by Alice Ward
Instead, I vowed to do everything I could to build a relationship with her. That morning, I decided to put Tara out of my mind and focus solely on what would make Paisley happy.
“So,” I said over breakfast. “What do you want to do today?”
“I don’t know,” Paisley shrugged. “Whatever.”
“Well,” I said slowly. “Do you remember my friend, Tara? She came over the other day when you were sick.”
“Yeah,” Paisley said. Her face brightened slightly.
“She’s going to come hang out with us today,” I said. “And I think it would be cool if we took her somewhere really fun. What do you think?”
“Sure.” Paisley shrugged.
“Where do you think we should go?” I asked. “We can go anywhere you want.”
“Um,” Paisley began. Her expression was thoughtful. “I don’t know. My mom never really took me anywhere.”
I watched Paisley’s face closely. She looked sad, but there was more behind her eyes. She almost looked disappointed. It occurred to me that Paisley and I may have had more in common than I thought. The way she mentioned her mother reminded me of the way I always talked about my dad. She seemed disappointed with Claire, almost angry at her.
I wanted to ask her about it, but I knew it wasn’t the time. Paisley would have to open up to me in her own time. Still, I felt an odd sense of comfort wash over me. Claire wasn’t the perfect mother, that much I’d always known, but I spent a lot of time convincing myself Claire was better for Paisley than I would ever be. For the first time, I didn’t know if that was true.
A soft knock on the door pulled me away from my thoughts. I started to stand, but Paisley was faster. She jumped up from the kitchen table and ran to the front door. I grinned at the sight. I knew she really like Tara, but it was still amazing to see her get excited.
“Good morning,” Tara said as she stepped inside. She smiled at Paisley and then at me. I waved her over.
“We’re just finishing up breakfast,” I said. “You hungry?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I ate.”
“Coffee?” I offered.
“Sure,” Tara smiled. “Thanks.”
I moved to the counter and poured her a cup. I’d seen her drink coffee at the office so I knew she took it black. When I handed it to her, I gestured for her to sit down. She sat down with a grateful smile.
“So,” I said. “Paisley and I were just discussing what to do today.”
“Yeah,” Paisley said. “But we have no ideas.”
“Actually,” I said. “I think I do.”
Paisley looked at me with surprise. I grinned at her and turned my attention to Tara.
“Arizona Museum of Natural Science,” I said with a flourish. “What do you think?”
“Sounds fun,” Tara nodded. “Paisley?”
“Sure,” Paisley said. She didn’t muster up a smile, but I could tell she was excited.
I smiled and told Paisley to finish her breakfast so we could leave. She gulped down her food faster than I’d ever seen her. Before Tara was able to finish her coffee, Paisley was up. She walked over and stood by the door. She didn’t say anything, but she watched Tara and I expectantly.
“I think she’s ready to go.” Tara laughed.
“What gave you that idea?” I said. I took Tara’s coffee mug and rinsed it out in the sink. After a quick clean up, I ushered the girls out of the house and locked the door behind us.
***
By the time we made it to the museum, Paisley vibrated with energy. We went inside, and she looked around with wide eyes. She took in the exhibits around her with more interest than I’d ever seen her show. When we reached the butterfly exhibit, she smiled. In all the weeks that we’d spent together, I had never seen her smile. Not once. Not until that moment. I was so happy I almost cried.
“She loves it,” Tara whispered to me softly. We stood together and watched Paisley dance around the exhibit. Butterflies landed on her arms and her head. She giggled and tried to catch them, but they fluttered away.
“I could watch her all day,” I said with a small laugh. “She looks so happy.”
“She is,” Tara said. “You did a great job. This was an amazing idea.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” I said, turning to face her. “It wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t.”
Tara just smiled back. We continued watching Paisley until she got her fill and wanted to see more. After a few hours, we stopped for lunch. Paisley once again ate quickly before dragging us away.
“There’s more to see!” she said with excitement.
Paisley ran ahead, too impatient to wait for Tara and me. I shook my head and laughed as I watched her go.
“Don’t go too far!” I called after her. “Stay where I can see you!”
Paisley ignored me, but I knew she heard because she slowed her pace slightly. I could still see her as she looked at the different artifacts lining the walls.
“You’re a great dad,” Tara said suddenly.
“I don’t know about that,” I said dismissively. There were things Tara didn’t know about my past with Paisley, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell her.
“You are,” Tara insisted. “I know you don’t think you are, but you’re doing a really great job.”
“I’m trying.” I nodded. “It’s hard, though. It’s new for us.”
“What is?” Tara asked.
“This,” I said. “Us. Living together. Being around each other.”
“Oh,” Tara said. “I didn’t realize.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m not proud of it. Paisley only came to live with me a few weeks ago.”
“Why?” Tara asked.
I took a deep breath and thought about my answer. It wasn’t a secret, Claire’s accident, but it also wasn’t something I talked about with just anyone.
“Her mom,” I began slowly. “Her name was Claire. She died in a car accident a few weeks ago.”
“Oh my god,” Tara whispered. She glanced at me quickly before looking over at Paisley. “She’s so young.”
“Too young,” I said, shaking my head. “She doesn’t deserve this.”
“No one does,” Tara said softly. “She’s lucky to have you, though.”
“I wish that were true,” I said. “She doesn’t even know me and, really, I don’t know her. Until the night Claire died, I hadn’t seen her in years. She only recognized me because Claire showed her pictures.”
“Can I ask,” Tara began. “I know it’s not my business, but I just wonder…”
“Why I wasn’t in her life?” I finished for her.
“Yeah,” Tara nodded. “If it’s too personal, I understand.”
“Back then, I wasn’t the best guy in the world,” I admitted. “Claire wasn’t happy, and she cheated. Then, she left me. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. I thought that Paisley would be better off without me in her life. So, I let Claire have her. I didn’t even fight her on it.”
I finished talking and waited for Tara to speak, but she didn’t. She just reached over and grabbed my hand. She interlocked her fingers with mine and squeezed gently. I looked at our connected hands and my heart stopped beating. When my eyes found hers, I saw that she was staring at me with an intensity I’d never seen before.
“Tara!” Paisley yelled. Tara and I both jumped. I let go of her hand and cleared my throat.
“What is it?” Tara asked, smiling as Paisley ran toward us.
“Come on!” Paisley said. “You have to see this!”
***
“Sweet dreams,” I whispered as I closed Paisley’s door.
“That was fast,” Tara said when I reappeared in the living room.
“She was asleep within five minutes.” I laughed. “I think we wore her out today.”
Tara nodded. “She definitely enjoyed herself.”
“She really did, didn’t she?” I asked. Tara grinned, and I grinned back. It had been the perfect day.
“Well,” Tara said. “I should get going.”
I walked Tara out to the front porch. We stood there for a few seconds, neither of us knowing what to say. Something happened at the museum, something big. I knew what it meant to me, but I had no idea what Tara was thinking. I wanted to ask her. I wanted to find out how she felt, but I didn’t know where to start. What should I say? What questions would I even ask?
“Thank you for coming,” I said awkwardly. “I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” Tara said, smiling. “I wouldn’t have missed it. I had fun.”
“Yeah,” I said. Tara looked up at me. Her green eyes stared deeply into mine, and my heart raced. My breathing became more and more ragged as we stood there looking at each other.
I took a step forward without realizing it. My body took over for me. Before I knew what was happening, I leaned down and pressed my lips lightly against Tara’s. She inhaled sharply but didn’t pull away. After a few seconds, I felt her body melt into mine. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back.
When she pulled away, it was just for a second. She took a quick step backward and blinked. She looked down like she couldn’t believe what just happened. Then, she threw her arms back around me and kissed me again. My hands found her hips, and I pulled her against me. I deepened the kiss, letting my tongue slide inside her mouth. She moaned softly against my lips.
That sound was enough to drive me insane. I moved toward the front door, dragging her with me. I pushed open the door, and we hurried inside, still locked in an embrace. I closed the door softly, trying not to wake Paisley. Tara’s hands moved wildly over my body.
“Come on,” I breathed, pulling away from her slightly.
Tara nodded and took my hand. I led her through the living room and into the back hallway. We tiptoed past Paisley’s room and disappeared into mine.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Tara
When the door of Sean’s bedroom swung closed, he wasted no time. He pulled me against him and held me tightly. His lips worked furiously against mine. I melted. While he kissed me, I let my hands roam all over his body. I grasped frantically at his back, running my nails down across his shirt. When I reached his waist line, I tucked my fingers beneath the hem of his shirt and quickly pulled it over his head.
Sean’s kisses never slowed. I raked my fingers down his chest and his stomach, finally feeling the outline of his ab muscles. I groaned deeply. Sean growled and lifted me off my feet. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my fingers tangling in his hair.
He carried me to the bed and laid me back gently. He paused just long enough to look into my eyes. It was dark in his bedroom, but his blue eyes shined brightly. I lost myself in them. I pulled him back to me, kissing him with a passion I’d never felt before. My legs were still wrapped around his waist and I could feel him growing harder by the second. I wanted to feel more of him.
Reaching down, I unbuttoned his jeans and tugged at them. Sean got the hint and sat up quickly. He shook his jeans off and threw them to the floor. I stared at him above me. He wore nothing but boxers now. I’d never seen anyone so sexy in my entire life. I raked my hands down his chest again, wanting to savor the moment for as long as possible.
“Your turn,” he whispered roughly. I grinned and let him pull me up.
On my knees, Sean lifted my blouse over my head. He let it fall and slid his hands around my back. He brushed my bare skin lightly as he unhooked my bra. I let it slide off my breasts and onto the bed. Sean’s eyes were hungry as he watched me.
He grabbed me roughly and pushed me over backward. His lips found mine again, and he kissed me with such ferocity that I was soon breathless. When he finally broke away, I gasped for air. He licked his way down my neck, making me shiver with pleasure. When he reached my breasts, I was wiggling with desire. His tongue flicked over my nipple, and I bit my lip to keep from moaning. Everything he did lit my body on fire.
I reached down to push my shorts off my legs. Sean helped me, but his mouth never left my breasts. While he teased me, his hand gripped my leg tightly. He slid his hand up my naked thigh, stopping when he met my panties. I silently begged him to keep going.
Sean moved his face back to mine. He used one hand to brush my curls off my face before he kissed me. His other hand traced a line down my chest and my stomach. He slid his hand inside my panties, his fingers lightly tickling my clit. At his touch, I came alive. My hips rocked uncontrollably, and I grabbed his face with my hands.
I kissed him hard while he worked furiously between my legs. It felt so good I wanted to scream. I pulled away from his lips and threw my head back, biting my lip hard.
“God, you look so good when you do that,” Sean groaned, burying his face in my neck and moving his fingers even faster.
“I’m trying not to scream,” I said weakly.
“I would give anything to hear you scream,” he whispered in my ear. I moaned at his words and pushed him down onto his back. I straddled him and flipped my hair to the side. He grabbed my hips as I lowered myself down to kiss him. I kissed him again and again, finally working my way down his body. I reached his boxers and slid them off slowly. He trembled with desire when I looked back at him. I grinned and lowered my mouth to his erection.
My tongue trailed along the length of him before I took him in my mouth. He moaned and wrapped his fingers in my hair.
“Oh my god,” he groaned softly. I worked on him slowly, just wanting to tease him. His legs shook beneath me, and I held onto his thighs tightly.
When he couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed me roughly and threw me back down on the bed. I exhaled sharply while he tore my panties from my body.
“I want you,” he growled, attacking my breasts with his mouth once again.
I breathed heavily and wrapped one leg around his waist. I could feel how hard he was as he pressed himself between my legs.
“You can have me,” I whispered.
Sean growled again and positioned himself above me. His blue eyes locked with mine, and he slid inside me. My back arched as he moved deeper. He filled me up quickly, watching my face the entire time.
When he started moving, it was slow and patient. He leaned forward so I could run my hands along his chest while he thrusted. Every cell in my body was alive with desire. I had never wanted anyone more than I wanted Sean.
Our bodies moved together slowly, taking our time to really enjoy each other. The longer we went, the faster we moved until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I lifted myself up and gently directed Sean onto his back. I positioned myself on top of him and rode him hard. I arched my back and threw my head back while I moved. Sean held onto my hips with a vicelike grip and moaned. He was so loud that I quickly put my finger in his mouth to quiet him.
He sucked on my finger as I came down harder and harder on top of him. His body tensed up, and I knew he was close. I could feel my own orgasm coming. I moved even faster, riding him harder than ever. When I finished, an electric shock went through my entire body, and I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. All I wanted was to scream out a cry of pleasure.
Sean wasn’t far behind me. His legs shook roughly, and I fell against him. My hair covered his face, but he didn’t care. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to his chest. We both breathed heavily, holding onto each other for dear life. I never wanted the moment to end.
But it did.
We sat up slowly, still catching our breath. I laid back against Sean’s pillows and put my arms over my face. My body felt sweaty and weak, but I knew I had to move. I couldn’t fall asleep. Not there.
When I could move, I pushed myself to my feet and started collecting my clothes. Sean was still lying on the bed with his eyes closed. He heard me moving and sat up quickly.
“Where are you going?” he asked, worry in his voice.
“I should leave,” I said. “I can’t stay here.”
“Why not?” Sean asked. “It�
�s okay. Just stay the night. It’s late.”
“I know,” I said. I shook my head. “But Paisley shouldn’t find me here in the morning. How would you explain that to her?”
Sean thought about the question for a second, clearly trying to work out a way for me to stay without it causing any problems. I knew he couldn’t and so did he. His face fell and he sighed.
“You’re right,” he said. “I just wish you weren’t.”
“I know,” I said again.
“I wish you could stay,” he whispered. I looked at his face and saw that he was being genuine. He meant what he said. The look in his eyes made my stomach tie itself into a knot. I had to get out of there. Fast.
“Me too,” I said back, but I wasn’t sure I meant it. In that moment, I was no longer sure of anything.
I got dressed quickly, desperate to be alone.
“Be careful,” Sean said. “Drive safe.”
“I will,” I smiled. I glanced back at him as I let myself out of the bedroom. I pulled the door closed softly behind me. When I passed Paisley’s room, I paused to listen. I hoped we hadn’t woken her up. I couldn’t hear anything except her soft, steady breathing. I breathed a sigh of relief and hurried toward the living room. I didn’t stop until I reached the front door.
On the porch, I let the cool night air shake me back to reality. It felt like I emerged from a dream, from a life that wasn’t my own. I could not believe what I had just done.
I hurried toward my car and climbed inside. I turned the ignition and let the air conditioning blow against my face. My cheeks were still red, and I could feel sweat drying on my back. It wasn’t like me to run out after sex. I wasn’t the kind of person to sleep around, and I knew, even then, that Sean wasn’t either.
What happened between us meant something. I didn’t know what, but I knew I’d made a huge mistake. My Saturdays were supposed to be simple. Wake up early. Have breakfast alone. Watch some T.V. Maybe hang out with Niki. Nothing crazy. Nothing exciting. Sean completely blew my plans apart with his invitation, but I still never imagined we would end up in bed together.
