‘But we will be caught, by our own admission.’
‘And your mothers’ reputations will be picked over and some will visit your mother’s sin upon you. But it truly makes no difference to me. Now...tell me about your new sister. What is she like? Does she look like you or more like Miss Croome?’
‘She resembles Aurelia, but she is a gentler soul. Aurelia is a little...prickly...at times.’
‘Really? I cannot say I noticed.’
Leah’s eyes crinkled in amusement. ‘Aurelia may be fierce but she has a good heart.’
‘I shall take your word for it.’ Dolph’s pulse picked up speed and his mouth dried. The time had come... He could put it off no longer. ‘Leah... I still have my own confession to make.’
She shifted so she was half facing him, her face serious. ‘I am listening.’
‘You know of my vow to never marry again.’
‘I do.’
‘I allowed you... George...everyone...to believe it was because my love for Rebecca was too strong to be replaced. That was never the reason. The shameful truth is that I did not love Rebecca. At least, not enough. Ours was an arranged marriage—I was fond of her, and we were not unhappy.’ He stared at his hands, gripped together on his lap. ‘I believed that, at least. After she died, however, I discovered exactly how unhappy she had been.’ He raised his eyes, forcing himself to meet Leah’s gaze. ‘My neglect of Rebecca—my selfish complacency—caused her death.’
Leah frowned. ‘But...her death was an accident. Are you telling me you were there when she died?’
‘No. But if I had been there...maybe it would not have happened. Leah, what I am about to tell you is known to nobody else. Rebecca killed herself.’
Chapter Twenty-Five
‘She...? Oh, no. Poor, poor lady.’ As her initial shock subsided, Leah’s voice lowered. ‘And poor you. What a dreadful thing to happen, and how hard it must have been to keep it to yourself.’
He searched her face, his brow wrinkled. ‘You immediately express sympathy with no sense of shock when many would condemn her for committing a mortal sin. And you a vicar’s daughter, too.’
‘Papa—’ again, she felt that dull ache when she spoke of him ‘—was the least judgemental man I have ever known. He understood that, at times, life becomes too hard to bear and, if a person is determined, there is little to stop them, short of locking them away for their own protection.’
Dolph bent his head, clenched fists pressed to his eyes. His back heaved. Leah laid her hand on his back, circling gently...soothing the only way she could, for she doubted she could conjure any words that might comfort him. But she could listen, and help him deal with the grief revived by speaking of what happened.
‘I feel so guilty.’ He mumbled slightly, his hands still covering his face. ‘I should have noticed her mind was so disturbed, but I thought she was still recovering from Matilda’s birth. I thought nothing more of it, other than trying to jolly her out of it. I had no idea...but that is no excuse! I should have known...should have realised. I should have stopped her.’
Leah’s thoughts ranged into the past, to the years after Mama’s death, and to the times when Papa would return from visiting parishioners in need of spiritual guidance. At times, he would unburden some of the weight of his own inadequacies, talking to Leah as though she were another adult instead of a girl.
‘It might comfort you to know Papa had a theory that some mothers suffer greatly after childbirth.’ She blushed at speaking boldly of such a subject to a man, but the urge to ease Dolph’s distress outweighed her embarrassment. ‘Papa noticed it in several new mothers, and he became convinced it was a biological occurrence. He told me he had seen too many suffer from abnormally low moods, and that status made no difference. A duchess was as likely as a peasant to succumb to that depressed state of nerves. For some it lasted but a few days and was quickly shrugged off. For others, though...’ She paused, thinking back, picking her words carefully. ‘He heard of young mothers who were committed to mental asylums for their own safety, and also of others who successfully hid the extent of their distress from their families. Sometimes for years.’
‘I never made the connection before, but Rebecca’s mood was also low for a month or so after both boys were born. And your father noticed the phenomenon several times, you say?’
‘Yes. Papa felt keenly for all those poor souls—not only new mothers—who suffered and did his best to counsel them. Occasionally, though, there would be a person who could see no release other than to take that final, drastic step.’
Leah became aware Dolph was looking at her, hope in his eyes.
‘Anyone’s death by their own hand is hard to bear,’ she said, ‘but it must be particularly so when it is the mother of your children.’
‘I longed to understand. She left a letter, but it did not explain why. That is what I found so difficult, and I felt so guilty that I let the children down by not realising how unhappy Rebecca had been. I swore to myself I would not put another woman through what she went through because I believed it was my neglect—my preoccupation with politics and government—that had made her so very unhappy. I returned to Dolphin Court determined to make it up to the children for losing their mother, and for my abandonment at the very time they needed me. I told myself my needs were unimportant...that I did not deserve happiness. I would get my satisfaction from making my children happy and running the estate.’
He sighed and gathered Leah’s hands in his. ‘I had no contingency plan for meeting a woman like you.’
‘A contingency plan?’
He winced. ‘That’s not very romantic, is it? But it’s the truth. You shattered my carefully constructed idea of what my life should be. Leah...my darling...’
Dolph hauled in a deep breath and leapt to his feet, tugging Leah upright to face him. The words burst from him.
‘Dolphin Court is not the same without you. Our family is not the same without you. I know I am asking a great deal when you are the toast of Society but, please...come home with me. Tomorrow! Be my wife. I promise I’ll make you happy. I’ll get a licence. We can be married right away, here in London. Or we can wait until we get home if you prefer. All I know is that I cannot wait to take you home where you belong. I love you. I should have told you that the first time I proposed, but I made the most spectacular mull of it, didn’t I?’ He dragged in a fractured breath. ‘Tell me I’m not too late.’ Agony and hope warred in his expression. ‘Please tell me you will trust me to make you happy.’
Leah gazed into his stricken eyes, and she dared to believe there could be a happy ending for them after all.
‘Of course I trust you.’ She caressed his cheek, marvelling that she could touch him whenever she wanted to from now on. ‘And I know we will be happy.’ Any doubts had evaporated and those painful experiences with Peter and Usk were now just distant memories. ‘But... I did not tell you about the conditions attached to my inheritance, one of which is that all three of us must reside in London for the entirety of the Season and remain under Mrs Butterby’s chaperonage until we marry. I did not think to ask if that condition means I must stay in London even if I do marry.’
‘What happens if it does mean that and you do not stay in London?’
‘I forfeit my share of the inheritance.’
Dolph frowned. ‘What would then happen to your share?’
‘It would be divided between Aurelia and Beatrice and, other than an annual allowance of two hundred pounds, I would lose everything.’
A smile spread across his features. He grabbed her hands and cradled them to his heart. ‘You will not lose me, sweetheart. You will not lose the children. Marry me. Come home to Dolphin Court and allow your sisters to take your share. You will still have them, too. I don’t care about the money. We won’t need it. I will settle a sum on you so you are protected should anything happen to me.
I just want you, and for us to go home together.
‘Please, Leah. Say yes. Say you will marry me.’
‘Oh, yes, my darling.’ Leah pulled her hands free to cradle his face, and she kissed him thoroughly, joy cascading through her. ‘Yes. Yes. Yes,’ she whispered against his lips.
Then she pulled back. She had just found her sisters. She loved Dolph, so very much. But...
‘What is it? What is wrong?’
‘Oh, Dolph! I cannot leave. Not yet.’
She braced herself for a tirade of words aimed at persuading her she was wrong.
‘Tell me why.’
And there, she realised, was another reason she loved him. He would listen to her doubts and not dismiss them because they did not suit him.
‘It is Aurelia and Beatrice. We are still strangers—especially Beatrice—and I desperately want to get to know them better.’
‘They can come and stay with us at Dolphin Court. Any time.’
She sighed. ‘But...they might need me. Here. In London. Dolph... I did not tell you of the other conditions in the will.’
Dolph sat on the sofa and tugged her down next to him. ‘Tell me now.’
‘The most important one is that each of us must marry within a year if we wish to keep our inheritance. I... I am sorry, but I cannot abandon my sisters when they have such momentous decisions to make. I really do need to stay.’ She searched his eyes.
‘Then stay we shall. All of us, the children too. My town house is in South Audley Street, just a five-minute walk from here.’ He hugged Leah to him and then kissed her. Very thoroughly. ‘We can marry, and you will still be here for your sisters. In fact, you will be in a better position to help them as Lady Dolphinstone.
‘Now...enough talk, and kiss me again, my beautiful bride-to-be.’
A shiver of delight ran through Leah at his words. She had never considered herself beautiful, but Dolph thought her so, and his opinion was all that mattered to her. She surrendered to the magic of his lips, pressing close to his firm body, barely believing her good fortune. This man, whom she loved so very deeply, loved her in return, and she could not wait until they were man and wife. As their tongues entwined, however, a thought penetrated the sensual haze surrounding her. She eased her lips from his, ignoring his protesting groan.
‘Can we tell the children? Today?’
Dolph’s chest vibrated as he laughed, a delicious, deep rumble of a laugh. He pressed his lips to her hair.
‘Yes, we can tell the children. We will go now. I insist upon it.’ He leapt to his feet and pulled her up. ‘In fact, we will tell the whole world, for only then will I fully believe this is real and not a fantasy conjured up by my mind to taunt me.
‘I want the entire world to know how much I love you, my beautiful, kind and clever Leah. And the sooner, the better.’
Two days later
Glorious anticipation flooded Leah as she and Dolph climbed the stairs of his town house hand in hand.
It had been a perfect day, beginning with their wedding ceremony at St George’s, Hanover Square. The children had been on their best behaviour while their father had exchanged vows with their former governess, whose new half-sisters and erstwhile chaperone had shed a tear or two. The wedding breakfast had been a celebration of their union and an opportunity for the two newly merged families to get to know one another better after two days spent on feverish wedding preparations.
Leah recalled, with a happy glow, the children’s excitement when they were told she was to be their new mama. Stevie and Nicky had understood straight away and had flung themselves at her, jabbering nineteen to the dozen. And Tilly—although it was clear she didn’t really understand—had been determined not to miss out and had squirmed her way into the middle of that group hug. Aurelia and Beatrice had been just as happy and excited for her, as had Mrs Butterby, and Leah prayed they, too, would marry the men of their dreams, just as she had.
After the wedding breakfast, a walk in Hyde Park for the entire clan had ended a memorable day in style. Now, finally, the newly-weds were alone.
Leah walked ahead of her new husband into his bedchamber and turned to him as he closed the door. He opened his arms, and she stepped into his embrace. He heaved a sigh.
‘Happy?’ she asked, although she knew the answer from the big smile that had adorned his face for most of the day.
‘You do not know how happy, my darling.’ He kissed the tip of her nose before leaning away to study her. ‘Have I told you today how stunning you look?’
‘Oh...’ She gave him a playful smile, and her pulse quickened as his gaze dropped to her mouth. ‘Once, maybe...or, maybe, a thousand times.’
She tiptoed up and kissed him, rousing a hunger within her shocking in its intensity. She’d yearned for this moment for so long, and the taste of him...the thrust of his tongue...the feel of his arousal trapped between them sent shock waves through her entire body. She ached for him...craving the moment their bodies were joined as their hands and their hearts had earlier been joined in church.
Dolph trailed open-mouthed kisses across her jaw and neck as his fingers thrust into her hair. Before long, it tumbled over her shoulders and down her back, and he lifted a handful to his face, breathing in deeply.
‘So beautiful. You smell divine,’ he whispered, as he gently turned her, his fingers getting to work on the buttons down the back of her gown.
The gown slid from her shoulders, and gooseflesh rippled across her back as he untied the ribbon that held Mama’s ring and kissed her nape.
‘Have I ever told you I adore your freckles?’
His fingertips danced across her shoulders before his tongue traced a path from nape to shoulder as he unlaced her. She caught her breath as her corset fell away, her heart pounding in her chest. She turned to him, clad only in her shift, and searched his grey eyes.
‘Leah?’ His hands skimmed up her arms.
‘Dolph?’ she murmured, before allowing her lips to curve in a knowing smile. She reached for the buttons of his waistcoat.
Dolph’s head tipped back, and he closed his eyes, his breathing harsh as she pushed his coat and waistcoat from his shoulders and unwound his neckcloth, exposing the strong column of his throat. She pressed her lips to his warm skin, breathing in his beloved scent as her fingers played among the curls of chest hair visible in the open neck of his shirt.
Dolph groaned, muttered something unintelligible, stepped back, and in one swift movement, he ripped his shirt over his head, flinging it aside before kicking off his shoes and reaching for his trouser buttons. Leah stepped back, her eyes raking his chest and lingering over the bulge in his trousers. Deliberately, she licked her lips.
Dolph paused. His eyes narrowed. ‘You minx,’ he growled.
Leah held his gaze and gave him a teasing smile as she gathered her shift, raising it. His chest heaved and another groan, tormented, shuddered from him. She stripped her shift over her head and felt her hair spill across her bare shoulders and breasts, and she stood naked beneath his gaze as he appraised her body. She felt no embarrassment; rather, she felt confident and powerful as never before at the effect she had on this magnificently virile man.
And he is mine. All mine.
She could feel the heat radiating from his body and his intoxicating musky scent filled her. Her body felt heavy and warm; her skin tingled; her breasts ached; and that wonderful and irresistible physical yearning filled her, urging her to act.
But she stayed still. Waiting. Until Dolph raised his eyes to hers. Their gazes locked, and something intense flared in his eyes and she felt her own involuntary response. In one swift movement, they came together, lips meeting and tongues tangling with a savage intensity that stole her breath. His trousers were discarded. He guided her hand to him, and she gasped into his mouth as her fingers wrapped around his hot, silken, solid length.
Dolph’s entire body stilled, and then his head dipped. She gasped again as his mouth closed around her aching nipple. Fiery darts of need radiated through her and she felt that same tiny pleasurable pulse beat within the sensitive flesh between her thighs.
Too soon, Dolph raised his head.
‘Now, my dazzling Countess,’ he growled. He nipped her earlobe. Then he backed her towards the bed. ‘Allow me to prove to you how much you mean to me.’
* * *
Later, as Leah—sated and complete—lay in her husband’s arms, sprawled across his muscled, hair-roughened chest, Dolph heaved a sigh sounding of pure contentment. Leah raised her head and studied him sleepily.
‘I love you, Lord Dolphinstone,’ she said, simply.
He met her eyes and smiled lovingly before framing her face with gentle hands and kissing her—a slow, sweet, savouring kiss. She felt him slowly grow hard against her thigh.
‘I love you too, my Lady Dolphinstone,’ he whispered against her lips. ‘So very, very much.’
She had nearly lost him—afraid to believe hope might ultimately triumph over experience. But it had, and now she meant to savour every minute of every day—and every night—of their life together.
Her hand stroked down his magnificent body and closed around his solid erection.
‘Do you care to prove again how much I mean to you, my lord?’
In one swift movement, he flipped her over onto her back, pinning her to the mattress as he settled himself between her thighs. She relished the weight of him, her entire being throbbing with anticipation.
‘You mean the world to me,’ he avowed as he filled her. ‘And I will never stop proving it to you.’
* * *
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