“I just...”
“Stop it! Just stop it. Come with me.”
“Cip, I really don't-”
Cipriana reached out and grabbed Cassidy's wrist and proceeded to drag her forcibly out of the tent. Cassidy stumbled, trying to get loose from the sleeping bag as Cipriana kept pulling.
“Where are we going?”
Cipriana's voice replied in sharp, seething syllables. “The shift changed a little while ago, come on.”
“What? I don't have a shift today.”
“And I'm not on until tonight. We're going to look at the road.”
“Why?”
Without further conversation, they stopped once they were close enough to see people walking back to base. Six who just got off shift, and a few friends who had gone to walk them back.
Cipriana pointed at them “See that man in the front?”
“Yeah, I can't see who it is from here through.”
“Do you know who he lost recently?!”
Cassidy hadn't heard of it. “Who? A family member?”
Cipriana grabbed Cassidy's wrist hard. “Yes, he lost family! He lost Cheryl and Marcus. See the two walking along behind him?”
Cassidy sighed, and Cipriana yelled, “They lost Cheryl and Marcus! That man there? He lost Cheryl and Marcus! All of us lost Cheryl and Marcus, and we all loved them!” She threw Cassidy's wrist free, and clenched her fists. “Just because you were so perfectly in love with her, it doesn't give you the right to take...” Her voice broke into quiet sobs, “you can't take Cassidy from us!”
Cassidy crouched down, and held her head in her hands. “I know... I know I'm not the only one in any kind of pain, Cip, but isn't it my life? To do what I want with? I don't have that right?”
Cipriana stood in front of Cassidy, and started opening the fly on her pants.
“Uh... Cip? If you wanted to turn me on, your pickup lines could use some work, because the-”
Cassidy's confusion was only increased as Cipriana's pants fell down around her legs, revealing old, but large scars on the inner sides of both her thighs. She let Cassidy see them for a while, then pulled her pants back up, and sat down beside her. She folded her arms across her knees, and rested her head, face down. “Stupid. Selfish.” she muttered. “Both of us.”
“What... what happened?”
Cipriana sighed, but didn't look up. “My father was very important to me. He's why I joined the army. Following in his footsteps. He... heart attack. No one saw it coming. He was healthy and strong. Then, it just happened, and he was gone.” she sighed, and lifted her head to look at Cassidy.
“I got myself quite drunk, so I wouldn't feel the knife.” She inhaled sharply, trying not to cry. “There was still a lot of pain. A lot. I bled, and I bled, and I bled, and I slept.”
Cassidy put her arms around Cipriana, and Cipriana continued. “It was only when I woke up in the hospital, with my mother sitting by the bed, that I realized how selfish it was. Guess who helped me through that mess?”
“Your mom, huh?”
Cipriana chuckled though her tears. “She tried. She was just too... too 'mother' for me to really hear her, you know? It was my father's best friend. Marcus.”
Cassidy released Cipriana, and sat back, resting on her arms. “Cip, damn. Ha. You just blew my mind.”
Cipriana chuckled again. “Good ole' 'uncle' Marcus. We always thought it was funny when people speculated about us being in love. Our little private joke. One thing he said back then that stuck with me: Our lives are not our own. He meant we also belong to all our loved ones. You have to be aware of how others care.
Cassidy stared into Cipriana's eyes for a while. She was so beautiful. Cassidy couldn't help remembering a couple times when Cheryl had teasingly accused her of having a crush on Cipriana. “Hey, Cip. The other big mystery about you is still unanswered.” She joked.
Cipriana laughed. “I'm straight! You know that.”
“Yeah, that would just be too convenient if you weren't.” Cassidy chuckled. “I'm not that serious, it's just that kind of moment. I've been giving you a lot of hugs lately, and then you dropped your pants, and well... it gets a gal confused, you understand.”
Cipriana forced a smile, and nodded big slow nods. “Understandable.” Both of them had dried their tears. “Alright, Cassidy. Come back to base with me.”
Cassidy sighed. She wanted to go back to the tent, even if just to sleep, but she knew Cipriana wouldn't allow that. “Yeah, alright. We should pick up that gun. If one of those aeki lizards gets a hold of a weapon, we're all doomed.” She stood up, and put out her hand to help Cipriana up.
“I'll be sending it back to Nafim's unit. We don't need it here.”
“Are you going to call that damned counselor on me or something?”
They started walking, and Cipriana thought. “No. Maybe I should, but no. However, you're my partner for the watch from now on. I'm keeping a close eye on you for a while. And I'm taking apart that camp.”
That hurt. It was fair though. Cassidy nodded, wagering that Cheryl's mural would at least survive.
~~~
The afternoon watch went on as it ever did. Eventually, the tours were to start again. Soon, but not yet. Cassidy and Cipriana stood at the top doorway, with the statue nearby.
It was all the same, except different. Cipriana wasn't generally one for idle chit chat, but Cassidy didn't feel the need to. More than anyone else still on the base, she considered Cipriana family. A sister.
The stains of blood nearby were long ago scrubbed away, but Cassidy's eyes drifted from time to time, to the spot where Cheryl had died. It wasn't too uncommon that she would stare at the spot, and drift off into her own mind.
“Cassidy.” Cipriana would say when she noticed. Cassidy made eye contact, and sighed, fortifying her resolve. She wondered why Cipriana had chosen this post for them. It couldn't be especially easy for Cipriana either.
“You're visiting Cheryl's parents soon?”
Cassidy nodded. “I feel kind of odd about it. I know I'm welcome and all, but I don't know what else to talk about. They don't need to hear me whine about Cheryl, that's for damned sure. I'm not sure why they'd want to see me.”
“Maybe they see you as a reminder.”
“That's my point! I don't think they need extra reminding!”
Cipriana smiled softly. “That's not what I mean. If they get to know you, they will know that their daughter was happy.”
Cassidy looked down and smirked, fighting back tears. “Cip, you suck.” she giggled.
“Be glad to have known her while she was here.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes slightly. “Better to have loved and lost, huh?” It sounded more than a little empty. She sighed, and stared into nowhere.
Time ticked away uncounted as the shift wore on. Little else was said, nor needed to be. The sun melted below the horizon, with its slow amber kiss goodnight.
Maxine and Jim walked up the steps. “Alright, you two. It's our turn. Give us the pointy sticks.” Cassidy and Cipriana handed over their spears.
“See you guys in eight hours.” Cassidy said. Eight hours felt a lot longer these days.
Before starting down the steps, Cipriana turned to the great statue, and said “See you tomorrow. Be good!”
“Cip? Is this some kind of tradition you're going to keep up? Marcus talked to the statue, so as the new C.O., you have to as well?”
“I wasn't talking to the statue,” Cipriana pointed at the top of the statue's head, and then started down the steps. “I was talking to Eidechse.”
“Eidechse?!” Cassidy looked, to see a little aeki lizard perched on top of the statue's head. “That silly little thing... it's not...”
Cipriana smiled. “Redundancy is a life saver.”
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Watching Yute Page 35
