by Holley Trent
“And you’re saying that you’ve let this knot slip?” Tarik asked. “The so-called balloon is gone?”
“Well, maybe not.” Noelle took a step toward them, but Tarik backed her off.
She looked mortified, and she damn well should have been. She’d taken a part of him and had lost it as if it were a set of keys or a cheap sweatshirt. “I … I just need some more time. I’m out of practice with this. I’m sure we all are, right?”
Clarissa’s suddenly red cheeks and tightened jaw hinted that no, they all weren’t. Clarissa would have never lost control of her faculties in such a way, and that was likely one of the reasons why she had been queen.
“Give me some time,” Noelle said. “I’ll get it. I’ll make good on my deal. I always make good on my deals.”
“But what if you can’t?” Jenny whispered.
“I’ll … I will. I swear I will. I said I’d give him his voice back, and I’ll find a way to get it. Don’t worry.”
Don’t worry?
Tamatsu shook his head, incredulous, and slammed his fist against the tabletop. A jagged crack ricocheted down the middle, heaving downward.
Tarik grabbed the table at the edge, propping it up, and the ladies all took a step back.
Tamatsu wanted to hit it again. He wanted to send the fucking thing sailing through the deck door, and for it to splinter into millions of toothpick-sized shards upon impact with the ground. Maybe then, people would see that he was mute, but not numb.
He could still feel.
He wanted to believe Noelle. He’d spent hundreds of years believing that she would do what she’d sworn, because people like them kept their promises.
But he couldn’t believe her anymore.
So he had to go.
If he didn’t go, he’d hurt someone or destroy something, and he’d always been so good at staving off the anger.
He’d never been so angry before.
CHAPTER NINE
Noelle watched Tamatsu vanish in a flash that seemed to suck all the oxygen out of the room yet again.
Shit.
She dragged a hand through her hair and then tugged. “I …”
Her heart beat in triple time and her head felt like it’d been filled with noxious air.
“I …”
Jenny padded over and squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t worry, love, we’ll figure out what happened.”
“I should go find him.” Propping the table end—or ends, rather—atop the back of a chair, Tarik trudged toward his coat, and also to the one Tamatsu had left behind.
“Tarik, perhaps you should give him time,” Clarissa said. “I won’t act as though I know him better than you do, but I think I know him well enough. You may be his oldest friend, but I see things you don’t. I hear things you don’t.”
Tarik closed his eyes and his broad chest expanded with the forceful inhalation he drew in. He let it out and unclenched his fists along with the breath.
“I try to stay out of his head, and yours,” Clarissa said. “But often, your thoughts are loud enough that I can hear them.”
“You probably know more than anyone in this room right now.”
“My albatross to carry, as always. I don’t always know when I should share—when I should interfere.”
“What did you hear from Tamatsu?” Noelle asked. “I know he’s angry, but, do you think—”
Clarissa put up a hand. “Angry might be an understatement. I imagine you felt that way once, when you did what you did.”
Noelle hung her head.
“I understand why you did what you did, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what he is to you.”
So Clarissa understood. Noelle didn’t have to explain their connection because she had the same kind with another of those insufferable creatures.
“I don’t know how that would be possible.” Noelle wrapped her hair into a hasty bun and paced. “To me, the reason for my anger was obvious. We were both there. He saw what I saw.”
“What exactly did you see?” Tarik asked, clutching the coats against his chest. “What sin did my friend commit that would cause you to condemn him to an eternity of silence?”
“He—” Noelle cleared her throat, glanced at the kids playing in the corner, and lowered her voice to say, “He was untrue.”
Tarik raised an incredulous brow.
Noelle paced some more. “I watched for at least half an hour before I made myself seen. There were several of them, and there were naked. What else would they have been doing?”
“Was he aware of the exclusive nature of your relationship?”
“I don’t understand how he couldn’t have been. We’d decided to travel together, just the two of us. Yes, sometimes we allowed others into our company because—”
She withheld the words because they didn’t need to know that, but both she and Tamatsu had been sexually adventurous in those days. Sometimes four hands weren’t enough.
“But I’d gone out to investigate a rumor about an elf in the area, and when I returned a few days later, they were still there. His shamelessness triggered me. He acted like he hadn’t done anything wrong.”
Tarik closed his eyes. He didn’t say anything. He stood stiff as a column, barely breathing.
Noelle looked to Clarissa, who appeared to be meditating on some spot on top of her great-grandchild’s head.
Jenny was just wide-eyed. Terrified, likely. She wouldn’t have known how to navigate such intrigue. She’d been mostly shielded from it during their days in the elf court.
“I won’t go to him.” Tarik finally opened his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ll remain here and stretch my wings as I’ve been invited to do.”
“I believe that’s wise,” Clarissa said.
“She’ll go to him,” he said. “Let them hurl their anger at each other, and at least then, the hostility will land on the parties each thinks deserves it. But before she goes, I must do one thing.” He vanished, leaving the coats behind.
“What is he doing?” Noelle asked.
“They don’t always make their plans so clear,” Clarissa said. “But tell me this. Do you want to fix what you’ve done?”
“Well, of course I do. I made a deal. I don’t renege on deals, and not just because I’m fae. My honor means everything to me.”
“I hoped that’s what you’d say.” Clarissa’s smile was soft. “But have you forgiven him?”
“What are you asking me?”
“You believe he’s yours, and you believe he was untrue.”
“Triply so.”
“He’s not an elf, dear. With creatures as old as him, you must take nothing for granted. You must leave nothing unspoken. I’ve learned that obviousness comes in different shades. What may be perfectly clear to a tethered elf will certainly not look the same to an angel who’s used to going his own way.”
“You make me feel so … petty.”
“I don’t mean to. Listen.” Clarissa took her hand and projected telepathically, “With Gulielmus, I tell him what I need to tell him at the prudent times. Transparency and prudence should always work in tandem. Remember that.”
“I—” Noelle had been about to tell her that she didn’t know how to do that, but she couldn’t get the words out.
Lola had arrived. Her gaze quickly landed on Noelle. “Tarik phoned. You’ll come with me, if you want.”
“I …” Noelle smoothed her thumb over the strap of her tote bag and struggled to meet the goddess’s gaze.
She wanted to go. She was afraid to—afraid of that anger that both she and Tamatsu carried—but she wasn’t a coward. Her breeding precluded cowardice. She’d been born to serve, and to fight, but when she’d lost her queen, she’d lost her way.
She looked to Jenny, ashamed.
Jenny waved her away. “Oh, I’ll be all right here with the kiddies.”
“It’s not that, Jenny. I—”
“Don’t think anything of it, Noe. We all slip up sometime
s. You can’t always be perfect. I’m glad that sometimes you’re not.”
Jenny’s encouragement should have made her feel better but, instead, Noelle felt all the more sour. She was supposed to be the example-setter for the less assertive elves, and yet she continuously committed unforgivable gaffes. She wasn’t quite sure how Clarissa had ever put up with her.
Noelle gave her friends a glance on retreat, hitched her purse strap up to her shoulder as bravely as she could, and let Lola take her by the arm. She muttered to the goddess, “You’re not, like, going to drop me into a fiery hell pit or some such thing, are you?”
“Of course not.” Lola cleared her throat. “That would require me being there as well. I’m sure you’ll find the destination almost as unsettling, though.”
“I guess I can’t change my mind.”
“You could.” Lola made a moue. “Though I imagine that would defeat the purpose of this entire ordeal.”
Noelle cringed and then dragged her tongue across her lips. Matte lipstick was so drying. “All right. I’m ready.” Fortunately for Noelle’s nervous stomach, Lola was far better at transporting people from one spot to the next than Tarik. Noelle didn’t even feel the urge to retch when they landed on the other end.
They were in the desert.
She looked up at the jutting mountains not too far in the distance and the utter nothingness in front of her and to her right. Behind her was an old Airstream trailer.
She gave Lola a querying look.
Lola clapped some dust off her long peasant skirt and pushed up an eloquent eyebrow.
“Where are we? Somewhere in the Americas would be my only guess. Look of the mountains isn’t right quite right for outback.”
“New Mexico again. We’re about fifty miles from Maria.”
Noelle nodded. “So, this is …”
“Yes.”
“And I should just …”
“You may go about this endeavor in the manner in which you see fit. Do know that if you require an escort back into the range of normal transportation, I will be unable to assist.”
“Due to non-interference rules?”
Lola shook her head gravely. “No, because Tarik asked me not to. I may change my mind, but you shouldn’t count on me doing so.”
“Understood.” Noelle looked over her shoulder at the silver trailer once more. Some desert grass had grown beneath, the hitch had rusted, and the tires were beyond flat. She didn’t see wheel marks in the earth. Someone must have parked the trailer ages ago. “Of all places,” she muttered.
“Perhaps not as refined as you’ve come to be used to, however it is where he is now. I have done my job. Now I must depart.”
Nodding, Noelle rooted her phone out of her purse. “Well, I have this. I’ll call if I need anything, I guess.” She rattled off a text message to Jenny. Jenny would want to know where she was.
I’m somewhere in New Mexico. Not dead yet, but the day is young.
Jenny responded with,
Oh, no. Be positive.
“Unlikely.” Noelle snorted and tucked the phone away.
Lola nodded her farewell, and then vanished.
Noelle turned squarely toward the trailer, straightened her spine, and took a deep breath. “All right, then. You’ve faced worse.”
Dragons, even, before they went extinct. The extinction part wasn’t her fault. If anything, they’d have to blame themselves for the condition. They shouldn’t have gone around trying to eat people.
She put one foot in front of another, regretting her choice of heels. She could have worn something practical like ballet flats or even some of those disposable pedicure flip-flops. Pausing, she stepped out of her stilettos. All things considered, she preferred ruined pantyhose to blistered feet.
She dropped one shoe into her oversized tote and stepped tenderly across the broken, arid ground. She’d always thought the desert floor resembled the aftermath of millions of little earthquakes breaking the surface into miniature canyons. The ground crunched as she stepped, the top layer cracking as she disturbed the salt and other things that preserved the ecosystem.
Nearly at the door, she was trying to drop her second shoe into her tote when she heard the screech like a massive mosquito diving toward her.
“Oh, isn’t that my fuckin’ luck.”
She would have preferred a mosquito. She recognized that annoying fish-head sound, though she hadn’t heard the noise since the last time she’d been near Tamatsu.
“Are you kidding me?” she shouted toward the Airstream. “You haven’t fixed this yet?”
No answer, of course.
“You stubborn bastard.” Keeping her eyes on the slack-jawed fishy thing, she reached for the knife she kept tucked into the base of her bag. She didn’t have time to get the holding clasp free. The creature was already on her, and her reflexes kicked in.
The disturbance hurtled down from a weak fissure between realms. She sliced her stiletto through its ghostly form and pushed outward the little magic she could muster up on such short notice.
The thing solidified at the bombardment. She could kill things that had flesh and blood. Ghostly things, she could only annoy.
Stunned, the fish head squirmed on the ground.
She didn’t give it time to make a recovery. She finally got her knife free of the clasp and had the blade thrust between the dark hollows of its eyeholes before it could float up again.
She rolled her eyes at the resulting squeal, and thunked the side of its head with her shoe.
It went still against the ground, then the noise stopped and blood seeped from what was left of the carcass.
She scooted back a couple of feet away from the mess. The thirsty desert would absorb some of the gore. The buzzards would likely get the rest, assuming that thing tasted enough like food. She had no idea.
“Ugh.” Tossing her ruined shoe onto the ground, she shouted at the Airstream, “You’re welcome.” She rooted a wet wipe out of her bag to clean her knife’s blade with. The shoe had actually been more expensive than the knife, but she could replace the shoe if it turned out to be uncleanable. The knife had been a gift from someone she wasn’t on speaking terms with at the moment. Angel-forged blades weren’t so easy to come by.
As she wiped the knife, she scanned the sky for any other disturbances. Hungry creatures like the one she’d killed had to work very hard to move between realms, but they were like sharks smelling a drop of blood in a vast expanse of water. Tamatsu had picked up a curse that caused his energy to taste very alluring to the things.
Or something.
Tamatsu had explained the phenomenon to her, once. She couldn’t quite remember all the details, though in her opinion, she had a pretty good excuse for being distracted. He’d been nude and glorious and really hard.
She sighed, and then sighed at her sigh. Noelle wasn’t the sighing kind of lady. She generally left that to Jenny.
She stopped in front of the door of the Airstream, and poised her fist to knock. She was about to strike the dented panel with her knuckles when the window banged open.
Tamatsu leaned outside, looked briefly at Noelle, and then at the bloody carcass behind her.
“I—”
He slammed the window shut.
“Rude.” She knocked on the door. “Listen. Let me make this right. That’s why I’m here.”
Gods.
She hated the way her voice sounded. When she was around other elves, she sounded husky in comparison. The desert and isolation had a way of reminding her that she was a small woman with an occasionally … perhaps often … grating voice.
She knocked again. “I’m sure you don’t want to do me any favors right now, but if we work together, we can figure something out. We can pool knowledge like we used to. Remember?”
There was rattling inside the camper, and heavy footsteps, but not nearer to the door. If anything, he was moving away.
She groaned and plopped her ass onto the concrete blocks that
acted as stairs by the door.
Reaching behind her, she knocked once more. “Do you have a generator? Is there electricity in there? I’m going to need to charge my phone, especially if I’m going to have to hobble across the desert in one shoe to get back to civilization.”
A minute or so later, the window opened barely an inch, but that was enough for Tamatsu to dangle a long brown extension cord through the gap.
“Thanks, I guess.”
She unwound the charger cord from its spool and plugged in, scanning the sky yet again. If her memory served her correctly, she wouldn’t need to worry about another of those things making her a target anytime soon. Her understanding was that they weren’t particularly prolific breeders, but that may have been another thing she’d misheard. Again, Tamatsu had been nude, and he’d had his fingers in her. They’d had a bad habit of saving all their serious talks for when one or both of them were horizontal.
Snorting, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “That’s probably why we can’t have a conversation right now, isn’t it?” she said to the window. “We don’t know how to talk when we’re upright.”
That actually wasn’t a good excuse, either. The man had infinite strength. They’d done plenty of “talking” while upright. Standing, even. He had wonderfully muscled forearms.
She set her phone on the tiny windowsill and, once again, she looked to the sky. The Airstream was shielding her from the sun’s rays for the time being. Within an hour, though, she’d be crispy as a pork rind. Elves were from a foggy realm accessed from a very northern country. They had no innate defenses against sunburn, and even having lived in Vegas for so many years hadn’t forced her body to adjust to the conditions. She’d need centuries for that.
Remembering Clarissa’s golden tan, she frowned and muttered, “I bet she went straight for the warmest place she could find.” She finished cleaning and drying her knife, and then strapped the blade beneath her purse once more. Then, she sat on the steps, tapping her toes against the dirt and drumming her fingers against her thighs.
She needed a plan. Once, she’d been better at making plans on the fly, but she was dealing with Tamatsu, and she’d never been especially rational where he was concerned. Supposedly, being tethered to him would change that in time—he’d ground her and make her more logical. He’d compensate for the messy parts of her.
