by Judith Pella
Graves in turn promising to return in plenty of time to open the house and air it out.
Carolina’s last order of business was to contact Mr. Swann. For this she took the carriage to his office and surprised him by arriving completely unannounced.
“Mrs. St. John, I must say this is a surprise,” Swann said, coming from behind his desk to bow.
Carolina curtsied and allowed him to lead her to a chair. “I have come on particularly pressing business that I wanted to discuss in person.”
“Pray tell me what is on your mind,” he replied, retaking his seat at the desk.
“There are several matters,” Carolina began. “First of all, I’d like accounts set up for Mrs. Dover and Mrs. Graves on the chance that anything should happen to me. I would suggest the sum of five thousand dollars each, to be paid out upon my death.” Mr. Swann nodded and made notes on a sheet of paper. “I will also want to set up an annuity for them upon their retirement from my service. I don’t want these women lacking for their necessities in old age.”
Swann again nodded. “Did you have an amount in mind?” he questioned.
“Not exactly. I have no idea, to tell you the truth, of their circumstance outside of my home. I will leave it up to you to consider their living and give me a figure.”
“Very well. Is there anything else?”
“Yes,” Carolina replied. “I want to set up a trust for Victoria. With no other living relative and both of her real parents dead, I want to assure both her and myself that should I die before she is of age, she will have all that she needs to survive. My brother and sister-in-law York and Lucy Adams, currently of Philadelphia, would be my choice for raising Victoria, but until I acquire their assurance that such a thing would meet with their approval, we will leave that unmentioned in the trust.”
Mr. Swann nodded and put pen to paper once again. “Is there anything else?”
“Yes. We are leaving tomorrow for my father’s plantation. I’m uncertain as to how long we will be gone, but should you need to reach me, simply post a letter to my attention, in care of Joseph Adams, Oakbridge Plantation, Falls Church, Virginia.”
“Is there anything else I can do for you, Mrs. St. John?” Swann asked.
“No, not at this time.” Carolina got to her feet, and Swann quickly rose to assist her. “I will inform you of our return to Baltimore.”
He escorted her out to the carriage and, after handing her up, surprised her by saying, “Mrs. St. John, you are an admirable woman. I know very few people who would give so faithfully to those around them. You are truly good.”
“It is what I feel God would have me do, Mr. Swann. It doesn’t come from my goodness, it comes from His,” she answered.
“To be certain,” Swann replied and stepped back to give her a sweeping bow. “Godspeed.”
Carolina returned home to find that the railroad tickets had arrived and that Mrs. Graves had everything completely packed and ready for the trip. After a lively supper answering Victoria’s many questions, Carolina tucked her daughter into bed and together they prayed.
Carolina picked up the lamp and started for the door, but Victoria had yet another series of questions in mind. Sleepily she asked, “Why do you love the railroad so much?”
Smiling, Carolina put the lamp on the desk and came to sit beside the child. “I don’t know that I have a simple answer,” she said softly. Taking Victoria’s hands in her own, Carolina thought back to her first experience with a locomotive.
“When I was fifteen, the railroad came to Washington City. My parents took me to see the first locomotive to come to the city, and I was amazed at the noise and the smell and the size of such a monster.
“A man offered me a ride and helped me onto the platform behind the engine before I could object. Not that I would have,” she said with a grin. “I rode only a few yards, but it was such bliss, and I felt the wonder of it all flood my soul. I knew this machine had the power to take a person on wonderful adventures and to fulfill dreams I had yet even to think of. I sensed that this machine, above all others, would play an important part not only in the future of America but in my future as well. And, because of that, I wanted to be a part of it.”
Victoria yawned and patted her mother’s hand. “And we shall ride on the locomotive tomorrow,” she said, her eyes drooping in sleep.
Carolina leaned down to kiss her forehead. “You sleep now. Tomorrow we shall venture to Oakbridge, and we can talk more about the railroad then, if you like.”
Closing the door quietly behind her, Carolina leaned back and sighed. It was as if all the problems and complications of her life had suddenly been worked through. Her father would say that the rough places had been made smooth, and that if one would only trust God, that would be the outcome every time.
Looking at all that surrounded her life, Carolina was amazed at how intricately God had made those rough places plain. She was no longer in a marriage of convenience, a marriage she had been quite uncertain about participating in. Yet Victoria, the reason for such a marriage, remained safely in her care and would forever stay that way. It was as if a door had opened onto a new chapter of life. A very promising chapter.
50
Knowing Peace
Looking out the window of the Baltimore-bound locomotive, James Baldwin gave his mind over to the seriousness of his father’s deception. He was headed north with only one thing on his mind. Carolina. He had to speak to her and apologize for his anger, and then somehow he had to swallow his pride and admit that she had been right all along.
In only two weeks’ time, the Baltimore and Ohio would reach completion to Cumberland, and he was scheduled to be on the westbound celebration train. But celebrating was hardly what he felt up to. All he could think of was that his father had caused much grief and harm to hundreds of people, but perhaps more despairing, his father was responsible for delaying the dream Joseph and Carolina had shared for the P&GF. It was that betrayal that injured him more than any other.
He had to remind himself once again that God now shared his burdens, and that somehow things would work out to a good conclusion.
The scenery moved by at a steady pace, passing the point of his accident just north of Washington. James could see no scars upon the landscape to mark the occasion, but deep inside there were still scars upon his heart. His body, too, bore jagged white reminders of injuries sustained. He wondered what Phineas would think of the railroad had he lived. It was certain he would be pleased at reaching Cumberland. He would no doubt ride proudly on the engine or on the tender, where he could get a perfect feel of the line and the engine.
James couldn’t help but smile and remember a very young and excited Carolina Adams sharing the tale of her first locomotive ride. Thinking of it now, James pulled two white kid gloves from his pocket and spread them out on his lap. They were Carolina’s gloves. They were the gloves she had stained while taking her first railroad excursion.
Tracing the faded black smudges, James thought of how Carolina had shared with him that these gloves represented her dreams. She would sleep with the gloves sometimes and think of what the future might offer her and how she might play a part with the railroad.
They were very small reminders, James thought, impressed with how tiny her hands must have been to fit such gloves. He doubted her hands were much larger now, even if seven years had passed since that day.
He rolled the gloves back together and stuffed them in his pocket. He would return them to her today and explain how they had disappeared years ago. He thought of the day he’d taken them from her room. Carolina had been steeped in sorrow. Margaret Adams had put an end to her daughter’s tutoring sessions as James was to become Virginia’s husband. She had deemed it unacceptable for the sessions to continue and had assigned Carolina duty in housekeeping and more mundane feminine responsibilities. Carolina had felt betrayed by this, and by the announcement that James would marry Virginia.
This thought came unbidden to his m
ind, but he was certain of its genuineness. He hadn’t believed it possible then, but over the years James had come to realize that Carolina had given him more than her esteem as student to tutor. She had come to care for him, of this he was certain. It made more sense to believe this, especially now looking back in time, than to believe her too young to be capable of such feelings. Annabelle had helped him to realize this, yet Annabelle could do nothing to keep him from regretting such a realization.
How could I have been so blind? he thought. If only I’d known that she cared. I would never have accepted Virginia’s proposal that we marry, but instead, I would have held out, insisting that the tradition of oldest daughter marrying first be done away with. Then I would have married Carolina, instead of leaving her to fend for herself and marry that St. John character.
The car lurched, and a spittoon fell over and rolled down the aisle. It did nothing to halt James’ memories. Thinking of Carolina and Annabelle, James again reflected on his father’s actions and how he might make peace with the Adamses. Annabelle had said that when a man was trying to please God, He would make even his worst enemies to be at peace with him. She’d also pointed out that James was often his own worst enemy.
And he had almost forgotten that he did not have to face Carolina, or even his father’s investors, alone. The thought comforted him. He finally understood what Ben, Annabelle, and even Carolina so long ago had been talking about. God was a friend he could have at his side no matter what.
God, he prayed silently, I don’t know Your ways as I should. I’ve listened to the words of my friends, however, and they have brought to me an understanding of Your love and sacrifice, and while I am still uncertain and my faith still weak, I do want to know the peace You offer. I want to be at peace with myself and those around me, and I want to correct this matter that my father has so recklessly created.
Thickly forested landscape passed by the window as James took a deep breath and immediately felt a sensation of stillness. It was as though the wrinkles of his life were being smoothed out, things set in order. His soul was at rest for perhaps the first time in his life, and James knew what it was to place his future in God’s hands.
After seeing to railroad business, James hired a hack to take him to the St. John house near Federal Hill. He felt a new confidence that gave him courage to do what he had to do. Carolina might be out of reach romantically, but he was determined to present himself as a faithful friend, an acquaintance she might trust and believe in when times of trouble came upon her. He didn’t know if he could ever do as Annabelle suggested and declare his love to her, but he would pledge his undying devotion to their friendship and pray that she would not throw it back in his face.
The cab stopped in front of the imposing brick house, and James stepped down with a lightness of heart that surprised even him. There was still a good portion of anxiety, even anticipation, at the thought of seeing her again, but he squared his shoulders and made his way through the wrought-iron gate and up the front walk. Today, he would set things right with Carolina. What happened from that point would rest in God’s capable hands.
Sounding the knocker, James waited until the stern-faced Mrs. Graves answered the door. The woman appeared as though she was ready to step out for the day, and James offered her a brief greeting and handed her his card.
“Might I speak with Mrs. St. John?”
Mrs. Graves shook her head. “Mrs. St. John and Miss St. John have closed the house for a short time and will be unavailable.”
“When will they be returning?” he asked, unable to hide his disappointment.
“Can’t say. Mrs. St. John was uncertain.”
“Might I inquire as to where they have gone?”
Mrs. Graves frowned. “No, you may not. I am hardly at liberty to discuss such things. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a stage to connect with.”
She closed the door in his face, leaving James both stunned and dismayed. He turned back to the street and began to walk toward the Pratt Street Station. There was no sense in remaining in Baltimore if Carolina was gone. Perhaps Joseph Adams might know his daughter’s whereabouts, but that would require returning to Washington and making a journey to Oakbridge.
He had not been to Oakbridge since that fateful day when Virginia had found him embracing Carolina. It had been an innocent embrace. Maryland had just been buried, and Carolina was crying tears of sorrow in his arms. But try as he might, James remembered all too well that on his part, the embrace had meant much more than comfort. That embrace had made up his mind that his feelings for Carolina were real. Much too real, in fact, to continue with marriage to her sister.
Yet could he really return to Oakbridge now? It would certainly mean a confrontation with Joseph that James was not certain he was ready for.
“Where are you, Carolina?” he murmured against the noises of the city. “Where are you?”
51
Two Hearts Unite
“Hurry, Mama,” Victoria said, pulling at Carolina’s gloved hand. The train had only a moment before it stopped at the Washington Station. “I want to see Grandfather.”
Carolina laughed and allowed the porter to lift Victoria from the passenger car, while she struggled to make a ladylike departure on her own. Catching her foot in the hem of her navy wool traveling outfit, Carolina lost her balance and would have fallen but for the sturdy hand of a passing stranger.
“Allow me to assist you,” came a very familiar voice.
Carolina steadied herself on the ground and looked up into the eyes of James Baldwin. “Mr. Baldwin,” she breathed, hardly daring to believe he was really there.
“Carolina,” he whispered as his face lit up with recognition and what appeared to be pure joy.
Carolina wanted nothing more than to lose herself in his eyes, but Victoria was quickly pulling on the sleeve of her caped jacket.
“Hurry, Mama.”
“Victoria, mind your manners,” Carolina said rather sternly. She turned from James to see Victoria’s joyous countenance fall. Softening, Carolina added, “I’m just as excited as you are.” She winked at the child and was rewarded with a giggle.
“You remember Mr. Baldwin, don’t you?” she asked Victoria.
“Yes,” came the suddenly shy voice, “I remember.” The little girl stepped away from Carolina and curtsied deeply. “Good afternoon, Mr. Baldwin.”
“Good afternoon, Miss St. John.” He bowed and gave her a smile. “I must say,” he continued, “this is quite an unexpected pleasure.”
“Were you traveling on this same locomotive?” Carolina asked, noting that his very stylish Chesterfield coat was wrinkled.
“Yes, in fact, I’ve come from a very unproductive trip to Baltimore.”
“Unproductive?”
“Indeed. I went there this morning with the sole purpose of seeing you, but, of course, you were already out and about Baltimore preparing for your trip to Washington. Or so I assume.”
“We were just now on the ladies’ car.” Carolina seemed to think about his words for a moment. Thoughtfully, amid the rush of debarking passengers she asked, “Why did you come to see me?”
“To apologize,” James said without hesitation. He glanced around. “What say we collect your baggage. Do you have someone arriving to drive you to Oakbridge?”
“No,” Carolina said, her heart racing within her. He was so handsome and self-confident, and there was something in the way in which he looked at her that left Carolina weak in the knees. He seemed older, but also stronger, more vital.
“Then please allow me to drive you both to Oakbridge. We can discuss business on the way.”
Business, thought Carolina, disappointed. He wants to discuss business. She smiled quickly so as to cover any disappointment that might show. “I would hate to put you to such trouble, Mr.
Baldwin.”
“No trouble at all.”
“Did you already plan to go to Oakbridge?”
“I do now,” he r
eplied with a rather mysterious smile.
He collected their bags while Carolina and Victoria waited inside the depot. Victoria couldn’t contain herself and danced around the room taking in all the people. Carolina was certain that she thought Grandfather might magically appear at any moment, even though he had no idea they would be arriving today.
Carolina straightened her skirt and retied the ribbons of her bonnet in a nervous fashion. In her mind she thought of her regret in having never declared her feelings to James. Such things were simply not proper, she knew, but in her heart she was certain that propriety went right out the window in such matters.
She watched him, intrigued by the grown-up man she’d scarcely dared herself to see when he’d visited her in Baltimore. He was by far and away more muscular than when he had tutored her. Working on the rail line had no doubt accomplished this feat. He appeared, if possible, taller than she’d remembered and certainly more striking. His dark hair had been carefully cut to a fashionable length, but it was windblown from the trip. His face was clean-shaven, which made him appear quite youthful, but his eyes, so blue and intense, took away any doubt of his maturity.
“Here we are,” he announced, a baggageman quietly following behind with their things. “I’ve managed to secure a brougham and driver, and so if there are no further objections, we shall journey to Oakbridge.”
Carolina nodded. “By all means, and thank you very much.”
James helped Victoria and Carolina up into the enclosed and very private brougham before hoisting himself up the step and taking a seat opposite the ladies. He tapped on the roof, and the driver heeded his signal by moving them out into the late-day traffic.
Carolina wondered if he would speak of his business, or if Victoria’s presence might cause him to remain silent. More annoying than trying to second-guess James, however, was the bevy of thoughts that ran unchecked in her own mind. Should she tell him of Blake’s death and of her own freedom? Should she tell him of her feelings in the past and how regretful she was of the time they’d lost? Surely it would be foolishness to bring up such things. James might well be engaged to another woman by this time. Or worse, he might be married. She wondered how she might inquire of this without appearing too forward.
