The Witch-Herbalist of the Remote Town

by Amos Tutuola

  But my first “mind” and second “mind” who were my partners and advisers, hastily consoled me as soon as I wanted to become sad when I thought of these things. Of course, my “memory” recorded this down for both “minds” as “a good behaviour”, although it did not overlook their past offences.

  The Complete Skeleton Man

  One day, two days, three days, it was like that I began to count the days on and on until one year was reached. But when there were two days away from reaching one year, the Mother announced to all of the burdensome people, as soon as the morning service was ended, that she would attend to all of the burdensome people who would have completed one year in two days’ time. She told us further that we must be in the hall at the eighth hour of the morning.

  But it was hardly the eighth hour of the morning when the whole of us who had completed one year rushed to the hall and sat quietly before the arrival of the Omniscient Witch-Herbalist, her paramount chiefs, noble men and women, attendants, servants and her dispensers who were more than two thousand, her “bird-like organist” and her Covenanter. So as soon as they had arrived in the hall in their special fearful uniforms which were for this important day, but excluding the Mother and her Covenanter who were not yet in their uniforms, the Mother and her Covenanter stood up and walked into the small dressing room. Then both of them dressed in their special uniforms which were for this important day. But their dresses this morning were so hideous that many of us who were burdensome people nearly fainted for fear. Then as soon as she sat on her seat she rested each of her feet on the back of each of the two living tigers. And her Covenanter who held high up the mace of the complete skeleton of a human stood near her, and the “bird-like organist” got ready to play his usual fascinating music.

  Then without hesitation the Mother and her Covenanter sang a kind of fascinating song, while the organist played very lovely music to it. After, the Mother called loudly the surname of a man who sat near me. She told him to come before the altar. Then the man stood up with fear and wonder, because he was extremely surprised how the Witch-Mother knew his name. But when this man stood up and started to walk to the altar with the noises which the bones of his body were making, the rest of us shook heads with great pity because he had already dried up to the bones. But as every one of us still fastened eyes on him with wonder for his appearance, which was too gruesome, the Mother who was omniscient asked him to tell her the type of his burdens.

  Then this skeleton man explained to her: “Since I attained the age of ten, it has happened that the more I eat the more I feel terrible hunger. Having seen this, I began to eat every five twinklings but this did not help at all. Instead, I began to get lean gradually until I became lean to the bone. So when the people of my village saw this my dreadful appearance, they drove me away from the village. So I began to live in the bush with the bush animals. And it was when I was fifty years of age, I heard from one man who advised me to come to you to help me!”

  When this skeleton man had told the story of his burden to the Witch-Herbalist like that, and all of the paramount chiefs, and the rest of her members saw the hideous appearance of this man, they breathed out heavily with grief. The Mother and her members and the rest of us who were the burdensome people fastened eyes on him for more than ten twinklings. Then the Mother told him to come nearer to the platform of the altar. So this skeleton man began to struggle to climb the platform on which the Mother sat near the altar. But alas! this skeleton man could not climb it at all because he had become a real skeleton, although he was breathing.

  Having struggled with the great noise which his dried skeleton was making, and having reached the place where the hands of the Mother could reach him, he stopped. But when the Mother examined him, she found in fact that he had already dried to the bone. So the Mother and her members condoled with him upon the loss of his muscles for many twinklings.

  Then the Mother performed a certain expiation for him first. After that she told one of her dispensers to bring from the rack a certain red ointment. When the ointment was brought, she gave it to the skeleton man and she told him to rub all his skeleton body with it. But to the great surprise of the rest of us who were the burdensome people, this skeleton man had very fresh muscle all over his body and he became fat as well at the same time. But when this man saw that he had become as a man should be, he did not know when he jumped high up and down, and then began to dance and sing with great happiness which could not be described. Having done this for a few twinklings, the Mother stopped him. She told him to return to his village at the same time. Then this happy man prostrated before the altar and praised the Omniscient Mother for bringing him back to the man who had muscle on his body. But the Mother hastily told him not to praise her but God Almighty.

  As he wanted to start his journey back to his village, the Covenanter of the Mother told him to promulgate to the people of his village who had saved him from his burden. Then this man bowed for him and the Mother and also for the members of the Mother with great respect and happiness, and then he left the Hall of Assembly.

  The Bald Lady

  The skeleton man had hardly left the hall with happiness when the Omniscient Mother or the Witch-Herbalist, called loudly the real name of the next person, who was a lady of about twenty years of age. This lady was so beautiful that there was not a man who saw her would refuse to marry her with any amount of money she might demand from him.

  But when the Mother called her loudly by her surname without being told the name, she told her to come to the front of the altar to tell her her own burden, though the mother knew everyone’s burden already, because she was an Omniscient Mother. But her habit was to ask one to tell his or her own burden first by himself or herself to the hearing of her paramount chiefs, etc. and also to the other burdensome people.

  Then with great shame, this beautiful lady reluctantly stood up. She walked to the front of the altar and it was at this time that every one saw clearly that she had not a single hair on her head. Her head was just sparkling like well-polished silver. So as all of us were gazing at her hairless head with wonder, she sobbed out the story of her baldness to the Mother. She told the Mother that she had hair on her head when she was born, it was even very beautiful and lovely. But one day, when her mother was away at the market, one old woman came and rubbed her head with her left hand. So as soon as the old woman did so, the lovely hair on her head vanished at the same time, and then the cruel old woman disappeared immediately.

  This beautiful lady further explained to the Witch-Mother that when her mother returned to the house and saw that there was no more hair on her head, she asked what had happened to her hair, and the lady had told her mother how the cruel old woman came in and rubbed her head with her left hand. She added to the Witch-Mother that her mother and father and the other members of the family tried all their efforts to find the cruel woman, but all their efforts failed. So since that day the people of her town began to hate her and many were making mockery of her whenever she went about in the town. She told the Witch-Mother as well that there was not a man who had tried to marry her or even to speak to her. She said painfully that in a moment she was not happy at all, because of her baldness.

  “So this is my own burden which I bring to you and I believe, you will help me to have lovely hair on my head as before.” It was like that this lady told the story of her baldness to the Witch-Mother as she was sobbing continuously.

  Then after the Omniscient Witch-Mother had listened to the story of this very beautiful lady, she first remarked strongly:

  “When the teeth fall away from the mouth of a lady, an important part of her beauty falls!

  “When a lady has no hair on head, a more important part of her beauty falls away as well!

  “So a beautiful lady who lacks these two things is unfortunate! Because beauty and good character fetch money and happiness for a lady!

  “Now, I am going to disclose to you today, as I am really the Omniscient Mother or
Witch-Herbalist of this Remote Town, that the cruel old woman who rubbed your head with her left hand when you were a child, was a strong beelzebub. She is still living inside a small hill which is at the back of your father’s house. And your lovely hair which she rubbed away from your head long ago is on her head now, although I am going to take the hair back from her now and I shall return it to your head today. But I tell you strongly now that as soon as you return to your town, you must tell your father to put plenty of dried refuse and dried wood on top of the hill, and having done so, to put fire on them. As soon as the fire has heated up the hill, the beelzebub will flee far away from your town!”

  But when the Mother had talked to this bald lady like that, she told one of her dispensers to bring from the pigeon-holes one thick cloth. When he brought it and gave it to the Mother, we saw that many kinds of small roots were tied all over it. So she told the sobbing lady to kneel down and then she spread the cloth on her head. Then she lifted her head up and she recited some words which the rest of us did not understand. Then as soon as she raised her head down she pulled the cloth away from the head of the lady. But to the greatest surprise of every one of us, the head of this bald lady was full of beautiful and glossy hair.

  Having seen it like that, the lady began to dance at the same time. And she was still in this joy when the Mother stopped her. Then the Covenanter warned her that when she returned to her town, she must not provoke the men of her town with her beauty. When the Covenanter had warned her like that, she bowed with great joy for the Mother and the rest of the Mother’s members. Then she started her journey to her town with satisfaction and happiness.

  The Epileptic Man

  As soon as the beautiful bald lady had got her natural hair back by the help of the courteous Witch-Herbalist, and had gone away, the Mother called loudly the name of the next burdensome man. She told him to come to the front of the altar. But to the greatest fear of the other burdensome people, as this epileptic man stood up from the seat, his epilepsy made him fall him down, and it made him fall him down so heavily that he became unconscious. After a while he became conscious, but he could not stand up and walk. Then he began to roll himself along on the floor to the front of the altar. But when he had struggled hard and reached the front of the altar, the mother saw that his epilepsy was too serious. So she hastily sent for one big pot which was on the rack. When the pot was brought to her, we saw that it was full up with roots of trees and water. Then she hastily poured the dark water which was in the pot all over the body of this man.

  To everyone’s surprise, the dark water had hardly touched his body when he became more conscious, and then stood up healthily. Then the Mother told him to jump up three times. But as soon as he had jumped up three times, his epilepsy disappeared completely immediately. This man was so happy that he started to sing and dance with great joy. Having done so for a few twinklings, the Covenanter warned him to avoid abusing people. Then the Mother told him to return to his town. So he bowed and praised the Mother before he left the Hall of Assembly.

  The Woman with One Ear

  Immediately the epileptic man had been freed, he left the Hall of Assembly with great joy. The Witch-Herbalist or the Omniscient Mother, called out loudly the surname of the next burdensome person, who was a woman. She told her to come to the front of the altar. Without hesitation, the woman stood up and walked to the front of the altar, and it was at this time that the rest of the burdensome people observed that she had only one ear on the part of the right temple of her head. This ear was bigger than that of a human being. There was none at all at the left temple of her head, as it was usually for other people.

  But when the Mother and her subjects saw that this woman had one big ear instead of two, she remarked loudly: “One ear does not fit the head! There are two categories of burdens and also there are two kinds of afflictions. One is ‘male’ and the other is ‘female’. Many people have the ‘male’ burdens or afflictions and many other people have the ‘female’ burdens or afflictions. So life is really difficult for the people who have the ‘male’ burdens or afflictions. But life is a bit more easy for the people who possess the ‘female’ burdens or afflictions!”

  But as soon as the Mother had remarked like that, and hesitated, the woman told the Mother how she got one big ear instead of two. She explained to the Mother that she was a merciless “born and die baby”. She said that at first, she died three years after her mother bore her. She told the Mother further that it was so she died every three years since she was born. But when she died for the sixth time her mother and father understood that she was a “born and die baby”, and before they buried her false body this time, they cut off her left ear. But as soon as she returned to her company with only one ear, they drove her from their company because a “one-ear spirit” like her could not live with them any more. So this forced her to return to her mother in order to re-bear her. But unfortunately she was reborn this time with one big ear!

  She explained to the Mother further that as she was reborn with one ear, she had no power any more to die. She said that since then she was carrying one ear about, although, she added to the Mother, she had deprived her mother and father of a lot of their property before both outwitted her as a “born and die baby”. It was like that this woman with one ear told her story to the Mother.

  But the Witch-Mother, who had known everything already, asked from her: “What did you do with all your father’s and mother’s property which you had carried away by other means each time you died?”

  But she explained to the Mother: “When I carried the property to my company, all of us shared it among ourselves, and it was so we were sharing all of the property which every one of us might bring from his or her unfortunate mother!” Again, the Witch-Herbalist who was also Omniscient Mother, wilfully asked from this “one-ear woman”: “By the way, how did you manage to deprive your mother and father of their property?” The woman explained: “Through the sacrifices, which were sometimes clothes, money, goats, fowls and many other valuable things, which the unfortunate mother sacrificed to gods when I pretended to be dead, so I might not die. But when I simply stopped breathing, the unfortunate mother, etc. would think that I had died. They would not understand that my death was a false one.

  “So the false body would be buried. And after the body had been buried, then I would go back to the gods to which the sacrifices were given in order to prevent me from death. And by my spiritual powers I would collect all the sacrifices in forms of metamorphosis, although if the unfortunate mother had gone back to the gods, she would still see the sacrifices there. So having collected the valuable sacrifices in the form of metamorphosis, I would return to my company with them. So that is the life of the ‘born and die babies’.” Thus this “one-ear woman” disclosed the secret to the Omniscient Mother of how the “born and die babies” do their business, although she had already known all their secrets.

  After the Mother had hesitated for a while, she turned her eyes to this woman. She remarked with great zeal: “Your own burden is a ‘male’ one which is difficult to take from you. Of course it is easy for me to let you have two ears, but I am not happy at all to do it because you have caused your mother and father to suffer a lot! You have deprived them of their property so much that both of them have become indigent persons! However, as I am courteous and I am not happy if I send one back without taking his or her burden away, I shall help you have two ears as the other people have!”

  So after the Mother had remarked like that angrily, she told one of her dispensers to bring a strange garment from one of the racks. When the dispenser brought it we saw that it was completely woven out of root-hair and leaves of different kinds. Then she told the dispenser to spread it on this woman. And when he took it away from her body, she had got two ears, each was as normal as an ear should be.

  Having seen two normal ears on the temples of her head, she jumped up with happiness. She danced and sang and praised the Mother greatly. But
as she wanted to leave the Hall the Covenanter warned her greatly to desist completely from her “born and die baby” company otherwise she would become again a “one-ear woman” as before. Then she left the Hall with happiness. That was how the Witch-Herbalist or the Omniscient Mother of the Remote Town took away the burden of this woman.

  The Man with Eight Burdens

  Immediately that woman had left the Hall of Assembly with great joy, the Witch-Herbalist sat back with ease on her special carved large seat. This seat was well carved from different kinds of big roots. And it was beautifully polished with the juice of leaves and roots. Although it was very beautiful, it was extremely hideous for the burdensome people to look at it to their satisfaction.

  Then she called loudly the surname of the next burdened man to come to the front of the altar. But it was a great pity that this man could not walk to the altar, because he was totally lame, the hump which was on his back or nape was as big as a mound. Again, there was a goitre on his neck which was just like a hillock. So both hump and goitre were a heavy load for him to lift himself up from the ground or floor. Not only that, big boils were all over his body and each was as big as the head of a child. His forehead was deeply dented so much that there was not any person who would like to look at it twice. Not only that, as well his nose was so compact that it was very hard for him to breathe in and out. So for this he had non-stop hiccups. More, he had one eye only, the other one had been totally blind for a number of years, and his body was also twisted.