by Dannika Dark
Izzy snatched my wrist and gave him a flat smile. “Girl time,” she said to Wheeler. “Ivy, I need to ask you something about the rocking chair I want for the baby.”
We went into the small room that April often used to read, adjacent to the living room.
Izzy closed the door, and her voice fell to a whisper as she gripped my arm. “When are you going to tell them?”
“Tell them what?”
Her eyes widened, and she placed her palm on my stomach. “About the baby.”
I quietly gasped and drew back. How did she know? I knew because I’d had a child once before, and a woman never forgets the feeling of early motherhood. It had begun a week ago. While I’d been blessed with an unexpected gift, I feared what the pack’s stance would be. All those old memories of my first pregnancy resurfaced—locked away like a shameful secret and the harsh looks from my father. What would Austin think? Not just one, but two children, each with different fathers.
“Please don’t speak of this, Izzy. I haven’t decided how to tell everyone.”
She flipped back her red hair and put her hands on her hips. “You march in there and say you’re pregnant, that’s what you do. Hell’s bells, Ivy. You can’t keep this to yourself for long. I noticed little signs that tipped me off, but it won’t take long before the male wolves are able to scent it and their animals start having instincts to shift and protect you. Then they’re going to question why the hell their wolves are acting so funny every time you walk into a room. Oh, wowzer. Was this by choice?”
Keeping my voice to a low whisper, I leaned on my right shoulder. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Izzy. Neither time was I in heat, and you know how rare that is.”
She blew out a breath and rubbed her shoulders, which were beginning to hunch. “What do you plan to do with it?”
“Keep it, of course! This baby was meant for me, and I’m not letting him or her go. But how will Austin take the news? I know you didn’t grow up in a pack, but this is a serious matter, Izzy. It puts too much negative perception on the Packmaster, and it’s not his fault. He has nothing to do with it, but he’ll be the one to carry that burden and any ridicule that comes from his peers.”
“Austin’s a good man, and he’ll stand behind you.”
I touched the end of my braid and looked down. “Maybe it’s better if I go.”
“On your own? You can’t be a lone wolf with a baby.”
I placed my hands over my stomach. “I just wish I could have one pregnancy that was joyous. You don’t know how much I envy what you and Jericho have—the way he loves the life growing inside you and the way others treat you. I’ve never had that luxury.”
She rubbed my arm consolingly. “I’m so sorry, Ivy. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you. Did you tell Lorenzo?”
“No,” I whispered harshly. “He would never want this child. I haven’t heard from him since he dropped me off two weeks ago, and that speaks volumes as to how he really feels. I don’t hate him for it. I…”
Izzy brushed a loose strand of hair away from my face. “You love him, don’t you?”
Just hearing the words on her tongue made my heart leap and ache all at once. I’d never felt more connected to a man than I did to Lorenzo, as if an invisible thread had untangled from his soul and stitched itself to mine. Somehow it made me feel weak and doubtful, and I began comparing myself to others. I needed to stamp out that foolish voice in my head; I had a new life growing inside me, and this child didn’t deserve a weak mother.
“I love him enough that it hurts to let go of the possibility of what I want to happen between us. Lorenzo Church is not a man who gives his heart to anyone. I know he has one because I’ve seen it. Maybe he’s afraid if it breaks, it’ll somehow mean he’s a lesser man. No woman deserves to have a man love her only halfway.”
“You have to tell everyone, Ivy. I’m too excited for you, and I don’t think I’ll be able to keep it a secret. You’re having a baby!”
She hugged me tight, and for the first time, excitement rushed through me. I suddenly wanted to dance through the house and be just as open as Izzy was about her pregnancy.
I held her at arm’s length. “You’re right. I don’t want this baby to ever think that I was ashamed of him coming into this world.”
“Now?” she said, as if startled by my sudden change of heart. “Maybe we should do this at dinner when we’re all at the table. Not everyone is here, and Reno probably took off already with April.”
“Then they’ll hear the wonderful news later. I need to know where they stand so I can make plans.”
She swallowed me up with her green eyes, fidgeting with the diamond ring on her finger. “Are you sure about this?”
I gripped the doorknob and swung the door open. “I need everyone in the living room,” I announced in a clear voice.
William stood up and looked at me with concern. He had gentle eyes, and the girls in the house loved his large curls of dark hair. William was handsome, and Lexi had even suggested I should consider getting closer to him.
April trotted downstairs with her oversized brown purse slung over her shoulder. Reno handed her a light jacket and then turned his attention back to me.
“What’s going on?” Austin said, coming into the room from the kitchen. He was holding a half-eaten green apple in his hand.
The wood floor creaked beneath my foot, and I took a breath before lifting my chin high. “I’m going to have a baby.”
“And boom goes the dynamite.” Wheeler sat on the back of the sofa, arms folded.
I leaned on the windowsill and faced everyone in the room. Trevor still had the front door halfway open on my left, holding on to the knob with his outstretched hand, a bemused expression on his face.
“Are you serious?” Lexi asked, gripping the ends of her hair. “No joke?”
“The baby is why I’ve turned down a couple of jobs. It’s early in my pregnancy, and I can still shift if I have to, but you know how dangerous it is, especially the further along I get. I don’t want to inhale any chemicals that might hurt my baby.”
Maizy peered up with mild concern and went back to coloring. She seemed more interested in everyone else’s reaction than the news.
My eyes settled on Austin. “I know this is sudden, and it wasn’t planned. I need to know how you feel about it. This is a second chance for me, and I’m keeping him, so that means you need to make a choice about whether or not you still want me living under your roof. I realize how local Packmasters are going to talk, and I don’t want to do anything that affects your standing with them. But I won’t let this baby grow up being treated differently, so if you’re uncertain, then tell me now.”
“Do you want to leave?” he asked.
“Austin!” Lexi piped in. “No pack would take in an unmated woman with a child. They’re all a bunch of pigs. You can’t throw her out. She’ll be all alone.”
“I’m not throwing her out, Ladybug. But this isn’t all up to me. Ivy, how do you feel about raising your child in this house? I can’t break apart my pack to appease one person, so if anyone here doesn’t like it, that’s not grounds enough to kick them out. Mistreatment is, but their opinions are something I have no control over. Never have.”
The next thing I knew, William had taken a position beside me. It was a subtle and quiet show of support. He folded his hands in front of his belt and allowed his gaze to travel to each member of the pack. Something I’d learned about William was that he knew how to herd a pack. Intelligent men didn’t have to shout or argue their position; they used psychology as a means to sway opinion within the house. Whether it was in his words or body language, I knew William would make a great addition to this family.
“You’ve been like family to me,” I said, looking around the room at everyone. “I can’t imagine finding that anywhere else. Only love could draw me away from this home, and that’s not in the cards. I would rather my child grow up in a pack so he knows the unity th
at can bring to a family. I have no authority in this house to earn the kind of respect that’s given automatically because of rank. You might not agree with Lexi’s decisions, for example, but you won’t say anything to her about it because she’s mated to the Packmaster. It’s not the same in my position, so I need your support. I don’t want to leave, but I’ll do whatever is best for this baby.”
“Indeed,” William said in agreement.
Austin stuffed his left hand in his jeans pocket and jingled change while he took another bite of his apple. “I got no problems with it. Anyone else?”
“Who’s the baby daddy?” Denver blurted out from where he stood by the TV.
“Don’t be an ass,” Izzy said, shoving at his chest.
“I don’t think it’s a secret who the father is,” I said. “But I haven’t told him, and now that I think about it, I’d rather he not find out through one of you. Let’s keep this private until I pass along the word.”
“Pass along?” Wheeler said with an arch of his brow. “By way of Pony Express or Morse code?”
“What is wrong with you people?” Izzy said in an exasperated voice, raising her hands up. “This woman just told you she’s having a baby, and you guys are cracking dumb jokes! A precious life is coming into this world—into this house—and nobody is shouting and dancing for joy.”
Jericho suppressed a grin with a swipe of his hand and then reached for her. “Baby, your hormones are talking for you again.”
“Don’t you baby me, Sexton Cole. This has nothing to do with hormones!”
Everyone chuckled and she angrily folded her arms over her round belly.
“It’s okay, Izzy,” I said with a somber smile. “This wasn’t planned, so I didn’t expect banners and cakes.”
“Let’s have a cake!” Maizy said, sitting up and joining in on the conversation. “Can we have a carrot cake? I’ll go with you to get it.”
Everyone watched Maizy run to the closet by the door and pull out her jacket.
Austin stepped forward. “It’s entirely up to you, Ivy. But you’ll always have a place in my pack. I’ll stand by your decisions and we’ll work out something so your baby has a watchdog to look after him.”
“Or her,” Izzy added.
“Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop,” Maizy sang out.
“Peanut, shut the door,” Denver said. “You’ll catch a cold.”
“But there’s a horse,” she said excitedly, pointing out the door.
Trevor peered over her. “She’s right. Lorenzo just pulled up.”
“And the plot thickens,” Wheeler said darkly, moving toward the door.
“What’s going on?” Izzy said in a low voice as we trickled onto the front porch.
Maizy started to run down the steps until Denver snatched her hand and pulled her back. “Stay up here.”
“But I want to pet it. Can I? Just one time. Please?”
The group meandered down the porch to the right. When they moved out of my way, my breath caught.
A blanket of heavy fog surrounded the property—a contrast against the lush grass, which was still green.
Lorenzo Church rode up on a majestic blue roan. It was a stout horse with the blackest mane and tail I’d ever seen. Black freckles spattered his grey coat, and the silver sheen on his body caught the light. His dark legs were restless, moving back and forth as Lorenzo sat astride him bareback.
I swallowed nervously and set my cane against the railing so I wouldn’t get mud on the end from the damp grass. I descended the steps, and the whispers among my pack faded as I slowly approached Lorenzo, unsure of what to think.
Without a word, I placed my hand on the horse’s muzzle and looked him in the eye. “You’re handsome,” I said, planting a kiss on his nose.
Lorenzo swung his leg over the back and landed on his feet. “I should say the same of you, sweet Ivy.”
My heart squeezed in my chest. Was this a dream? Maybe I’d fallen asleep and was caught in a mystical realm.
Lorenzo held out his hand. “Come with me and let’s walk away from curious eyes. I feel like an ant beneath a magnifying glass.”
I smiled and bumped his arm with my shoulder. “That sounds like a familiar line I’ve heard before.” The grass crunched beneath our feet and I could see it was slowly losing its color from the cold weather we’d been getting.
“How have you been?” he asked quietly.
“Well. And you?”
“Hmm. Not so well.”
The horse followed behind us, drawing in heavy breaths.
“What’s his name?” I asked.
Lorenzo glanced over his shoulder with a cold stare. “Trouble. Let’s just say it was a long ride over.”
I giggled and gripped his hand tighter. It felt so good to have him walking beside me. “I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing.”
Once we had distanced ourselves farther from the house, Lorenzo turned to face me. “I don’t know how to talk to you,” he said, stumbling over his words. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, you’ve never had trouble speaking your mind before.”
“Yes, and they’ve always been the wrong words in your eyes.”
“But they’re your words, and those are the only words I want to hear. No matter how brash or crude, at least I know they’re honest.”
He shifted from one leg to the other. “If I say the wrong thing, it could change the way you feel about me.”
A smile touched my lips. “Yes, it could. Maybe the wrong thing is the right thing to say.”
He shook his head. “I’ve never met a woman quite like you. I’m not a soft man, Ivy. I can’t change who I am to become one of them,” he said, throwing a nod toward the house.
I almost snorted. Did he think I wanted a man like Denver or even Jericho?
“Did I ask for a soft man?” I reached out and touched his wrist, taking his hand in mine. “I want an honest man. A faithful man. A protective man—one who stands up for me and isn’t ashamed of my past or who I am. A man who can make sound decisions, but also a man who will listen to reason.”
“And what of a loving man?”
I let go and pushed the horse’s muzzle away. “Perhaps I’m not a woman who was fashioned to be loved.”
His hands appeared out of nowhere and cupped my cheeks, offering the warmth from his body as he moved closer. Lorenzo looked down at me, strands of his long hair caught in the wind. My stomach knotted.
“You are a woman to be worshipped. I am a proud man who in all my years has never bowed to anyone. But I would kneel before you,” he said, brushing his thumb across my cheekbone. “You are a warrior, and in another life your spirit was a queen.”
“And you were a bee who made honey with your tongue.”
A smile danced in his eyes. “You were right,” he continued. “There’s no point in courting you. That would only show the uncertainty of my feelings, and I want it to be crystal clear that I would lay down my life for you.”
“It took you two weeks to come to that conclusion?”
His hands brushed over my shoulders. “No, Ivy. It took me two weeks to get my house in order. Rebecca is gone, as is every woman who has known my bed. And the bed is gone—except for the posts. Those belonged to my grandmother, but the mattress and sheets are new. It took me seven days to locate a horse like the one your father shot, and this one is yours. He’s stubborn, so if he doesn’t suit your liking, I’ll buy you another.”
I reached out and patted the horse’s side. “I wouldn’t dream of it. And I like the name Trouble.”
Lorenzo’s chest swelled. “Good,” he replied, his voice steadier. “And I spoke with my pack about my intent. Anyone who had issues—and there were three men—were forced to leave.”
“What did you tell them?” I asked in horror.
“That I’ve chosen my mate. She’s a courageous wolf with a gentle heart. That she walks a little slower than the rest of us, but she can lead.”
&nb
sp; “And what of my past?”
Lorenzo’s hands fell to his sides. “I told them she has a strong son. They should know about him or else they might ask questions when he eventually comes to visit.”
I drew in a breath and held it. “You speak as if the decision is made.”
“Is it not enough? This is a new pack you’ll be coming into—a new home. A new bed, a horse, a nursery, and anything else you desire.”
“Nursery?”
“For our child.”
I laughed and threw my braid over my shoulder. “And what makes you think I would have a child with you?”
“Because you’re carrying him inside you,” he said, placing his hands around my hips. “I sensed it before you did. Maybe that’s why I needed to go with you to Cognito and find out how you felt about your firstborn.”
“You knew? How could you know?” My voice rose an octave and I pushed him away.
He laughed softly and pulled me close. “Such a fiery spirit you have. My wolf sensed it after our standoff with Fox but didn’t clue me in until after. Had I known at that time, I wouldn’t have allowed you to shift.”
A light breeze blew from behind him, and wooden chimes on the nearby tree clacked melodically like fairy drums. Goodness, Lorenzo smelled wonderful. A subtle hint of aftershave mixed with nature, if that was possible. I leaned into him and held my hands against his chest, looking up at him.
“You have my loyalty,” he said in a soft breath. “And my trust.”
There are few moments in our lives we’ll remember and cherish forever. This was it. This was one of them.
I brushed my fingers along his jaw and searched his eyes. He stared down at me pensively but didn’t say a word. Finally, after a moment, I smiled. “There it is.”
His brows sloped down. “There what is?”
“Your love for me. I can see it now.”
We stood in a dreamlike fog, and Trouble circled around us. My love for Lorenzo had begun as a drizzle that turned into a light rain. Now, as I looked deep into his eyes and saw our future together, it was a downpour.
He stroked my cheek with his knuckles. “You are a woman full of secrets.”
“And what of yours?”
