The Broken Destiny

by Carlyle Labuschagne

  We followed the path’s contours around a few bushes. Gently, he nudged me forward, pushing back branches as we proceeded down a small embankment that gave way to a huge, silver stream. We stopped beneath the shelter of a huge branch stretching over us, the tips of its limbs like fingers caressing the water. The wetness didn’t bother me anymore. It had rained for so long I had gotten used to it. The coldness got to me though and I shivered. He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into him, keeping my eyes on the water before us.

  “We need to talk.” He said.

  I drew a breath – waiting.

  “I love you.” He blurted.

  My heart stopped.

  He said it! He had actually said it, my mind rejoiced. It felt as if my heart would burst through my chest. I wanted to reach into him. I stared into his eyes, needed to see if it was real, if it was true. But his eyes betrayed his intent. I searched his cold blue eyes once more. There was absolutely no feeling behind those words, so I didn’t answer him. Instead, I pushed him away. I watched the silver ripples of water as they made their way over big rocks and mossy tree stumps, taking my heart into the unknown. Why is he lying to me?

  “Ava, I said I love you.” He came to stand next to me, his tone hollow.

  “I know what you said.”

  He just stood there.

  I thought about telling him I loved him, too, just to break the ice, but I would never tell him I loved him if that feeling was unrequited. I wanted him, yes, all of me wanted him, but love?

  “You’re no good for me, Enoch,” I whispered to him.

  “You don’t trust me?” He asked, seemingly hurt.

  “I don’t know, Enoch. Should I?” We hide whatever it is we have. You only acknowledge me when there’s no one around. We sneak around at night… I’m a fool to let you belittle me that way. I feel like a dog – one who follows his distant master. I added in my head, too scared to say it out aloud.

  “Belittle?” He was stunned.

  “You heard that, huh?”

  “I heard enough,” he said plainly. “I love you. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  So he’d been inside my head too. But that was the first time I knew for sure. Why would he have hidden that fact from me?

  I had been suffocating myself by obsessing over him, wanting him to want me the way I wanted him. But as soon as he had spoken the words out loud, and when I searched his eyes for the truth, there was nothing. No truth and no meaning.

  “You think you love me, Enoch, but you don’t and you never will.” The words just jumped out.

  He moved closer. I crossed my arms to push the barrier back up again after it had taken so long to tear it down. Why was he doing this to me? Why was he toying with me? I was far too young for this!

  “Would you give yourself to me?” he asked.

  I immediately knew what he had meant. “Excuse me?” My heart raced, my mind shattered and blew away with the wind. He was being cruel.

  “If we can just be together – in that way, you’ll feel it.” He said it like he actually meant it.

  I turned and felt myself rip away from him forever. He was the one who needed me to be with him, so that he could love me. Sam was right, men only wanted one thing! This game was killing me. I had denied it for far too long.

  I began to cry as I walked away, stunned at what he had just asked of me. Maybe the tears were for the relief I felt. I could keep a part of myself a little longer. I knew that if Enoch and I continued this, I would not be able to control my body’s desires any longer. He caught up with me and pulled on my arm with such force that I spun around and fell into his lap as he knelt in the cold mud.

  “Marry me!”

  “What?” I laughed. “Enoch, you can’t be serious. I’m sixteen years old, I … I…” I started blabbering.

  “It doesn’t matter. Where I come from you were old enough at thirteen.”

  “Enoch. I’m flattered, but you’re crazy.”

  He kissed me, crushing his lips against mine.

  “Enoch!” I pushed.

  I tried to free myself from his embrace, but he clung to me.

  “Please, Ava. I need you.”

  “Enoch, you’re freaking me out.”

  “Just don’t give up on us.”

  “If you carry on like this, there will be no us.” I lied to get myself free – there was no us, there never was.

  His hands tightened around me as I struggled.

  “You’re hurting me!”

  He pulled my face to his and kissed me. I kissed him back, but I didn’t feel myself melt away like I used to. It felt forced and unwanted. What measures would he take, why so desperate to get into my pants? It didn’t make sense. I pulled away. His grip tightened and I squirmed under the pressure. I had been in a similar situation before, but that time I had been paralyzed by fear. I wouldn’t let it happen again. I wanted to scream.

  “Let go of her, Enoch.” It was Tatos, standing with his bow pointed at Enoch.

  “Ava?” Enoch pleaded as he released his grip around me and put me down gently. His eyes turned a shade of gray as realization sank in over what he’d done.

  He scowled at Tatos and then gave me another pleading look. I turned my face away from him.

  “So be it,” he said calmly after I ignored his plea.

  I watched Enoch’s painful gait as he walked off and pulled my hood back in place. That was scary, I thought, my body shaking with fear.

  “You okay?” Tatos asked, putting his hand on my shoulder.

  I wiped Enoch’s spit from my mouth.

  “Fine. Just fine,” I said and stomped off.

  I wanted to cry, scream and break something – all at the same time. I shut the door behind me and my heart sank to the floor, crushed. I never saw that coming.

  “Ava?” Maya called from the kitchen as I walked past her on my way to the bedroom.

  I fell down on the bed, my heart broken, no, shattered. I wished he had never touched me.

  “Ava, what is it?” Maya came limping through the doorway.

  I sat up and looked at her leg, no longer in bandages.

  “You do heal fast.” I said, wiping tears from my face.

  The next morning, I woke with Maya jumping on the bed.

  “Happy birthday!” she shouted.

  “Go away,” I moaned and hid under the covers.

  “Come on, sleepy head.” She giggled and kept on jumping, then yanked the covers from me and threw them on the floor.

  “Okay, okay, I’m up,” I said, looking around for a pair of pants.

  I felt like punching her. I didn’t want to face the day, Enoch, or anyone else for that matter. I suddenly realized that I couldn’t remember my dream. I always woke up from a dream. Pulling my pants on, I shrugged it off, figuring that my heart was guarding me against the realization of how I had been used by Enoch. Was my heart broken? If it was, I didn’t understand why.

  I glared at Maya. She had a box in each hand.

  “Thank you. Now, go away.”

  She was way too cheerful.

  “No! Open your gifts.” She beamed as she pushed them into my hands. “Sam said to wake you early and to call as soon as…”

  “Of course she did,” I interrupted as I opened one of the boxes. I gazed at a sparkly silver chain and removed it from the box, openly staring. It had been my first piece of jewelry.

  “Now, that one.” She pointed at the other box.

  Slowly, I began to unwrap the package. I paused and rubbed the sleep from my eyes and for a moment, an image of that horrid mask flashed before me as if opening the box had somehow cleared my mind. I dropped it, shocked. It all came back. The face, the horrid glares, the threatening smile.…

  “I think I dreamed of him last night,” I said to her.

  “Me too,” she admitted, twirling her hair.

  We exchanged a worried look. There was a soft knock on the door. It was Arriana. She held a beautifully elongated clay vase in
her hand, painted white and polished to perfection. I stood up to hug her.

  “It’s beautiful! Thank you.”

  “Okay, mom,” Maya interrupted.

  “Now the other one,” she repeated, pointing at the box that now lay at my feet.

  I picked it up and pulled back the soft material. Inside this box, I found a little blue note resting underneath an amethyst pendant, and written on it was simply, ‘From the gang’. I felt my throat tighten. I lifted the oval pendant from the box and held it out toward the early morning light. Inside the pendant, what looked to be a small tree was magically captured within the amethyst stone. I stared – enchanted. This made me miss Sam so much. I wanted to go home. My time here was done. I’d even go train with the military if it meant I could get away from …

  “Is that true?” I heard Arriana say.

  I had forgotten she could read minds and by the expression on her face, I could see she was hurt by my thoughts. Well, she shouldn’t be reading them anyway!

  “Yes, I do feel that way.” I admitted, an image of Enoch flickering through my mind.

  “I see,” she uttered. “Happy birthday, my girl,” she said as she made her way out of the room.

  Maya was already on the phone with Sam. “You should have seen her, she nearly cried…”

  “Okay, enough already!” I screeched and reached over to grab the device from Maya. I was in the worst mood I had ever been.

  I spent the rest of the day staring out of the window and watching people I didn’t know coming and going in the front yard. They built a stage under the Jacaranda tree and hung lanterns from just about every low riding branch. Copious amounts of food from friendly village neighbors came streaming in, in all kinds of colorful ceramic dishes and bowls. I stayed at the window the entire day, watching numbly, letting the gravity of my failures set in. I wouldn’t leave the cottage until Sam arrived. She would, without a doubt, sneak out again that night. Late in the afternoon, when the sunbeams streaked the deep purple sky with a pink shimmer, Sam entered the room. Before I knew what was happening, Sam and Maya had forced a light blue-gray dress over my head. So kind of them to remember my favorite color, I mused.

  “It’s cold outside,” I pointed out sarcastically, upon feeling the thin material brush against my thighs. Maya smiled, and I knew that the dress had been cast with some kind of enchantment to keep me warm.

  “Don’t fight it. There will be bonfires, fire-eaters, fire dancers and lanterns heating you from every angle.” Maya said, grabbing a brush to run through my hair.

  There was that, I supposed.

  “Please, guys don’t fuss.”

  “Troy will be there,” Sam interrupted.

  “Oh.” My stomach dropped. I looked down at the dress, trying to take it all in. I stared at the soft shimmer of the material.

  “It is beautiful.” I said, running my hands over the material. “Where did you get it?” I asked.

  “Made it,” Maya said.

  “You made it?” Why was I surprised?

  “Mom and I. Anaya cut the pattern for us.”

  I stood before the window, staring at the plunging neckline in its reflection and pulled it up, to no avail. It just slid back down and settled between my small breasts. Sam tightened the bow around my waist.

  “You’re suffocating me!” I shouted irritably. I had never worn a dress.

  “Troy needs to notice that small waist of yours and your beautiful hips as you sway them from side to side,” Sam said, her reflection on the window smiling at me.

  I blushed, admitting to myself that I did do that sometimes.

  Sam started applying Kohl eyeliner over my lash line.

  “Okay, now you’re going overboard” I pushed her hand away. “It’s not like I’m getting married here.”

  “Not yet,” Sam joked as she retrieved her lip balm from the pocket of her jeans.

  I snickered. The Brokens’ first ever bride was not a horrid thought.

  “Why do you get to wear jeans?” I questioned them both.

  “Because, it’s not our birthday!” Sam exclaimed.

  The dress looked almost transparent as I walked past the dozens of lanterns that were scattered all over the lawn like fireflies. They lighted the way to a huge tent under the trees. My boots had been polished and were so shiny; I could see the reflection of the lanterns in them. I pulled the dress as far down over my knees as it would go, and uncurled the top of the boots so that my knees were hidden. Most people had clearly been there for a while. Some were already drunk on beer. I felt relieved as this meant they wouldn’t notice my entrance. Kronan blew a horn and fireworks exploded into the sky announcing the start of the festivities. Nervously, I looked around for Sam and Maya. They were right behind me, nudging me toward the tent which was lighted up with what looked like burning roses – more magic. The longer I stayed, the more I noticed it.

  “Happy birthday to you!” Robert’s voice boomed through the crowd.

  I looked away shyly and my eyes caught Troy’s. My heart melted and his smoldering smile left me quivering. I tore my eyes from his and caught Enoch stomping off into the distance, but I disregarded him. It still hurt, more than I would have liked to admit. As I made my way through the crowd, I couldn’t help but feel someone’s eyes on me. I turned to find Troy standing a short distance behind me. Robert, Greg, Shane and Dave were clumped together behind him. I noticed that there were a few boys in the group I didn’t recognize. I exchanged a little smile with each and they nodded silently. I felt honored that Troy would bring his friends along to support me. Dave walked over and gave me a hug, and when he moved away – there was Troy – standing not a hair’s breath away from me. Now, this was the best birthday present ever! I was sure he could see my heart pounding through the thin layer of the dress. We stood still, just looking at each other. I stared, studying his gaze, feeling his warmth so close to me. His eyes unmoving and fixed on me – expectant. I tried to look away, but my eyes trailed over his voluptuous lips, over his strong face, once again resting on his green eyes. His long eyelashes were the same golden blond as his hair. Startled by his change in eye color (the last time I had seen him, his eyes were hazel), I almost moved back. Was he like me? He leaned in, placing his hands on my hips, and in that moment I found myself alone with him.

  “You look ravishing,” he whispered in my ear.

  Goosebumps exploded all over my quivering body, his breath warm and pleasant on my neck. My stomach churned as I indulged in a moment of bliss. I blushed as his hot lips brushed tenderly against my cheek, but then something pulled me away. A fight between Tatos and Enoch broke out near the steps of the porch. My stomach somer saulted as Enoch’s icy glare penetrated right through me.

  “What’s a party without some action!” Robert chuckled in the distance.

  I felt myself flinch, but at the same time I wanted to move toward the fight, and somehow felt compelled to stop them even. I met Troy’s gaze. His eyes darkened as he moved away, his hands leaving my body. I’d never felt as much despair as when he turned into a stranger right before my very eyes.

  “Go say goodbye to your boyfriend,” he sneered.

  His words stung right to my core.

  “No,” I said firmly, moving closer.

  He just stared, dark and angry, into my regretful eyes – I had ruined our moment.

  “Alrighty then.”

  Sam pushed through the crowd toward us.

  Troy turned and with one last look, walked away, Dave not far behind him.

  I followed them, calling out Troy’s name. He turned, staring past me at Enoch.

  “What’s your problem?” I asked him bluntly. I knew I had to confront him or lose him forever.

  “What does it matter?” he said, cuttingly. “I thought you would have grown up by now, but clearly you haven’t.”

  As his eyes took in my dress, he seemed to soften a bit.

  “Not all of you, anyway. You are still the naïve little girl I tried to
stay away from all those…” He stopped dead in his tracks, realizing what he had just about confessed.

  “What do you mean?” I said, hurt and surprised at the same time.

  “Nothing,” he said and turned to walk away.

  “Open your eyes, Ava,” Dave said to me. “You only see what you want to see.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Well, go get a clue. He wants you, but you’re too…”

  “I’m too what?”

  “Have a good birthday. I should go.” He said, shrugging and offering me an ‘I’m sorry’ look.

  “Yes, of course,” I mumbled.

  I watched them walk away. Troy was wearing the same red and white leather jacket he’d worn the first day we’d met. I was furious at myself for letting him leave. He was no easy catch.

  “Dave, I’m sorry for whatever I did!” I called out after them.

  Dave came trudging back.

  “I know. Don’t worry. He’ll be back. He will always be there for you.”

  What? I thought to myself.

  “Oh, this is just great. More secrets,” I said out loud to myself as he ran to catch up with Troy.

  I watched them walk out the gate. Troy didn’t look back once. I turned, but both Sam and Maya were gone. Enoch, however, stood just inches away. I swore under my breath.

  “You gave me a fright.” I said.

  “Where’s your boyfriend going?’ he asked with a smirk on his face.

  I threw my hands into the air. “I wish everyone would stop calling everyone else that!”

  “Touchy, I see,” he said, still smirking.

  I frowned up at him. There was something sinister brewing behind his eyes.

  “What do you want?” I spat. I wasn’t in the mood for his games.

  “Hey! Easy there. I just came to wish you a happy birthday.” He said raising his palms in defense.

  It had taken him long enough.

  “Oh.” I said, my mind still whirling. How could Troy just leave like that?

  I searched for Sam through the crowd once again and spotted her in Robert’s arms. I tried to find Maya, but I couldn’t see her in the dense mob that was huddled around the food.