothing to go home for.
As the song came to an end, Jenny glanced at the ring on her finger and remembered her gran’s written words. She could almost hear the woman whispering in her ear, ‘You only ever regret the things you didn’t do.’
With her gran’s encouragement, her mind was made up. She was being unusually impulsive, but she felt sure it was the right decision. The boys wanted to live on the coast, and Pamela already had a job here. There was nothing to stop her finding them a home too. She’d be away from the agonising memories of the people she’d loved and lost, and away from any further hurt her mother, father or Gloria could cause.
Jenny felt a surge of renewed energy. She’d told her gran that 1963 was going to be her year, and she’d make it just that. This would be a new start, and Jenny couldn’t think of a better way to begin afresh. With a beaming smile and feeling lighter than she had in ages, she announced, ‘Pamela, boys … we’re all moving to Bognor!’
The End
Acknowledgements
Special thanks to my agent, Judith Murdoch, and the fabulous team at Avon Books UK.
Phoebe Morgan, you’ve been a fantastic editor to work with. I wish you every success in your new role – I shall miss you!
I’d also like to thank Christine Eccles and the contributors in the Facebook group, Battersea Memories. You’ve helped fill in the gaps of my memories of Battersea on many occasions.
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