by Alice Ward
“The bathroom is just down the hall,” I told her. “And my room is across the living room. If you need anything, just come get me. Did you pack a toothbrush?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” I said. “Well, it’s late so…”
Paisley climbed on the bed and rolled over to face the wall. I stayed in the room for another minute, trying to think of something to say. “I’m sorry” felt fake and “Everything will be okay” just felt like a lie. Instead, I decided to say nothing. I left the room and pulled the door closed behind me.
That night, I didn’t know how I was going to be a dad. I didn’t know the first thing about raising an eight-year-old girl, let alone one who just lost her mother. All I knew was that I had to try. No matter what.
CHAPTER FOUR
Tara
Monday morning arrived faster than I expected. My weekend was filled with nonstop thoughts about the company. More than anything, I wanted to find a solution that would make everyone happy, but I kept returning to that picture of Sean. Ray seemed whole-heartedly against the idea, and I didn’t know why. All I knew was that a model would never work.
All weekend, I wondered whether I should bring up the idea with Ray again. As opposed to it as he was, I thought I saw some sliver of curiosity in his eyes when I pitched the idea. There was something there I didn’t understand. After five years of working for Ray, I never once met his younger son. Sean was just someone I vaguely knew existed, but I hadn’t even learned his name until I found that picture. I couldn’t imagine what could have caused such a rift between him and Ray.
As I walked into the office on Monday morning, I let my feet drag. For the first time ever, I was arriving five minutes late. I walked down the hall toward my office without saying hello to anyone. All I wanted was to disappear into my office and work through my confusing thoughts.
Before I got the chance, Ray called out to me from his office. I passed his door and walked a few more steps. I considered ignoring him and following through with my plan, but I knew I could never do that. Instead, I turned around and walked into his office with a fake smile plastered across my face.
“Good morning, Tara,” he said. “How was your weekend?”
“It was fine,” I said with a shrug. “Uneventful.”
“Did you get a chance to think any more about our predicament?” he asked.
“I did,” I answered simply. Ray stared at me, waiting for me to elaborate, but I stayed silent. I already pitched the one idea I was sure would work. I refused to waste my time throwing around half-assed brainstorms we both knew would fail.
“And?” Ray finally asked.
“I thought you wanted to go with a model,” I said. “Jennifer already rounded up a few agencies. She has all the information ready for you.”
“I know,” Ray sighed. “She gave me the list this morning.”
He leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. I followed his gaze for no reason and waited for him to speak again. I had no idea what I was doing in his office at that point, but I stayed where I was. Despite my mood, I remained professional and polite.
“What do you think, Tara?” he asked. “Honestly.”
“About?” I asked.
“Rebranding,” he explained. “I’ve worked with you long enough to know you have more opinions than you’re sharing.”’
“I gave my opinion on Friday,” I reminded him. “What we need is an authentic motorcycle enthusiast to become the face of Ray Yates’ Motorcycles. I don’t believe a model will achieve that goal. Our target market will see right through our ploy and they’ll write us off immediately. Do you remember when that cigarette company rebranded? They hired that cowboy. Their profits rose through the roof because he was exactly what everyone wanted to be. We need someone who can do that, who can make our customers want to be him. But, you didn’t want to go in that direction.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Ray sighed. “Tara, I know you’re right. Sean would be perfect for us. Having him as the face of the company… People would flock here in droves. I agree with you.”
“Then, what’s the problem?” I asked.
“Sean and I,” Ray began. “We don’t have the best relationship. I haven’t spoken to my youngest son in years. Neither has Zach. Things are strained. I don’t believe he would work with us.”
“It can’t hurt to try,” I pressed. “Ray, I don’t want to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but you asked for my opinion. You’ve always trusted me. I’m asking you to trust me again. This will work. Just call him and ask.”
“I can’t call him,” Ray said. My heart sank. I really thought he was changing his mind. “But, you can.”
Ray’s words hit my ears like a brick. I blinked and smiled nervously. Was he seriously suggesting that I, a stranger to Sean, reach out to him?
“I’m happy to,” I said slowly. “But are you sure that’s what you want?”
“It’ll be better coming from you,” Ray said. He sounded certain, but I wasn’t so sure.
“Okay,” I nodded. “I’ll call him right now.”
“Thank you, Tara,” Ray said. The look in his eyes told me he wasn’t just thanking me as the president of the company, but as a father.
***
“Turner’s Repair Shop,” a voice said on the other end of the line.
“Hello,” I said, using my best professional voice. “May I please speak with Sean Yates?”
“Yup,” the voice said. “You got him.”
“Hi, Mr. Yates,” I said.
“Sean,” he corrected quickly.
“Sean,” I repeated. “My name is Tara Isaac. I work for you father at Ray Yates’ Motorcycles and I was wondering if—”
“What do you want? Just spit it out.”
Sean’s voice was rough. I stopped talking and closed my mouth quickly. I hadn’t expected to be interrupted, and it threw me completely off balance. I cleared my throat and began again.
“Like I said, I work for your father. We have a business proposition for you.”
Before I could say another word, Sean hung up. I heard the dial tone, and I pulled the phone away from my ear. I stared at the receiver and blinked slowly. I couldn’t believe what just happened.
I dialed the number again, holding my breath as I waited for an answer. It rang for what felt like ten minutes before someone picked up.
“Turner’s Repair Shop, this is Jason. How can I help you?” The voice sounded younger than Sean’s, lighter, friendlier.
“Hello,” I said. “May I please speak with Sean Yates?”
“I’m sorry,” Jason said. “He just stepped out to lunch.”
“Lunch?” I scoffed. “It’s not even ten.”
“He takes an early lunch,” Jason explained unconvincingly. “He gets hungry easily.”
“I see.” I rolled my eyes. “Well, do you know when Sean will be back?”
“Not sure,” Jason said. “I can take a message though, if you want.”
“No,” I said. “That won’t be necessary. Thank you, Jason.”
I hung up and exhaled loudly. Putting my hands behind my head, I spun my chair around to face the back wall. I closed my eyes and pretended like I wasn’t at work. For two minutes, I let my mind wander far away. I was on a beach in Florida, lying in the sun and listening to the waves. I pictured my best friend Niki beside me, popping open a beer and handing it to me. It was perfectly blissful.
Then, I opened my eyes, and I was back at work. Back on a mission. I shoved myself to my feet and walked purposely toward Ray’s office. Clearly, I wasn’t the right person to reach out to Sean, after all.
“Got a minute?” I asked Ray. I stepped inside and saw that Zach was already there. He was sitting in a chair against the side wall. He grinned at me. I turned away.
“Sure,” Ray said. He glanced nervously at Zach. “How’d it go?”
“Not great,” I admitted. “He hung up on me.”
“Who?
” Zach asked. I ignored him.
“I tried to call back, but he pretended to be at lunch,” I said. “Obviously, he doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“I’m not surprised,” Ray said. “I didn’t think he would be interested.”
“Who are you two talking about?” Zach demanded.
“Your brother,” Ray explained. “Sean.”
“I thought we already told you it wasn’t going to happen?” Zach snapped, turning his attention to me. His grin was gone and, in its place, was a petty glare. I wanted to reach over and slap him.
“Your father and I discussed it this morning,” I explained. “And he seemed to think it was a good idea, after all.”
“Well, you were both wrong,” Zach said. “Sean is a selfish, narcissistic ass. He wouldn’t help us if we were dying.”
“Stop,” Ray warned. He gave his son a look that made Zach immediately fall silent.
“Look,” I said, taking a step forward so I could talk to Ray only. “I don’t know what problems you have with your son, and I don’t want to. It’s not my business, but you asked me for help. You asked what I thought would solve our problems, and I know, I know, that this is the answer. Yes, Sean sounded like an ass when I spoke to him, but his look is perfect for this company. If what you’re looking for is someone to come in and shake things up, it’s him. He’ll draw in so much business our profits will double within six months.”
“How can you be so sure of that?” Zach asked from behind me.
“Because this is what I do,” I snapped. “My dad spent years working on bikes. I know this demographic better than any other, and I believe this will work.”
“Not if Sean refuses to help,” Ray said.
“Which is why you should go see him,” I said. I knew immediately that my words would not be well received. Ray looked like I’d hit him, and Zach made a sound like an angry cat. I held up my hands in surrender and added, “Ray, this is your company, and I would never tell you how to run it. I don’t mean to be pushy. I think this could work, but just say the word, and I’ll drop the whole idea right now. The decision is ultimately yours.”
Ray nodded and sat back in his chair. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. I was worried I had overstepped my boundaries. When an idea entered my head, I had a hard time letting it go, but I meant what I said to Ray. If he didn’t want Sean involved, then we would think of something else.
“You aren’t seriously considering this?” Zach asked. I glanced over at him and saw that he was staring at his father. Zach’s face looked murderous as he watched his father for a reaction.
“I think she’s right,” Ray said simply. “I believe this will work. For the company.”
“For the company, Dad?” Zach asked. “Or for you?”
“I’ll go see him,” Ray announced. “I don’t know what good it will do, but I can try. I’ll just lay out the offer, and we’ll see what he says.”
“Okay,” I said with a nod. I smiled and let myself out of the office before the tidal wave of Zach’s anger was released.
Sure enough, as I pulled the door closed, I could hear the rise and fall of Zach’s voice floating into the hall. I tried to hurry away before it got too bad, but I could still hear Zach’s yelling when I reached my office and pulled the door closed behind me.
CHAPTER FIVE
Sean
Two days after Paisley came to live with me I bought a car. It was used and horribly run down, but it was safer than my bike. Paisley didn’t say a word when we bought it, but then again, she never said very much. By the time Claire’s funeral came around, Paisley had been with me for over a week. I drove her to the funeral in the car and sat with her during the service. Part of me expected her to cry, but a bigger part of me knew she wouldn’t. Paisley was enough like me that crying in a room full of people wasn’t even a consideration for her.
The service was small. Only a handful of people showed up. Some were Claire’s work friends and others knew her back in high school. There were a few neighbors and a few of Paisley’s school teachers. None of them said a word to me, but they all offered Paisley their sympathies. A couple of Paisley’s friends came with their parents. They were all so young. Most of them cried without knowing why, but Paisley sat stone-faced through it all.
As we drove to the cemetery, Paisley sat silently in the passenger seat. Since I picked her up from the police station, I’d been trying to make her talk. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, but I kept trying. I brought up her mom a few times. It never worked. I tried to talk about her art. She wasn’t interested. I asked if she wanted to go back to camp. She didn’t answer. When I offered to take her swimming, she just looked at me like she smelled something bad.
I didn’t know much about being a father, and I was sure I was failing miserably. Nothing I said or did made her open up to me. She was constantly silent, constantly on edge. She never looked comfortable or happy. She barely ate. She didn’t watch T.V. I kept telling myself it would take time, but I was afraid she would never let me in. I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to help enough, that she would never get over her mother’s death.
Paisley threw a handful of dirt over Claire’s casket at the gravesite. She stared down at the hole. I watched her, waiting for the tears to fall. When they didn’t, my concern only grew. There was no one at the cemetery except she and I. If she was ever going to succumb to tears, that would have been the time. But she didn’t. She just threw the dirt and walked back to the car without a word. I glanced down at the hole, silently apologizing to Claire for everything that happened between us all those years ago. Suddenly, our problems seemed petty and pointless. I’d spent so long hating her, but now that she was gone, I could barely remember why. I promised her I would figure out how to help Paisley, no matter how long it took.
Paisley and I climbed in the car and drove back home. She stared out the window and I glanced over at her too often. Finally, I knew I had to say something. I knew I had to try.
“Paisley,” I said. “Look, I know how much this sucks. There’s nothing I can say to make things okay again. I wish there was, but there just isn’t. But I’m here for you, okay? You can talk to me. About your mom. About how you’re feeling. About anything.”
I waited. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but her face never left the window. I looked over, wondering if she had finally started to cry. Her eyes were as dry as ever. I sighed and turned back to face the road. I didn’t try to make her talk again for the rest of the day.
When we pulled up to the house, I saw a black Jaguar sitting in the driveway. I frowned and parked on the street. Glancing around, I saw a familiar face emerging from the shadows of my porch. He walked down the porch steps, fixing his suit coat as he moved. Seeing him was like a punch to the gut. Paisley and I got out of the car and walked up to him. His eyes moved slowly from me to Paisley and then back again.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. The look on my face must have said it all because he took a step back and cleared his throat nervously.
“Hi, it’s good to see you,” he said. He glanced at Paisley pointedly.
“Paisley,” I said. “This is Ray. Ray, Paisley.”
“Hello,” he said sweetly. He smiled at her kindly. I had to fight the urge to step between them. “It’s nice to meet you, Paisley.”
“Why don’t you go inside and get changed,” I told my daughter. “I need to talk to Ray, but I’ll be inside soon.”
Paisley looked curiously at Ray as she passed, but she didn’t speak. I watched her until she was safely inside the house before I turned on Ray. After such an emotional day, I didn’t have the patience or strength to hide my anger. I glared at him, my face flushed.
“I’ll ask you one more time,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“Why are you so dressed up?” Ray asked, eyeing my apparel. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a suit before.”
“Claire’s funeral was today,” I sa
id simply.
“Claire?” Ray asked. His face fell, and I scoffed. He never liked Claire. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’m sure you are,” I said without feeling.
“I am,” Ray insisted. “Whatever you may think of me, it’s always a tragedy when a child loses a parent. How is she doing?”
“She’s fine,” I said quickly. Ray looked at my face and knew I was lying. It was written in every line of his face as he scrutinized me, the way only a father can.
“I guess that’s why you aren’t on your bike, huh?” he asked. “That’s probably for the best. Paisley’s too young to ride.”
“I still have the bike,” I said simply. I fell silent and waited for him to speak. I was ready for him to get to the point so he could leave. I cleared my throat and raised my eyebrows, silently asking him again why he was there.
“Listen,” he said. “I’m here to talk to you about something important.”
“What’s that?” I asked. I crossed my arms over my chest protectively. Whatever my father had to say, I knew it couldn’t be good.
“The company is failing,” he said simply. I had to admit, I was surprised to hear that. “We aren’t destitute or anything. Far from it. But, our profits aren’t what they need to be. Things are changing in the market, and we’re floundering in the face of our competitors.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I lied. “But I don’t see what that has to do with me.”
“Our team decided the best way to turn things around is to bring in a fresh face,” he explained. “Someone who can be the face of the company and change our brand. We’re hoping you would consider being that person.”
I blinked. My arms fell to my sides, and I smiled weakly. My smile quickly turned to a laugh as I watched my father’s face. He stared back at me impassively. I laughed, but I wasn’t amused.
“You’re kidding,” I said. “Surely, this is a joke.”
“No,” he shook his head. “Sean, it isn’t. I don’t think there is anyone better for us than you. You’ll bring in the right kind of customers. The motorcycle community would love you. You’re exactly what we need.”
