by Rachel Shane
“…Told you,” Harrison said, firm but pleading. “Not for another two weeks.”
There was a pause while he listened to the other speaker.
“Well, I can’t get any more money until the”—he lowered his voice to a volume I might not be able to hear if I didn’t have the sound kicked up high enough—”new pledges get initiated and pay dues.”
An anvil crashed through my torso and ripped my guts to shreds.
Harrison listened, then gritted his teeth. “Maybe you should have thought of that before you upped the ante on my deal.”
He clicked the phone off in anger and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck.”
The video shut off just as Harrison turned to the doorway.
My breathing came in ragged gulps. I spun around to find Matt standing next to me, and I screamed, jumping back a step. He wore an anguished expression.
“What—” My voice came out scratchy so I swallowed, handing him back the phone. “What was the part I missed? Before the video started.”
Matt shoved his hands in his pockets. “Harrison accused the guy of black mail. Said he paid him everything for the original deal.” He took in a shuddering breath. “Threatened to expose his betrayal to the football team unless he stopped harassing him. Harrison listened for a while and said, ‘fine, but that’s it,’ so I think he must have agreed to a new price. That’s when I started filming.”
I slapped a cold hand over my mouth. Harrison was paying his sources, which was illegal in itself. But it seemed like he was using Out House funds to foot the bill. That was grounds to get the fraternity shut down.
Bile rose to my throat. This whole time I’d been searching for dirt on my enemy…and instead I found incriminating info on the guy I was falling in love with.
Matt sucked in a deep breath. “Do you need me to send this to you? Or…?” He glanced up at me from beneath his eyelids, hope in his expression. Or are you not a horrible person?
A choice lay before me. Betrayal or denial. I couldn’t live with either one.
I STOMPED RIGHT BACK upstairs after leaving Matt in my wake and burst open the door to Harrison’s room. My hands shook as white hot rage shot through me. It took all my will power not to sink my fists into walls or flesh. He let out a relieved breath when his eyes landed on mine, then immediately furrowed his brow in concern at whatever he saw in my expression.
“You should be proud,” I spit the words at him.
He sat up on his bed and guarded me warily. “Why?”
“I make a great Investigative Journalist, too.” I crossed my arms over my low cut dress, ignoring the pops of memories that flashed in my mind of the way Harrison had run his tongue over every inch of my body hidden beneath this dress and how amazing it had felt. Suddenly, the anger I felt dissipated, replaced my something worse: sadness. A sting filled my throat as my hands unclenched.
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “And what did you find out?”
“You’re paying off sources illegally. You’re being black mailed because of it.” I closed my eyes in anguish. “And you’re using Out House funds to do it.”
He buried his head in his hands. “Are you going to say anything?”
“Of course not,” I whispered. The fact that he thought I might was an ice pick stabbed into my chest, melting freezing water through my veins.
He glanced up at me from beneath his eyelashes. “So what then? You’re judging me for this?”
“I told you everything.” My voice cracked. “And you told me nothing.”
I stormed out of there before I fell under his spell once again. The lengths he went to in order to get what he wanted didn’t bother me. We were one and the same, after all, and I would never hold that against him. But I had given him ample opportunities to tell me the truth and the words always stayed cooped up behind his tongue. I wasn’t judging him. But the problem was he was still judging me. Because I hadn’t passed his test.
He didn’t feel like he could trust me with this.
I ignored the whistles and cat calls from frat guys carrying steaming cups of coffee as they passed me on their way back to their house. The biting wind stung my face, but I refused to cry again. I refused to get angry.
I was just numb.
When I got home, Erin popped up from the couch with a big smile on her face. “So, did I win?” She took one look at me and her smile deflated. “Oh my God, what happened?”
“I finally came to my senses.”
I considered quitting the paper entirely, avoiding Harrison, going back to the way things were before he invaded my life and crawled under my skin. But that would be letting him win. And he’d had the upper hand far too many times.
So I squeezed into my tightest pants, forced my boobs into a cleavage-inducing top, and strutted into The Daily Snowflake building with the most confident swagger I could muster. I even showed up a half hour early for the Monday meeting, just so I could be there when Harrison fumbled into our stupid shared office and found me, unaffected.
But when I pushed open the door to our office, it was me who lost the battle once again. Where there had once been two desks squeezed to opposite walls, now only one remained. Every trace of him was gone, including the always lingering scent of his cologne and the carpet marks from where his desk used to sit. He’d erased himself out of my life with a vacuum and some air freshener. My chest cinched tight, but I marched inside as if this news was delightful, even if the only person there to witness this foolery was myself.
I sank into my chair and perched my fingers over the keyboard. The whirr of the heat I never used to hear over Harrison’s typing sounded dissonant to my ears. I longed for the annoying creak of his chair.
I stood up. I’d come early to be on the offense, but huddling in a depressing room was the equivalent of giving up.
So I stalked to the conference room and prepared to wait for the meeting like a land mine about to blow. My feet stopped dead when I pushed open the door. I’d lost once again. Harrison was already there, staking out his claim, laptop propped in front of him. He glanced up at me with bloodshot eyes. Purple crescents hung below his lids. I’d never seen him look so…defeated. The hard curl of my shoulders sagged before I remembered I shouldn’t feel bad for him.
His mouth parted in surprise, then flatlined on his face. His eyes narrowed. “Didn’t think you’d have the guts to show your face here.” He sucked in a laugh. “But of course you would, you wanted to gloat.”
His words were so angry, laced with the most lethal of venoms, and each one pierced me to the core. I wobbled, already balancing precariously over my emotions, but though his anger made sense, the meaning of his words didn’t. My arms crossed over my heart, a shield, a warning. “Gloat? What are you talking about?”
He scoffed. “Don’t play dumb, it’s extremely unattractive.” His voice lowered a few notches in volume. “The one thing I always liked best about you was how smart you are.” He shook his head in shame. “Smart enough to play me this entire time, it seems.”
I stifled a twinge in my chest at his new words, meant to be accusations, sure, but I latched onto them like a life raft. He thinks I’m smart. Everyone else always thought I was nothing but pretty. “I wasn’t playing you,” I said, sounding defensive.
“Right, I forgot.” His voice was venomous. “You’re the saint and I’m the sinner. You get forgiveness and I get my life ruined. Totally fair. Not hypocritical at all.”
My tongue was thick and heavy in my mouth, like stone. “You don’t get to be mad when you were the one who didn’t trust me.”
His eyes flared at me, big and wide. “Congratulations! You proved me right.” He shoved an iPad across the table toward me, skidding it so fast it slammed into my stomach. “Come on, I know you’re itching to read it. I’ll even make anguished cries to heighten the experience.”
He leaned back and waited, face gravely serious. My fingers trembled as I lifted the cold metal device and scanned the screen. It was a wo
rk-in-progress version of tomorrow’s paper and the front page headline announced a story so terrifying, I almost dropped the device. Out House President Uses Fraternity Funds in Payoff Scandal.
I gasped, clamping a hand over my mouth. “How did this get out?”
He glared at me. “One guess.”
“Wait.” I stumbled backward a step. “You—you think I leaked this info?”
“You were the only one who knew!” He pounded his fist against the table, making his laptop jump. The tables were turned. He was the angry one while I was in control.
“Matt knew,” I cried, but even as the words left my mouth, I knew he wasn’t the scapegoat here. He hadn’t wanted to turn Harrison in or get Out House in trouble. He was on their side.
I wasn’t.
But of course, I hadn’t been the one to leak anything.
I scrambled for any type of straw I could find. “What about your source? Maybe that person leaked the news?”
He sucked in a deep, rattling breath. “He’s freaked out. Backed down entirely from the blackmail. Wasn’t him.”
The underlying backbeat of his refrain echoed behind his words. It was you.
“Well, who wrote the article then?” I glanced at the byline. Someone named Charlie Culpepper. I vaguely remembered he was an underclassman who got all the crap stories no one else wanted.
“The video and details came from an anonymous tip. Genevieve assigned Charlie the story because she couldn’t very well assign it to me,” he said. I opened my mouth to protest but he shot me down with the hard set of his lips. “And don’t even suggest begging her to stop it. She’s hell bent on printing it.”
I swallowed past the thick lump in my throat. “Oh. Um…what about…”
“What about you just admit that you used me this entire time? Got close to me, made me fall in love with you, and then fucking betrayed me?” He stood up abruptly, voice cracking on the last word. He scrambled out of his chair, knocking into the other swivel chairs in a desperate attempt to flee the room. Once he escaped into the hallway, a strangled cry rang out.
I hitched my own breath. He was in love with me.
But it didn’t matter. Because he didn’t believe me.
THE NEWS SPREAD LIKE wildfire. Rumors dropped from everyone’s lips until the wind swirled with the facts. Out House had been shut down due to Harrison’s actions. They would have to vacate their house by end of semester, leaving old Rho Sig open and vulnerable.
Each time whispers of the same story invaded my ears, I doubled over. I even staggered out of one class in the middle of a lecture just because the person next to me had the paper propped open on her legs. It all was too much. Last year it had been my house on the tips of everyone’s lips and now it was my boyfriend’s. Ex-boyfriend. Never-had-a-chance-to-become-my-boyfriend’s.
Twenty-four hours went by with no word from him. He still thought I betrayed him and that fact hurt more than anything.
I splashed water on my face to hide my red-rimmed eyes, then braced my hands on either side of the porcelain sink. A rattling breath shuddered through my lungs. I’d agreed to Mackenzie and Erin’s insistence that we call this emergency Yours meeting, but I had nothing to say.
Unfortunately, I was the only one.
I dabbed my face with a towel and trudged down the steps. Each heavy plod of my feet felt like a funeral march. The forty or so smiling faces that peered up at me almost made me crack. Everyone sat upright, bouncing on their chairs, elated. Even Corey had a spring in his step. He’d set aside his long standing grudge with Harrison once he found out I’d hooked up with him but he let his animosity return in full force. This was revenge. Out House’s downfall was everyone’s yellow brick road. And they wanted me to lead them down the path to redemption.
I plopped on the purple couch with a heaviness I hadn’t meant to convey. Air whistled from the cushions. I leaned forward, head pounding, and willed my mouth to open. Instead I just sucked in a deep breath and shook my head at the eager faces.
One by one smiles started to fall. I made sure to look into each and every eye. I hadn’t betrayed Harrison, but I was betraying them. My heart sank when I noticed a few more missing girls. Willow Mathers. Amber Reynolds, a.k.a. Matt’s girlfriend.
But I didn’t blame them. We were drowning and I was the only one still gulping for breath.
Erin finally elbowed me in the side. “Um, now would be a good time to call this meeting to order.”
She was right. A coward stayed silent. I had to man up to my actions. “I know you all want to discuss the Out House situation.” My voice cracked as my mind flashed to Harrison’s anguished face.
“No, we want to discuss the Rho Sig situation!” Kiki Gibbons snapped to her own words, her multiple silver rings glittering.
“We have to swoop in and secure our old house!” Alicia Polansky infused her words with her signature cheerleader pep. She hadn’t cheered since the football team was abolished and had to put all her excess spirit somewhere.
I shook my head. “No.”
Erin and Mackenzie both whipped their heads toward me, squinting.
I stood up on shaky legs. “Or rather, I quit.” I scrambled away from the couch. “Not the house. But the role of President.” Metal folding chairs scraped as I made my way through the center aisle to an empty chair in the back row. The one Amber usually sat in. All heads had turned in my direction so I added a final thought. “I’m not fit to lead. Not when I refuse to gain from Out House’s misfortune.”
Harrison wouldn’t be able to accuse me of that, too.
Erin and Mackenzie exchanged glances. Subtle shrugs of shoulders indicated a silent battle. You! No, you! But it was Erin who got tagged as it because she leaned forward. In an instant, she wore the cool calm composure she’d been taught in her TV host major. “I’ll do it,” she said, and my heart squeezed. I’d made a stand but an ineffective one. We’d still be seizing Harrison’s house. Rho Sigma would still be betraying him. “I’ll be your new president.”
Whispers started flying and then shouts. Questions. The same ones asked of me. Erin deflected, gave non answers, turned the questions around the audience like a good TV Host would. Finally, she sent everyone home and canceled our pledge education night. What was the point of teaching our pledges the ways of Rho Sig when we only had one potential new member left?
My friends surrounded me once the other girls cleared the basement. I stayed seated in my chair.
“You sure you don’t want to go after their house?” Erin asked, just to confirm.
Corey wore an expression of disgust. He clearly wanted to exact this very sharp form of revenge on his former, current enemy.
I shook my head. “I’d rather stay underground.”
Erin nodded. “Then underground we’ll stay.”
I pulled her into a hug and wondered why she hadn’t been president all along. She was the only one who always remained impartial.
“Honey! I’m home!”
The peppy voice resonated throughout all the walls. I bolted upright from my bed, heart beating. Three doors popped open and Erin, Mackenzie, and I poked our heads out.
“What? No greeting? No warm embrace?” Fallon shouted from downstairs.
“Oh my God! Fallon!” Mackenzie charged down the stairs and Erin and I rushed after her. The three of us pulled Fallon into a bear hug so enormous, she gasped.
“Hey, don’t break the merchandise!”
We backed away and Fallon dusted herself off. Behind her stood an oversized suitcase, her pillow and blanket folded on top. “So which one of you is going to do my laundry?” Fallon patted the suitcase. “The way I see it, you all owe me.”
My heart thudded. “Wait, you got evidence?” Not that it even mattered anymore. We’d all agreed to keep Rho Sig underground as opposed to the nasty alternative. As opposed to proving Harrison’s fears right about me by stealing his house.
But that didn’t mean we would let Layla’s version secure his house
instead. I hadn’t heard any rumors about it one way or another but my intuition—and common sense—told me it was only a matter of days. Maybe hour.
Fallon reached into her pocket and dropped a thumb drive onto the coffee table. “Your wish is my command.”
“I’ll get my laptop.” Mackenzie flew upstairs and back down in three-point-five-seconds flat. We all squeezed onto the gray living room couch as Mackenzie inserted the drive into the laptop and cued it up based on Fallon’s instructions.
“Was it awful?” Erin asked, biting her lip. “The hazing?”
Fallon shook her head. “Nah, it was pretty lame. And legit. I think they must have been onto me from the start. I kept finding the surveillance devices I planted mangled and broken. The cotton ball thing was only the first night, after that it was just getting-to-know-each-other stuff. No drinking until we puked. No blindfolding us and shoving us out of cars in the woods. No forcing us to have sex with guys of their choosing.”
My brows shot skyward.
Fallon shrugged. “Some of the pledges used to share horror stories they read online. Those were the tamest ones.”
My head pounded with this news. “So, wait, Layla was doing everything by the book?”
Fallon bit her lip. “I think that’s why she extended a bid to me. She knew I’d be trying to catch them doing something awful. So now I could testify they hadn’t. Even lobbing wet cottonballs at us didn’t violate any rules.”
My fingers skidded over my forehead, slick with sweat. Layla had enough members now to petition for Rho Sigma Delta to be recognized on campus and move into the soon to be vacant fraternity on sorority row.
Mackenzie pulled up the video file stored on Fallon’s flash drive. “Then what’s on this?”
“I laid low for a bit. Didn’t plant any more devices to make them think I’d given up. Then I slipped this one into her room the other night. It has no video since I hid it behind her bed, but the audio should be enough.” Fallon waved her hand at the screen. “I don’t know if it’s enough to get Layla in trouble but I figure if this gets out, it’ll at least make her the most hated person on campus.”
