The Witch-Herbalist of the Remote Town

by Amos Tutuola

  However, as my second “mind” had advised me what to do, I started to defend myself in the “hunter’s dialects” thus: “But of course, a sensible man does not need so much advice. This is one of the townspeople’s deep languages!

  “I have a very reasonable thing to do and that is why I have set my feet on my journey. Because if there is no reason, woman would have not been called ‘KUMOLU’.

  “If there is nothing which has happened, woman would not have carried a dead person! I repeat it, advice is not useful for the wild people of the wild jungles. But the townspeople have understood all that is necessary to do, while the wild people who should have learnt from the people of the towns take themselves to be the wisest of all!

  “But of course, there are two kinds of people on earth.

  “One—The people of the towns are more sensible than tortoises.

  “Two—The wild people of the jungles are as senseless as donkeys.

  “This I must disclose to you loudly this night! And further, you take yourselves to be more sensible and wiser than the people of the towns, but alas! you are more sluggish than the donkeys! But of course, all of you would never admit this! I relate to the race of the people of the towns and you relate to the race of the ‘wild’ people! But there is a great difference between the ‘wild’ people and the ‘townspeople’. Yet, the difference cannot be joined together with wax! Alas! you don’t know this, but you simply hate the townspeople instead!

  “Of course, one who has first fallen into a pit will teach one sense who is yet coming behind!

  “I admit, I have fallen in your hands! Your thick round shadow, which is a trap for the townspeople, had caught me and brought me up to you. Therefore, this night, I am before you as an offender!

  “The offence I did not commit. However, I am ready to accept whatever judgment you give me! Although the dog which will lose will not listen to its master’s whistle nor his call, I am prepared to retaliate to whatever punishment you give me this night! I am going to prove to you that the townspeople are wiser than you, the wild people of the wild jungles. I know well that the people of the towns are your enemies, but many of you will lose this night for you will not accept my explanations! But before you announce your judgment, I should like to see the Abnormal Squatting Man of the Jungle, just to ask some questions from him!”

  It was like that I defended myself with the “hunter’s dialects” that night before the Long-Breasted Mother, who was the judge, the Old Father, who was the chairman of the court, and the president of the court. Fortunately, they agreed to go and bring the Abnormal Squatting Man of the Jungle, who had nearly punished me to death months ago.

  To my greatest happiness, within a few twinklings, the usual strange thick round shadow brought him to the court. But as he was still chatting with the court members with great laughter and with his large belly which was touching the floor, my second “mind” became active suddenly and it hastily advised me to get ready to shoot my poisoned arrows at his belly as usual.

  So he had hardly chatted with the Mother, Old Father, etc. when the Mother pointed her hand to me. She asked from him: “Did this man of the town hurt you with his arrow before?” Then he replied as soon as he saw me: “Certainly, he shot at my belly twice on different occasions and each of the shots nearly killed me before he escaped. I have even been looking about for him just to take revenge on him and put him to death at the same time!”

  But the Abnormal Squatting Man had hardly confirmed this to the Mother and the others, when the Mother announced loudly that she sentenced me to death. As about forty court bearers were coming to hold me, I hastily shot at the belly of the Abnormal Squatting Man with my bow. The arrow had hardly hit his swelled out belly when it exploded greatly and then the usual extreme cold rushed out from it in so large a quantity that it was spread to every part of the hall and all over the mountain. And as he fell down powerlessly, all the members of the court and the rest of the wild people of this mountain scattered away when they could not remain in the cold which ran out from the stomach of this wonderful Abnormal Squatting Man.

  Then without hesitation, I took to my heels. But when I ran helter-skelter to the gate of this court or mighty building, the iron gate was already shut. But I hastily climbed it and then I fell to the ground at the other side. So from there, I began to run along in the town helter-skelter as I was shivering with the cold. And the Long-Breasted Mother, the Old Father of the Mountain, and the other members of the court also scattered to every part of the town as they were shivering with the cold.

  Indeed the whole wild people of the town, which was on top of the mountain, were also scattered and were running helter-skelter just to find a place to hide themselves from the extreme cold as they began to shiver with the cold. But I ran helter-skelter to one of the empty houses as I believed that these wild people would catch me before I left their town. I entered that house, and without hesitation I took two of the big garments which were hung on the rack. I wore them, and I put one of the huge caps which were also hung on the rack on my head. I did this so that they might not recognize me as a townsman but one of them.

  Then as soon as I had done so, I came out from that house and I continued to run along in the town to the main gate of this town, as I was shaking from feet to head with the cold. After a while, I ran to the main gate, as I wanted to pass through there to the other side of the mountain. The gatekeeper suspected me of being the townsman. As he held me tightly and did not allow me to pass, the two garments fell down from my body and the cap also fell down. Now, he saw me well that I was not one of the wild people of the mountain. And without hesitation, as he was still shivering from feet to head with the severe cold which ran out from the stomach of the Abnormal Squatting Man, he blew the bugle to those who were near the gate. But before those people could rush me, I gave him a heavy knock on the forehead. As he fainted and fell down, I passed through this main gate to the other side of the mountain.

  At the same time, I continued to run helter-skelter as fast as I could to the declivity of this mountain. But I had hardly descended half this mountain when thousands of these wild mountain people rushed to the edge of it. Without wasting a sixtieth of a twinkling, they began to push the heavy rocks at me without mercy, just to crush me to death. But as I was running down zigzag, the heavy rocks missed me each time they pushed them at me.

  But as they were still doing so, it was so I was shooting at them with my bow, and many of them were wounded before I descended to the bottom of the mountain. It was like that I became free from these wild people of the mountain, the Long-Breasted Mother, Old Father of the Mountain, and the cruel Abnormal Squatting Man of the Jungle.

  The Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man

  Having waited at the foot of that mountain till the sixth hour of the morning, my first “mind” advised me to continue my journey to a little distance from there before I should stop to find something to eat as breakfast. But when I had travelled for a distance of six kilometres, my second “mind” advised me to stop and I stopped near a tree. I put all my belongings down and I sat by them in order to rest for some twinklings. But as I was resting, it was so I was thinking of what to eat, because all my yams, roasted meat, etc. which I brought with me from my town had been exhausted.

  Of course, as I was still thinking of what to eat, I did not attempt to go near the shadow of this tree, for I was not sure what kind of a shadow it was. Whether it too was a trap, like that of the wild people of the mountain, I could not say. Although I observed that it was the shadow of this big tree, I was afraid indeed to fall in the trap of another wild people of this new wild jungle.

  When I had rested for about forty twinklings near this tree, my first “mind” advised me to stand up and walk from that tree to a distance of six hundred metres, and that I would find something edible to eat on a strange spot. I reluctantly obeyed this my first “mind” because it was misleading me sometimes, I did not rely on it so much like the second one wh
ich had never deceived me once. However, when I expected the second one to advise me at this moment, it did not respond or object to what the first one had advised me to do. So with reluctance I packed all my loads and then I started to walk in the direction of the six hundred metres which my first “mind” had advised me to take.

  But to my surprise and fear, when there remained about twenty metres to reach the end of the six hundred metres, I saw one terrible wild man of this wild jungle at the very end of the six hundred metres. He was turning round continuously like a top. Immediately I saw this strange terrible wild man, I feared so much that I did not know when fear stopped me on one spot without my wish, with all my loads on both my shoulders, for the fear of this turning wild man had forced me to lose all my senses at the same time. I could not run away for my life, but instead, I began to tremble from feet to head. As I stopped and began to tremble with fear on that spot, to my wonder again, this turning wild man did not stop turning fast for a half-twinkling to look at me. When I had trembled like that for more than ten twinklings, my second “mind” reminded me: “But were you not a brave hunter of the wild beasts in your town, before you left there? Why should you then fear this Turning Wild Man like this? You should try to mend up your bravery now and act like a brave hunter!” Thus my second “mind” which never deceived me reminded me.

  When my second “mind” reminded me this time like that, I first quarrelled with it, and I blamed it that it was too late to remind me just at this moment that I was a brave hunter of the wild beasts. It should have advised me before this time, and then I should not have followed the wrong advice of the first “mind” at all. But of course when I blamed my second “mind” angrily like that, then it explained to me that it simply wanted me to understand that the first “mind” was confusing me and that it was unreliable.

  It was like this that I quarrelled with my second “mind”, but to my surprise both of us had hardly settled this misunderstanding when my fear vanished and then I regained my usual bravery. But my “memory” did not at all agree with this settlement. Instead, it recorded that it was an offence for the second “mind” not to advise me immediately of what to do, instead of waiting for the first “mind”, which it knew to be misleading. Again, my “memory” recorded as an offence the first “mind’s” desertion at this time, even if it could not help.

  However, as my bravery had returned to me, I fastened both eyes on this Turning Wild Man or CRAZY REMOVABLE-HEADED WILD MAN. Now, I saw him plainly that he had two feet which were hardly to be seen by human eyes, because both were half-invisible under his body which was round just like a full-moon. His round body was so black that it darkened that spot on which he was turning round, on and on, very fast, as he stood upright. But if it had not been for the very bright sun of that day, I could have not seen him at all.

  On top of this Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man’s round body, there was a large, ugly and fearful head. This head was too terrible for the eyes of a human-being to see, and wait, because it was removable from the top of his round neck. Although his large head was removable, he was humming, talking, singing etc. with the mouth which went across it. He was also eating with it and spitting out from it, and breathing in and out steadily through the ugly nose which was on this ugly “removable head”. He heard words with the two ears which were temporarily attached to the extreme edges of the head. The two eyes on this head were large and fearful as well, but both were not accurately in front of his head and both were removable as well.

  As he was turning round fast, he was humming so loudly that his humming noise was giving a headache to the several other kinds of wild people who were at a distance of two kilometres. But after several twinklings of watching him with fear and wonder, I saw one small hut which was at a little distance from the sparkling spot on which this Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man was turning round steadily. In that hut I saw many animals roasting on the fire. As I was badly hungry at this time for food, I did not waste time but I ran straight to the hut with bravery. I had hardly bent down before the fire when I began to eat voraciously as my face twitched with terror, thinking that perhaps this Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man might come to harm me.

  But very soon, my thoughts became true, because as soon as he saw me in the hut, he turned round faster to the hut, and it was at this time that I knew this small hut was his own. To my fear again, he had hardly turned round faster into his hut when he pushed me onto the fire with his round body. As a brave hunter, I jumped out from the fire immediately. Of course, the fibre burnt some parts of my body, but this did not reduce my power at all.

  I had hardly jumped out from the fire when he continued to push me back to it with his heavy belly. And to my fear, each time I struggled and stood up, before I could revenge on him, he would push me down again. It was like that he continued to push me down to the ground so heavily that within a few twinklings all parts of my body were nearly broken into pieces. I wondered that his “removable head” did not fall down from his neck as he was doing all this.

  At last, when I believed that this Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man would soon push me down to death, I used all my power and I resisted. So, this time when he pushed me, and then I pushed him with all my power, though I could not push him down to the ground he too was unable to push me down as before. He was too heavy for me to push him down to the ground.

  It was like that both of us continued to push each other here and there in his hut until the roof of the hut fell on the fire and also on both of us. But we did not care to force our way out. After some sixtieths of a twinkling, the roof caught fire and it started to burn slowly for a few twinklings. Yet this wild man did not give me chance to run out of his hut, and of course I too did not want to leave or to come out from the fire until I could conquer him. But what gave me much fear was that as he was trying with all his power to push me down to the ground, which perhaps might result in death for me, he did not stop turning round fast, and so this showed me that he could not stand still.

  As both of us were still pushing each other here and there in the hut which had caught fire, I saw hundreds of various kinds of large heads, arms, short legs, broad ears, wild eyes, round black bodies, etc. which were hung on the walls of his hut, and all were very horrible to see.

  Both of us continued to fight fiercely, but he was unable to push me down and I too could not push him down even once, until the fire had become a big flame. Then as the fire had now risen high into the sky, neither of us could remain or continue our fight in it. Each of us started to struggle to come out from the fire, when his “removable head” mistakenly fell down. But as he was struggling to pick it up and then to replace it on his neck, I hastily picked it up before him. I ran out from the fire and, without hesitation, I began to run away as fast as I could with his “removable head”.

  It was like that I conquered this Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man, because he became powerless immediately his “removable head” fell down from his neck. So I continued my journey at the same time with his head on my hand, although I had hardly picked up the head when he forced his way through the big fire to the hut. Then he began to find another head from the walls as hastily as he could. But unfortunately he could not see as soon as his head had mistakenly fallen down from his neck, when we were fighting. So I had run far away before his hands could touch one from the walls. And as soon as he put one on his neck, of course this one was that of an ape. Now as he could see, he started to chase me along with the hope of killing me if he could catch me. But that was too late because I had gone far away from his hut.

  The Town of the

  “Born and Die Baby”

  When I had travelled far away and was quite sure that I was entirely free from that Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man of the wild jungle, I stopped near the cool shadow of a large rock. I put down the bag of my juju, my bag of food, and the “removable head” which I had snatched from the Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man. After that, I held my heavy matchet, I went
near there and I cut one slender stick, the length of which was two metres. I sharpened the top of it and then I came back to the spot where I put my loads. Then I pierced this “removable head” on it and then I fixed the stick on the ground upright in front of me. So the fearful wild eyes on this head faced the front, as if it was a living thing which was keeping watch of me from danger.

  Having done this, and before I sat down to rest or to find something to eat, I stood in front of this head which was now a trophy for me. I thanked greatly my “Supreme Second” first for helping me to conquer the Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man. And I thanked the “god of the state” of my town as well. This “god of the state” was one of the most powerful of gods of my town. So as from this day, I did not take this head as a mere frolic at all.

  Having rested for some twinklings, then I stood up and, with my matchet in hand, I went around that rock to find an edible thing which I could eat. Within a few twinklings, I found a strange tree which had many big and fleshy edible fruits on its branches. These fruits were already ripe but I did not know the name of the tree, because the kind of such a tree as this one was not in my town.

  I was badly hungry for food, because since I had escaped from the Wild People of the Mountain, I had not eaten anything till I fell into the hand of the Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man. So I did not bother to know whether these fruits were edible, but I simply climbed the tree to the top and plucked many fruits down. As soon as I came down from it, I gathered them and then I returned to the spot on which I had put my loads. Then I began to eat them one by one with greediness.

  These kind of fruits were not ordinary ones at all, because I could not stop eating them immediately one of them had touched my mouth. But I continued to eat them one by one until my stomach was swelled out like that of the Crazy Removable-Headed Wild Man. To my fear, immediately I swallowed the last one, my stomach was swelled out and it was so heavy at this time that I could not stand up or even shake my body slightly, and I could not even wink my eyes at all. I simply remained more or less dead on the hillock on which I had sat before I started to eat these strange fruits. Yet I was sure that there were no wild people or other cruel creatures who could harm me because I had used my protective juju.