“I know, I know… Just be patient with yourself. It will take time, just like anything else in life.” Abe said, the look of concern on his face making me feel better. I could tell that he knew I was having a hard time wrapping my head around all of it.
“About this Alpha female part. How do you know I’m an Alpha, couldn’t I just be your average, everyday dormant female? Not necessarily an Alpha…” My voice wavered off in confusion.
Abe looked at me with the most earnest expression I’d yet seen. “Well, it’s a gut thing mostly. We sense it, mostly. But it also has to do with your inclinations. Most females – err, women will only want one mate and to settle down with that mate. An Alpha female is inclined to have multiple partners since she helps keep the order of the bear clan.”
I wasn’t sold. It couldn’t be that simplistic. Just because I was drawn to Jason, Officer Rotan. I found myself chewing on my lower lip.
“Is it really that simple? Just because I happen to be drawn to two men at the same time? I mean, there are movies about this very thing. It can’t be all that highly unusual…”
Abe leaned back in his chair, an amused look on his face. “Yes, that’s true but typically the character chooses one and settles on him. She doesn’t get to be with both men.”
I flashed another confused look at him. “Are you saying that an Alpha can choose to be with multiple men, simply because she’s an Alpha?”
“Yes, Cass. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
I had to admit, it was both stirring, exciting and crazy all at the same time. But was Abe okay with it or was he just playing along? The last thing I wanted was to hurt him. As it was, I was deeply in unfamiliar territory.
“And you’d be okay with this Alpha aspect about me? How it involves other shifter men?” I asked tentatively, my mind completely blown.
Abe nodded, “I know that may seem strange to you, given the human way of things that you’ve been in your entire life, but yes, I’m okay with it. I have no choice but to be, really.”
“You’d be honest with me if it did bother you, right?” I asked, wanting him to know that his feelings mattered the most to me.
“Well, truth is – I’d be honest with you no matter what. Just the way I’m made. So, that means that since I’m navigating this new development, just be patient with me, okay?”
“Of course. Your feelings matter a great deal to me…” I muttered, nearing stupefaction. “I think this is as much of this conversation as I can handle for right now. Is that okay?” I shared, feeling overwhelmed and glad that I could admit it without fearing judgement on his part.
Abe stood up and in a sweet gesture, indicated for me to sit up so he could sit down next to me on the sofa.
“Of course, no worries. I’ll see you through this, Cass.” He said while gathering me up in his arms and placing a soft kiss on the top of my head.
I’d never felt so safe and cared for in my entire life. I was in heaven. Just the two of us sitting there, snuggling. Feeling his warmth. His firm, rugged physique.
“Let’s just enjoy this, for now. Just being close…” I said quietly.
“Whatever you say, Cass. I’m here for you now.”
My heart swelled. Yes, he was. Like a dream, he’d appeared in my life. As it was, I was still pinching myself when I woke up each day. That it was real. That he was real.
I was falling in love with Abe. And he was my mate.
And I was his Alpha.
Even though I had no idea what in the hell that entailed. But I was willing to be led through it since he was there and by my side. To get me through it.
Chapter Fourteen
(( 14 ))
ABE
Wood working was one of those things that I enjoyed doing when I was deep in thought. Being newer to the Boston area, I had sought out some woodshops to see if I could get work on the side while I built up my editing business.
Gratefully, I’d found a semi-retired wood worker who was willing to share his woodshop a few times a week. He provided me projects that his hands were no longer nimble enough to do on his own. He’d been glad to have someone interested in the woodcraft who was willing to do some of the work he couldn’t finish on his own.
After the very revealing conversation with Cass the day prior, I found myself deep in thought about how to best guide her into what was very new terrain for her. How to make this work for us, as a new couple.
I reran our conversation over and over again in my mind. Each time, I kept sight on the fact that although she may be an Alpha, she would need a lot of guidance. Introduction to the shifter world, the real shifter world and not the one she’d imagineered in her stories. Which was now even more fascinating that she’d found an outlet for what her unconscious likely had been trying to reveal to her, all along.
“Pensive today?” Jacob, the woodshop owner asked. He too was a shifter and had only been partial to opening up his private workspace since I was one too.
“Yeah, what gives it away?”
“Well, you’ve been pretty much silent since you got here. Usually, you chit-chat a bit. Not that I expect it. What’s on your mind?” He asked.
“A woman.” I said.
Jacob smiled and stopped what he was working on. “Imagine that. Found yourself a lady already, did ya?”
I nodded, “I did. A very special one at that.”
“How’s that?” He asked.
Despite only having known him for a brief time, I knew I could trust Jacob. He was the kind to instill confidence and trust in him. A man’s man who’d held his own throughout the years. He’d seen his fair share of living and was slowly opening up about what was turning out to be his very interesting, rich and long life.
“Well, have you ever felt compelled to do something that didn’t make much sense initially? Almost like pure instinct was pulling you along? Yet, you trusted it?” I asked.
He studied my face and nodded, almost solemnly. “Yes, in fact, I have. It’s hard to say why we know we need to do it and go that way, but I’ve been there. More than a few times too, over the years.”
I paused, studying the wood I was working. “Then, I won’t sound like a fool if I share that the reason I came to Boston, moved here, and left Jackson Hole, is that all of my life, my instincts told me my mate was here?”
Jacob let out a hearty laugh, the amusement rich in his voice. “And you’ve met her? You found her?”
I nodded, “Yes. And get this. She’s an Alpha.”
The teasing glint in his eye turned into an amused gleam. “Is that right? No kidding…”
“No kidding. We just figured it out.”
There hung a silence in the air while we both pondered it. I could see his wheels turning.
“The thing of it is this – she’s entirely new to the shifter world. She didn’t know… Doesn’t know anything. I’m the one introducing her to it all.” I continued sharing.
Jacob nodded understandingly, “That’s a hell of a thing. You up for the task?”
I peered at him, taking in the Fatherly tone that I appreciated. “I believe I am. Just wrestling with myself on how to go about easing her into all of it without overwhelming her.”
“Are you worried it will scare her?” He asked gingerly.
I chewed on his question. “I think she won’t be so much scared as just a bit naïve and clueless. More likely she will just need some navigating, so to speak. Being pushed in the right direction. Some guidance on shifter politics, etc.”
“Are you thinking about introducing her to your bear clan in Yellowstone?” He asked.
“I was thinking about it. Not sure how she’ll take it. She’s been a city girl her entire life. Not so sure she’s gonna be up for running off to the mountains to discover her fate. Know what I mean?”
He grunted, “You won’t know til you ask. Maybe there’s more to her than you yet understand. What’s she like?”
I
paused again, a smile coming to my face. “She’s exactly my type of woman. Full of life, very passionate about her writing career, a strong personality. But not overbearing. She doesn’t take herself too seriously and can be quite playful.”
I paused, running my hands along the edge of a piece I was smoothing and polishing, thinking about how it felt to run my hands along the contours of her body. “She’s a looker too, a curvy woman. Full of curves..." I murmured, not worried what he might think. Jacob understood my preference for plus-sized women, he had his own buxom wife he adored.
“That sounds like an Alpha all right. She sounds lovely. What’s her name?” He said, grinning again.
“Cassidy. But I call her Cass.”
“I like it, nice name.” He said, nodding appreciatively.
“I like it too.” I said softly, mostly to myself.
“Does she know yet about her tendencies?” He asked as casually as he possibly could.
“Yeah, the gods of fate have a sense of humor. She met another suitor the same day she met me. Has her confused. That’s how all this Alpha stuff surfaced and revealed itself, actually.”
I worried that perhaps I was oversharing, but something about Jacob’s demeanor confirmed for me that he got it and that he wasn’t the type to talk about or share other people’s business. He seemed to keep to himself for the most part. I’d always had very good instincts for scrutinizing others on that level. On whether they were good with secrets and information shared.
I let out a long exhale, getting back to his question. “Yes and no.”
“Ah.”
“Exactly.”
“And you’re the lucky man who gets to hold her hand while she gets this all square in her head. I don’t envy you…” He stated, matter-of-factly.
I sighed. It was true. How fate or the powers that be determined it would be me was anyone’s wonderment. Especially my own.
“Yup. Modern human culture doesn’t exactly support or condone multiple partners. And we’re just getting to know one another. It’s a lot to figure so soon. Not just for her, but me too.”
Jacob nodded sympathetically. “Take it a day at a time. We all have a tendency to overthink it, ya know?”
“Very true.”
We each sat with our own thoughts and eventually, the woodwork pulled us back into its satisfying outcome. For me, it was a way to zone out and be present but still be productive. Heavy with my thoughts, I thought about what was around the bend for Cass and I. I wanted to live up to her expectations and needs. Help her however I could. I worried that I was the right man for it. To see her through all the incredible changes that were to start entering her life once she became introduced to Shifter society, politics and way of living.
* * *
The waiter served us two large bowls of pho in the Vietnamese noodle shop we were dining in. We both set about to adding all the yummy fixings to doctor up the warm and steaming broth.
“So, have you ever traveled to the West Coast?” I asked casually.
I watched as Cass used her chopsticks to mix up the noodles with the beef flank and veggies, taking her time in adding bay leaves, sprouts and some lime juice.
“Just once. To San Francisco for my cousin’s wedding. It was a few years ago.”
“Ever been to any of the national parks?”
Focused on preparing her meal, her attention earnestly dedicated to preparing her noodles, I could tell she didn’t see what I was working my way towards in the conversation.
“Just Niagra Falls, really.” She answered, peering at me curiously.
“Do you like to camp?” I asked.
“Not much of a nature girl, ya know. Just a really bad attempt at horse camp when I was eight and a girl scout. I had a horse named Big who had a special needs sibling that followed him everywhere we went. His name was Little. Big and Little. Problem was, Little liked to bite Big’s butt, so on more than a few occasions it set Big off and he’d go into a full gallop.”
A funny look fell across her face, while she reminisced bemusedly.
“Picture a terrified eight year old, clinging to her horse for dear life, screaming her full head off while the horse trail leader managed to get my horse to slow down by galloping up beside me. Not funny at the time but entirely hilarious in retrospect.” She shared.
She paused, “To make matters worse, at the end of the week, on the last morning, I was the first person awake and when I went to the outhouse to pee, I encountered a Mama Bear that had wandered into the campsite with her two cubs. Thankfully, the campsite dogs were close-by and their barking scared away the bears when they heard me screaming, but I very much remember thinking and believing I was going to die that day! By bear or horse, that place was out to get me… Never camped again.”
I listened closely, doing my best to not bust up laughing at what must have been her terrifying predicament as a child. No wonder she’d never camped again!
“I’m sorry… that’s horrifying… but also, funny as hell!” I said, managing to keep my inside laughter down to a chuckle.
“Go ahead, laugh at me. I dare you…” She teased, pointing an accusing chopstick in my direction. “Hardy-har-har!” She winked at me, her checks red from embarrassment.
I took a bit of my pho, taking in the sight of her. She was so relaxed and at ease, making fun of herself. I loved it.
“Would you be willing to venture into the great outdoors with me? Go camping?” I asked.
She chewed thoughtfully and studied me carefully. “Maybe. What are you getting at, Abe?”
Here goes nothing!
“I was thinking that we could go camping sometime. Might be fun to get out of town for a bit. Spend some private time alone. It would give me the chance to show you my shifted form.”
“Really? You’re ready to do that. To share with me? Do you think I’m ready?”
“Yes, the sooner the better if you ask me. I think it will help trigger some of your own shifter instincts. And I want to introduce you the beauty of nature and the woods. It’s peaceful and serene.”
She took another bite and I watched her as she nodded, “Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“Yes, maybe.” She said.
“Not ready?”
We studied one another. I could tell she was wrestling with herself and her hesitation. She wrinkled up her nose at me. “Okay, but no horses or bears…”
I almost choked on my bite.
“Teasing…” She said, giggling and winking at me. “Bears are okay.”
I shook my head. She got me. Which was funny.
“About the bear thing… how will I get to see you… er, um… shift?” She said quietly, leaning in closer over the table.
I’d thought about that very thing as of a lot lately. I wanted to introduce her without scaring her and my idea was to take her camping so we could be out in the wild, out in nature.
“Well, while we’re camping. We can hike to a more remote area where there aren’t the chances of running into other campers. Then I can shift safely without drawing attention to myself.”
“Really?” She asked incredulously.
“Yes, really.”
A look of primal excitement flashed across her face. Her breathing shifted and I saw the pupils of her eyes dilate a bit.
Good god, she was aroused!
Hearing me talking about shifting had turned her on…
“You like that idea?” I teased.
“I do. I don’t know why, but it sorta excites me too… Is that normal?” She asked sweetly.
I thought about her question. “I wouldn’t worry so much about whether it’s normal or not. Just pay attention to how your shifter-self reacts and responds. Make sense?”
“Yes,” she said quietly.
“Do you want to camp with just me or would you like me to invite Jason along too?” I asked.
She jerked her pretty face up from her pho bow
l and looked me square in the eyes. “Would you be okay with that?”
“That’s why I’m asking. I meant it when I said I would work with you on this. Jason is a good guy, I like him. If it will make you happy to enjoy the both of us…”
“Shhhhhhhh…” she said, looking around us nervously, then giggling. “You’re full of surprises tonight, Abe.”
I smiled. It mattered to me that she knew I wouldn’t be selfish with her company, no matter how loudly my primal nature screamed otherwise. I needed to be strong for her. And that strength included being able to share her with another man, another lover if that was what she desired. What she needed.
“I eventually want to take you to visit my home territory. In Yellowstone and Jackson Hole. Where my bear clan is. I’m thinking I need to reintroduce you to nature slowly. Do some camping so you’re familiar with a more rustic environment. Get you out in the woods. What do you think?”
She was nodding thoughtfully, her eyes lighting up. “Considering that I’ve written a lot about paranormal beings who can shift into various animals, one would think that I’d already done a lot of hand’s on research, so to speak. I guess now is as good a time as any. I feel safe with you and because of that, I think I can give this camping thing another whirl.”
“Good girl. You’ll enjoy it more, I promise. There’s something to be said about spending time in the great outdoors, away from the busy pace of city-life. It’s rejuvenating.”
“I sure hope so. For my sake and yours. Otherwise, I’m going to be like the worst Alpha ever…”
“Think of it as something new to experience. Have fun with it. Camping is one of the great American past times. Plus, the food is good. I think you’ll like my fire-pit cooking.”
“Ooooh. Do tell!”
“Well, all that smoke adds flavor to certain meats and it adds to the taste. I’ve got plenty of practice, so you’re in for a treat.”
She nodded, a big smile on her face. “Okay, let’s do it.”
“I’m glad. You’ll be glad too.”
“So, how do you plan to approach Jason?”
I finished chewing, contemplating my approach as well. “Well, I was thinking I’d ask him over a beer. I have no idea how I’m going to broach the subject, to be honest. It’s not like I do this sort of thing all the time…”
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