What the hell were you thinking, coming here?
And just like that, the doubt and fear started to creep back in.
***
I got to the coffee shop early, after a few more days of fruitless headshot submissions. It'd be nice to spend a little while not worrying about the future.
When Maddy walked in, I almost didn't recognize her. It was easier to notice her familiar features in a picture, but in motion, she'd changed.
The anxious, introverted girl I knew in college had all but disappeared. An expensive haircut and recent motherhood had changed her appearance slightly, but more than that, there was something indefinable - like she'd bloomed.
She ran up and hugged me, grinning. She smelled expensive.
"It's so great to see you again," she enthused, pulling out her chair. "And it'll be really nice to spend some time with someone who doesn't communicate exclusively by screaming and banging a sippy cup on a plastic tray." She sighed, smiling that particular smile of a new mother. "I love my daughter, more than I thought possible, but I am losing my mind."
"How old is she?" I tried to imagine a tiny Maddy toddling around. Back in college, I'd never pictured her having kids. She seemed pretty jaded at the whole idea of marrying and starting a family, but time always changed people.
"Almost two. She's been fully weaned for a little while now, but it's been total hell trying to find reliable help." Maddy flipped open her menu, looking at the words without really seeing them. There was exhaustion lurking behind her eyes, and I felt a pang of sympathy. Before I switched to drama in college, I'd studied early childhood development, and spent a lot of time working in the daycare for credit. No one could run you ragged like a toddler.
"It must be hard. I can't imagine."
"I'd pretty much be happy with anyone who could show up on time and keep her away from electrical outlets," Maddy admitted. "But Daniel's very picky. He's only liked one of them, so far."
"What happened to that one?" I asked.
The corner of Maddy's mouth twisted. "He liked her a little too much."
My eyebrows shot up.
"Don't get me wrong," she said, quickly. "I'm not one of those wives. And I trust him. But when someone gives you bad vibes, I figure it's better to be safe than sorry."
There was some of the Maddy I knew. She might deny it now, but she had a wicked jealous streak.
"Sure," I said. "I mean, if I were married to a billionaire who looked like that, I don't think I'd let him out of the house."
She giggled. "It's not that bad. But he can be such a flirt sometimes - he pretends like he's so awkward and he doesn't know how to talk to people, but he never seems to have a problem with women."
"Oh, I know that type." Fiddling with my straw, I gave her an appraising look. In some ways, she really hadn't changed at all. "You always did have a thing for those strangely sexy nerds."
"Obsessive," she said, a little dreamily. "That's my favorite trait in a man. It's annoying when you're trying to have a conversation and they can't stop thinking about something from work, but once you get their attention..."
I quirked an eyebrow at her. "Single-mindedness in the bedroom sounds like it could have its downsides."
"Oh, probably," she said, with a halfway grin. "I guess that's where the other personality traits come into play."
"Such as?"
"Well, it helps if they're not totally self-absorbed." She stirred her coffee. "I just got lucky, really. I barely knew him when we got married."
I squinted at her. "Are you sure you didn't get replaced by the Pod People?"
"It was a crazy time in my life." She shrugged it off, like it was no big deal - but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something she wasn't telling me. Back in college, she was terrible at keeping secrets. But things were different now.
Watching her, carefully, I waited to see if she'd spill more of the story. I couldn't even begin to figure out what kinds of questions to ask.
She sighed a little, staring down at her drink. "I guess...I guess there was a part of me, you know, that just figured...why not? You know? How bad could it be?" She laughed softly. "That sounds horrible, doesn't it? But I never thought I'd get married. That was never in the plan. When he told me that he..." She paused, lost in thought for a moment, seeming to recalibrate the story. "...I guess he'd noticed me for a long time. But he didn't know how to get my attention, because he was just kind of...there, you know? He was the boss. He was the person I hoped I didn't run into, because if he had something to say to me, it probably wouldn't be good news. It's hard to just chat somebody up when they're your employee, and you're kind of scary."
Now, she wore a secretive smile. Scary? After getting my fill of so-called "bad boys" in college, I couldn't imagine voluntarily dating anyone who scared me. Let alone marrying one.
"It was a whirlwind," she went on. "I realized I actually liked him, you know, as a human being - I felt bad that he had so much trouble connecting with people, and yeah, I know how that sounds. But it's not just his money. He's isolated. Like me. Just, always feeling like he's on the outside looking in. I felt that connection. And when he wanted to get married, I just said yes. Because, why not, you know? Why not grab life by the horns?"
Well, moving to New York and getting married were slightly different levels of commitment. But I just nodded, because I could see the light in her eyes and it made my heart ache.
That was the other thing I just couldn't get together. While my professional life floundered, my love life was even worse. I hadn't had a serious relationship...well, ever, unless you counted that one high school romance that felt like life and death at the time. None of those tattooed scoundrels in college stuck around for long enough to truly break my heart, thank goodness.
"But that's enough about me." Maddy made a dismissive gesture. "How are things going? You get any auditions?"
"One." I made a face.
"That bad, huh?" She smiled. "Well, I'm sure things will get better. I'd offer to work some connections, but Daniel seems to keep his social circles pretty strictly in the tech arena. He can't stand entertainment types. Such a snob."
Her words said one thing, but the curve of her lips, and the look in her eyes - something else entirely. She couldn't even mention his name without looking like a schoolgirl with a crush.
Damn. I never would have guessed she'd do better than me, when it came to men. Sure, I was a trainwreck, but at least I could talk to them without getting the cold sweats.
"Okay," said Maddy, leaning across the table a little. "Now, stop me if you're not interested in part-time work at all...but didn't you study early childhood development for a while?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I almost finished my degree. Why?"
It took a second for the realization to kick in. Shit, I needed more caffeine.
"I really need some help," she said, that edge of desperation showing in her eyes again. "And in spite of what I saw you do on the trampoline at that one frat party, I actually trust you."
"That's unwise," I said, grinning. "But seriously, if you think Daniel will be okay with it..."
"Oh, he'll be fine." She nodded firmly. "You give off a good vibe. He likes no-nonsense people. And you'd still have time to audition - I'm thinking maybe three days a week? Just so I can get out of the house, get to yoga, do some gallery showings. Like the old days, before I voluntarily turned into a human incubator."
"There's the girl I remember." Laughing, I took her offered hand and shook it. "Gentleman's agreement?"
"Sure," she said. "I'll pay you the going rate for the area." Then, noticing my blank expression - "it's, you know, it's pretty generous. I think you'll be happy with it."
"I'm sure I will," I said, quickly. "I just...uh, I mean, thank you. Seriously. I didn't call to beg you for work, or anything like that."
"Oh, I know!" Her eyes widened a little. "I know you would never. I almost didn't bring it up, I didn't want you to think...but it's a great so
lution to both of your problems. Can you come by tonight? I'll just let Daniel know, and give him a chance to recalibrate for meeting strangers." She grinned. "Introverts, am I right?"
I laughed. "You're the biggest introvert I know."
"Yeah, yeah. So what do you think? Come have a nightcap, meet the baby? Take the grand tour?"
"Sure. It's not like I've got anything going on." I sighed. "But hey, it'll be nice to meet the man who finally got under your skin."
Maddy was smiling like the Mona Lisa. "Trust me, it was mutual."
Chapter Four
Jenna
Daniel Thorne was a presence.
There was simply no other way to describe him. Maddy answered the door, with little Laura on her hip, but I could feel the man's eyes on me as soon as I stepped over the threshold. He was observing, calculating, trying to figure out what made me tick.
I managed to get a little smile out of Laura, whose big, brown eyes fixed on me much like her father's did. She was very busy trying to understand the world around her, but she still had a little girlish giggle that was Maddy, all the way.
"Hi." Daniel had crossed the room in the blink of an eye, and he was holding out his hand for me to shake. He looked taller in person, with soft, thoughtful features that belied the stern set of his strong jaw, and the firmness of his grip. Radiating intelligence and power, he was basically the exact opposite of Grocery Store Jerk.
Well, that settled that.
His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled.
"It's nice to meet you," I said. "Whoever can win Maddy over is obviously an impressive person."
"I'll have to add that to my resume." His smile grew a little. "It really is my most impressive accomplishment."
"Sure," said Maddy, laughing. "Come on in, Jenna. You want something to drink? I've got, uh...well, I haven't really restocked properly since the dry spell. But I've got some Bailey's and Kahlua, and if I send John out for some vodka and almond milk we can make a drink that tastes just like one of those coffee milkshakes from Dunkin."
Daniel looked pained.
"That's fine," I said. "Really, you know, I could do with some sobriety. I should probably start my tenure in New York with a clear head."
"Psssh. Overrated." Maddy waved her hand dismissively. "But yeah, maybe you should get used to Laura while you're sober. Make sure she doesn't drive you insane. That's one strict rule I have for my nannies: no drinking on the job."
"I'll try to keep that mind," I said, dryly. "You were in on the dry spell, too?"
I addressed this question to Daniel, who nodded. "I mean, aside from the scotch in my desk."
He was joking, although it took me a second to realize it. "Right. Like any self-respecting businessman."
I took Laura, sitting down on the sofa and plopping her down on my lap. So far, she seemed like a quiet, serious child. But I knew she'd only need a little trigger to turn into a complete nightmare - and that was my job to figure out.
Taking care of kids was actually a challenge that I enjoyed. Learning to connect and communicate with them, and work together towards a common goal. It was all about compromise and respect - not that different from dealing with adults, except that children were often a lot more reasonable.
Laura blinked rapidly, showing off her father's long lashes. She had his hair, too - his was carefully cut and styled, but it wasn't hard to see how it would fall in loose brown curls just like hers, if he grew it out. But I saw Maddy in her face - the shape of her nose, her chin, more feminine and delicate.
She'd grow up to be absolutely stunning. That was no surprise, really, although I knew Maddy never thought much of her own girl-next-door beauty. Now that she'd gained confidence, she truly looked like someone who belonged at Daniel Thorne's side.
As for the man himself - he wasn't exactly my type, but I could see why Maddy melted. He really was the ultimate fulfillment of all those quiet, thoughtful types she always liked. I still couldn't figure out how he'd convinced her to marry and start a family so quickly, but I supposed it was just one of life's unpredictables.
I tried to imagine what type of guy would be able to light my fire like that, and I came up blank.
Marriage and children wasn't something I objected to, exactly - though it was hard to imagine trusting someone that much. But I just couldn't quite picture my ideal man. Now that the foul-mouthed, cigarette-smoking assholes had lost their appeal, I didn't really know what I was after.
How about a clean, suit-wearing asshole with a taste for Ben and Jerry's?
Oh, hell. Why was I thinking about Grocery Store Jerk now? I was actually having fun, chatting with the Thornes while I chased Laura across the floor. But I kept going back to our encounter - the flash in his eyes, the way his body hunched over like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Not that that was an excuse. But I was kind of curious. What drove a man to the store for ice cream, and to harass innocent bystanders? Maybe a bad breakup. Probably deserved, but still.
"Can you start on Wednesday?" Maddy was asking me. Oh, hell. I shook myself back to reality.
"Absolutely," I said, smiling. Laura was stacking blocks very carefully, arranged by color.
"We should have one last hurrah before you start your job, though, right?" Maddy glanced at her husband. "You think your dad can handle Laura tomorrow? We can take Jenna out for some drinks that aren't made from Irish cream liqueur, and you'll get a chance to glower in the corner like Mr. Darcy and remember how much you hate everyone." She smiled affectionately. "It's a win-win."
"As long as I can admire your fine eyes." He glanced at me. "Assuming the guest of honor actually wants to go out."
"Sure," I said, chuckling. "You're right, Maddy, sobriety's overrated."
"Good." Maddy got to her feet, nodding like she'd just settled a serious problem. "Bet we can find you a man with some money - I mean, if you're interested."
"Well, I wouldn't say no." I glanced at Laura, like she was going to judge me for being a gold-digger. "But I'm not exactly on the prowl or anything."
Maddy grinned. "Billionaires can be very persuasive."
I had no idea.
***
We were at the kind of club that I thought only existed in movies. There wasn't even a line outside; people knew not to bother. Daniel Thorne and company breezed right in, although I was pretty sure the doorman eyed my dress a little askance. It wasn't exactly shabby, but it certainly wasn't billionaire apparel.
Inside, it was clean and quiet, with just the thump-thump of some unidentifiable music keeping a subtle rhythm under our feet. It wasn't quite so dark that I couldn't see people's faces, but I didn't recognize anyone - yet. I had a feeling this was the kind of place that designers and movie stars came when they wanted to be left alone.
"Nice to see you again, Mr. Thorne," said the bartender, as we walked past. "It's been a while."
Daniel waved, but didn't pause on the way to our table.
As we glided past a throng of people, I caught a slightly familiar scent. I couldn't quite place it, but it made my heartbeat quicken a little.
"Daniel?" said a voice from behind me. I whirled around, and my jaw almost hit the floor.
It was him.
Grocery Store Jerk, in the flesh. I almost didn't recognize him, at first - but there was no mistaking his face, those blue-green eyes, that air of superiority and the built-in smug in his smile. He looked considerably more put-together this time. His hair was carefully combed, and he'd lost some of the haggard look he had during our last encounter.
He stared at me, and I stared at him. His smile faded, just slightly.
"Ben," Daniel was saying. I glanced back at him - his smile looked frozen. "Fancy meeting you here."
Sidling past me, this Ben went in for a vigorous handshake, and I tried to gauge Daniel's reactions. He seemed about as happy as I was to see the guy, which was definitely interesting.
"So this must be your lovely wif
e." Ben took Maddy's hand and patted it delicately, flashing her a dazzling smile. Oh, sure - a billionaire's wife got the full dose of charm, turned up to eleven. "It's so nice to meet you, finally."
He glanced at Daniel, then briefly at me.
"This is my friend Jenna," Maddy cut in. "She's just moved to the city for acting."
Oh, for fuck's sake. Ben turned to me, shaking my hand with a smile that was clearly stifling a laugh. "It's so nice to meet you, Jenna. Break a leg."
"Right back at you," I gritted, through the fakest smile I'd ever displayed in my life.
"So great to see you all here," Ben said, turning back to the group. "I have to admit, I've been a little bit of a hermit lately."
"Me too," said Daniel, his manner still heavily guarded, cautious. "But I'm sure you've seen me pop up in the news from time to time."
Ben nodded. "I've gotta say, I don't envy that."
His phrasing implied there was something about Daniel he did envy. I allowed myself a moment to study the two men - both were handsome, though in very different ways. Daniel was slightly taller, or maybe he just carried himself differently. More seriously. Ben's smiles came easier, but I wondered if he meant them.
There were clearly a lot of unspoken secrets between them. If I was judging the awkward silence correctly, it seemed like Daniel was afraid that Ben would spill something he didn't want to be general knowledge.
Interesting.
Judging by Maddy's reactions, she was just as much in the dark as I was.
Interesting.
"Ben, why don't you have a seat at our table?" Maddy suggested, finally. "You two can catch up."
Daniel shot her a look, but she just smiled innocently. As we herded over to the table, I began to ponder the mathematical impossibility of working out a way where I wouldn't have to sit next to Ben.
I ended up sandwiched between him and Maddy, and I was pretty sure there was no logical reason why he needed to be sitting so close to me. Once again, I noticed the hint of cologne that clung to him - something sharp and sweet, enticing, in a way that made me resent him even more.
I Married a Master Page 3
