by Nancy Hopper
Gary closed his eyes, and gave a deep sigh. It was a long time before he broke the silence, to walk to the podium. He let his eyes wander across the congregation. A ripple of chuckles followed his shaking head and dubious grin.
“You people amaze me,” he said, clipping a tiny lapel microphone onto his chest. “Wasn’t that beautiful?”
“Amen!” a chorus of voices answered him.
“I’m so pleased to see the dedication growing so deep in all of us – the demanding tenacity to hold on until we’ve got everything the Lord has to give us. And I know it pleases Him, beyond our wildest dreams.”
His eyes wandered and came to rest on Tasha. She met their steady gleam dubiously, unable to sort out what she was feeling.
“Last night”, he said in a husky voice, “I discovered that what I had to say to you, was all wrong for today.” He allowed a corner of his mouth to turn up as he bathed Tasha with the warmth of his glance. “And, I found that the Lord was going to keep me awake far into the night so that I could face something I’d rather not have looked at so closely.” he said gravely.
It was so quiet, you could hear hair growing.
Gary dragged his eyes away from Tasha and found another target, as he began speaking again.
Tasha felt stunned. Her eyes were glued to the man who stood with so much assurance and authority at the podium. His elbow casually rested on its edge. He was preaching!
A stab of angry shame coursed through Tasha’s heart when she remembered how she’d tempted him to kiss her the night before. He seemed like a different man up there this morning. Oh, if only she'd known last night! She was mortified that she'd invited a preacher to kiss her! Good night!
She couldn’t help listening carefully as he talked about the curves that life throws our way, about taking them in stride and learning how to react only the way Jesus would have – waiting in prayer and trusting God for answers, before taking actions which might later be regretted.
“Circumstances can make life mighty miserable for us.” he said quietly. “And so often, I know I am left at a loss, totally incapable of knowing how to cope. I can guarantee you that if you react before waiting on the Lord’s leading, you’ll make a mess of things. Sometimes, that means wounding a tender heart.” he said quietly, looking steadily into Tasha’s eyes.
He paused, and grinned. “I found myself in an odd predicament just yesterday.” he admitted. “The situation went from bad to worse, and by the time I got to bed last night, I was absolutely bewildered. I couldn’t figure out which end was up. I slept badly, so this morning I reacted to that stress and let my personal feelings take over.”
Tasha felt Deb’s dubious, sympathetic eyes on her. She kept her head down, knowing that her cheeks were flaming.
“I knew what the Lord was asking me to do, but I wasn’t able to accept it yet. I was still fighting Him, when I came here this morning. Still looking for the way out.”
He lifted his eyes and his hands toward heaven. “Dear God, when will we ever begin to overcome our own wills and senses, and ask to see Your plan and purpose, before we react?” he asked in frustration.
He looked searchingly across the congregation. “His ways are not our ways. The wisdom of man is foolishness to God, and He uses the foolish things to confound the mighty. We’re so quick to judge.” he lamented.
“But you know, the worship this morning set me free.” he almost whispered. “All the objections are gone. All the barriers are suddenly non-existent. All I did was change my attitude, and let the Lord have His way.” he said forcefully.
“When He moves in a new way I have never seen before, and He says, ‘Gary, you’re going to have to trust me’, I realize how little my faith and trust are, and how much I still rely on my own capabilities.”
“People, we’ve got to begin to really see in the spirit, not after the flesh. We have to rely on God. Instead of wiggling around on the hook and asking the Lord if there’s not some other way, we need to let Him just be God!”
“I always pray for His perfect will. Then, when He moves, I so often immediately don’t want what He just did! It wasn’t what I expected, it wasn’t what I’m comfortable with! I just can’t understand some of the things God does.”
“But, the worship made me realize it really doesn’t matter whether or not I can see from the beginning to the end of God’s plan for my life. It would be futile for me to try. And, knowing this, I entered into the worship and it became so easy to accept what the Lord has given me to do today. I just walked through that door, and said ‘yes, Lord’. Whatever You want, Lord, I am willing.”
There was a roar of assent and applause all around Tasha, as Gary got on his knees before God. The people were simply going wild. At first, Tasha was a little embarrassed that this big, strapping man was on his knees in church. Then she looked at Deb, and saw tears of joy in her eyes.
She turned again to look at Gary through Deb’s eyes, and saw the humility of spirit; the tenderness of heart; the obedience to a higher power evident in the stance he was taking. He was strong, yet weak; humble, and yet unashamed.
Tasha just stared at him with stricken eyes. For the first time in her life, she thought that just perhaps, there was really a God.
Tasha was at a loss among the horde of people surrounding her after the service was over. Deb stood faithfully by her side, introducing people to her, reassuring her with little pats and hugs.
Tasha stiffened instinctively when she saw Gary approaching them. Her eyes narrowed as she watched a beautiful woman intercept him. The lady slipped slim arms around Gary’s waist and put her cheek against his.
Gary grinned, and hugged her tightly for a moment before releasing her, and picking up the child holding onto the woman’s skirts. The look in his eyes for the tow-headed toddler made Tasha’s heart constrict.
After a moment, Gary gave the child back to the woman and said goodbye. Marietta, she heard him call the woman. And the child’s name was Dodi. Now, he was heading toward she and Deb again.
Tasha glared pointedly at him, to let him know she wasn’t pleased with his preaching.
He met her gaze humorously, a glint of answering challenge in his blue eyes. “Hello, ladies. Ready to go?” he asked cheerfully. Tasha froze as his arms slipped around their backs.
“Sure, Gary. I didn’t know you were taking us home.” Deb answered happily.
“I have a better idea. Let’s go to the beach this afternoon.” he suggested.
“Oh, Gary, I can’t. I promised Doug that I’d do some things he couldn’t get to, before he left. But take Tasha, and have a great time.”
Tasha opened her mouth to protest, but they were already out the door, and Gary was opening a van door and gently but firmly pushing her up into a seat.
“Okay.” he answered Deb on their behalf. “Tell Ruth we won’t be back for dinner.”
“Will do. Bye, bye.” Deb called gaily.
Tasha did a slow burn as Gary backed the van out, swung around, and headed down the driveway. She glowered at him as he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top of his blue and gray striped shirt.
“A little racy for Sunday best, don’t you think, preacher?” she asked cuttingly.
“What’s that?” he asked, unperturbed.
“Your shirt.” she snapped.
Gary looked down at the pinstripes carelessly. “I don’t see why.” he said breezily. He looked over at her blue and white polka dot sun dress. “You look very pretty today, Tasha.”
She snorted. “Thank you very much.”
“I’m serious! Why can’t you just accept the compliment?” he asked .
“You are despicable! First you scream at me when I’m not even awake. Then you make me come to church – Ugh! Then, you talk about me in front of all those people! From bad to worse, indeed! I’ll show you bad to worse! You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, Gary Taylor!”
“And you never gave me a hint you were some kind of preacher, you just let me act like
a fool when all the time you could have just let me know. Oh, but not you! That’s just not your style, is it?”
Gary’s even, white teeth were nicely displayed in his grin. “I didn’t mention your name even once. No one had any reason to suspect you’re a thorn in my side.”
“Oh! Thanks a lot! I like you, too!” she snapped. “And the Waldens all knew!”
“Of course they did. They knew that, anyway. Besides, what difference does it make to you, if they know we weren’t on the best of terms?”
“Because you made me sound so horrible, and I wasn’t!” she snapped.
“I didn’t mean it that way, Tasha. The struggle I’ve been having is all my own fault. And while I’m on the subject, I am sorry for snapping at you this morning.”
Tasha threw him a withering look. “Okay. Apology accepted.” she answered sulkily.
Gary drove up the coast for about an hour before he turned off, and drove out onto a spit. He parked the van, and looked at Tasha. She peered over the dash so that she could see more of the narrow, secluded cove.
“Okay?” Gary asked hopefully.
“It’s lovely!” Tasha sighed.
The cove was surrounded by bluffs on three sides. The sand was smooth, fine and white. The waves were tiny and evenly spaced, and there were tiny islands out in the surf, complete with evergreen trees reaching toward the foggy sky overhead. Lovely, indeed.
“Good. Sit tight.” Gary ordered cheerfully.
Tasha was flabbergasted when he came around, and opened her door for her. He lifted her down from the van, and put her down gently. She felt unaccountably shy at the feel of his fingers on her ribs.
“That wasn’t necessary.” she objected nervously.
“Yes, it was.” he argued agreeably. “Tasha,” he accused with an incredulous chuckle, “are you actually embarrassed?”
“No!” she denied hotly. She pushed at him frantically, but rather than letting her go, he pulled her against his warm, vibrant body and hugged her soundly. She could feel his chuckle rumbling in his chest more than she could hear it.
“That’s too bad. It’s a completely endearing thing to see a woman blush.” he sighed.
“Well, I don’t like you, so I don’t really care what you think about me!” she huffed.
Gary laughed aloud. “So, what was last night all about, then? Or do you come on like that to every man you meet?” he asked pointedly. “Is it just the prospect of conquest that you are so interested in?”
“How dare you?” she sputtered, smashing her fists against his chest in impotent protest.
“Oh, I dare.” Gary drawled. “I might even change my mind, and take that kiss you were offering.” he threatened softly.
“The hell you will!” she snarled, but his lips silenced her.
Tasha was enveloped by a warmth that jolted her to her toenails. It left her aching in the pit of her stomach, and caused her pulse to flutter.
His lips had a caressing quality that Tasha had never felt before. A gentleness invaded her against her will, touching her deeply. Yet, there was an underlying fire in Gary that scorched and made her long to pull away.
Gary drew her body closer against his own. She inhaled the essence of him; his fragrance, masculine and strong; and suddenly, her knees were going weak beneath her.
Reluctantly, Gary ended the kiss and pressed her head to his shoulder. His fingers spread warmth into her head. “You see, I don’t really bite.” he said in a whisper.
“Well, I do.” she hissed in a shaky voice that perversely, made her companion want to chuckle. She pushed away with all her might, and stumbled unsteadily down the path toward the beach. Gary grinned and followed her. He fell in step as she reached the deep sand of the main beach, and stormed along as best she could in her completely beach-inappropriate heels. He just let the silence carry on, until Tasha was ready to break it.
At last she did, turning to square off and glare at him with a sudden spin of her tiny feet. “Boy, you take the cake!” she roared up at him. “You listen to me, Gary Taylor, I want you to leave me alone. I hate you and you’re a boring deadbeat, and you’re not my type!”
Gary flinched in mock anguish, and rocked back on his heels. “Wow. You don’t mince words. Well, suppose I tell you I don’t really give a damn. What are you gonna do then?”
“You stop kissing me!” she demanded, bellowing in frustration.
“Ah. Kissing is only okay when it suits your mood, eh?” he mused thoughtfully.
“Just what do you mean by that?” she hissed indignantly.
“Last night you sure wanted me to kiss you.” he laughed. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that teasing a man is dangerous, Tasha? By gosh, you might just find one that doesn’t turn off when you’re done playing with him.” he said evenly. “I won’t be used by you, Tasha. Do you think I can’t see you trying to manipulate me? How stupid do you think I am?”
“So you’re not attracted to me at all?” she shouted. “You just wanted to get back at me? Is that the story you’re trying to feed me now?”
Gary looked at her evenly. “No. I’m not particularly attracted to you.” he admitted.
Tasha sucked in her breath angrily. He was serious! She thought she saw pity in his eyes. That, she could not stand!
“Of course, you're very pretty, Tasha; just not really my type. But that doesn’t mean we have to be enemies.” he suggested, offering her a lopsided smile.
“Get real.” she hissed. She turned and started walking down the beach, her hands balled in her pockets. It galled her terribly that she seemed to be more affected by him, than he was by her. That was certainly a first!
It took a lot of walking before Tasha began to cool off. She made sure she stayed well ahead of Gary, and he didn't seem to mind, at all. He just walked along with his hands in his pockets, whistling and looking out at the water, and strolling slowly. Paying her no mind whatsoever.
Finally, she had to stop and take off her sandals. She was beginning to rub blisters from the difficult walk in the sand. He caught up with her, when she did.
“Are you hungry?” he asked in that kind of friendly, detached voice.
“No.” she snapped.
“Well, I am. We should head back, anyway. No point in us carrying this discussion any further, is there?”
She gave him a baleful look. “You just dragged me out here to dig at me where no one could help me.” she accused. “You overbearing, insufferable beast!”
Gary rolled his eyes, and turned to walk back toward the van.
“Disgusting, male chauvinist, puking pig!” she hurled at his back.
At the piercing look Gary tossed over his shoulder, she shut her mouth. He looked rather mutinous for a moment; and she did need a way home.
She trailed him on the way back, having to stroll quite slowly; with nothing but his back to look at. There was no conversation.
As they climbed the path to the van, a huge, black and white bird with weird eyes and a thick, orange beak fluttered across the path before Tasha's face. She screamed brilliantly.
Gary turned, saw the bird flying away, and laughed heartily.
“Oh, my God! What the hell was that?” she shrieked.
“It's just a Puffin. It won't hurt you.” he assured her with mirth.
“A what?” she snapped
“A Puffin.” he repeated. “They nest in the cliffs above the beach. It was probably more scared than you were.”
“How reassuring.” she growled.
Gary just shrugged, and continued up the path.
Tasha’s slow burn had become a raging bonfire by the time he opened her van door, and steadied her elbow with an exaggerated display of chivalry. She settled in, and smiled as a new tactic occurred to her.
“You know, Gary, I just don’t understand why you insist upon playing church. You could do so much more.” she said matter-of-factly.
“More?” Gary repeated with a deep growl. “Tasha, I don’t expect you to under
stand my dedication to the Lord, but it’s my whole life. There is absolutely nothing I could ever do that would be more meaningful -- or have more value – than to serve Him and His people.”
She widened her eyes. “Well, then. Why not go big, if that’s the way you feel about it? You could be famous, you know, with your looks, and your beautiful voice.”
“Thanks, but bigger isn’t necessarily better.”
“Hogwash! I’m surprised at you! I thought it was all about ‘saving souls for Christ’? How could bigger not be better? The more people who see you, the more people you can sell your religion to.”
“Tasha,” Gary warned evenly, “Let's just drop it.”
“Touchy, touchy! Lighten up, Gary, I’m just trying to help you out.”
“I don’t recall asking for your help, Tasha.” he countered lightly.
“Well, excuse me! I might have offered you a sizable donation, if you’d been decent to me.”
To her chagrin, Gary laughed heartily. “You’re serious, aren't you? Do you really think you can manipulate me with your money? Money doesn’t make up the Kingdom of God, Tasha. People do.”
Tasha glared at him, but her curiosity had been aroused. So he didn’t want her money, then? What preacher didn’t want money?” She narrowed her eyes, and smiled. Perhaps she could test his appetite.
“Tasha, don’t get me wrong. Money is a great tool. The thing is, that the Lord has me right where He wants me. I don’t have to promote myself. And, too, whatever is needed, He is able to provide.”
“He’s the God of everything, and all the resources in the world are at His disposal. I have need of nothing. So, I do appreciate your thoughtfulness for me, and your desire to help me in my career. But to me, it’s not a career in the typical sense. I’m just doing what I feel I have to do.”
She smiled at him uncertainly, but it faded quickly. This was a different breed of animal. He really didn’t want her money. He had the faith to get what he wanted, directly from God. If what he said was true, how was she to compete with that? The revelation left her feeling distinctly dissatisfied. Something inside her wanted Gary's eyes fixed on her; and only her!
