Every day, our eulogies are being written. When they finally are presented, we obviously will be in no physical shape to offer a rebuttal. Today— right now—begin working toward a reputation for graciousness. Only you can shape the content of your forthcoming eulogy.
Every day, our eulogies are being written.
Businesses, too, have reputations. Many companies are known for their values, customer and employee relations, innovative spirit, and philanthropic endeavors. The recent downfalls of Enron, Tyco, WorldCom, and other such notables have reminded us that deception, greed, and sundry indecencies also are present in the misty corporate world.
I once had the pleasure to be in the presence of the Dalai Lama. He made a meaningful observation: “Accumulation of wealth for the sake of wealth alone is self-defeating. Only in seeing one’s work as a calling, a means to serve a higher purpose, can we find true fulfillment.”
On another occasion, he said: “Relate to others with warmth, human affection, honesty, and compassion.” Thoughtful advice.
Most companies and individuals seek success and respect. To reach these goals requires a sense of compassion for others and a desire to make others happy. Happiness is so meaningful to our lives. It often comes to us when we try to make others happy. Graciousness is catching.
In his book, There Is No Such Thing as Business Ethics, John Maxwell maintains that in today’s marketplace, 70 percent of the people who leave their jobs do so because they do not feel valued. That’s an indictment of how shabbily many executives and directors treat employees. Everyone wants to be valued, to know that they count. People need to be appreciated, trusted, and respected in every segment of their lives.
Maxwell holds that only one rule is necessary in governing ethical decision making: the Golden Rule. Treating competitors, the community, employees, and fellow humans with the same courtesies we would like shown to us works for me.
There is a practical side to decent behavior, too. Customers, employers, and suppliers are people who understand and appreciate civility and graciousness. They normally react in kind, and that can be good for profits. Bottom lines would be better served if we put this philosophy into practice.
How would I like to be treated in this situation? That’s all you need to ask yourself in most instances.
The Golden Rule is a guideline of life in every culture I know. Many people are familiar with the “do unto others” admonition of the New Testament. It may surprise you to know how similarly the world’s religions view this concept.
Confucianism states: “Do not do to others what you would not like yourself.” Zoroastrians are advised that “if you do not wish to be mistreated by others, do not mistreat anyone yourself.” Muslims are taught no one is a true believer “until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.” Hinduism warns never to behave “towards others in a way which is disagreeable to oneself.” The Torah says: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah; all the rest is commentary. Go and learn it.”
There are other ways to look at the Golden Rule. My late oil-baron friend, Armand Hammer, was a controversial world figure for most of the 20th century because of his close relationship with the Soviet Union. He believed we could more effectively deal with Communist nations through trade rather than by rattling sabers.
He and I traveled together to the old Soviet Union several times. His stories are legendary—some even true. Nevertheless, during our initial meeting in his Beverly Hills headquarters, I noticed the sign on the wall behind his desk: “The Golden Rule: He who controls the gold, makes the rules.”
That is not my approach.
We all know people who we love to be around. They provide us with inspiration and joy. My friend Mark Rose is one of those people. I have never heard him say a negative word about another person. Forever smiling and positive, he never talks about himself. Others are the center of his focus. As a result, he is at peace with himself.
Gracious people make a real difference in our lives. Unfortunately, so do people who embody self-pity, arrogance, and self-importance. They don’t listen. Most are talking so rapidly about themselves, they seldom learn anything new.
I have discovered in my dealings with the U.S. Congress that good listeners are rare. Elected officials live in a Beltway bubble where they are caught up in their own sense of importance. They communicate in babble-speak. It is that kind of atmosphere that has led to the contentious and bitter relations between Republicans and Democrats.
I hold in high esteem those peacemakers and statesmen who maintain a sense of humility, kindness, and graciousness. A number of such noble souls still reside on Capitol Hill, but I fear they are becoming an endangered species. Thankfully, there are signs that some alarmed politicians are realizing this and are attempting to forge a new, more civilized and respectful political atmosphere that would better serve our nation’s interest.
In 2003, Parents magazine conducted a survey on the qualities that parents most wanted to instill in their offspring. The resounding winners were good manners and religious faith. And by manners, these parents reported they meant behavior involving other people, respecting others, and being considerate.
It is not much of a surprise that, of all vocations, the most decent and gracious people are found in religious settings. The now deceased heads of two religions—LDS Church President Gordon B. Hinckley and Pope John Paul II—immediately stand out for me.
In the early 1990s, I met the late John Paul II at the Vatican in a meeting arranged by Roger Cardinal Mahony of Los Angeles. (At the time, I, a tithe-paying, devout Mormon, was the second biggest donor to the Catholic charities in the Diocese of Salt Lake City.) The pope took my hand and thanked me for my help to the needy. “I have never met a Mormon before,” he said. “I want to compliment you on all you do to help others.”
I found myself momentarily speechless, not to mention a bit teary, but I managed to respond: “I have never met Your Holiness before, either, and wish to convey my love to you in the same manner.” He knows so well what kindness to others brings. He is one of my heroes.
My own church leader, President Gordon Hinckley, who was a close friend for more than three decades, too, was a wise leader with a remarkable sense of graciousness. He began nearly every personal conversation with a compliment. I can understand why he, too, is so beloved. He has been my role model, as has his successor, Thomas S. Monson, another close friend, who was sustained as president and prophet in 2008.
While I learned a basic value system from those closest to me as a child, my church has provided me with a continuous source of renewal of those principles. When attempting to play life’s games by the rules, it helps not to compartmentalize family, faith, and career.
When attempting to play life’s games by the rules, it helps not to compartmentalize family, faith, and career.
No one lives or dies unto himself. In his day, Andrew Carnegie made 38 other men millionaires. That sort of financial fallout has continued down to the present day with the successes of large businesses, including my own, enriching others. Conversely, when businesses go broke, they tend to drag down others with them. Employees lose jobs, suppliers lose business, and creditors lose money.
Each of us has a stake in the accomplishments and failures of those around us; each of us holds an interest in the deeds of others. When one person beautifies a neighborhood, the entire community is enhanced. When a CEO trips, stakeholders stumble. Like the tide that raises all ships, no one can lift others without first being made better himself.
Each of us has a stake in the accomplishments and failures of those around us; each of us holds an interest in the deeds of others.
I have always treasured the handwritten notes and personal calls that have come during times of emotional or physical stress. Somehow, such expressions seem more personal and meaningful than an e-mail.
Captains of industry, successful CEOs and managers, political leaders of depth, rel
igious hierarchy, and effective parents take advantage of personal communication when expressing support or appreciation—and they usually don’t wait for a crisis situation.
Our company has more than a hundred manufacturing, distribution, and sales offices around the globe. I love to visit our facilities, even though I don’t know how to operate the equipment and don’t understand the chemical formulas for our products (although I am still a pretty good salesperson). I leave that to the experts. What I embrace are the people.
Employee relations are at the center of successful businesses. Labor develops a bad attitude toward management when executives spend more time at the country club than in the manufacturing plants. Top officials of companies big and small must find opportunities to go from employee to employee, thanking each one and acknowledging individual contributions.
Research suggests a link between the lack of civility and violence. Nearly two million acts of violence on some level occur in the American work place annually, primarily by people who believe management or colleagues slighted them.
Leaders must instill in others a sense of entitlement, appreciation, and loyalty. If one does this successfully, others are lifted to greater achievements. Let me assure you, watching dreams unfold is one of the great joys of leadership.
…watching dreams unfold is one of the great joys of leadership.
I identify with the words of Thomas Jefferson when, in the Declaration of Independence, he wrote: “In the support of this Declaration, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.” It was clear to Jefferson that every man and woman shared in the successes of others. For Jefferson, mutual support was essential.
On many occasions, I have recited from John Donne’s poem, “No Man Is an Island.” It brings hope and joy into my life. Indulge me two verses:
No man is an island,
No man stands alone;
Each man’s joy is joy to me,
Each man’s grief is my own.
We need one another,
So I will defend
Each man as my brother,
Each man as my friend.
If we could but express these remarkable words to one another in our homes, in our places of worship, in our businesses, and in our associations, peace would abide in our souls, and the world would indeed be a better place.
NONE OF US IS AS SMART AS ALL OF US.
—JAPANESE PROVERB
GIVE ME A CHILD FOR THE FIRST SEVEN
YEARS, AND YOU MAY DO WHAT YOU LIKE
WITH HIM AFTERWARD.
—A JESUIT MAXIM
Chapter Ten
Your Name Is On the Door
Operate businesses and organizations
as if they’re family owned.
My brother Blaine and I started the family business in 1970. Huntsman remained a family-owned and-operated company for 35 years, eventually becoming the largest in America. Early in 2005, we decided to go public as a way to reduce debt with new capital and increase Karen’s and my philanthropy. My family continued to run Huntsman Corp. in a similar manner as we did when the corporation was privately owned because it still carried our name.
Although we are going down this new road with the best of intentions, it saddens me that today’s ownership complexities or a need for additional capital eventually forces many family businesses to face the same decision. This does not mean family enterprises will cease to exist or that change is necessarily a bad thing, but it does cause me some anxiety.
The family is the basic societal unit. As such, it is the foundation for society’s prosperity, order, happiness, and values. Business is much the same as families. These same aspirations should be found in business “families” as well. This can be more easily accomplished when the business is family-owned, but the wise CEO of a publicly traded company will operate as if his or her last name is on the company marquee.
Some families are large, others are small, and some are untraditional, but it is in this setting that one’s greatest education is experienced, where fundamental, life-long values are learned. It is not hard to understand why the home is my focus and that key decisions in Huntsman Corp. have been made within the family circle.
Wealth and power are thought by many to be a formula for family divisiveness. This is not necessarily the case. I saw my grandparents’ six children squabble over a $30,000 estate. Riches have little to do with family cohesiveness.
Each of our children, in his or her own way, has experienced the heartaches, pain, and challenges of our business. They have been astute students of life. They have known from the start there is no such thing as a Midas touch. The realities of this world are hard work, preparation, negotiation, determination, commitment, honesty, and charity.
Where appropriate, the workplace should be an extension of the family, a place where an appreciation for decency, respect, and basic values are encouraged, and examples of proper moral behavior are the rule.
Jay Kenfield Morley’s description of life sums up how critical it is for the workplace to be an extension of the home: “The recipe for happiness is to have just enough money to pay the monthly bills you acquire, a little surplus to give you confidence, a little too much work each day, enthusiasm for your work, a substantial share of good health, a couple of real friends, and a wife and children to share life’s beauty with you.”
My father was a rural schoolteacher in Idaho. Our first two-room home required a 40-foot walk to the outhouse, an unpleasant undertaking in the winter, but typical for a rural family in the late 1930s.
Eventually, my dad went off to World War II like so many other fathers of this era. When he returned, we built a small home in Pocatello, Idaho. A few years later, we moved to California so he could get his doctorate at Stanford. Our residence for three years was in a campus Quonset hut that was divided into 16 “apartments,” each approximately 600 square feet in size and separated by walls made of heavy cardboard. With my parents and two brothers, the quarters were cramped and embarrassing for a teenager, but it was home.
In 1959, I married my sweetheart, Karen, and we subsequently had three daughters and six sons. Our home has been a place of comfort, love, and tranquility. I know not all homes in the world are like this. I have observed in my travels many difficult and trying domestic situations where housing is pitifully inadequate. Families live in boxes, tin shacks, tents, or other makeshift arrangements. It is emotionally difficult to visit such places.
I emphasize in employee meetings that families come first. I have insisted our company workplaces attempt to be an extension of a supportive home. Too many put career advancement and accumulation of wealth ahead of family, rationalizing they will get around to the family next year. Next year never comes. And soon it is too late—for the family, for fulfillment, and for success.
During a recent visit to one of our plant sites in Scarlino, Italy, I underscored to employees that their foremost concern in life was not their jobs, but their families. They listened intently through an interpreter and appeared pleased by their employer’s positive expressions about the family. When I finished, they stood and applauded. A cynic might say they did so to impress the boss, that they would have cheered if I had read them Shakespeare. I don’t think so. Those employees appeared deeply touched as I went from one to another, giving small hugs or handshakes.
When I recently gave a similar speech in Malaysia, all 800 employees clapped and seemed pleased. They love their children just as much as I love mine. Their families are as high a priority to them as mine is to me. They understood precisely what I was saying and why I was saying it.
The same is true in China, South Africa, Armenia, Australia, or in any of the many countries where Huntsman has manufacturing or distribution operations. It makes no difference where one lives. Everyone wants to feel noticed, respected, and valued. Unfortunately, large corporations tend to be run by the book. They frequently are perceived by employees to be sterile and uncaring. Running a business
as if you own it prompts a more personal touch.
It makes no difference where one lives. Everyone wants to feel noticed, respected, and valued.
Employees want to be assured the owner or CEO truly cares about them. How can one convince employees they are valued if their families are omitted from that concern?
Most employees like to hear directly from the owner or head of a company. The first thing I underscore is their preeminent responsibility to families and loved ones. If there is success within the walls of our homes, we will do better in our vocational pursuits. We work safer in a happier work environment. If we are at peace in our personal lives, we are more successful and find more satisfaction in our work.
Karen and I started including our children in the discussion of the family business as early as elementary school, but we insisted on two rules:
Rule 1: In a family business, check your ego at the door. There is no room for self-aggrandizement or self-promotion. In a family business, everyone knows the abilities and shortcomings of the others.
There are no secrets. The success of family businesses relies on trust, respect, and love.
Rule 2: Be a cheerleader for each other. Seek good fortune for the other person first. Most family businesses end up in disarray because of the selfish interests of one or another sibling.
Effective communication is essential. Parents must talk to each other openly and honestly about the business—and especially about estate planning. Parents must educate their children in those areas. Secret wills and selective entitlements upon a death almost always result in family feuds or lawsuits.
I assured my children, even after most of them started working in the family business, that I am a parent first and chairman of the board second. Family enterprises careen off the road when parents place business ahead of parental nurturing.
Winners Never Cheat: Even in Difficult Times, New and Expanded Edition Page 9
