by H. J. Lawson
Staring at the picture, I realize how different I look now … my hair is shorter and lighter. It's my hazel-green eyes that look the most different, though. They have lost the youthful, carefree sparkle they once had—even though when I was here, I wasn’t exactly care-free. But I had other things to distract me, taking me away from what my family was really doing.
Now they have my sister, Skylier. The thought of what Xander will do to her makes me sick. How can he select his own sister to be his Host?
I’m ashamed of my behavior. I slam my fist down on the drawers, knocking all the other photos over with the blow. Pulling my hands over my face, I look into the mirror in disgust.
I can hear a soft whimpering sound coming from beside my father’s bed, and I turn around, surprised. “Who’s there?”
It's a girl, with my father’s grey satin bed sheet draped over her body.
Her deep brown eyes widen as she stares at me, unblinking. “Help me,” she pleads, as she wipes the tears away from her high cheekbones and full lips.
As her hand trails across her face, I can see her painfully raw, red wrists … she’s been chained up.
She is one of my father’s Bazi.
“Please help me,” she continues to beg, as she reaches out to me.
“Dax!” my father yells. The doors fly open as he enters his quarters.
In the years that have passed he hasn’t aged … in fact, he looks younger. He must’ve had a lot of visits to the lab. He doesn’t look real, more like a plastic mold of himself. I can only guess what Mother will look like. I smile at the thought.
“Do you think this is funny?” he asks, as he walks toward me without taking his eyes off me. That is the only part of him that has aged … his pupils look as though they have eaten up all of the color.
“No, Father,” I reply. Even now I feel as though he controls me. But now is not the time to be weak.
“How have you been?” he asks me, like I’ve just come back from dinner.
“Great, considering you left me to die,” I snap.
He waves his hands in the air. “You have always been so dramatic. You know it was just a test … I cannot have a weak son.” He reaches out to pat me on my shoulder. My body twitches out of the way, leaving his arm hovering in midair.
His breath gets louder, and he grits his teeth in frustration. I need him on my side, I remind myself.
“One of your Bazis?” I say, looking at the girl on the floor.
“Yes.” He leers down at her. “She used to be one of my best Bazis, but not anymore,” he continues silently. “Her body’s not pure like it used to be. Now she’s more interested in getting high. Think it's time to banish her and get a new Bazi.”
My father’s voice floats through my head, sending a shiver up my spine. It's been a long time since I heard his thoughts … but not long enough.
If he banishes her, he’s sending her to her death. She will not be able to survive out there alone.
I stare at him and shake my head. He hasn’t changed a bit.
“Does our way disgust you?” his mind questions me.
I know the only way I will survive, and for Skylier to have any chance, is for me to make him believe I have changed.
I glance at Father and shake my head in a confused way. He looks deeply into my eyes, as though he’s trying to read my mind—as he has tried to do since I was a child.
“Or do you want her for yourself?” he adds softly.
The Bazi whimpers as he asks … as though anyone would be better than him.
“Come on, Father!” I roll my eyes in disgust. As if I want someone who’s been his sexual slave!
An evil roar of laughter comes from his mouth, as he shakes his head.
“Did you have Bazi when you lived with the Grounders?” he asks me. He brushes his hand across his shiny skin. It’s so weird that it looks younger than mine.
“No, they don’t have Bazis,” I reply.
“Really?” Father looks confused. “What else is different about the Grounders?”
I know this is probably my only chance.
“I can tell you what I have learned, Father. I’m sorry for disobeying you. You were right to banish me.” I lower my head toward the marbled floor as a sign of asking for forgiveness.
He steps toward me, but I keep my head down.
“Are you lying to me, Son?” his mind asks me.
I shake my head.
“Look at me,” he says powerfully.
I do as requested.
Our eyes meet; his are darker … hollow … lifeless. The man supposedly has everything. But really he has nothing.
We stare silently at each other, and I block out the sound of the Bazi weeping in the corner.
“Are you lying?” he repeats.
Unblinking, I hold my stare.
“No, Father,” I say firmly, almost convincing myself.
He gives a small smile. He reaches his arm out to pat my shoulder, and this time I allow him to. This is the only type of physical contact he gives me, just as when I was a child. Mother is the same; they see emotion as a sign of weakness. I guess that’s why Xander fits in with them so well. He’s a heartless animal.
“You have to earn your trust back,” Father says sternly.
“I understand,” I reply, trying to sound sincere but not weak.
“You can move back into your old room. My guard will be watching you. We cannot have you wandering around the palace on your own. Not now.”
Not now? He says it's like there is something different here, something I must not see.
“I understand, Father. I will not disobey you, I promise,” I say, lowering my head.
“If you do disobey me, I will kill you myself,” he growls. “I promise you that,” his mind tacks on.
I nod.
"What about Xander? He’s going to be furious that you’re not banishing me," I say, trying to change the subject from his thoughts of killing me.
He pushes out his chest angrily. "I am still the Chancellor … my word is law!”
The doors fly open, much to my relief. “I'm sorry, Chancellor. She refused to wait outside," says one of the guards.
"Dax … Dax! Why are you keeping him from me?!" Mother yells at my father as she hurries toward me. She is the only person who can speak to him this way. She is also an Untouchable, and her face looks as plastic as my father’s.
She stops before she reaches me, looking over at the bed sheet on the ground.
“Bazi. Leave!” Her terrifying voice bellows around the high walls of my father’s room.
The Bazi gets up to her feet, holding the grey satin sheet around her, revealing a golden tattoo band around her arm.
She quickly scurries around the edge of the bed, trying to stay as far away from my parents as possible—she’s obviously terrified of both of them.
Neither look at her; it's as though she’s invisible. As she reaches the doorway, a guard forcefully takes her arm and drags her out of sight. Things really have changed here. Bazis were never treated this badly before … or maybe they were, and I just never knew.
“Really, you need to get some new Bazi,” Mother says, shaking her head.
“I know … I was just saying that to Dax, wasn’t I?”
“Yes, you were,” I say, trying not to sound bitter and twisted like them.
“Let me look at you,” Mother says as she walks toward me. “Dax, you have grown to be a handsome man … war was the right path for you. Your father is a wise man.” She looks over to my father, and her face stays blank as though the lab has removed the ability for her to display emotions. Her face is frozen in its younger form.
“Tonight at the ball you will have to tell me everything,” she adds, clapping her hands in excitement.
“The ball?”
“Tonight is the Host Selection Night and Bazi Selections. All of our Purenet friends will be here,” she says quickly, rubbing her hands together. “And tomorrow we are having a punis
hment ceremony. Shristi, Xander’s wife, will be presenting it … Oh, I need an outfit for that … I will speak to you this evening.”
With that, she turns on her heels and leaves.
Chapter Nine
Skylier
“Skylier?” Madison yells through the group of girls standing by the entrance of the girls’ compound. It takes me a second to realize these girls are my old friends from the Cueva. Instead of their usual brown, their hair is now bleached pure white, the same color as my natural hair. The cloning has begun.
“Move, move,” Madison mutters as the crowd parts.
She flings her arms around me. Tears fill my eyes and drip on my cheek from the pain and relief at seeing her.
“Ouch,” escapes my lips as her grip tightens. Madison instantly recoils. She releases her grip, her warm blue eyes filled with concern. They even changed her eye color from brown; I can see a sliver of brown as the blue contact lens moves a fraction.
“What happened, why are you here? Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy you are. I’ve missed you,” Madison says.
“I’ve missed you too.” Each day away from her felt like a lifetime.
“Why are you here?” Madison repeats her question. The other girls from the Cueva that decided to become a Host hover around us, eagerly waiting for my reply. All of their faces are ghost white, not from the surprise of seeing me, but from makeup.
What will I tell them? That Xander, my older brother, wants me to be the surrogate Host for his baby? Or that Dax, the Chancellor’s son, is my twin brother? Or the worst thing out of all this, that Lowell is on trial for my crimes?
I brush the tears off my cheek as I try to compose myself, and reply, “I changed my mind.”
I long to go back in time and change my decision of going with Dax on Selections Day. Madam Enid is dead because of me. My eyes sting as tears fill them. The heaviness of guilt rides through my veins, making me want to curl up in a dark corner in the Cueva to hide away from the truth. There is no darkness in this room, only the clinical brightness of Purenet.
“Hey, it’s not that bad here,” Madison says, placing her arm around me gently. I try to sniff away the sadness.
“It’s like back in the Cueva, where all the girls share a room. Well, except we leave when we get pregnant…” Madison’s voice drifts off at the end. She doesn’t want to get pregnant, either. “Then we move into the prenatal compound. You missed the tour yesterday. I’m sure they will show you.”
The room looks and feels nothing like our old room back in Cueva. Bright lights hang from the ceiling, making the white floor shimmer like a mirror. The red, dusty floors of our old communal room—which I never thought I would miss, but I do—are gone.
There are rows of single beds filling the room, with a window high up above them. There is a bright, fresh, unmarred blue sky like a painting to another world beaming through it.
Without thinking, I climb up onto one of the beds.
“Skylier, I just made the bed,” Tessa says in protest.
“Sorry,” I say as I peer through the window. The glass cools my hand as press on it. I crave the freedom I once had.
My shoulders slump down. The view is obstructed by another building.
“What’s that building?” I ask.
Madison smiles. Some of the other girls share her reaction. “Why don’t you ask your Rian?”
“What?”
“It’s the boys’ compound, those selected for the Games,” Madison replies.
My eyes widen in response.
“Be quick, Skylier. They are getting ready for training,” Tessa says. Her brother had also been selected.
Even before she can finish speaking, I open my mind to connect with Rian.
Rian... Rian, can you hear me? my mind calls out as I peer through the window.
I see a head bob up in the other compound’s window as Rian’s head swerves around.
Skylier, is that you? Rian asks telepathically.
I let out a sigh of relief.
Yes, it’s me.
Where are you, Skylier?
His head looks toward our compound. He places his hand on the window, just like mine. I want to touch his hand, for him to cradle me in his arms, for him to forgive me.
What are you doing here?
My mind speeds away from me, filling him in on what has happened, leaving out Madam Enid’s murder. The image of her lifeless body is imprinted on my mind—a dirty secret I can’t bear to reveal.
Rian’s mind falls silent, as if the mind dump is too much for him to handle.
Rian, are you still there? I ask.
His head nods, but his mind is blank.
What are we going to do? Rian breaks the silence.
I lower my head into my hand as the heaviness of my thoughts weighs down on me.
The only thing we can do. I will be a Host and you will be in the Games, my mind replies, grateful that I don’t have to say the words out loud.
What? Are you crazy? I’m not staying here after what you just said. I’m getting mother and Callie out of here.
Rian, we can’t. They will kill all of us.
They can’t, his mind replies.
Trust me, they can and they will.
Rian’s head turns away from my direction. Frigging hell, I’ve got to go, his mind says as he glances over to me then disappears out of sight.
Promise me you will not do anything.
I can’t promise.
Rian, please. For me. I can’t bear to lose you.
I will do nothing for now. I will message you when I return.
I love you…
With my hand still on the glass, I wait for a reply, but I know he’s gone.
The girls mutter around the room. The newness of my entrance has lost their interest, which I’m glad of.
“Quick,” Madison says. She and the other girls smooth their soft bed sheets down, folding the corners like a hospital bed. I wonder what’s happened to the lifeless girl Dax and I saw as we were leaving Purenet. How many others are hidden away from the world as the Chancellor conducts his inhuman tests?
“Earth to Skylier,” Madison says.
Earth... Was what mother said true? That there are other people watching us from space who aren’t from earth. Am I one of them because I’m an Untouchable?
I shake my head, snapping my mind from drifting. My mind can’t take any more thoughts. I have to stay focused.
“What’s going on?” I ask. I follow the actions of the other girls, sweeping my hands over the smooth sheets and folding the corners. These are nothing like the ones in Cueva, I think.
Madison had insisted that I take the bed next to her just as we did back in Cueva, much to Layal’s dislike, as she had already claimed this bed as her own. I do feel bad for Layal, but the thought of seeing Madison lying next to me each morning brings me a little comfort.
“It’s time for class,” Madison informs me.
“Class? I thought we were all done with school now?” I ask, confused.
“Out of everyone, I thought you would like the idea of going back to school,” Madison says, screwing up her nose. “It’s not really like school. They teach us about caring for ourselves when we are pregnant, and how to behave in the presence of the Chancellor.” Madison smiles.
“Oh, so they teach us how to be Purenet pets. Great. Thought you said it was like the Cueva,” I say bitterly.
Madison looks at me puzzled for a moment. “What’s going on with you?” Madison asks.
“Nothing.” I shake my head, not wanting Madison to know any more. She stares at me. We have known each other our whole lives, so she can tell I’m lying.
“Stand at the end of your bed,” Madison says as she follows the others. I follow them, then stare at Madison blankly. “Skylier, it’s not that bad,” she tells me.
I look around at the other girls and they don’t look tense, they look happy. More like they are back in the Cueva. Just take one step at a time,
I think to myself.
There is a heavy thud of boots landing on the tiled corridor, the sound familiar. Surely it can’t be. Please, no.
Eva stands across from me at the foot of her bed. Her relaxed face turns stern, frozen with firmness at what is walking down the corridor towards our room.
“Madison.” I lean on Madison’s bed towards her. “That sounds like…” My mouth gapes open before I can finish speaking. It’s Madam Uri.
“Stand up straight, girl,” Madam Uri’s voice bounces off the wall, making everyone in the room stand to attention.
I pause, not wanting to look up. I can’t bear to look at her.
“Now,” she yells, and I jump.
My eyes connect with hers, the pit of darkness in her eyes drawing me into a reminder of everything I’ve done—a black hole of my guilt.
“You!” she snaps.
All the girls’ eyes burn into mine, as if they can see my dirty secrets.
The veins along Madam Uri’s forehead throb as she marches towards me. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just about to ask you the same,” I spit.
Her eyes bulge as red blood vessels in her eyeball become more pronounced. “What did you say?” she asks, stepping in front of me, her face gleaming with sweat and grease.
“You heard me.” A quiver of nerves enter my voice. What the frigging hell am I doing? In the corner of my eye I can see Madison shaking her head warily at me.
Madam Uri grips the front of my dress, lifting me up from my feet. She opens her mouth, and a bitter trail of stale bio meat drifts from her mouth. “Who do you think you are?” I feel weak, as if her touch drained my new confidence from me.
There is a gasp from the girls in the room that I can only just hear over my pounding heart.
“Madam Uri, set the Sanctions’ property down,” says Frances, the nurse that helped clean me up and bandaged my wounds a few hours ago.
A growl comes from Madam Uri’s lips, like she’s a wild animal not wanting to be controlled. Madam Uri scowls at Frances as her hand loosens, dropping me down to the floor.
