A soft knock sounded on the door. “Josie?”
It was Mama. “Come in,” Josie called.
The door opened with a creak. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “Just confused.”
“About Ty?”
“Yes, but I’m starting to understand. Come in and sit on the bed. I want to show you something.”
Mama walked five spaces to the mahogany bedstead and sat on the feather quilt. Josie approached her with the dress in hand, holding the skirt out to her. “Feel this.”
Her mother ran her hands along the silk skirt, then touched a puffed sleeve and finally the row of pearl buttons. Her breath caught. “It’s your wedding dress.”
“I haven’t looked at it in five years.”
“Why now?”
“Because Ty asked me to forgive him.” Josie sat next to her, hugging the dress. “I want to, but it’s hard.”
“I used to be angry about my eyes,” Mama said in a quiet tone. “And I was angry about your father dying. He’d been having pains in his chest for weeks. I wanted him to hire help, but he refused.”
“I didn’t know.”
“And Nate…my only son.” Her voice hitched. “Was I angry when he died? Oh, Josie. You can’t begin to know. Every day I had to fight the bitterness.”
“How?”
“I thanked God for the sunshine, for bread and butter, for everything good. Mostly I thanked him for you.” Mama touched the dress. “May I pray for you?”
“Yes… Please.”
“Father God, You know Josie’s heart. You know the disappointment and the hurt. We pray You’ll fill her heart with peace, and that she finds forgiveness for Ty. And Lord, we thank You for bringing Ty to us exactly when we needed him most. We ask You to bless him. Amen.”
“Amen,” Josie echoed.
As the words faded to a memory, Josie felt a sudden lightness in her body. She’d meant every word of her mother’s prayer. She was glad Ty had come back. Tears of relief filled her eyes, and the hardness in her chest disappeared with a single deep breath. She felt like laughing—really laughing—for the first time in ages. She’d forgiven Ty at last. He deserved to hear it, but what did amends mean for the future? Forgiving him and trusting him were two different things. Falling in love again was altogether different, but she couldn’t deny the thoughts crossing her mind. Nor could she deny another truth. Ty had hurt her first, but she’d hurt him back by not writing to him. Ty wasn’t the only person who had amends to make. So did Josie.
“Mama?” She squeezed her mother’s hand. “How would you like to help me bake some sugar cookies?”
“Aren’t those Ty’s favorite?”
“I believe so.”
The older woman smiled. “I’d love to help.”
Josie liked the idea of surprising Ty with a basket of goodies. He’d said not to bother with supper, but she intended to bring him a basket with a meal and dessert. She’d also write him a note, one that would make them friends again. Feeling at peace, she hung the dress where she could see it. She didn’t know what the future held, but for the first time in years, she wouldn’t go to bed angry.
Chapter Six
Between last night and this morning, Ty had eaten eight cookies. He’d also read Josie’s note a dozen times. I forgive you. Can you forgive me? She’d signed it with a “J,” the way she used to sign notes when they were friends, and later when they were courting. He welcomed her forgiveness, but what did the cookies mean? Sugar cookies were the first things she’d baked for him, and they brought back memories. Good ones. The kind that made him want to admit to loving her, even though he had no way on earth to support her.
Standing at the pasture fence, he ate a golden cookie while Smoke nibbled grass. Josie’s forgiveness tasted sweet indeed, but the second half of her note confused him. Why had she asked him for forgiveness? He saw no need.
“Good morning.”
He turned and saw her walking up the path. When she worked in the barn, she wore coveralls. Today she had on a blue calico with tiny yellow flowers. She looked prettier than ever, while he had less than ever to give her. “Good morning.” He indicated the half-eaten cookie. “I got your note. Thank you.”
“I mean it.” Not only did a smile appear on her pretty face, her cheeks blushed pink. “I forgive you, Ty. I hope you can forgive me.”
“For what?”
“Not writing to you in jail. For going silent when we should have spoken. For holding a grudge.” She looked into his eyes. “Last night I realized what I child I was. We were both so young. I still disagree with the decision you made, but I can understand it now.”
“Like you said, we were kids back then.”
“Yes.” She stepped to his side and rested her hands on the fence. “I’ve put that day behind me, but what that means for the future—for us—I don’t know.”
He wanted to say it meant a fresh start. He wanted to take her in his arms and remind her of what they once had. But he didn’t have that right. He was an ex-con with ten dollars to his name. He had a strong back and a way with horses but not much else. He certainly didn’t have the means to support Josie and Mrs. Bright. Her forgiveness could mean only one thing. “So we’re friends again,” he said.
“Yes, but it feels strange.”
It felt strange to Ty, too. When it came to Josie, he had old feelings and new ones, romantic thoughts and no money in his pocket. “A lot’s happened in a short time.”
She looked at him with a confusion that mirrored his own. “We both need to take things slow.”
“That’s smart,” he agreed.
With her fingers laced on the top rail, she looked at Smoke. “I missed you as much as your horse did. Being friends again will be nice.”
Ty agreed, but not fully. Friendship struck him as pale compared to the love they’d once shared. It was bread when he wanted cake. It would satisfy him, but he wanted more…he wanted to love her again. Looking out to the pasture, he had a sense of being back behind bars. Instead of steel, they were made of his inability to support her, but they were as real as the ones in prison. He wanted to break free, but he didn’t see a way.
Josie still had her eyes on the horse. “The race is in two weeks. How’s Smoke doing?”
“Good.”
“So we have a shot at winning?”
He liked how we sounded, but he had to remember his place. “He’s your horse and I’m a hired hand. It’s your race, Josie. I’m just riding in it.”
“I have two things to say.” She sounded like the boss. “Smoke belongs to you. Nate bought him for a song because no one else could ride him. I’ll sell him back to you for the money I owe you for paying Obie and Gordie.”
The price was fair to both of them. “It’s a deal.”
“Good.”
He hesitated, then said, “But I’m not splitting the prize money.”
“Ty—”
“I don’t want to argue.” He turned to look at her and wished he hadn’t. She seemed to look right through him. “It’s not pride, Josie. I owe you.”
“I thought forgiveness wiped the slate clean.”
“It does.”
“Then why won’t you take your share?”
“You need it.”
“So do you,” she countered. “Don’t you have plans for the future? With five-hundred dollars you could get a fresh start somewhere…even here in Rock Creek.”
Had she just asked him to stick around for a while? Neither of them were ready to go past being friends, but they’d once been in love and they hadn’t forgotten those feelings. If Ty owned Smoke, he could justify taking half the prize money. If he gave it to Josie after the race, he’d feel like
part owner of the Bar JB. He could think about courting her. No, he corrected himself, he could do more than think about it…he could romance her like he’d done when they were kids.
“All right,” he agreed. “We’ll split it.”
“So we’re partners now.”
“Business partners,” he confirmed.
Smiling sweetly, she offered her hand. Ty took it, but they didn’t shake on the deal and break apart. They stood with their fingers touching and their eyes asking questions of themselves and each other. Ty thought of the time he’d let her down, broke the grip and looked away.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
He frowned at the meadow. “I won’t let you down, Josie.”
“I know you’ll do your best,” she said evenly. “But winning isn’t everything.”
“It is to me.”
“Not to me,” she replied. “I’m trusting you to ride hard and fair. That’s all anyone can ask. Winning and losing aren’t in your hands.”
“I’ll show up,” he assured her. “And I’ll win, because it’s the only way I can—” he stopped in midsentence.
“The only way you can what?”
“Never mind.” He didn’t dare mention courting her. Before he breathed a word of romance, he had to be able to support her. And to support her he had to win the Maze. “I better get to work,” Ty said, though he could think of something he’d like a lot more…a picnic in a pretty meadow, a ride to nowhere with nothing to do but enjoy each other. Someday he hoped to have those opportunities.
They turned at the same time. When she tipped up her chin and smiled, he had to fight the urge to do what he’d wanted to do for five years. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to marry her, and he wanted to pick up his dirty socks just like Reverend Hall had instructed. If he won the Maze, he’d do all of that and more. If he didn’t…the thought didn’t bear considering. He shifted his gaze from Josie’s lips to her eyes. As if she knew what he’d been thinking—and she did—she gave him a sassy look. He gave her a daring one back, and she laughed. “I think I like being friends.”
“Me, too.”
They walked back to the barn without touching hands, trading friendly barbs as if they were kids again. But it wasn’t enough…not nearly enough. For the future he wanted to give to Josie, Ty had to win that race. Until then, he’d be her friend, nothing more. No kissing. No hand holding. No sitting on the porch or walks in the moonlight. Friendship only and that was final.
* * *
Josie meant it when she told Ty they needed time to sort their feelings, but a week later she had her answers. She’d forgiven him and wanted to love him again. Not only did he work hard on the ranch, he’d been kind to her mother and gentle with her. Their evening suppers with Mama were the highlight of each day, with the three of them remembering Nate and Papa and the good times they’d had. Josie had expected some of her bitterness to linger, but it disappeared as completely as a caterpillar turned to a butterfly.
At night she looked at her wedding dress and imagined wearing it, but with her new hope came wariness. If Ty still had feelings for her, he was hiding them well. She also worried about his impulsive ways. He’d fired Obie without her permission, and she could see him always taking risks. The possibilities frightened her, but she could also imagine Ty kissing her, something that hadn’t happened. He hadn’t even come close and she didn’t know what to think. That’s why she was sitting in the kitchen at almost midnight with a cup of lukewarm tea. Ty had left the house two hours ago, and she hadn’t shaken her disappointment in yet another polite goodbye, or her concern that he’d somehow let her down.
“Josie?” Mama appeared in the doorway. “You’re up late.”
“I can’t sleep.”
Mama sat with a soft plop. “Because of Ty?”
“Always!” She chewed her lip in frustration. “The past week has been good. I really have forgiven him, but I’m just not sure I can trust him again.”
“I understand,” Mama agreed. “Forgiving someone who’s hurt you doesn’t mean you let it happen again. It means you don’t hold it against them. You start over and make new choices.”
“Even that’s confusing,” Josie admitted. “I thought maybe we would sit on the porch like we used to, but he leaves the minute you go to bed.”
“I’ve seen how polite he’s been.”
“Too polite.”
Mama thought for a minute. “He’s always had a lot of pride. Maybe he’s bothered to be working for you.”
“I don’t think of him as a hired hand. He’s more like family.”
“A brother?”
Josie’s cheeks flushed. “No, not at all.”
“Does Ty know that?”
“I think so, but it’s complicated. He’s always had an impulsive streak. It’s what got him into trouble, and it still worries me.” She sighed. “Sometimes I think he cares about me, but he treats me like…like Nate.”
Mama’s voice turned conspiratorial. “Would you like some advice from an old lady?”
“You’re not that old.”
“I’m old enough,” Mama replied. “Here’s what you do. Invite Ty to take a walk in the moonlight. If he doesn’t kiss you, then you kiss him.”
“Mama!”
“I may be old, but I remember what it’s like to care about a man. Men are strong and generous creatures. They’ll fight and die for us, but they don’t always remember that tenderness counts as much as putting a roof over our heads. I suspect that’s particularly true of Ty. As for trusting him, why not take things one step at a time? Ty’s turned into a man with a strong faith. If you have feelings for each other, the trust will come.”
Josie curled her fingers around the teacup. “Do you really think so?”
“I do.” Mama stood and smiled down at her. “Stay brave and things will work out.”
“I hope so.”
Mama ambled back to bed, and Josie finished her tea. By the time she took the last swallow, she’d decided that her mother had a good idea. Ty needed to know how she felt, and tomorrow night she’d show him.
* * *
Thinking of Josie as just a friend was harder than Ty ever dreamed. It had been easier to cope with her bitterness than with cookies and good times. Supper tonight had been pure pleasure and so had doing the dishes together. He washed. She dried. But they didn’t tease like they used to. He dumped the water in the garden, set down the tub and was headed back to kitchen when Josie came outside.
“Let’s take a walk,” she said.
“Where to?”
“The stream.”
The place where they’d smooched as kids…Ty shook his head. “It’s late—”
“It’s not that late.” Josie took his hand and pulled him down the path. “Come with me, Ty. I’d like to talk a bit.”
“All right.” As long as they just talked, he’d be fine. Never mind his true feelings for her…until he won the race, he had to keep three feet away from her at all times. That meant letting go of her hand, but he didn’t have the will to do it. Her palm felt warm against his. It also felt right, so he walked with her to the stream that ran a quarter-mile behind the house. As they neared the water, Ty heard crickets and water rippling over rocks. “It’s pretty,” he said to Josie. Suddenly aware of her, he broke his grip and hooked his thumbs in his back pockets. “What did you want to talk about?”
She crossed her arms at her waist, dropped them to her sides, then crossed them again. She did that when she was worried about something. Ty’s brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?
“Nothing.”
“I know you, Josie. There’s something wrong when you do that arm thing.”
He wanted to take her hand again…to hold her and offer a strong shou
lder. He settled for turning in her direction. In the same breath, she turned to him. Her hand went to his jaw, then his cheek. Common sense told him to step back. Something stronger made him step into her embrace.
Josie leaned closer, her lips slightly parted in invitation. She looked into his eyes, leaned closer still so that her mouth was an inch from his. By pure strength of will, he resisted the urge to kiss her. Her eyes clouded with indecision, then she turned bold and said, “Are you going to kiss me or not?”
“I might,” he said with his old arrogance.
“Well, I just might let you.”
He liked this kind of sass. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah…”
He kissed her then. It was sweet and tender, everything they’d once had and yet so much more. They’d both gotten burned, but the scars made tonight’s caress all the sweeter. Ty kissed her a long time…too long but he didn’t care.
Josie broke the kiss but stayed in his arms. “Why didn’t you do that sooner?”
He suddenly felt like a thief. “I don’t have the right, not until I win the Maze and have something to offer.”
“You have something now,” she murmured. “You have yourself.”
“It’s not enough.” Or was it? He thought of leaving her to chase the Scudders, but this time there was more on the line. She’d lose her home if he didn’t win, and he couldn’t give her anything to replace it, nothing at all.
Moonlight glowed on her determined face. “I don’t care if you win the Maze or not. I just need to trust you. If you show up for the race, that’s enough.”
“That sounds like a test.”
“Maybe it is.”
Ty didn’t like tests, but he understood her concern. “I’ll be there, Josie girl. But you’re wrong about showing up being enough. If I lose the race, you lose the ranch. What then? I could work for wages, but where would we live? The Dyer place with trail trash and fleas? We’d always be poor.”
Brides of the West: Josie's Wedding DressLast Minute BrideHer Ideal Husband Page 6
