“Where were you the other night?” Colt demanded.
Hayes twisted the nut around the screw and grunted. “Well, Dad, I don’t have to tell you everything I do.”
Glancing down onto the table, Hayes searched for the screwdriver to tighten the rest of the screws.
“We just want to help,” Nolan stated, handing him the tool. “You haven’t mentioned one thing about the Army in months, so you have to understand that when you show up looking like you slept in your uniform, we get a little concerned.”
Concentrating on the light, Hayes let the silence stretch out. Once he was done, he climbed down and pulled in a breath.
“I was at the governor’s mansion receiving an award.”
“What the hell?” Colt shouted.
“And you didn’t tell us before now?” Nolan demanded at the same time.
Hayes shrugged. “I didn’t want you guys to make a big deal about it.”
“A big deal?” Colt questioned. “You’re joking, right? This is a very big deal.”
“I didn’t want the award.” He still didn’t want it. “Taking that seems so wrong, like I’m actually accepting the fact that all of those deaths happened, like I’m moving on with my life when they can’t move on with theirs.”
A weight settled heavy on his chest. Isn’t that what happened with Alexa? She’d been afraid to mention Scott because that would’ve brought to life the fact that she was moving on and she hadn’t been ready. His response to receiving that award was the exact same thing.
He hadn’t wanted to come to grips with the fact he was moving on.
Hayes cleared his throat, pushing aside the turmoil of regret. “The award was given to the wrong man anyway.”
“If the governor gave it to you, then that was the right man.” Colt crossed the room and stood on the other side of the table, his hands propped on his hips. “Why the hell didn’t you want us to know? Because we might care? Because we might want to go and show support?”
“Do you think Annabelle and Piper are going to enjoy hearing that you didn’t want them there?” Nolan added, twisting the knife deeper.
Hayes knew this would be their reaction, but he hadn’t thought about his sisters-in-law. “I’ll explain the same thing to them. I didn’t want a big fuss made.”
“Too damn bad,” Colt gritted out. “Why do you think we want to cause a fuss? Because we’re damn glad you came home, Hayes. Maybe we want to celebrate the fact you’re alive.”
Hayes turned away. “Well, maybe I’m not quite ready for that yet.”
He went to the box with the antique light fixture and stared down at it. His first thought when he’d seen it was Alexa. Would she approve? She’d had so many ideas for the house, specifically this kitchen.
“So you went to this awards ceremony alone and decided to keep everyone else at arm’s length?” Nolan asked.
Hayes glanced over his shoulder. “I didn’t go alone.”
Colt’s eyes narrowed. “Alexa.”
“Where is she now?” Nolan asked. “She wasn’t at the hospital with you. She’s not here, but she’s serious enough to take to the governor’s mansion.”
She had been important enough to take. She’d been...everything.
That couldn’t be right, could it? Alexa had been someone he’d turned to when he needed an outsider who wasn’t offering pity. Yes, his heart had gotten wrestled into the mix, but he’d been confused and beaten down. It was only natural. Right?
“We’re...not together,” he confirmed.
Colt let out a bark of laughter and adjusted his hat. “So you pushed her away, too?”
“No, asshole, if you have to know, I found out she’d been married to Scott.”
Nolan’s brows shot up. “That’s Scott’s widow?”
Hayes nodded. “I just found out the morning I got the call about Dad. I didn’t leave her house on the best of terms.”
“And you’ve not reached out since?” Colt guessed.
Hayes turned and sank down on the bench that ran along one side of the table. “Just leave me alone.”
He was done. Exhausted. The lack of sleep, the ache in his heart, he just wanted to get through this on his own...like everything else.
“Being alone doesn’t seem to be working for you.” Nolan slid in next to him. “I’m not trying to get into your love life—”
“Then don’t.”
“But you seemed almost happy when Alexa was here,” Nolan went on.
“How the hell would you know?”
Colt eased onto the bench on the other side. “Because I saw you. Annabelle saw you. You think we all don’t talk? There was something so different about you. You actually smiled.”
“I smile now.”
Okay, that sounded like a lame argument. But he smiled...didn’t he?
“Is it because she has a baby?” Nolan asked. “I know you’re worried about moving on with your life, about getting involved with people again, so I’m sure kids are scary.”
He didn’t want to discuss Mason with his brothers. He sure as hell wasn’t ready to have the family bonding talk about how to raise kids and how to form a life and step into the role of dad.
“I know your fiancée did a number on you and that was on top of whatever hell you experienced during that extraction.” Nolan shifted and kept his focus on Hayes. “But are you really going to blame Alexa for being married to your friend and not telling you? Hell, you’ve kept nearly everything from us and we still love you.”
“I don’t love her.”
Colt snorted. “I didn’t love Annabelle, either. And then I realized I couldn’t live without her or her girls.”
Hayes could live without Alexa and Mason. He could, damn it.
He just didn’t want to. He wanted them both, he wanted them to be his family and he wanted to provide for them, to take away their worries and fears.
“Did you tell her about what happened over there?” Nolan asked.
Hayes nodded.
“Don’t you think that speaks volumes, little brother? She knows and you’ve yet to open up to your own family.”
There was no hurt in Nolan’s tone, just a matter-of-fact manner.
“Damn it,” he muttered, dropping his head into his hands. “I’ll talk to you guys. Just not yet, okay?”
Nolan’s hand came down hard on Hayes’s back. “If she was important enough to take to the ceremony and to tell your darkest secrets to, don’t you think she’s important enough to apologize to?”
“I didn’t do anything wrong.”
He glanced across to Colt who merely raised a brow.
“Fine, I left without hearing her side, but Dad was in the hospital. And since then...I just needed to get my head on straight.”
“If you wait too long she might not want to explain at all,” Nolan stated.
His brothers came to their feet and headed to the door.
“What? That’s it?” Hayes asked. “You two have some code? When I’m emotionally beaten down you get up and leave?”
“Pretty much,” Colt confirmed as he adjusted his hat again. “But we didn’t discuss it.”
Hayes rested his hands on the table and pushed up. “Get the hell out of here. I have more work to do.”
“You also have to call Annabelle and Piper and tell them about your award,” Colt stated. “And when they want to throw you a party or a dinner, or any other celebration, you’ll let them and you’ll be thankful.”
Hayes saluted. “Yes, sir.”
They left with a slam of the back door that had Hayes jumping, but at least he was still upright and not in the fetal position on the floor.
He had a few finishing touches to do before contacting Alexa. He wanted things to be perfect, but he also wanted an explanation. She’d hurt him, that he couldn’t overlook. But he w
ould give her a chance to defend herself because she deserved it...and he missed her.
Seventeen
Alexa smoothed a hand down her dress and knocked on Hayes’s back door. She seriously should’ve called, but she didn’t want him to flat-out tell her no. She figured if she was there in person, maybe he’d listen to her. She couldn’t wait another day. Two had seemed like a lifetime and she was taking a risk driving here and crossing through Elliott land like she owned the place.
Shifting Mason higher on her hip, she stepped back and waited for Hayes to answer the door. Mason had fallen asleep on the way over and was still out. He rested his little head on her shoulder and she drew her strength from him.
Even when this was all said and done, even if she left here with her heart broken, she still had her amazing son and he was the greatest thing in her life.
The wood door swung open, leaving the screen separating them. Hayes had on his jeans and a large buckle with the Pebblebrook emblem, but no shirt.
When he said nothing, Alexa cleared her throat. “I hope you’re not in the middle of anything. I just... I wanted to talk to you.”
Hayes reached out, pushing the screen door open. Without a word, he gestured her inside. Well, at least that was something. He didn’t close the door in her face and didn’t tell her no.
“Oh, my word, Hayes.” She glanced around the room, taking in all the clean lines, the bold splashes of color. The table now had benches, the appliances were missing, but everything else was absolutely perfect. “This is even better than I imagined it would be.”
He crossed to the table and started cleaning up some tools. “I just got this light hung,” he told her as he moved the large box back toward the laundry room. He sat the tools in the toolbox on the floor and turned back to her. “Say whatever it is you have to say.”
Okay, so he wasn’t going to make this easy. She hadn’t expected him to and she probably didn’t deserve the break.
“I know saying sorry now seems convenient and the easy way to start, but I am sorry.”
Mason shifted in her arms, but she patted his back and he settled.
“Sit down,” Hayes demanded. “You don’t need to be standing and holding him. He’s got to be heavy.”
Alexa smiled. “I’m used to him and I doubt I’ll be here long.”
She’d say what she needed to say and leave. The ball would be in his court, so to speak.
“I had no clue you were Scott’s friend,” she started. “I knew he had a best friend in school he called Cowboy. He told me his friend went into the Army and I knew you guys texted and talked on occasion. But I swear, I never heard him say your real name. I never really asked, either.”
Hayes remained across the room. He crossed his arms over that broad chest and continued to stare at her with that darkened gaze. Alexa laced her fingers beneath Mason’s bottom and kept going.
“I didn’t know anything until I mentioned the movie and you said his name,” she admitted. “And by then we’d slept together. I figured once I left, we’d never see each other again and you wouldn’t have to know. You were so angry with your fiancée and your commanding officer, I just didn’t want you to see similarities. Admitting everything would’ve meant I was feeling something for you and that I was accepting that my original family was in the past. I realize that was a mistake, but I did what I thought was right. I was afraid.
“But then you came to my house,” she went on as she paced the room. “I thought staying away from you would be best, but you came by and I had no willpower. The more time I spent with you, the more my feelings were growing and I never thought I’d have feelings for another man again.”
“And what do you feel?” he asked.
Alexa stilled, then turned back around. “I fell in love with you. I’m completely in love with you, and so is Mason.”
If he was shocked at her words, he didn’t show it. This was one of those times she wished her blunt mouth would zip it, but she was here to tell him the whole truth so she couldn’t stop now.
“I have no idea when I fell for you,” she went on, ignoring her nerves. She’d come this far. “But I knew you needed to know who I was, who my husband was.”
“Why the different last names?” he asked.
Alexa shrugged. “I never changed my name when we married. I just wanted to keep mine.”
Hayes dropped his arms and crossed the room. Her eyes darted to that bare chest, the smattering of dark hair, the swirling ink. He was a beautiful man inside and out and it absolutely hurt to know she might have destroyed their chance.
“Do you want to say anything else?” he asked, looming over her.
Alexa swallowed. “No. I just want you to know I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Damn it. Her throat was burning. Tears were on the horizon and she wanted to at least get back to her car before she lost it.
Mason stirred again, this time lifting his head and glancing around. He rubbed his eyes and dropped his head back onto her shoulder then toyed with the strands of her hair. She knew he was awake—all the more reason to leave.
When Hayes continued to stare and the silence became too much, Alexa turned and headed for the door. There was nothing else she could do.
“Stay.”
His command cut through the tension. Alexa didn’t turn around as she clutched Mason tighter.
“I listened to you, so now you’ll listen to me.”
Alexa swallowed and eased around to face him. Hayes crossed the room, his limp a little more prominent today, most likely from the renovating he’d been doing.
When he reached for Mason, Alexa started to protest, but her son instantly wrapped his arms around Hayes’s neck. The sight was too much to bear. The strong cowboy she’d fallen for holding her fatherless son...she’d hit her breaking point.
The tears fell without control and Alexa covered her face—both to block the touching sight and to hide the fact she was a wreck.
“Don’t cry,” he told her. “I haven’t even told you I love you yet.”
Alexa froze, slowly dropping her hands. There was no way she’d heard him right, but when she met his gaze, he was smiling. Hayes Elliott held her son and was smiling like she’d never seen before.
“I was coming for you,” he told her as he closed the narrow space between them. “I wanted to finish working in here, maybe grab a shower, but I was coming for you. I didn’t give you a chance to talk before and I wanted to believe you didn’t betray me.”
“I did betray you by not telling you the second I knew,” she whispered, swiping at her damp cheeks.
“You didn’t betray me,” he told her. “You guarded yourself from more hurt and you didn’t want to hurt me in the process. If the roles were reversed, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. Actually, I have done this, so I get where you’re coming from.”
Hope spread through her, warming her and healing her shattered heart. “Can we get back to the part where you said you love me? Because if you love me, does that mean you forgive me?”
With one strong arm around Mason, Hayes reached for her with his other and pulled her in tight. “You’re everything, Alexa. When I said stay, I meant forever. And you will be taking my name. I’d like to adopt Mason as my own, but only if you want him to have the Elliott name. I understand if you—”
She placed her finger over his lips. “I want both of us to have your name.”
He blew out a breath, grabbing her hand and kissing her fingertip. “It can’t happen soon enough.”
Unable to stop the flood of emotions, Alexa dropped her forehead to his shoulder and let the tears fall. She didn’t care at this point. The relief, the happiness, the fact she was home with her son and the man she’d fallen so hard, so fast for, was just too much to take in.
“Tell me again.” She lifted her head and wrapped her arms a
round Mason and Hayes. “Tell me you love me, because I can’t get used to hearing that enough. I thought I’d leave here and never see you again.”
His hand settled on her backside as he drew her closer. “This is home, Alexa. I want to build a life here, build a family.”
The gasp escaped before she could stop herself. “You want more kids?”
With a slight shrug, he glanced to Mason who was wide-eyed and staring at his crying mother. “I’m not opposed to more. I love this little guy. I’m messed up, so I understand if you don’t—”
Alexa put her finger over his lips. “Don’t finish that sentence. If you want kids, I’ll give them to you.”
Hayes kissed her, hard, fast, then eased back. “What are the odds he’s ready for bed? Because we could start practicing now.”
“Oh, it will be a while before he goes to bed. He slept on the way over here. Maybe if we play outside or take him for a ride he can go to bed early.”
Hayes curled his fingers into her rear end, pulling the fabric of the dress up. “Then you’re mine,” he growled against her lips.
“Yours.”
“Forever.”
Alexa hugged her family tighter. “Forever.”
Epilogue
There was a party and he hadn’t been invited.
What did Beau Elliott expect? He’d been gone from Pebblebrook for years. Busy making his life in Hollywood and living up to all the media claimed him to be. Playboy, throwing money around, billion-dollar home, traveling with a new woman each week.
Yeah, he’d been busy according to the press. But there was so much they didn’t know.
Beau sat in his car halfway up the drive on the Pebblebrook ranch. There were kids playing in the front yard of Colt’s house. Kids. His brothers had married and had kids.
Glancing in the rearview mirror, Beau swallowed the lump of fear, remorse.
What was he doing back here? What the hell did he expect to accomplish? His brothers would give him hell, and he deserved nothing less.
His father had had a stroke a week ago, but Beau hadn’t been able to get away. He’d called the hospital every single day asking for updates. He’d also asked for his calls to be kept from his family.
Taming the Texan Page 15
