by Janice Lynn
“I’m better now,” Joss told him with heavy eyes. “Lots better.”
He started to respond, but realized Joss’s eyes had closed and he’d dozed back off. Quietly, Trace stood, turned to leave Joss’s room and noticed Chrissie, crying, in the doorway.
She waited until they were both back in the living room, then said, “I want you in his life, Trace. He wants you in his life. Whenever you’re home, between your assignments, whenever it’s safe for him and me to visit you, we want you in our lives.”
Heart pounding, he shook his head. “It’s too complicated.”
Staring at him from where she stood just in front of him, she frowned. “What’s too complicated? You and me?”
“I meant him. Me. Everything.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I shouldn’t have taken him away from here that day, or even attempted to watch him on my own. You were right. I’ve never been good at taking care of someone.”
She shook her head. “No, I was wrong. You should have been with him. You have just as much right to look after him as I do. Please forgive me for thinking otherwise. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
He shook his head. “Thank you for taking care of him, Chrissie.”
She sucked in a deep breath and stared up at him. “You’re leaving aren’t you?”
She made it sound as if that were something horrible. He knew better. “I can’t stay.”
“Please don’t go.”
“Because of what Joss said?”
She shook her head, then took a deep breath and stepped to him, put her hand on his cheek. “Because of you and me.”
“There is no ‘you and me,’” he reminded her. There wasn’t. Just two beautiful weekends that had been like fairy-tale blips in reality.
She flinched, then straightened her shoulders. “I don’t believe you, Trace. There’s been a ‘you and me’ from the moment I first met you four years ago and I thought you were the most attractive man I’d ever met. I wanted you then,” she admitted. She took a deep breath. “I want you now.”
With that, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.
* * *
What was she doing? Chrissie wondered for the hundredth time. She shouldn’t be kissing Trace.
Yes, she should, an inner voice argued. She should be kissing him every day for the rest of her life. Not that that was what he wanted.
He must not even want her anymore because he wasn’t returning her kiss.
Then he was.
Not just returning her kiss but taking control of the kiss. Kissing her hard and full and with need.
A need she welcomed because she needed him.
Between kisses, he shook his head. “I’m no good for you and Joss.”
She palmed his cheeks, making him look at her. “Why would you say that?”
“Because of what happened.”
“Trace, his appendix ruptured. That wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry for what I said at the hospital. I was scared, and wrong, and shouldn’t have said any of those nasty things because they weren’t true. I know that now. You got Joss the help he needed. You got him to the hospital. You did what needed to be done and our son is in there in his bed, healthy and sleeping.”
“I’m his father. It’s my job to protect him. I didn’t.”
“Ha. I second-guess myself when it comes to raising him every single day. I do the best I can, but I know there are so many things that I just do the best I can and hope it’s enough. Now I know it’s not. Like when I said I didn’t want him to stay alone with you. I was wrong, Trace.”
“This isn’t the first time this has happened, Chrissie. I let Kerry die, too.”
Horror gripped her. “Bud and Agnes’s daughter? I thought she died of cancer?”
Raking his fingers through his hair, Trace then massaged his temple. “I was the last person with her before she slipped into a coma. She never woke back up.”
Wondering at the pain inside him, Chrissie sank onto the sofa with a plop. “What happened?”
“She was on hospice, was dying. Someone sat with her around the clock. One minute she was talking with me, the next she closed her eyes, and never woke back up. I thought she was sleeping but she was dying.”
“That wasn’t your fault, Trace. No more than what happened to Joss was your fault.”
“He told me his belly hurt and I thought he just wanted you so I kept trying to distract him. I forced him to leave here and to go with me. I never gave credence that his belly might really hurt.”
She grimaced. “You didn’t know.”
“I should have. You would have.” He paced across the room, turned, gave her a pained look. “I’ll give you money.”
She felt sucker punched. “I don’t want money.”
“What do you want?”
Time for the truth. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she had to do it. Had to say it.
“You.”
He just stared at her.
“Did you hear me, Trace? I want you. In my life, my house, my bed,” she continued, letting her emotions pour out of her. “I want you. All of you.”
“I...” His voice trailed off. “Why?”
“Are you kidding me?” When he didn’t respond she knew he was serious. “Because...” She could tell him how wonderful she thought he was, how handsome, how sexy, how smart and funny. But none of that was what came out of her mouth. “Because I’ve never stopped wanting you and I don’t think I ever will.”
His gaze searched hers. “What are you saying?”
She gulped back the big bundle of nerves threatening to choke her. “I’m in love with you, Trace.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
Which wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Her heart fell.
“You don’t have to say anything.” She turned away from him, not willing to let him see the big fat tears welling up in her eyes. “I just needed to tell you how I felt, that I wanted you in my and Joss’s life. I was so angry at you for just leaving us. There’s so much I haven’t told you.” She turned to face him, scared to admit what she was about to say, words she really hadn’t spoken once social services and the police had finished questioning her all those years ago. “My father kidnapped me from my mother. I thought you were doing the same thing that day with Joss. That’s why I couldn’t hold in my emotions and hurt and fear. I’d wanted to trust you, Trace, and I’d been afraid to, and felt you’d confirmed my worst fears.”
His look of horror reflected all she already knew deep in her heart about the man standing in front of her.
“I just wanted to spend the day with him, just me and him. I wanted him to have fun with me, to enjoy being with me, to need me.”
He winced. “I shouldn’t have taken him. You were right to lash out at me.”
“You weren’t stealing him from me, Trace. You were trying to forge a relationship with him that my paranoia was interfering with.”
“He’s yours, Chrissie. Is that what you want to hear me say? You’re his mother and he needs you. I know that.”
“He’s yours, too, Trace. You’re his father and he needs you, too. I know that now,” she admitted, believing it with all her heart. “That’s why I called Agnes, because I wanted to come to Atlanta to tell you how sorry I am, to beg you to forgive me for not telling you about him, for not trusting you with him, for all the mistakes I’ve made.” She put her hands over her face, wiped at the wetness. “I’m sorry Agnes tricked you into coming here.”
Trace was nothing like her father. He was the best man she’d ever met. She’d created issues where there had been none, had let fear poison her judgment. How could Trace ever forgive her?
How could Joss ever forgive her when she explained to him that his daddy had left
because of her mistakes?
“I’m not.”
Chrissie lifted her gaze to Trace’s, waited for him to tell her how foolish she was, how he could never forgive how deceitful and mistrusting she’d been.
“I love you, Chrissie,” he said instead, almost dropping her to the floor. “Thinking of you, of being with you in Atlanta is what got me through the hell I went through overseas. When I saw you again a few weeks ago, you were as sweet as I remembered. I’m sorry for what your father did to you, Chrissie. I can’t even imagine the hell you and your mother must have gone through. I’d never do that to you or Joss. Never.”
Chrissie’s insides shook at the sincerity in his voice, at the sincerity shining in his eyes as he gazed down at her.
“He’s beautiful, Chrissie. I’d say the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, but I’d be lying.” He cupped her face. “I’m looking at the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. You.”
He kissed her again. This time slower, more passionately, and she kissed him back with her all, not quite believing the things he’d said.
“Am I dreaming?” she asked, wondering if she should pinch herself. “Are you really here?”
He brushed his thumb across her cheek. “If you’re dreaming, I’m having the same dream.”
“So what happens now?” she asked, not quite sure what everything they’d said up to that point meant.
“What do you want to happen?”
His question was a no-brainer. She didn’t have to think on it even a millisecond. She knew exactly what she wanted.
“I want you to stay here, Trace, with me and Joss forever.” She took a deep breath. “But I know you’re committed to leaving. Soon. If the need is within you to live in some war-torn, impoverished country, we’ll go with you.” She met his gaze. “That is, if you want us to.”
“You know I do.” When he kissed her again, she had to agree. She did know. It was there. In his kiss. In his touch. In the way he was looking at her.
“But maybe it’s time I rethink going back overseas.”
“A week before leaving? I don’t want you to give up something you love for me.”
“If I left you and Joss, I would be giving up things I love. I’m not going back with DAW.”
She couldn’t believe what he was saying. She wanted this man happy, to do whatever it took to make his life complete.
“I’m glad, but I was serious,” she assured him. “We’ll go wherever you are.”
“Chattanooga isn’t so far away from Atlanta, Chrissie. Maybe we could spend time in both cities. That way Joss could know both sets of his grandparents.”
Happiness burst through her whole being.
“And his grand-godparents,” she added, thinking of Bud and Agnes.
“They’ll spoil him. They’ve been waiting for years for me to give them grandchildren.” He gave her a serious look. “They’ll insist upon more.”
“More? You mean—?” Chrissie’s breath caught “—you want more children? But I thought...”
“The thought terrifies me in many ways, but, yes, I want more kids. With you. Brothers and sisters for Joss.”
She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “Oh, Trace. I do love you!”
He laughed. “Good. Now about those brothers and sisters...”
EPILOGUE
“NO, DON’T YOU dare pick up that box of supplies,” Agnes ordered when Chrissie bent to pick up a box.
Not that Chrissie had actually done much bending.
Her body just wasn’t cooperating these days. Not with her belly in the way.
Her very round, very pregnant belly.
“You sound like my husband,” she accused, wanting to help more than she knew they were going to let her.
“Yeah? I hear he’s an amazing man,” Trace said, coming up behind her and patting her bottom, then giving her a more serious look. “How are you holding up?”
“Fine.”
“You’re not too tired?”
“Trace, the event hasn’t even started yet.”
“I just think you should have sat this year out and stayed at my parents’ place with Joss.”
“And encroached on his time with his Gramps and Grammie?” she asked. “I don’t think so. They’ve been looking forward to taking him to the Atlanta Aquarium for weeks. He loves it so much! I can’t believe your dad arranged a sleepover there.”
Trace grinned. “I told you they’d spoil him.”
But his voice was light, happy. Although she knew Trace and his father hadn’t seen eye to eye most of his adult life, they’d come to a peace from the time they’d flown to Chattanooga together, thinking they were going to save Joss’s life.
Instead, they’d saved Chrissie.
Saved her from a life with part of her heart missing.
“Just as you spoil me,” she accused, wrapping her arms around his neck, but unable to pull him as close as she’d like due to her belly between them.
He leaned forward, dropped a kiss on her lips, then cupped her stomach. “You’re the one who has spoiled me.”
“You just keep thinking that and I’ll know the truth,” she teased, as she often did. The truth was, they were both spoiled by the happiness they’d found together.
A happiness that came from deep within and shined outward for the whole world to see and feel its warmth.
A happiness that was love.
The kind that would last forever.
And did.
* * * * *
If you enjoyed this story, check out these other great reads from Janice Lynn
THE NURSE’S BABY SECRET
IT STARTED AT CHRISTMAS...
SIZZLING NIGHTS WITH DR OFF-LIMITS
WINTER WEDDING IN VEGAS
All available now!
Keep reading for an excerpt from REFORMING THE PLAYBOY by Karin Baine.
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Reforming the Playboy
by Karin Baine
CHAPTER ONE
IF ALIENS HAD landed in the middle of this rural Northern Irish town and declared her their new supreme leader, Charlotte Michaels couldn’t have been any more surprised than she was now.
‘Hunter Torrance? The Hunter Torrance is the new team physiotherapist?’
Although he was standing there, casting a shadow over her, she didn’t quite believe it. Didn’t want to believe it.
The Ballydolan Demons was her team, her responsibility, and having ice hockey’s most infamous bad boy on board wasn’t going to dig them out of the hole they were in.
‘Yes. Deal with it, Charlie. We need him.’ Gray Sinclair, the head coach, delivered the news and strode away, leaving her face-to-face with the new signing in the arena corridor. She’d been on her way to watch the team train when the pair had ambushed her and literally stopped her in her tracks.
‘Hunter Torrance, the new physio. For now. I guess my future employment will be dependent on results.’ The latest addition to the team held out his hand as he introduced himself but she wasn’t inclined to shake it until someone convinced her this wasn’t some sort of sick joke.
‘Like everything around here,’ she muttered. He wasn’t the only one on trial. This was her first season as team doctor, and so far, with the list of injuries they had, a run of poor results and the last physiotherapist quitting on short notice, it could be her last too.
With a build more like a willow tree than the mighty oaks usually associated with the sport, she’d worked hard to be taken seriously but now they’d landed her with a sidekick who still held the UK Ice Hockey League record for most time spent in the sin bin she was worried the professionalism of the medical staff would be in jeopardy. The ex-Demons player had undermined the team’s position in the league once before and she wouldn’t sit back and let him do it again. In any capacity.
He smiled at her then, even as she ignored his offer of friendship. It was a slow, lazy grin, revealing the boyish dimples which had made him a pin-up for many a girl around here. Her included. If someone had told her at eighteen she’d be working alongside this one-time NHL hunk some day she would’ve died with happiness. Now the sight of him here was liable to make her forget she was a strong, independent career woman and not that same vulnerable teen. Something she had no time for nine years on.
He hadn’t changed much in that time, at least not physically. Although this was probably the closest she’d ever been to him without the Perspex partition separating the players from the fans. He was still as handsome as ever, only now the pretty boy-band looks had morphed into the age-appropriate man-band version. Those green eyes still sparkled beneath long, sooty lashes, his dark hair was thick and wavy, if longer than she remembered, and he was dressed in a black wool coat, tailored blue shirt and jeans rather than the familiar black and red Demons kit. Damn but he’d aged well; the mature look suited him. It was a shame she could barely look at him without the abject humiliation of her past feelings for him spoiling the view.
