"So, you're never coming back to Billings?" Cole asked firmly.
"I never said that. My mother's still here. And there's probably more than enough to keep me as busy here as in Helena."
"What's stopping you coming back?"
Victoria paused and shook he head. "I don't know, Cole. It's difficult to explain," she said.
"Try me," he said quickly.
Victoria looked at him, seeing that same impatience on his face, the need for an answer. "There's more to it than just work or making sure my mama's okay," she admitted.
"Like what?" Cole asked. Then he said just one word in a tone of quiet desperation. "Me?"
Victoria felt something shift inside her when she heard that last word. There was need as well as a touch of desire in the tone that caused her to glance at him again.
Victoria smiled at him. "It would be impossible for me to not think about you Cole. I've thought about you a great deal since we parted," she said.
Cole's eyes widened and he drew his chair close to her own. Victoria did not move, merely watching as he pulled closer to her.
"And I have never stopped thinking about you, Victoria," he said leaning in closer. Victoria felt no need to move away from him. He'd been so kind to her since they'd entered the cabin. There was no hint of impropriety in his closeness.
"I know you haven't," she said to him.
Victoria could feel his presence close to her. The slight dampness of his shirt created a soft scent that was a curious mixture of Cole himself and the rain from outside. It was strangely appealing.
Victoria glanced into Cole's eyes and could see the strength of his desire for an answer still burning there. The dark stubble on his chin was clearly discernible now that he was so close. Cole still hadn't laid his hand on her arm but Victoria knew it was only a matter of time before he did so.
Cole's breathing had become noticeably quicker. "I've thought about you every day for the last few years," he said breathlessly. Victoria could feel the sincerity filling his voice, see the passion and ardor in his eyes. "Every day," he said. Then he reached over and placed a hand gently on her forearm.
Victoria felt an immediate and startling jolt of sensation makes it's way throughout her body. Her breath caught and she looked questioningly at Cole. There was a roaring sound in her ears and her heart began to quicken. She was sure the color of her face had transformed in that instant. Looking at Cole her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the faintest of smiles crease the corner of his mouth. It was a smile of recognition, not one of victory. Cole seemed to know, in that instant, that Victoria still harbored feelings for him. That he had tested her and uncovered a truth her words had hidden.
But still Victoria did not try to remove his hand from her arm. His touch was strangely reassuring and comforting.
"I'm glad to know that you've been thinking of me, Cole."
"Only glad?" he asked.
Victoria sighed. "I don't know what you want me to say, Cole," she said.
"I want you to say what's in your heart, Victoria."
Victoria lowered her eyes. She felt her brows furrow. What did she feel in her heart? Dare she admit to what the small, quiet voice had been whispering in her mind for such a long time? That she had made a mistake in leaving. That her life in Helena, while it had given her an independence she had once craved, now seemed somewhat hollow and empty. That she missed so much of the life she'd once had, especially the life she'd once shared with the man gazing fervently into her eyes in this moment.
Dare she admit that the thought of coming back into his life was, indeed, making her heart race, and her mind fill with images of happier, more innocent times? Was there any hope that she could recapture what she'd once had with Cole MacAllan?
Cole leaned in closer. "You know how I felt about you, Victoria. I told you often enough. And now that you're back..."
"But I'm not back, Cole. I have a job to do. I'm a matchmaker. I've made promises, and I intend to keep them," she said.
"To Lucy Carter?" Cole said leaning back slightly.
"Yes. To Lucy. But more especially to her father," she said.
"Why does it matter what Lucius Carter wants." Cole leaned in close and she could feel his breath against the side of her cheek. "The only thing that matters is how we both feel about each other now."
Victoria's lips parted and her eyes widened. Cole's head dipped and he kissed her. Victoria's pulse thudded in her ears as Cole claimed the softness of her lips with the tenderest of caresses. She felt her breath stop in her chest and she raised a hand to his chest. For a moment his lips lingered and then he leaned away from her, glancing down at her hand laid softly upon his chest. For a moment, painful understanding flashed in his eyes, and then he rapidly composed himself. "I apologize, Victoria. That wasn't right of me," he admitted.
Victoria reached over and touched a hand to his cheek. "Don't apologize, Cole."
Cole shook his head and ran a hand through his dark hair. His brows furrowed. "No. I must apologize. I don't know what came over me," he explained quickly. He shifted his chair a few inches away from her own.
Cole stood up and paced back and forth for a few moments. Then he turned to Victoria, his hands thrust into his pockets, his shoulders hunched.
"You still haven't answered my real question. Why did you leave?" He peered into her eyes. "Leave me," he said, emphasizing the last two words with a guttural gasp.
"It wasn't about you, Cole."
"It had to have been something I did. Something I said."
"It wasn't like that at all."
"Was life on the ranch not enough?"
"I was younger then. I had foolish ideas. At least that's how they seem to me now," she said. "There was a restlessness in me. I was thinking of other things."
Cole's head leaned to one side. "It wasn't that you were afraid?" he demanded, his brows furrowing.
"Afraid of what?"
"Living with me," he declared bluntly. He paused and bit his lower lip, as if hesitating before saying the thing that was on his mind. Finally he managed to get the words out. "Becoming my wife."
Victoria turned away from him, gazing at the blanket that hung from the roof. There was a long silence and then she turned, resolved to say the one thing that she knew had to be said.
"I'm a matchmaker now, Cole. Not a rancher's wife."
Cole's face paled and his lips drew into a tight, thin line. She saw his chest fill with the long breath he had drawn into himself, trying obviously to contain his reaction to her words. Their eyes locked in silent communication.
"Will you ever be, Victoria?" he asked in a soft, quiet voice.
Victoria froze and felt her mouth drop open slightly. Had he just said those words? Why had he asked her that? What on earth could possibly have caused him to ask such a question? She had no words in response, nothing that came to her mind, so clouded and fogged up with emotion.
She stood, balancing herself for a moment on the folded fabric beneath her bare feet. She stepped off the material and felt the cold wooden floor on her soft skin.
"I arrange marriages for other people. That's good enough. For now."
Cole's eyes widened as he heard her last two words. She suddenly knew she had to switch attention away from herself, make the conversation less about her, more about Cole.
"Would you ever consider a marriage of convenience, Cole?" she asked quickly.
Cole's features tightened in response to her question. She could see the sudden confusion in his eyes.
"You already know what I think of marrying Lucy Carter," he said.
"I'm not just talking about Lucy. I'm asking if the whole idea of marrying for convenience even appeals to you," Victoria asked.
"What in tarnation is a marriage of convenience, anyway?" he demanded sounding exasperated.
"They take place all the time. Especially out here in Montana," Victoria said. "Folks realize that finding the love of your life might not be as easy as they onc
e thought. There aren't that many people in Montana to begin with. It's not like New York or Chicago where people are literally falling over each other," she explained. "So folks understand that marriage isn't always about how you feel about someone, or how appealing they might be. It can simply be about mutual benefit. Sometimes that's enough."
Cole shook his head. "Sounds screwy to me. Why would someone marry another person just for "mutual benefit" as you call it?"
Victoria looked at him. "Maybe they just haven't been able to find the right person. No matter how hard they've tried. That's where I come in. That's what I help them with."
Cole sighed and frowned. "And I'm sure you do a fine job, Victoria," Cole said. She felt a quick and surprising rush of gratification at his unexpected compliment.
"Why, thank you, Cole. That's real nice of you to say so," she said pleased that the tone of the conversation had changed.
Cole looked at Victoria. "But you know something, Victoria. I have to tell you something. And I mean this from the bottom of my heart. It's something I've believed since I was old enough to think of these matters. What you say is all fine and dandy. But, to my mind, a man has no business marrying someone unless there is one important thing that he can truly admit to."
"And what is that, Cole? She asked.
Cole took a step forward and fixed his eyes on Victoria. "The only reason a man should ever marry is because he loves the woman he will take as his wife," he said. "It's as simple as that."
Victoria stared into Cole's eyes, feeling the burning sensation of his gaze dig it's way deep into her. Were those words meant for her? It sure seemed that way. There had been a firmness and conviction in the manner in which he'd said them. It had left Victoria in almost no doubt that his words had been meant for her, had referred solely to how he felt about her.
Although the wooden floor was cold under her feet that didn't stop Victoria taking a few urgent steps away from the stove. She moved around the side of the hanging blanket and looked over toward the door.
"It sounds like the rain might be stopping," she observed.
Victoria went to the door and opened it slightly, peering out through a narrow crack. Sure enough, the rain had stopped.
Cole stood and joined her at the door. He peered over her and nodded. "You're right."
Victoria hurried back to the stove and took her stockings off the top of the stove. They were warm and dry. She put them back on and pulled her boots back on.
"I guess we can get back to the ranch house."
"Mrs. Stone will be worried about us, I guess," Cole said.
"And that lunch won't wait, either," Victoria reminded him.
Cole put on his jacket and lifted the saddle bag. Within a few moments they were readied and prepared for the short journey back to the ranch. Victoria left the cabin. She felt a huge wave of relief to be leaving the confines of the small wooden building behind.
They both mounted their horses. Before they set off Cole reached over and took the reins from Victoria. "Just one thing. I know you have to see Lucy later. Tell her all about your visit here. Give her the lowdown on me."
"Cole. It's not like that. What we said in the cabin. That stays between us."
Cole nodded but still seemed pensive. "And I trust you, Victoria. I really do. But, if you would do me just one big favor," he said.
Victoria looked at him wondering what was on his mind. "What would that be, Cole?"
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Old man Carter is an ornery critter. If you can just find out from him just how serious he is about me becoming Lucy's husband, I'd be much obliged."
Victoria felt herself freeze in the saddle. "What do you mean, Cole?"
"Like you said in there. Sometimes marriages have to happen. Even if there's no love. Especially if there's a whole lot of other reasons why a man might just be forced into agreeing to what you call a "marriage of convenience."
"What other reasons might there be for you to marry Lucy Carter?" she asked urgently. Cole turned away. Victoria briefly considered persisting with her question, but Cole had turned his back decisively on her.
Victoria's heart skipped a beat. Surely he wasn't serious. What about the words he'd spoken inside the cabin? Had his declaration about the importance of love been mere words? Had he been insincere?
"But, I thought..." she started to say but, before she could express her objections to his request, Cole had let go of her reins and turned his horse around, starting back in the direction of the ranch.
Her mind a whirl of unanswered questions and unsettling worries, Victoria moved her horse on and followed Cole.
As she ducked beneath the overhanging trees, Victoria gritted her teeth and told herself that Lucius Carter was going to give her an answer to the question of why he really wanted his daughter to marry Cole MacAllan, if it was the last thing she did.
CHAPTER EIGHT
"But, I'm afraid I have to ask you again, Mr. Carter. Why is your preference for Mr. MacAllan as a potential husband for you daughter so firm?"
It was the day after Victoria's brief, but memorable, confinement in the isolated cabin with Cole. She was seated in the sitting room of the palatial Billings residence of Lucius Carter. The grand house with it's many bedrooms, ornately carved wooden features throughout, and high vaulted ceilings had made Victoria feel even more determined to get a satisfactory answer from the prosperous man who now stood in front of her, leaning a casual elbow against the mantlepiece above the empty fireplace.
Lucius Carter would have been an intimidating presence on any other day than this. His thick beard obscured an obviously strong jawline, his dark hair was immaculately cut, his bearing was erect, his shoulders wide. He puffed out his chest and had the fingers of one hand jammed tightly into the small pocket of his dark waistcoat. He looked every inch the successful man he undoubtedly was.
Lucius sighed. "I understand your concerns, Ms. Carr. It appears to me that your assessment of Mr. MacAllan leads you to believe that he may not be a suitable husband for my Lucy. And I do respect your expertise in matters of the heart," he said.
"It seems that there is more to this than a matter of the heart, Mr. Carter," she said.
Lucius raised his eyebrows. "Really? In what way?"
Victoria paused and considered what she could say to Lucius to convince him that Cole was entirely unsuitable for Lucy. For wasn't that the reason why she had come today? To try to persuade Lucius that his daughter had no business even pursuing a marriage to a rancher who was so far beneath her on the social scale.
"Well, for one thing, it appears that Mr. MacAllan has no desire to wed anyone at this time," she said.
Lucius frowned. "Really? That's not what I heard from folks who know him well. It seems he has talked to many people about his desire to be married." Lucius looked at Victoria directly. "To the right person, of course. And, in this town there is only one "right" person that any young man would wish to marry. My daughter," he concluded with a flourish of his arm.
For a moment Victoria wondered if Lucius Carter knew more than he was revealing. Especially given the manner in which he had looked at her when talking about Cole. Did Lucius Carter know that Victoria and Cole had once been sweet on each other? He was a man of influence in the town and she couldn't imagine much would escape his attention if it affected his own personal interests.
Ever since returning to her mother's house yesterday, Victoria hadn't been able to clear her mind of the memory of Cole's kiss, and the words he'd spoken to her in the cabin. Her former beau had made it abundantly clear that he still held strong feelings for Victoria.
And Victoria had been momentarily happy to submit to his ardent attentions, even if doing so had released a torrent of emotions inside her that had lasted throughout the lunch back at the ranch, and for every moment on the trail back to town.
When she'd made it back to her mother's house, she'd immediately gone to rest, desperate to enjoy some respite from the whirl of feelings tha
t had overtaken her.
One thought had persisted throughout the long night. One thought that stubbornly refused to leave Victoria in peace.
Did she still love Cole MacAllan?
"Forgive me for saying so Ms. Carr, but you seem to be slightly preoccupied with other matters. Are you sure I cannot interest you in some tea or coffee?" he said reaching for the cord which would summon one of the servants.
Victoria dismissed the offer with a brisk wave of her hand. "No, thank you, Mr. Carter. I was merely trying to understand why it is that you are so set on your daughter marrying Mr. MacAllan."
Lucius twisted his lips into an emphatic scowl as if the answer to the enquiry was blindingly obvious. "I admire much of Mr. MacAllan's character. From my dealings with him over the years he has always seemed to have been a hard working, dedicated man of integrity. I need hardly point out to someone in your profession, Ms. Carr, that men of integrity are few and far between, these days."
"But he is merely a rancher, Mr. Carter," Victoria suggested. "Hardly someone of the same fine social standing as yourself," she said trying desperately to control the sudden impulse to sarcasm. Victoria knew enough about Carter's reputation to know that his wealth had been built on dealings, some of which would hardly be called honest.
"That is neither here nor there, Ms. Carr. Ranchers are crucial to the life of this territory. I can hardly say the same of some of the other suitors who have presented themselves to my door in recent times."
"Do you not consider that life on a ranch may not be something Lucy will find amenable?"
"She will adjust to it. In time," he said and paused, his eyes lifting to the high ceiling. "Her dear departed mother came from a family of ranchers and I believe Lucy has inherited much of her late mother's indomitable spirit. In any case I will be in a position to enable substantial improvements to the MacAllan ranch. If the marriage takes place, of course."
Cole's Montana Bride (Sweet,clean Western Historical Romance)(Montana Ranchers and Brides Series Book 7) Page 7
