Relief spread through him as he realised that earlier inexplicable tug of attraction had been an illusion, born out of a combination of his own weariness and a trick of the late afternoon light. Her features looked almost severe, with her high, sharp cheekbones and her compressed lips and her red hair severely scraped back from her face with the aid of numerous hairpins. She had changed out of the blue gown he had glimpsed beneath her cloak and was now attired in a plain, dull brown gown. This was the woman he had hired. A governess with enough backbone to raise two boys without accepting any nonsense from them.
‘Good evening, my lord. I brought the children down to say goodnight, as you did not have much time with them earlier. I make no doubt you will be happy to see them before they go to bed.’
He detected a note of warning in her tone but, although he would take heed and do nothing to upset the children, Miss Thame need not imagine the children’s presence would do anything other than delay his questioning her over her absence and neglect of duty.
‘I am. Thank you for the thought.’ He advanced into the room. ‘What book are you reading?’
Her smile was cool. ‘The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes by John Newbery. Have you read it?’
He frowned. ‘No.’
‘It was in your library,’ she said. ‘The only children’s book I could find. The boys enjoy it, although I do not believe they fully understand it all.’
‘What is it about?’
She glanced down, and he saw her suck in one cheek before releasing it again as her lips twitched. But when she looked up at him again, that hint of amusement in her expression had smoothed away.
‘It is the story of Margery, a poor orphan who makes a career for herself as a teacher before she marries the local landowner, having won his heart through her honesty, hard work and good sense.’
Her gaze held a hint of challenge, as if daring him to object, and he could hardly fail to see the irony even though there was no chance of fiction turning to real life in their case, despite that ridiculous emotional reaction to seeing her there, on his sofa, with his children surrounding her. Two could play at blanking expressions, however. He’d developed that trick during his diplomatic role in Europe, as well as the ability to understand people beyond what their words might reveal, by observing their unconscious mannerisms and behaviour.
‘I see. It sounds an innocent enough fairy story. Now, Miss Thame, I still wish to speak with you about today. I suggest, therefore, it is time the children went to bed.’
‘Of course.’
Steven clutched Miss Thame’s sleeve and whispered urgently in her ear.
‘I am sure he won’t harm you, Stevie. My lord...is your dog safe?’
‘You cannot think I would bring a dangerous beast into the house where my children live?’
‘I know not what to think, my lord, as I barely know you.’
Dolph narrowed his eyes, suspecting her of insolence, but her open expression and slightly raised eyebrows belied that thought, and when he examined her words, he could not fault them.
‘I am not afraid of it,’ announced Nicholas, with a slightly scornful look at his brother.
Steven leaned across Miss Thame’s lap and punched Nicholas on his arm. ‘Nor am I! Don’t you say I’m scared!’
‘Boys! Enough!’ Miss Thame stopped any further physical contact by the simple expedient of standing up, still holding Matilda, and taking Steven by the arm, obliging him to stand too. She kept her own body between the brothers as Nicholas, too, scrambled off the sofa. ‘What will your father think of such behaviour?’
Dolph hesitated and then knelt down on the Aubusson carpet. Wolf immediately sat on his haunches next to him. ‘Their father thinks they should come here and meet Wolf and then go up to bed.’
He caught Miss Thame’s flash of approval, but he felt absurdly awkward considering they were his own children. He was more nervous facing them than he ever felt while negotiating between high-powered military men and politicians. If only he’d made more effort to spend time with them when they were younger, but it had never occurred to him. During his own childhood, he and his sister had been brought up by servants, his parents remaining remote for much of the time.
Miss Thame urged the boys towards Dolph and Wolf, whose head reached as high as Steven’s waist.
‘Lie down,’ Dolph ordered, and Wolf shuffled his front paws forward. He laid his head on his outstretched legs and sighed.
The boys crept closer. Nicholas appeared the bolder of the two, even though he was the younger. He was the first to touch Wolf’s head, and then he stroked, getting braver as the great dog just lay there and suffered his attention. Steven, after hanging back looking worried, finally followed suit. He then beamed with delight as he patted Wolf. Miss Thame crouched down to show Wolf to Matilda, but Dolph’s daughter was having none of the dog, or of Dolph, as she clung to the governess like a little monkey, hiding her face.
‘She is tired,’ said Miss Thame. ‘She will be better in the morning if you visit the nursery. The boys will be at their lessons, too, if you care to come to the schoolroom?’
‘I shall try,’ said Dolph.
He reached out to stroke Matilda’s soft curls. He ached to hold her in his arms, but he feared making her cry, so he made no attempt to take her from Miss Thame. He stared hungrily at Steven and Nicholas but, as with earlier, he could not quite bring himself to hug them. Partly because he did not want to frighten them but mostly, he realised with a lurch of sudden understanding, because he was afraid of rejection.
But I am their father and they are just children. And so young. It is my responsibility to bridge this divide.
‘Steven? Nicholas? Will you hug your papa goodnight?’
The boys came to him, eyes downcast, and allowed Dolph to enfold their stiff little bodies in his embrace. Dolph closed his eyes, lowering his face to their hair, breathing in their scents as his heart cracked. He had felt it his duty to stay in Europe all these months, but now...oh, how he regretted it. He’d missed over a year of their lives, a year he could never get back. How abandoned they must have felt, so soon after losing their mother. How on earth had he made such a colossal error in judgement in leaving as he did?
Remorse swirled through him and he silently swore he would make it up to his family, whatever it took.
* * *
Leah watched Lord Dolphinstone with Stevie and Nicky, her throat tight with emotion. How many times had she cursed this man for leaving the boys when they were already hurt and bewildered by their mother’s sudden disappearance? Every day of the sixteen months she had lived here at Dolphin Court, that was how many times. Although the other servants had spoken well of His Lordship, Leah’s opinion had been formed by the brusque—albeit handsome—man who had interviewed her. She had been shocked he would leave his sons immediately after their mother’s funeral and disgusted by his prolonged absence, and she’d worked hard to give the boys the love and approval they needed in their lives to try to compensate them for the loss of both their parents.
And yet, seeing him now with his sons, he seemed truly remorseful. She knew from working as a governess in other households how little love many gentlemen showed towards their own children. She did not doubt they loved their children but, somehow, they appeared unable or unwilling to show it. She had been so fortunate with her own papa... She dragged her thoughts from the man she had called Papa. The news was too recent and the emotions it aroused still too agonisingly raw.
She crossed to the door. Cassie, the nursemaid who cared for Tilly, was waiting in the hall to take all three children up to bed—Leah had not wished to further anger His Lordship by taking them upstairs herself while he kicked his heels waiting for her in the drawing room.
It had been a calculated risk, bringing the children down to say goodnight to their father after he had ordered Leah to wait for him in t
he drawing room. She no doubt faced a reprimand for her absence that day, but the boys were already wary of their father. She had noticed Dolphinstone’s discomfort in that short first meeting with his sons, and so she had followed her instinct that the sooner they began to rebuild their relationship, the better.
After Cassie left with the children, Leah remained standing while Dolphinstone paced the room. She had already decided to tell no one about Lady Tregowan’s will and her unexpected inheritance. Not yet. The journey home had given her time to think, and she had not only decided she must, for her own sake, accept this opportunity, but she had also decided to delay leaving Dolphin Court for as long as possible. Partly for selfish reasons—just the thought of leaving the children shredded her heart—but also because the boys were already so unsettled by their father’s imminent return.
And now Dolphinstone was here, and the boys’ reaction to his arrival confirmed she had made the right decision. Both father and children needed time to overcome their understandable awkwardness, and it would surely be easier if they were unaware Leah would be gone before Eastertide.
Her initial reaction that to accept the inheritance would be disloyal to Papa had soon been dismissed by her usual logic. A woman in her circumstances had little choice but to be practical, and she could almost hear Papa’s voice in her head saying, ‘Leah. Will you really cut off your nose to spite your face? Accept this chance to improve your life, and I will be looking down on you and cheering you on.’
Only a fool would reject such a change in fortune, and she was not a fool, but...marriage? Nerves coiled in her stomach. Her parents’ marriage had always been her ideal. She had been wrong to believe it was a love match from the start, but the truth—that it had been arranged, and her parents’ love had developed after they wed—gave her hope that, even if she didn’t marry for love, she might at least meet a decent man she could respect.
And if not, at least she would have somewhere to call home and a guaranteed income of two hundred pounds per annum. No longer would she fear losing her job or falling ill and being unable to work. She might be lonely, of course, but one could also be lonely in the wrong marriage, and she loathed the idea of putting her life in the hands of a man who was only interested in her for her money. If only she could meet a good man, as Mama had done. A man like Papa.
Oh, Papa... The grief she had suffered when he died now reared up to engulf her anew. She had lost him all over again, for he was not her father at all.
‘Miss Thame!’
Lord Dolphinstone’s exasperation dragged Leah from her thoughts. Her cheeks burned as he glared down at her, his dark brows bunched. He was so close she noticed his newly shaved cheeks and the glint of silver hairs at his temples. His close-cropped dark brown hair curled a little at his hairline, softening his male ruggedness, and she once again felt that unwelcome flare of attraction she’d experienced earlier when he had wrenched open the door of the post-chaise and their eyes had met.
His gaze pierced her again now, and she lowered her eyes. ‘My apologies, my lord. I’m afraid I was wool-gathering.’
‘Still dreaming up excuses for your absence?’
Leah stiffened, her emotions on a tight rein as grief over Papa still simmered.
‘I have no need to dream up excuses, my lord. Today is the very first day I have left the boys for more than an hour since you employed me sixteen months ago. Employed me with the promise, might I add, of one day off per month. A day off I have never taken.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Until today.’
‘Until today.’ She dug deep inside herself for a measure of calm. ‘I am sorry I left the children, but they are already familiar with Miss Strong, which is why I asked her to come and look after them, knowing the rest of the staff have been busy preparing for your return. Cassie would have been run ragged had she been required to watch the boys as well as care for Tilly for the entire day.’
‘Tilly? Her name is Matilda.’
Petty...inconsequential...
‘She is a little girl. Let her be Matilda when she grows up. Which she will...faster than you can possibly imagine.’
‘I am aware of it.’
She barely heard his muttered words. Might they signify regret at how much of his children’s lives he had missed? The sigh that sounded next, however, was loud. And still exasperated.
‘Sit down, Miss Thame.’
Leah perched on the sofa, plaited her fingers together on her lap and braced herself for his questions, for the first time realising her plans might be in jeopardy. Her nerves fluttered as she watched Dolphinstone cross to the fireplace and lean down to poke the fire into life.
The decision was in this man’s hands. This stranger’s hands.
Although she had decided to leave, she needed time to grow used to this change in her life. Dolphin Court was her fifth post since she had been forced to earn her own living, and it was the only one where she had felt loved and valued. She liked the rest of the staff, without exception; in Philippa she had a close friend who lived nearby, but, above all, she adored the children and she was not yet ready for the wrench of leaving them. Besides, after all they had suffered, she was determined to help them adjust to their father’s return before she went.
His Lordship threw a log onto the fire and, despite her preoccupation, she was struck by his powerful frame as he filled the shoulders of his coat. His features were somewhat harsh in repose, as though he smiled seldom—frown lines rather than laughter lines were etched into his face—but he’d had little to smile about after losing his wife in such a tragic accident. He sat opposite Leah, on the matching sofa, and leaned back, crossing one leg over the other and folding his arms across his chest. In his evening clothes and meticulously tied neckcloth, he looked every inch the wealthy aristocrat as his penetrating grey gaze raked Leah.
Like my real father: entitled; powerful; privileged.
Leah’s unease faded to be replaced by icy control at the thought of her real father and his despicable actions.
‘Well, Miss Thame? Would you care to enlighten me as to your whereabouts today?’
‘It was a personal matter requiring my presence in Bristol, my lord.’
His brows lowered. ‘And is that your entire explanation?’
What would he do if she told him the truth—that the man she thought to be her father was not? That, technically if not legally, she was illegitimate? That she was some dissolute nobleman’s by-blow? Would he turn her off immediately?
She could not risk it. She would keep her secret for a few weeks, at least, before going to London and getting to know her new half-sisters. Her heart leapt with anticipation. Would Aurelia and Beatrice become friends as well as sisters? Leaving Dolphin Court would be a dreadful wrench, but knowing she was no longer entirely alone in the world, that she now had a family... That thought was a huge comfort, like being wrapped in a warm blanket.
‘Wool-gathering again, Miss Thame?’
Her gaze flew to his and, again, her cheeks heated.
‘This meeting you attended today... Forgive me if I have misread you, but it appears to have left you with a dilemma of sorts.’
She stared at him. ‘What makes you say that?’
His eyebrows flicked high. ‘Reading people is a skill I have developed over many months of complex negotiations in Europe. You are undoubtedly distracted, and it is reasonable to assume your preoccupation stems from your meeting.’
She swallowed. ‘I do not deny there is some truth in both of those statements.’ She would stick as close to the truth as possible. ‘And I have been wondering how much I must reveal, for, as I said, it was a private matter. I received a letter from a firm of solicitors in Bristol requesting I attend a meeting today. I did so and I am sure you will understand my reluctance to reveal the details of that meeting.’
He frowned and she sensed his desire to probe f
urther, so she elaborated, ‘The meeting involved other individuals and therefore I am not at liberty to divulge any further information.’
His jaw bunched, before he said, ‘I do not like secrets, Miss Thame. Do you anticipate further attendance at such meetings?’
‘I do not.’
‘And will any of this affect your employment here?’
‘Not at this present time,’ she said, carefully.
He held her gaze, his own expression revealing nothing. ‘I do not appreciate such a veiled threat hanging over me, Miss Thame.’
‘Threat?’
‘The possibility you may—for whatever reason connected to this clandestine meeting with your solicitor—leave your post here. That is what I am to gather from your answer, is it not?’
Leah considered her clasped hands. ‘Lord Dolphinstone,’ she said when she looked up again. ‘Do you concede my employment in your household is by mutual agreement?’
His brows shot up again, but this time a smile hovered around his mouth. His assessing gaze elicited a strange tingling sensation deep in the pit of her stomach.
‘I cannot deny it.’ His voice deepened and he sounded warmer, somehow. Or, maybe, amused.
‘Then you must also concede that I—or, indeed, you—have the right to terminate my employment whenever we might choose. My comment was not a threat, my lord. It was a simple statement of fact. All I am in a position to say is that I intend to remain in my post in the immediate future. More than that, I am unable to promise.’
Chapter Five
Dolphinstone stood up and strode to the window. As he tweaked the curtains aside and peered out into the darkness, Leah stared at the fire. A log settled into place with a soft sound, followed by the hiss of sap evaporating, and a cold, wet nudge at her hand brought her gaze back into the room. The dog—Wolf—stood by her, looking at her with his yellowish-brown eyes. When he saw he had her attention, he waved his tail and nudged first his broad muzzle and then his domed head under her hand. Remembering his gentleness and patience with the children, Leah stroked his thick, soft, black-tipped, tawny fur in a soothing rhythm. He leaned into her leg, his body solid and warm.
The Rags-to-Riches Governess--A Cinderella Regency Romance Page 4
