“You guys were great,” I said. “Ever kept her body so straight—it’s beautiful to watch.”
Khloe smiled. “Thanks.”
I pushed Riley out of my mind, not wanting her to make me nervous, and asked Whisper to move sideways, keeping her body straight and parallel to the long side of the arena. She responded, moving easily. We did the exercise a few times in both directions, and when we started leg yielding along the wall, sweat ran down my back. I was concentrating so hard.
I started Whisper at a walk and after a few strides asked her to keep moving forward but also sideways, ever so slightly, at the same time.
“Get her to flex her head a little the other way,” Khloe said. “She’s looking in the direction she’s going.”
I chewed my lip, starting over. Whisper moved correctly for a few strides before shifting her head in the wrong direction, throwing off our movement. I tried to keep Whisper moving forward and correct her at the same time.
“Her head’s off again,” Khloe called.
I nodded and, after another try, got Whisper to perform the movement correctly. It took every bit of training I had to get her through the movements. We finished and I let out a giant breath, turning Whisper back to face Khloe.
“You’re doing so well with her,” Khloe said. “She’s going to be a great dressage horse.”
“Girls, come on.” Riley hopped off the fence and walked between our horses, stopping. “Aren’t you best friends?”
“Yeah,” Khloe and I said at the same time.
I glared down at Riley. What was she doing? Riley reached up to pet Whisper’s cheek and I almost wanted to swat her hand away.
“Whoa, so defensive,” Riley said, crossing her arms and leaving Whisper alone. “I’m just trying to help in this situation.”
“What are you talking about?” Khloe asked. She didn’t even try to keep the annoyance out of her voice.
“Khloe, it’s natural that you don’t want to see it. Or acknowledge what’s going on. Don’t feel bad. Maybe you genuinely don’t realize what’s happening.”
I shook my head, dropping the knotted reins around Whisper’s neck. “What, exactly, is ‘going on’?”
Riley made a you poor thing smile. “This ‘practice’ session seemed more harmful than helpful. You both rode against each other the entire time. Arena battle, much? You kept checking to see who was doing what and who performed what move better.” Riley laughed. “No wonder your horses were confused.”
Khloe and I were silent. Birds twittered in trees lining the woods. They sounded as if they had bullhorns.
Riley stroked Ever’s black muzzle. “Khloe, you have to deal with the fact that even though Lauren is on the intermediate team, she’s an advanced rider. You saw it for yourself on the DVD.”
My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Khloe’s entire body went rigid.
“And Lauren.” Riley looked up at me. “At least I’m not so jealous and intimidated by my roommate’s riding that I’m trying to outdo her in everything.”
I wanted to shout at Riley that she was wrong, but I couldn’t speak.
Riley shifted her gaze between both of us. “The whole time you both have been focused on each other, I’ve been working on my riding and classes. That’s why I’m doing better than both of you. In everything.”
What Riley said sped through my brain. It wasn’t true about Khloe. I wasn’t jealous of her—not like the way Riley made it sound. But when I thought about our last lesson, Riley had been on. Her practices had been better than anyone’s in our class. Even Lexa’s.
“You are so wrong,” Khloe snapped. Her cheeks flushed an angry red. “I can’t believe you’re standing there saying that.”
Ever’s and Whisper’s ears swiveled at Khloe’s tone.
“Aren’t you embarrassed?” I asked Riley, jumping in. “You have no idea what’s going on with Khloe and me, but you just stated all of these ‘facts’ that aren’t even close to the truth.”
Riley didn’t move. “Well, if you’re both so in agreement that I’m wrong, then I must be mistaken. I stepped in as a concerned teammate, but if neither of you see any validity in anything I said, I’ll leave you to practice.”
“Leaving’s a good idea,” Khloe said. She seemed seconds away from dismounting and speaking to Riley at a face-to-face level.
With an airy wave, Riley exited the arena. I played with Whisper’s mane and heard Khloe taking deep breaths. Finally we looked at each other.
“Did that really just happen?” I asked.
“I wish I could say no. I really, really don’t like that girl,” Khloe said. “She’s trying to shake things up before the show. Too bad we are friends and she doesn’t have any pull over us like she thinks.”
“You’re right. We’re not jealous or insecure about our riding with each other. My past is that—my past. I came to you for help. Today, we’re helping each other. Would we ride together if we didn’t want the other to do better?”
Khloe shook her head, then smiled. “The only thing Riley got right was that we’re best friends.”
27
KHLOE-LESS
NEXT WEEK STARTED WITHOUT INCIDENT. Khloe and I fell into a comfortable routine of school, riding, and making time for fun at the end of the night. Drew and I texted a few times every day and each time I saw him, I got embarrassingly giggly. I kept hoping that would stop soon. Like, yesterday.
I walked back from Hawthorne after glee practice, humming a song we’d just run through. It was finally midweek, and all I could think about was the upcoming weekend. This weekend was definitely not going to be like the last. After The Riley Encounter, Khloe and I had kept practicing in the arena. There hadn’t been an ounce of weirdness while we prepped for our trail classes. The good vibes between us had carried through the rest of the weekend. We’d met up with Lexa, Cole, and Jill for a movie.
When I’d last seen Khloe at lunch, we’d had a major gossip fest with Lexa and Jill about Riley’s trip to New York City this weekend. Clare and Riley had been absent from lunch. Riley had probably dragged Clare off to run lines.
I reached my room and went straight for my bed, dropping my bag, kicking off my shoes, and stretching out. Maybe Khloe would be up for a common-room study session tonight. I typed a BBM and sent it to her.
Lauren:
KK, want 2 study in cm rom 2nite? Lots of snacks.
I’d changed and spread out my homework when my phone beeped.
Khloe:
SO sry!! 4got 2 tell u I’m going 2 sleepover 2nite. Be back in the am b4 class!
I stared at the message. Where was Khloe sleeping over? It definitely wasn’t at Clare’s, because Riley was there. Lexa and Jill’s? Hurt settled over me. Khloe and Lexa had a friendship separate from mine with them and as a group. I was completely fine with that. But when was Khloe going to tell me that she wasn’t coming to our room tonight? Before she went to sleep?
I wrote back.
Lauren:
OK. C u 2mrw.
I turned off my phone.
28
THIS ENDS
NOW
THE NEXT MORNING, I WAS UP AND OUT OF my room insanely early. I’d set my alarm so I’d be gone before Khloe got back. I’d been so confused about last night that I’d left some homework to do this morning and had watched mindless TV most of the night. I’d thought about blogging or even updating my neglected Chatter, but I hadn’t been in the mood. I knew it was childish to duck Khloe, but I didn’t care.
I turned on my phone as I walked toward the library. There were only a few junk e-mails—nothing from Khloe.
Inside the deserted library, I found a desk in the back and got to work. Riley’s words from Saturday started playing in my head. “So jealous and intimidated . . .” I jammed ear buds in my ears. Riley wasn’t going to be right—I wasn’t about to focus on Khloe and let riding and school fall apart. Khloe would find me and explain about the sleepover. There had to be a rational explanation for
last night.
But what if there’s not? What if Khloe didn’t want to sleep in our room last night?
Ugh. I cranked my music louder, inching up the volume until all of the questions floating around my brain unanswered were drowned out by instruments and melodic voices.
By the time I got to the stable, I still hadn’t had The Conversation with Khloe yet. I’d seen her in English, where she’d apologized for missing me this morning. After that, nothing. She never told me where she’d been, nor did she apologize again.
Not that I’d given her much time—I’d walked into English just seconds before Mr. Davidson entered the classroom. The same went for every other class Khloe and I shared.
I did BBM Khloe before lunch, telling her not to wait for me, because I was grabbing a sandwich and finishing homework outside of the cafeteria.
Khloe had written back a sad face and said she’d see me at the stable. She hadn’t asked where I was or if I wanted company. For the entire lunch period, I’d sat outside on the science building steps, munching on a turkey and rye sandwich. Lexa had texted me, saying she was sorry I was stuck with homework during lunch. I wrote back and told her I’d catch her at the stable.
I walked into the tack room, looking for Lexa. I had to ask her about last night. If Khloe was keeping something from me. If anyone would know, Lexa would. Then I’d have something to go on when I did talk to Khloe.
“. . . but what about during class?” A girl’s voice—Khloe’s voice—came from the tack room. I stopped just as my hand reached to push open the door.
“What do you mean?” This voice was deeper. Drew.
“Mr. Conner doesn’t treat Lauren any different, does he?” Khloe asked. “With her background, I—”
She wasn’t even trying to be quiet. Anyone could hear Khloe questioning my position in class. I spun away from the door, tears making it hard to see as I ran down the aisle. Everything I’d worried about was true. Riley had been right. Khloe thought I got some sort of special treatment during lessons because of my past competition experience.
“Lauren! Geez!”
I looked up, a step away from smacking into Lexa.
“Why are you running? Mr. Conner’s going to—” She stopped, her brown eyes going over my face. “Lauren. What’s wrong? Omigosh. Why are you upset?” Lexa’s voice was so gentle and comforting.
“Khloe!” Her name burst out of my mouth. “I know she slept over with you last night because she probably doesn’t want to be my roommate anymore. The DVD ruined everything! Things are weird between Khloe and me.”
“Laur—”
“All of these little things have been happening and I kept brushing them off,” I said, interrupting Lexa. I swiped my hand across my nose. “But Khloe really does have a problem with me. She’s in the tack room right now talking to Drew and—”
“Stop!” Lexa shouted. The horse in the stall next to us jerked his chestnut head back, snorting.
I froze. I’d never heard Lexa yell. Lexa inhaled through her nose, looking straight at me.
“Go to the hayloft,” Lexa said. “Stay there. I’ll tell Mr. Conner you weren’t feeling well.”
“I can’t miss my lesson,” I said.
Lexa put her hands on her hips. “Do you really think you’ll have a good session right now, the way you feel?”
I shook my head. She was right. I’d mess up Whisper if I tried to get through practice like this.
“Go. Right now. I’ll be up in a minute.”
I didn’t argue again. I walked down the aisle, checked to make sure Mr. Conner wasn’t around, and pulled down the wooden ladder. I’d never used it, but the loft seemed like a good place to hide.
I sat down on a wooden pallet, resting my back against a hay bale. There were stacked high, and it felt like a fort. I dropped my head into my hands. You’ll talk to Lexa and figure out what to do, I said to myself. Lexa will be here in a minute and you’ll find a way to fix this.
Boots shuffled against the ladder. Lexa walked around a stack of hay bales, stopping in front of me. Her posture had relaxed and her gaze was calm.
“Mr. Conner was cool about your lesson,” Lexa said. “And Khloe’s.”
“Khloe’s?”
Khloe emerged from the same spot where Lexa had appeared. I’d been so focused on Lexa, I hadn’t even heard Khloe.
“Sit,” Lexa told her. Her tone was firm, but caring at the same time.
Khloe looked at her, shaking her head, but sat across from me on another pallet. We gazed at each other. Khloe looked confused.
“What’s going on?” I asked. “Lex, what are you doing?”
“Clueless here, too,” Khloe said. “Why am I up here? And Lauren, you look like you were crying!”
I didn’t respond.
Lexa walked over, standing between Khloe and me. “You guys are my closest friends. I love you to death. Really, I do. You’re both good people and your friendship is too important to me and to both of you to be damaged or ruined.”
Khloe’s expression was blank. “Ruined? By what?”
“By you sleeping at Lexa’s to get out of our room and by you asking Drew if I got special treatment during lessons!” I said. “How could you do that?”
Khloe’s head jerked back, her cheeks flushing. “What? I did not—”
Lexa held up a hand, stopping her. “That is why you’re both up here. Some communication needs to happen. Whatever you guys have going on needs to be worked out. Clearly, neither of you are talking to each other about the biggest problem here—jealousy.”
Khloe and I looked at each other. We didn’t say a word.
“You guys are going to be up here a long time, then,” Lexa said. “Don’t either of you tell me you’re not jealous in some way of the other. Or have wondered if the other person feels that way about you. You’ve both come to me and said the same thing.”
I sagged against the hay bale. Khloe looked like the air had been knocked out of her.
“I’m not saying either of you has talked about the other in a malicious way, because you haven’t,” Lexa said, softly. “I am saying you’ve worried about what the other person is thinking, and you’ve repeatedly come to me to see if I know. We’re all friends. Coming to me instead of talking to each other stops now.”
Lexa stepped back. “I’m going to my lesson. Don’t come down until you’ve talked. Please.”
She turned and disappeared behind the bales of hay. The sound of her boots on the ladder rungs lessened with each step down she took, and soon she was gone.
Khloe and I were alone. I played with a piece of hay, twisting and breaking it into tiny pieces. I glanced up at Khloe, and she was doing the same. This couldn’t be it. My friendship with Khloe couldn’t be over before it even had a good chance to get started.
Had Khloe been acting the whole time? If so, what did that mean for our friendship? I couldn’t believe we were sitting across from each other in the loft. We’d had such a communication breakdown that Lexa had needed to corral us so we’d talk.
But I didn’t know how we were going to move past the Drew thing. She’d talked to the boy I liked about me. I couldn’t sit here all afternoon and not say anything. No way was I leaving, either. Lexa was right—this cycle had to stop.
I looked at Khloe. Her eyes met mine. They were fiery—like the day Riley had confronted us in the arena. She sat up straighter, dropping a twisted piece of hay.
“Guess we have some things to talk about,” Khloe said, her voice flat.
“Yeah, looks like we do.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Twenty-five-year-old Jess Burkhart (a.k.a. Jess Ashley) writes from Brooklyn, New York. She’s obsessed with sparkly things, lip gloss, and TV. She loves hanging with her bestie, watching too much TV, and shopping for all things Hello Kitty. Learn more about Jess at www.jessicaburkhart.com. Find everything Canterwood Crest at www.canterwoodcrest.com.
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