‘You should wear vivid colours more often,’ he heard himself say to Leah, his eyes still on the boys. ‘They suit you.’
By his side, he heard Leah’s gasp, quickly stifled. And little wonder—her appearance was far too personal a subject.
‘What I mean is—’ he scrambled to save the situation ‘—there is no need to confine yourself to dull-coloured gowns if you have other garments in your possession. I should not object, and I doubt the boys would even notice.’
‘That would be...inappropriate, I fear, my lord. I should not like to provoke criticism from others within the household or from any in the neighbourhood.’
‘Of course. I understand.’
‘Besides, my usual gowns are more practical for caring for the boys, especially when we are confined to the house and play hide-and-seek. Those secret passages are horridly dusty.’
Dolph was saved from having to say more by the arrival of Stevie and Nicky.
‘Let me help you with your skates, boys,’ Leah said, crouching down. ‘Miss Strong has invited us back to the vicarage for hot soup and sandwiches. It will help us warm up again—Mrs Hubbard might declare the temperature is on the rise, but I cannot say it feels any warmer to me now we have stopped skating.’
The party of five tramped across the village green towards the vicarage as the drizzle turned heavy. The vicarage was warm and cheery, and the Reverend and Mrs Strong were most welcoming. The time passed quickly and, before they realised it, a knock at the door heralded the carriage’s arrival.
Back at Dolphin Court, Leah shepherded the boys upstairs, still avoiding Dolph’s gaze, much as she had both at the vicarage and on the journey home, concentrating on his sons instead. Dolph watched them go, wondering how to deal with the flare of attraction between them.
‘Miss Thame, Dolph?’
He started at George’s quiet question. ‘What about her?’
‘You seem...taken with her. Philippa commented on it as well. It’s the first time I’ve seen a spark of interest in another female since you lost your wife.’
Guilt poked at Dolph’s conscience and he vowed to take more care to keep their relationship professional, most especially when there were others around. He knew he would reap no repercussions should gossip begin to circulate about him and Leah, but her reputation would surely suffer.
‘I confess Miss Thame is growing on me,’ George continued. ‘I have never known a woman I initially dismissed as plain to suddenly appear alluring. When she is animated, she is quite arresting. Most odd.’
Nothing would induce Dolph to admit as much. Her eyes haunted him. Her smile kindled his blood. He’d thought he’d been seized by a peculiar fancy for a woman not his usual type simply because he had not been intimate with a woman for so long. Now...ought he to wonder if there was more to it?
But George’s words did prompt Dolph to retort: ‘George. You are not to flirt with my governess.’
George laughed and held up his hands in surrender. ‘Nothing could be further from my thoughts, Dolph. I should hate to upset your domestic arrangements. Just sayin’, in case you hadn’t noticed. I know what a monk you’ve become since you lost Rebecca.’
‘Well, you and Miss Strong are both mistaken if you imagine my interest in Miss Thame is of a personal nature, George. I admire her ability with the boys. She is good for them, and I appreciate her work. Nothing more.’ Dolph led the way to the drawing room. ‘You know how it is with governesses—they are more than servants and yet not really part of the family. It is a fine line to walk.’
‘Indeed it is. Especially when said governess is from good bloodlines.’
‘George! You make her sound like a racehorse. And marriage to anyone, as I have repeatedly told you, is not on my agenda.’
‘Oh, you know what I mean. Philippa told me about Miss Thame’s family—her father was a vicar; a younger son. And his mother was a Weston—Baverstock’s family, you know.’
The Earl of Baverstock’s country estate was also in Somerset. But Leah’s breeding made no difference. Dolph remained firm in his resolve to never marry again—never to risk driving another woman to suicide. Besides, she was still his governess—he had no wish to invite scandal onto his family name.
‘A bit like Philippa...’ George continued, his expression turning dreamy. ‘Her parents are from excellent families too. Her father told me he is the grandson of Grosdale, and her mother was a Davenport. All good stock. Very respectable.’
His thoughts dragged away from his own difficulties, Dolph stared at his friend and wondered anew at his intentions towards Miss Strong, particularly after having spent time in their company and seeing for himself the ease with which George made himself at home at the vicarage. If he didn’t know George so well, he might well believe he was truly in love this time. But he did know his friend and he had seen all this before. He knew the ease with which his mercurial adoration could shift from one lady to the next.
He changed the subject. ‘Talking of racehorses, that reminds me... Frinton knows of a farmer over towards Hewton whose children have outgrown their ponies. If Mrs Hubbard is right, and the thaw has begun, I shall take Steven and Nicholas to view them one afternoon this week. I’ll see what the weather is like in the morning, and send one of the grooms over with a note if the ground has softened sufficiently. Would you care to accompany us? You can help entertain the boys on the journey.’
‘Delighted, old chap. Will Miss Thame come with us too?’
‘Of course not. Buying horseflesh is a matter for us men. We can look after the boys between us.’
And that will leave Leah free to visit Miss Strong and hopefully confide in her about whatever is causing those sleepless nights.
‘Now.’ He slapped George on the back. ‘Shall we indulge in a glass of brandy?’
‘Yes, let’s.’ George, easily distracted, grinned. ‘I need something to chase the chill out of my bones.’
Leah brought all three children down to say goodnight later, as had become her routine. Dolph always looked forward to this quiet time, and he enjoyed the chance to cuddle the sleepy Matilda, for, during the day, she was too lively to submit to being held for more than a few minutes before wriggling free. As Leah walked through the door, carrying Matilda, he drank in the sight, his heart twitching with sadness that Rebecca was not here to see her children grow, and that Matilda would never know her mother. Her arms were wound around Leah’s neck, and she sleepily fingered a loose tendril of hair. Dolph went to them and held out his arms. For one heart-stopping second, Matilda clung to Leah before allowing the governess to pass her to Dolph, but he noticed, as he sat down, that his daughter’s eyes followed Leah as she ushered the boys towards Dolph.
‘Well, boys.’ He pitched his voice low so as not to rouse Matilda too much. Leah had told him that, often, Matilda was asleep by the time they reached the nursery again. ‘How did you enjoy the ice skating today?’
Steven puffed out his chest. ‘I loved doing it, Papa. I can spin circles.’
‘You were particularly good, Stevie. And you, Nicky...you soon got the hang of it too. Well done.’
Nicky’s eyes brightened at Dolph’s words. ‘I liked it too, Papa. I’ll soon be better than Stevie, won’t I? And I’m already better than Miss Thame.’
Leah smiled, and their eyes met. His heart jolted as a bolt of energy surged through him. He swallowed hard as she wrenched her gaze from his, blushing.
‘Well, I am not sure about that, Nicky,’ he said, willing his voice to remain even. ‘Stevie seems to have a talent for skating, so, although you might be as good, you may never overtake him, but that is all right, for you have other talents, do you not?’
‘I can climb higher than him.’
Dolph had watched from the window one day, his heart in his mouth as his sons both climbed the same old elm he had used to climb as a boy. Nicky had sc
rambled up, as agile as a monkey, while Stevie had been far more cautious and clearly did not enjoy the experience.
‘That is true. And I have good news. The thaw appears to have set in, so, either tomorrow or the next day, we shall go to view those ponies Frinton told us about. What do you think of that?’
‘Hurrah!’
Both boys shouted simultaneously, and Nicky jumped up and down, waving his arms, while Stevie grabbed Leah’s hand, shaking it while grinning up at her. Their sister stiffened in Dolph’s arms. Her face screwed up and, as she let out a wail, Leah sent him a fulminating glare, and Dolph sent her an apologetic look in reply, knowing she disliked the boys getting too excited at this time.
‘Quiet, boys.’ Dolph tightened his arms around Matilda, cuddling her into his chest. ‘Hush, Tilly,’ he whispered, and feathered his lips across her soft forehead.
Leah had grabbed hold of Nicky to restrain him and put her other arm around Stevie.
‘That will give you both something to look forward to,’ she said calmly. ‘Now, it is time for bed, children.’
She walked towards Dolph, who stood up and handed Tilly to her. Their hands touched in the exchange, sending sparks sizzling through his veins. How did she have this effect on him? Her eyes remained downcast, but he was almost certain she experienced that same ripple of excitement. He bid the children goodnight and watched as they all left the drawing room, his stomach stirring uneasily as he wondered where this inexplicable attraction between him and Leah might end.
* * *
During dinner that evening, Leah appeared subdued, but George was as talkative as ever and appeared not to notice her mood. Dolph buried all his uncertainty beneath a light veneer of conversation, and the meal passed quickly.
‘I shall go and practise on the pianoforte, if you gentlemen will excuse me,’ Leah said when they finished eating.
The two men stood as she left the room, and they settled down to a glass of port. To Dolph’s relief, George did not return to his earlier teasing about Leah and, instead, the conversation veered onto their experiences of estate management and tenant farmers, with the distant piano music providing a pleasant background. Before long, they joined Leah in the drawing room, where Wolf sprawled in front of the fire. She glanced up as they entered, a smile in her eyes, her pleasure in the music plain to see. A feeling of calm settled over Dolph as he sat down, leaning back and closing his eyes to listen. But when the piece ended, George’s voice interrupted his reverie.
‘My apologies to you both.’ Dolph’s eyes opened. George had remained standing. ‘I am very tired and ready for my bed.’ He nodded to Dolph and bowed to Leah. ‘Beautiful piece, Miss Thame. Was that Mozart?’
‘It was.’
‘Good old Wolfgang, eh?’
At the sound of his name, the dog opened one eye and gently thumped his tail.
‘Goodnight, then, Dolph; Miss Thame. I shall see you in the morning.’
As they both bid George goodnight, Dolph silenced the inner warning voice demanding he follow suit. With a full belly and after a couple of glasses of both wine and port, he felt relaxed and mellow but not yet ready to sleep. He watched from under heavy lids as Leah rose to her feet.
‘Do not retire just yet,’ he said. ‘Come. Sit down a moment so we may talk.’
A frown twitched between her brows, but she did as he asked.
Chapter Fourteen
Leah knew she ought to follow Hinckley out of the drawing room, despite Dolph’s request she remain, especially now she was aware of the risk of their being alone together. Until that moment on the ice, she had persuaded herself that—no matter her own blossoming feelings—Dolph would make certain there was no repeat of their kiss from three nights ago. But his desire for her had been obvious and her own physical response to lying full length on him had been...troubling. A prudent woman would leave, but she was clearly imprudent because, heaven help her, she wanted to kiss him again.
She chose the sofa opposite the chair upon which Dolph sat. She smoothed the skirt of her gown as she sat and then folded her hands in her lap.
‘I wish to speak to you about our plans for tomorrow,’ he said. ‘It would appear Mrs Hubbard was correct—I spoke to Frinton after the boys went to bed, and the ground has already begun to thaw. As long as it does not freeze again tonight, I shall send a note to Hewton in the morning to tell them to expect us in the afternoon. And, Leah...please take the opportunity to call upon Miss Strong tomorrow, as we discussed before.’
‘Thank you.’ She was grateful for his discretion, and that she did not have to deny, yet again, that she was troubled. ‘And I also intend to set my mind at rest by warning Philippa not to take Lord Hinckley too seriously, even though I know she is far from naïve and he is not the wicked sort who would ravish an innocent and desert her.’
Unlike my real father.
That thought made her feel physically sick, and she diverted her gaze to stare into the dancing orange, yellow and blue of the flames rather than risk Dolph reading her sudden distress.
Although Tregowan did, at least, arrange matches for his three victims.
Why, though, did Mama, and the mothers of both Aurelia and Beatrice, succumb to Lord Tregowan? They would all three have known he was a married man, and yet... The nausea rose to choke her. The only conclusion she could draw was that either her mother had lacked morals, or her natural father had, somehow, forced her mother to...
She clenched her jaw and swallowed desperately.
Was this yearning for Dolph somehow in her blood? Did she take after her mother? No, she could not believe that of her mama—perhaps it was Lord Tregowan’s bad blood? After all, he had ruined three young girls’ lives... She thrust down any further conjecture, afraid of where it might lead. She had enough to worry about in the here and now, for the time had come when she must ask Philippa to step in and look after the boys until Dolph found a replacement governess. After tomorrow, she would have no more excuse to cling on to her life at Dolphin Court. Her heart felt as though it were being ripped to shreds, but that only confirmed this was the right thing to do. She had lingered here too long.
‘Is that what happened to you?’
Leah started at that quiet question, rattled that she had retreated into her own thoughts so completely in his presence.
‘You were lost in thought again,’ he said. ‘As though your words triggered a memory.’ He leaned towards her, his grey gaze intense. ‘The other night...the night we kissed... At the time, it seemed as though maybe it had resurrected an unhappy memory. Forgive me for asking, but did someone in the past...a man...take advantage of you? Let you down? Desert you?’
Her heart leapt into her throat that he had guessed so much, but she bristled at the idea he might view her as a victim.
‘Not in that way,’ she said. ‘Please do not allow that one kiss to give you the wrong impression of me—I am not a loose woman.’
He reared back, his eyes hurt. ‘I did not intend to imply it. My apologies. There are multiple ways in which one person can let down another.’ A muscle bunched in his jaw, and he rubbed his hand over it, as if to soothe the tension. ‘So many ways.’
Those last three words, spoken so softly, and his suddenly bleak expression prompted Leah’s curiosity, but how could she phrase the question she now burned to ask? It seemed too personal for a governess to ask her employer. But...she would soon leave Dolphin Court, and that knowledge encouraged her to speak more boldly than she might otherwise.
‘You have been let down in the past?’
His laugh was cynical. ‘No. It is I who have been guilty of failing those I love. Those whose welfare should have been my only concern.’
‘The children?’
‘Not only the children.’ He surged to his feet then, his cheeks flushing. ‘I beg your pardon. I should not be talking to you about such things.’
‘And yet...’ Leah paused.
He stared at her for long, silent seconds. Then he raised one eyebrow.
‘And yet...?’
‘Please sit down again.’ Leah indicated his chair. ‘I find it somewhat intimidating with you looming over me like that.’
He did so, his brows beetled together as he stared into the flames. The firelight warmed his ruggedly handsome face but also highlighted the signs of strain around his eyes, and the harsh lines bracketing his mouth, and she realised how effectively he normally hid the strain he was clearly under. The only hint until tonight had been his involuntary glance at the cliffs, that first day at Dolphin Bay, and that moment today, on the ice, when the memories seemed to lure him into the past.
‘I have no wish to pry, nor to anger you, but as you once advised me to confide in a friend if I was troubled, I feel emboldened to offer that advice back to you. Could you not talk about your feelings to Lord Hinckley?’
He barked a laugh. ‘You know little about men, Miss Thame. That is clear. Men,’ he added, ‘do not discuss their feelings.’
It was Leah’s turn to raise an eyebrow, despite the accuracy of his first remark. She focussed on the second. ‘Because they have far more important matters demanding their attention?’
‘Oh, indeed.’ His eyes glinted with amusement...and a hint of admiration.
Her stomach swooped as she took in his rugged good looks—his square jaw, broad shoulders and chest, and strong thighs. That pull of attraction grew ever stronger. How could she not be enticed? He was so big; so masculine; so very, very male.
‘You speak as though you feel guilt over the past but, surely, burying feelings...not bringing them into the open...surely that can lead to consequences that might otherwise be avoided?’
Papa—the father who had raised her—had speculated that suppressing worries and feelings could result in mental disorders, an observation born out of years of tending to his parishioners. Dolph’s skin had now leached of colour. His grey eyes were stricken, and Leah’s heart went out to him.
The Rags-to-Riches Governess--A Cinderella Regency Romance Page 13
