He went to her and inclined his head. Leif joined him, doing the same. Her braided hair was white, her eyes were clear and blue, and her skin, though wrinkled, was luminous. She shone with a calm joy, and must have been very beautiful in her youth.
“I welcome you to Uppsala. I have been expecting you.”
“Did Lifa tell you we would come? Is her daughter, Silvi, here?”
“No one needed to tell me. And yes, Silvi is here. She is well and safe. But you are not.”
He tensed. “What do you mean? I’m in excellent health and if I’m not safe, I’ll need my weapons.”
She put a hand on his arm. He stopped. The calm that came over him shocked him. All the responsibilities, worries, anger burning in him, faded away.
“Stay here for a time. See what we are, what Silvi is. She has told me, these past few days, everything about herself, you, and much of what lies between you. I have given her no advice, for I needed to meet you and speak with you as well. Will you have wine with me?”
“I would be honored.”
She motioned to the priestesses standing behind her, and they left.
“I’m going to wander the grounds. Worship some gods.” Leif winked. “Or some goddesses.”
Unn smiled. “Surely the gods must have been pleased when they created you both, to make two of a kind.”
“They liked me best,” Leif said. “Magnus was the afterthought. They copied my good looks. He was just lucky.” He followed the women out the great front doors.
She laughed, low and full. “He is delightful.”
“Not if you have to travel with him for days.”
Still laughing, she led him to a side room. After inviting him to sit in one of the chairs, she poured wine for them, then handed him a glass. It was rimmed in silver, very rare and expensive.
“Skoal.” She sat, raised her glass with a twinkle in her eye, and they drank. The wine was excellent. She was very different from what he’d thought a völva would be. And yet, hadn’t she once been a young woman, possibly much like Silvi?
He set down his glass. “How shall I call you? I don’t want to give offense by my ignorance.”
“Just Unn. It is who I have always been and always will be. There is no need for more than that.” She regarded him for a moment. “Let us not dissemble. There’s no reason to since Silvi told me what happened between you at the Thing. Silvi promised herself to the gods. She feared you would take on her punishment if she were found guilty, so she made a bargain with them. She was so upset, she did not think it through well enough.”
“Yes. She didn’t think of us, or of how we could not win because of what she did. If the accusations went against us, one of us would die. If we were victorious, we would still lose each other. I thought if she knew she was safe, it would relieve her, that it would make her see how much I love her. Instead, my decision to offer my life in place of hers drove her to this.” He indicated the room around them.
“You were angry.”
“Of course. I was finally going to give her the life I wanted to, with the peace and calm she needs. I dragged her into marriage with me and, in doing so, brought my troubles with Toke into her path. I defeated him by heeding her warning. Maybe she should be here, in Uppsala, but I cannot give her up so easily.”
“You say you cannot let go, and yet you did.”
“My anger forced me to do so. Now that I’ve had time to think, I’m here to win her back, no matter what promises she made. If she still wants me, and I don’t give her a choice whether or not to return with me, then she cannot be forsworn to the gods. Their anger will fall on me. But I, at least, will have her back. I’m already estranged from the gods anyhow.”
She smiled. “We’ll leave that for the moment. Why do you think you cannot let go of the things in your life? Why must you control everything around you, including her?”
To his shock, heat rose in his cheeks. He hadn’t blushed since he was a young boy. “She told you of that, did she?”
“She didn’t have to. I heard it in the words she did not speak. Magnus, you came into the title of jarl very young. You were well trained for it, but it was sudden. Your father left you his legacy, Thorsfjell and all of its people, and his trading business. You had to hold on to it with both hands, afraid to lose it. If you control it, you need not depend on anyone else or risk someone failing you. You feel that same need to possess Silvi, but she’s like no other woman you’ve known. She has always traveled her own path. You don’t want her to slip through your fingers.
“And yet, you did let go of her. You say it was because of your anger, but was that truly the reason? Or did you see that she needed to come and find out for herself if she belongs here?”
“I think it was because of my anger, Unn. I felt nothing else.”
“I wonder. You may think that’s the reason, but is it? Did you know to look within yourself to ask why? Even a rune cannot read itself.”
“It doesn’t have to. It knows its own nature by what it is.”
“True, but every symbol has many meanings, especially when it’s paired with another. Sometimes it takes someone well versed in them to see both, and catch the truth between them.” The look she gave him was one of wisdom, woven with humor. Her mouth turned up at one corner.
He sighed. “I should know better than to debate such things with a völva. It doesn’t change, though, that I’m ready to defy the gods to bring her back with me.”
“That’s not anger, or possessiveness. That is love. Let me ask you this. If she doesn’t want to leave with you, if you go to her now and she refuses, would you force her? Could you keep her, knowing she wanted to be elsewhere?”
He tilted his head back, gazing at the ceiling. “If she still wanted me, but wouldn’t be with me because of her promise, I would take her. But if she, herself, did not want to, apart from that, then no. I could not. For her sake, not for mine.”
“Neither would the gods expect her to stay, Magnus. Do you think they want her here if her heart is no longer with them? Remain here for a time and learn, where you don’t have people, responsibilities, and battles pulling at you. Let go of all those things that have drowned out the gods’ voices. You have so much to learn of love and of the gods. Let Silvi teach you about both. She has lived in your world. Perhaps it’s time you live in hers.”
Chapter Nineteen
Silvi lifted her face to the late spring sun, letting the warmth flow over her like the small measure of peace she’d found here in Uppsala. Magnus was alive; she’d have known if he wasn’t. She fingered the necklace he had given her, unable to bring herself to remove it. She was alone, standing in one of the sacred groves ringing the temple. There was peace here, but still she was empty. The gods walked here, though she didn’t feel their footsteps as she had at the sacred grove in Thorsfjell. They spoke their wisdom in the storms, but she couldn’t hear them as she had when they approached Magnus’s mountain. When Unn performed the ancient rituals, the gods were as leaves moving in the winds that drifted across the plains.
She didn’t belong here. She missed the mountains, and the chill air blowing down off the peaks. She needed to hear the boisterous people as they went about their days, flowing in and out of the longhouse. The scent in the air here wasn’t that of the newly planted herb gardens outside of the cooking rooms.
She’d poured her words out to Unn, her mother’s mentor. Now she saw where Lifa got her calm wisdom. The völva shone with serenity, but Silvi would never find that here. Not without Magnus.
Uppsala wasn’t her home. Thorsfjell was. The people there loved her and needed her. They’d told her so as she was boarding Eirik’s ship to come here. All of them had met her at the shore and asked her not to go. They had offered her their own homes to stay in if Magnus did not want her to be there. He would relent, they’d said. A love like his for her could not be denied for very long.
Could she return there, even if he no longer wanted her? Could she be one of the p
eople, working with them, healing them, reading their runes? Could she watch as he took another wife and had children with her? Every time she saw him, would his eyes blaze with the same anger as they had that horrible night?
To never feel his arms around her, hear his heartbeat again, or revel in his strength as he took her to her ecstasy . . .
She closed her eyes.
The vision wavered, just out of her sight, as though it asked to come to her. Perhaps now she could hear the gods and understand.
The sea surrounded her. She could not feel the island beneath her. In the distance, a longship sliced through the waves, coming toward her. A great dragonhead rose from its prow, shields gleaming along its sides. It grew closer, but she couldn’t see who guided it.
The waves pulled her under. Only the dark waters were beneath her. No island at all. “Silvi.” She looked up as a hand extended down from the sunlight above her. She reached for it...
“Silvi.”
Magnus stood before her. At first, he seemed part of the vision, as though he belonged there. But the sun and the breeze drove away the remnants of what she’d seen. She blinked at him.
“You defeated Toke. How is it you’re here?” Her heart pounded with her relief. He was so much more beautiful, so much stronger than she could hold in her mind. It had always amazed her each time she saw him anew.
“It was a very short duel. In a matter of moments, his blood touched the cloth. There was a bit more than is usual because he was dead. But if I’ve lost you, he’s still victorious, by taking you from me. I had to come here. Speak to you. Unn told me where you were.” His lips curved. “After I assured her I wasn’t going to throw you on my horse and ride away with you.”
“You—you would want to do that?” What was he saying? She took a breath that was filled with hope, and kept it within her.
“I always hold what is mine, Silvi. Surely you know that by now. But now I understand why that is so.”
“And am I yours?” She held his gaze.
“You are. Just as I am yours. I need to hear you say it. It’s your choice.” He watched her with such longing in his blue eyes that her own filled with tears.
“I am, Magnus. I’ll always be yours.”
He strode to her and gathered her into his arms. She lifted her face for his kiss. It sealed her to him, as though they would never again part. When he ended the kiss, she grew weak with desire as she looked up at him. He wiped a tear from the corner of her eye with his thumb.
“I love you, Silvi Ivarsdottir. I was willing to give my life for you to prove it. That will never change. Whether it’s in battle, or against the entire world, I’ll always protect you. That’s something you must understand.”
“I do, Magnus. I was so afraid for you and for us. I trusted you, but I couldn’t trust those who would judge us. I couldn’t see beyond that and I made a promise I shouldn’t have.”
“Unn wanted to speak with you about that. We should go back to the temple. She’s waiting.”
“Whatever she says, I’ve already considered returning to Thorsfjell. I wasn’t certain how you’d react, but I couldn’t leave our people. Or you. Even if you married someone else, I couldn’t live anyplace else. It’s my home.”
“As though I would even think of another woman. You slew me from the first moment I saw you. There was no shield, no weapon, no strategy I could use to defend against it. I was conquered from the start. No hope.” He smiled down at her.
She reached up and kissed his jaw. “Where there is love, there is always hope.” As his eyes widened, she shook her head. “You must know by now that I love you, Jarl Magnus. I didn’t want to tell you before, fearing you only wanted me for my dowry. It would be too painful to know if that was true.”
“I required those things, Silvi. But I wanted you. In the end, I realized I need you more. No ship, no gold, no measure of wealth means to me what you do. It all fades in the light of your beauty and kindness.”
His kiss was power and passion, a glittering chain binding them together. Lifting his head, he searched her eyes. “Unn said I need to live in your world for a time. I don’t want to come together with you until I can stand beside you in it. Until I can know what you know, feel what you feel when the gods brush you with their hands. Perhaps they brought you here, knowing I would follow. I was meant to be here with you so I can finally hear them, and so fulfill my role as jarl through them. Then they can bless Thorsfjell.”
“Oh, Magnus, they blessed it when they made you jarl.”
He took her hand and together they walked back to the temple. A lightness filled her that no prayer, no ritual could match. Unn waited for her at the front doors.
“Magnus, a small house has been set aside for you and Leif. Go and refresh yourself from your ride. When you’re done, come back and we’ll have the evening meal, all of us.”
He walked to where Leif flirted with a pretty priestess.
Silvi followed Unn to her room. The völva sat down while Silvi perched on the edge of a chair across from her. What would she do if Unn said she had to keep her vow to the gods?
“So, he did come to you, as I said he would.” Unn’s eyes sparkled with mischief.
“Yes. And he said he loves me, as you foretold.”
“I didn’t need the runes to tell me that. With every word you spoke when you told me of your life with him, I saw it. Did you tell him of your feelings?”
“Yes. He was very happy.”
“Yet still, you question.”
“I don’t question him or what he feels for me. I question what the gods will want me to do, for I promised them I would serve them here.”
“Perhaps you already have, for you drew Magnus to this place, where they want him. They can speak more clearly to him now, without the noise of his life deafening him to their words. As to your bargain with them, let me ask you this. Who dictates the time of our deaths?”
“The Norns. They decide, as each child is born, the moment of his death.”
“And the gods cannot stop it.”
“No one . . . can.” She drew a sharp breath as the truth hit her. “The gods can’t change the time of anyone’s death, not even their own during Ragnarok. If the Norns had decreed that either of us died at the Thing, even the gods couldn’t have altered it.”
“That’s right. You haven’t seen it because of your fear and sorrow. They had nothing to do with Magnus’s victory. They could not accept your vow because they had no say over the outcome of the day.”
“Then why did I feel such peace when I made the promise?”
“You’ve always wanted to walk your own path. And you thought that path led you here. But your brother forbade it, as did your mother. They pressured you to marry Magnus. You went from being under your father’s control, to Eirik’s, then to Magnus’s. With the stillbirth, the threats to you, and the trial, you felt events were swirling around you, taking you with them, giving you no choice in the matter. When you made the promise, it was the one time you believed you controlled your own destiny. You had chosen your path once again, having some say in what would happen. You could sway fate. That gave you the sense of relief you felt.”
“And yet, I controlled nothing.”
“In a way, you did. You came here. You needed to find out if you belonged at the temple, and I think you’ve found the answer. Child, the gods don’t want anyone here who doesn’t wish to be here. Who cannot give of herself freely and with joy. I told your mother this when she fell in love with your father. He was a fine man. And even now, these eyes aren’t so old that I cannot see that Magnus is the same.”
Unn took Silvi’s hand. Her skin was as soft and thin as a bird’s wing, but her grip was strong. “Stay here with him for a few days. Let him see this place through your eyes. Show him that the power emanating from the temple is what makes us what we are as a people. Let him understand that to hold the visions and survive the touch of the gods as you do, takes great strength.”
�
�They haven’t touched me in a long time. I wouldn’t allow it. Today, I let them speak to me, and they showed me another vision like those I told you of.”
“Of your island.”
“Yes. Only this time, a longship with a dragonhead on the bow sailed toward me. I went beneath the waves and there was nothing below me. As I sank down, I heard Magnus call to me and I saw his hand reaching toward me. I tried to grasp it, but then I woke and he was there. I’ve always thought the island was Uppsala. But I’m here now, and yet it was still gone.”
She laughed. “Oh, Silvi, the island you’ve seen all your life isn’t Uppsala. It’s Magnus.”
Silvi gasped at Unn’s words, her blood racing through her.
“The gods have shown him to you since you were young. Just as you drew closer to the island, so you were growing closer to him in time. He will be your refuge in the tempest of the world. It was only when you refused to accept him that the island disappeared. Now, he has come to take you with him. I think when you are his, with all the love between you, your island will return to you.”
Her breath trembled as she drew it in. How could she not have seen it? “Then the gods are telling me to go with him?”
Unn patted her hand. “Your heart is telling you to go with him. Listen to it. For the gods dwell there and they always will. And now, through you, they will live in Magnus as well.”
* * *
The storm walked across the plains on legs of lightning.
Silvi stood with Magnus, watching it come toward them, her hand in his. She was not afraid of the lightning. If it was her time, nothing could change that. It was the creed of the warriors, giving them courage and the will to show their strength to the gods without fear. And now, it was within her as well. For Magnus was with her, and always would be.
In the week since he had arrived, she had shown him all the wonders around them, the groves where they prayed, the springs where they threw the offerings, the tree that never lost its leaves. They attended the rituals when the sacrifices were made, and climbed the burial mounds. Long into the nights, they spoke of the ways of the gods and the powers of the runes. At times, he’d wandered through the valley, alone. He’d said it was so all he’d hear was the sound of the wind in the trees and the singing of the waters as they flowed past him.
Lord of the Mountains Page 29
