by Theda Vallee
“Five minutes. If you are not downstairs, I will send your Aunt up for you,” she said, leaving the room in a huff.
She was going to kill me later, but right now, I had bigger problems, like the dude stinking up my closet and the half-naked Prince in my room. After everyone filed out, I turned to Kaz. “Turn around, please. I’d like to get dressed before I ask you why you popped out of my closet half naked and ready to kill.”
Instead of turning around, he gave me an exaggerated wink and snapped his fingers. My skin tingled like a thousand feathers were stroking me. I looked down as a pair of yoga pants that fit perfectly, and a soft t-shirt formed in a matter of seconds.
“You could’ve done that the whole time?”
“Well, there was a lot of chaos, and I was rousted from my slumber. My facilities weren’t fully intact,” he said stumbling over his words as a slight blush crept over his cheeks.
“Oh, now you’re embarrassed?”
“Of course not. I was startled. That’s hardly my fault.”
“I accept your non-apology. Now let’s talk about boundaries, shall we? How do you know where to find me? How do you know when I’m upset? And how can I stop you from popping in at awkward moments?” I said, poking my finger into his chest with each word.
“You realize, you’re assaulting royalty with all of your finger poking,” he said, rubbing his chest.
I glared at him, my eyes narrow slits. “You’re a royal pain in the ass, and you’d better start answering my questions.”
Kaz heaved a sigh of annoyance. “Fine. The mark on you that sealed our deal is akin to a magical GPS. It lets me track you wherever you go across any of the realms. You’d be surprised how many people make a deal without intending to fulfill their end. Part of that tracking relays your emotional state with it. As I’ve said, we like to protect our investments, or seize on an opportunity for additional favors when the occasion arises.”
My mind tried to run through the catalog of feelings I’d had since I met him. Annoyance was a big one. Hopefully, he picked up on that loud and clear. Did he know when my hormones were running wild? That would be unfortunate. “Is it like what Vee does with her lie-detecting gifts?”
“Not really. It’s small impressions or shadows of your feelings. Strong emotions such as terror come through loudly. The mark doesn’t care too much about other feelings like grief, joy, or lust, but they transfer,” he said, placing emphasis on the word lust.
“Going forward, can we agree you’ll call or text me like a normal person unless you feel death knocking?”
“Text? What makes you think I have a cellphone?”
“You don’t have cell phones in the Unseelie court?”
“Why would we? The need to share everything you’re doing at every moment is a human construct,” he said, looking horrified at the thought.
“Then how do you tell someone you want to come over?”
“We send a messenger.”
“That’s not going to work,” I said, throwing my hands up in frustration. “You’d better think of something, because my Aunt will be up here any second now, and we’ll both regret that.”
He closed his eyes and tilted his head back seemingly as frustrated as I was. “You realize I’ve never had someone who owed me a favor dare to be as demanding as you are.”
“There’s a first time for everything, and if you’d done your homework, you would have known what you were getting into with me.”
A prickle of heat rolled across my arm. I brushed the area distractedly. There better not be a fairy spider in these magicked clothes. The heat grew in intensity until my arm felt like there was a campfire burning on it. I lifted my sleeve, staring at the skin. Nothing. What the hell was going on?
Looking up, Kaz was staring at the spot on my arm intently. “What are you doing?”
“Signaling you. Is it noticeable?”
“Yes. It feels like I’m going to internally combust.”
“Good, I’ll use that to let you know I’m on my way. When I have time, I’ll purchase one of those cell devices.”
“Can you magic a shirt on? You can’t walk around bare-chested.”
Kaz ran a hand down the chiseled ridges of his abs. “Is it distracting you?”
If he was telling the truth about being able to feel my emotions, he already knew the answer. His chest made my knees weak. The tattoo that covered his shoulders and curled across his chest made things worse. I sounded like Nerina more often than I was comfortable with lately. “I couldn’t care less, but my sister will drool on you, and my grandmother might throw you out. So, please cover-up.”
“Dolce, it’s me, your Aunt. I’m coming into your room now.”
I was too tired for this shit.
The smell of coffee wafted up the stairs as I made my way to the kitchen. At least someone had enough sense to know I’d be easier to contend with if I was caffeinated. The clock on the wall said it was almost six-thirty in the morning. Everyone was settled around the kitchen table looking more alert than they had a right to be. It had been a little after three when Kaz and I were on our way back. That meant Bob had been staring at me while I slept for at least two hours. How had Kaz not noticed that when he whisked me into my room? For someone who claimed to be an expert at keeping himself alive, he’d missed a huge fucking red flag.
I stopped at the coffee pot, filling my cup to the brim. Taking a sip, I asked, “Are we not opening the bakery today?”
“We can’t. We have a house full of contraband,” Gia said, staring into her mug.
“One man in my closet doesn’t mean the house is full of contraband.”
“We needed help with the spell for Luc, so we brought him back here, too. He’s tied up in the living room,” Nerina said. “In my defense, we brought Luc here first. They showed up with that creep later.”
Kaz wandered into the kitchen, looking wholly out of place. He glanced around the room like he’d never seen a kitchen before. I almost felt bad for him. He’d been ripped from sleep by my panic, and now he was stuck listening to our family drama.
“If you want to go, I can deal with this. Maybe you could just check back in a few hours,” I said, offering him an escape.
“I’ll take a cup of coffee first if that’s all right,” he said.
“Sure. Help yourself. Cups are in the cabinet.” I almost laughed when he gaped at me in surprise. It was clear he wasn’t used to making his own cup of coffee in the Shadowlands.
Counting to ten, I made my way over to the table. I’d had three hours of sleep in the last forty-eight hours. It would take every trick in my arsenal not to flip the fuck out on my family. I had some blame in this. I should have never let them get involved, but they were impossible to deter. If I’d thought they’d do something as insane as kidnap Bob, I would’ve never left them alone.
I sat at the table, trying to look relaxed. I’d learned it was best to start an interrogation with a neutral question. If you could get the suspect talking, they might give you the answer you were looking for. I smiled at Nerina, the weakest link and asked, “Where are Vee and Brady?”
“Mr. Brady said he had to follow a lead and would text you later. Vee is gathering supplies. We were out of mermaid scales,” Nonna replied.
I nodded, sipping my coffee. Kaz settled into the chair next to me, smiling pleasantly as he warmed his hands on his mug. I was going to throat punch him if he was a morning person. No one should be that happy this early.
“Has anyone seen Easton since he left yesterday?” I looked around the table, no one would make eye contact. “Did anyone wonder if he’d drop by before you turned our house into a storage facility for the recently kidnapped?”
“You are not in charge of this operation,” Nonna said, crinkling her nose in distaste.
“I’m the only one acting responsible enough to be in charge right now. You should’ve never brought Bob here. Was he in imminent danger? Do you have one good reason for kidnapping him? Becaus
e that’s what you’ve done, which is not what a responsible leader would do.”
“Do not lecture me, young lady, especially when you are running around, sharing your bed with many different men.”
Taking a deep breath, I worked to keep my voice calm and even. “Is that what you think we should focus on? I’m not sleeping with Kaz, but if I were, it would literally be the last thing we need to worry about.”
“So, you admit you’re sleeping with Luc?” Nonna shot back.
“Oh, my God! Yes. I’m having loads of sex with Luc because I sat around for six years letting my vagina atrophy until there was almost nothing left of it. As a matter of fact, everyone in this house is getting dick but you. It doesn’t matter, because if we don’t find Easton and release Luc from his curse and get Bob back home, the Osservatori will kill me before you can.”
Gia cleared her throat, raising her hand. “I’m not getting any dick.”
“Now that we’ve got the dick situation in the house settled, perhaps we can hear about the spell you found Nerina,” Kaz said, awkwardly jumping in to change the subject. I wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit or mine, but I was grateful. I was not about to argue about my sex life when we had piles of other shit to sort through.
“We found a Celtic spell that should break anything that’s attached to him. We didn’t have all the ingredients, so Vee went to find them. I’m not sure I can read the spell properly. It’s in Gaelic, but it’s the best we could do without access to a bigger library,” Nerina answered.
I shook my head in confusion. “How do you know it will work if you couldn’t read it?”
“There were pictures,” Nerina said with an eye-roll.
“I can be of some assistance, as I speak and read a bit of Irish. My mother had a lady-in-waiting that taught me,” Kaz offered.
“A little is better than nothing,” Gia said. “I’ll go get it.”
“Wait, can we circle back to when you said we need to find where Easton is? Why? I think it’s better if he stays far away,” Nerina said.
A slightly deranged laugh spilled out of me at the mention of Easton. I’d forgotten they had no idea. “We learned some fascinating things at the party last night. Easton is the son of the Grand Puba of Rage Against the Humans. Easton wasn’t content to just hate humans, though. He wanted to kill them, so he started his own gang and released the Tarantella.”
“Easton does not have enough brain cells to be a crime boss,” Nonna sniffed.
“Yeah, I agree with Nonna. He is too cute to be evil, and he’s super dense,” Nerina said.
I shrugged my shoulders, not sure what they wanted me to say. “I don’t think the Grand Puba was lying. I threatened to kill him and took some of his hair to make a poppet if he screwed me over. His motivation to tell the truth was strong. Besides, maybe Easton was faking. I mean, he’s a murderer. It’s not like they’re known for honesty.”
Gia came back, handing a piece of paper to Kaz. He studied it intently for a few moments, nodding as his eyes scanned the page. “This is actually Welsh, which is better since my mother is from Wales. She hasn’t been home in a few hundred years, but she made sure I was fluent in her native tongue.”
“Holy crap, your mom is that old? How old are you?” Nerina asked.
“I’m thirty. My mother didn’t intend to have children, but even a centuries-old witch can have a mishap,” he answered.
“Etta, you have something in common with his mother,” Nonna said. “Except she waited until she was an adult to spread her legs.”
The tight line across Nonna’s forehead told me she was livid. Well, that made two of us. I was an adult, and I was a witch. Why were we still pretending to uphold the morality of the church? Sure, back when they were burning us witches, it was a good idea to show up at church every Sunday, but what the hell did it matter now? No one was going to show up in our front yard with pitchforks.
I didn’t want to fight with her anymore right now. Instead, I ignored her jab and asked, “Does anyone have any ideas on how we can find Easton?”
“We could text him and tell him you want to meet?” Aunt Sophia offered. “There would be no reason for him to say no.”
That was probably the smartest thing anyone had said all morning. “All right, how about we all take a little nap and when we get up, we’ll try that? Hopefully, Vee will be back with the supplies by then. Is anyone else worried that Bob or Luc might need to use the bathroom?”
Chapter Twenty-One
I lay in bed between Nerina and Gia, too creeped out to sleep in my room with Bob in my closet. Kaz hadn’t liked the idea, either. He’d insisted on sending a guard to watch both of the men while we slept. It was chivalrous, even if he made it clear he was only doing it to protect his investment.
Kaz confused me. One minute, he was sweet and charming. The next, he was cryptic and guarded. I couldn’t imagine he was a cold-hearted bastard when he blushed. Besides, he told me who he was every chance he got. He had his own agenda, and I was a means to an end. It was brutal to hear, but at least it was the truth. It made me like him more than I should. The fact that he was sexy as hell didn’t hurt, either.
Gia’s snores vibrated my pillow, making me feel like I was at a monster truck rally. I felt awful for the poor girl that married her someday. I’d send her to the couch, but Luc was in there spewing hatred from under his gag. I rolled over, hoping my back would create a sound barrier. Nerina lay on her side, smiling at me. She didn’t look the least bit tired.
“You’re gonna be in so much trouble if we don’t die this week,” she said in a sing-song voice. “I can’t believe you told Nonna you’ve been banging Luc. I thought her head would explode.”
“Shut up and go to sleep,” I hissed, closing my eyes to show her how.
“Dude, how can you expect me to go to sleep when so much crazy stuff has happened? We haven’t talked about any of it. I need you to tell me about your new weird prince friend. Is he single?”
“I don’t know, but he kisses like the devil. Slow, sultry, and damning,” I said, my voice dropping to a husky timbre. Just the thought of his kiss made me sweat. “I thought you wanted Leander.”
She let out a forlorn sigh. “He’s not Schrodinger’s boyfriend anymore.”
I blinked at her, not even sure what that could mean. “What the hell is Schrodinger’s boyfriend?”
“When a guy is potentially your boyfriend until he isn’t. When he’s single, he could be your boyfriend until he gets a girlfriend and then that potential disappears. How do you not know these things? I think Leander has a girlfriend. I saw him kiss some beautiful chick at the Emerald Queen. I can’t talk about it. Tell me why you know what Kaz kisses like. You’re turning into such a slut. I love it. Are you going to play the field? Two boyfriends?”
“He requested it as payment for warping me back here before Luc discovered I was missing.”
“Why do guys think it’s sexy to demand a kiss? Why can’t they get creative like, tell me your favorite meal and then they show up and surprise you with a banana and chocolate syrup sandwich later?”
“What? That doesn’t make any sense. Why would he make me food when I owe him? I can’t believe you still eat those sandwiches.” I shuddered at her food choices. It was maddening that she stayed slim while dumping nothing but junk into her body. If I licked a donut, my ass grew an inch.
“Don’t food shame me,” she said, flicking my forehead. “We need to be serious for a minute. What are you going to do about Luc? Even if he hit you because of the curse, you’re not happy. You can’t date someone forever because you don’t know how to break up with them.”
“Says who? Besides, when have I ever been happy? I thought I was after Carina was born, but when I think about it, I was miserable then, too. I don’t know what my issue is, but maybe I’m not capable of being happy.”
There always seemed to be a reason that happiness eluded me. The kids in school were mean to me. I hated my weight. Boys wo
uldn’t talk to me because I was weird. My parents died, and my daughter was missing. The Osservatori was forcing me to work for them and might kill me. Some of those things were legitimate. Anyone would be miserable if they lost their parents or a child. It went deeper, though. I had a feeling if none of those things had happened to me, I’d still find a reason to wallow in self-pity. Eventually, I needed to figure out why.
When it came to Luc, he was gorgeous. He had made me feel beautiful for the first time in years. The things he did to me in the bedroom were life-altering. I’d never known sex could be that good. Things between us weren’t bad all the time. Jumping into bed with him because I was scared and wanted protection wasn’t the best idea. As a matter of fact, it was stupid, but breaking up with him didn’t seem like the best option, either. Without him, there’d be no one standing between the Osservatori and me.
“Have you heard anything I was just saying?” Nerina asked, leaning in so close our foreheads touched.
“Get out of my face, jerk.”
“I’ll take that as a no. I was saying you need to break up with him. I can help. There are spells we can do that will make him break up with you. If he thinks it was his idea, maybe it’ll be easier.”
A giant thud shook the wall behind us, followed by a series of grunts and ending with another thunk. Nerina and I flew out of bed running to my room. Bob was on the floor in a headlock pinned beneath the body of the guard Kaz had sent over. She was small and lean, but Bob didn’t stand a chance against her.
She looked up, smiling at us with kind eyes. “Good morning. My apologies for disturbing your sleep. Please head back to bed. Everything is under control here. Your prisoner loosened his bindings, but I’ll have him tied back-up momentarily.”
“Nerina, I have made it back,” Vee announced from the hallway. “Why have you let Bob out and why is this woman wrestling him?”
“Long story. Will you start a pot of coffee? We might as well get the spell started because fuck sleep,” I said, trying not to punch Bob just to make myself feel better. Time to go un-curse my stupid boyfriend. We should probably make a memory potion for Bob while we were at it. At some point, we’d have to take him home, but I wasn’t the person in charge, so what did I know?
