“Uterus?” Keely repeated, adding, “Ew!”
“Wait a minute,” Lyssa turned to Haynes and then tried to imagine him with black hair and... “You cannot be serious! I mean, an evil twin? Really?”
“Right on both counts,” Haynes confirmed, keeping his eyes on his brother’s image.
“That’s a little harsh coming from someone so recently domiciled in Srindar Djem and wanted for a variety of crimes in several star systems,” Morrison pointed out.
“I may break the law...”
“May?” Keely prodded before she could stop herself.
“All right I break the law,” Haynes amended, “ But he takes it to an abandoned warehouse and puts three bullets in its head.”
“Much as I like a teary family reunion, what do you want?” Lyssa got to the point.
“I like her,” Morrison said before his towering gaze shifted to her. She did not flinch under it’s magnified power. “I, like so many other people, want my dear brother.”
Haynes snorted.
“More specifically, I want him back in Srindar Djem. That is what I have been paid a suitably huge amount of money to achieve.”
“And you take no personal pleasure in this at all?” Haynes sneered.
“Oh no, I take a good deal of personal pleasure in this,” Morrison admitted, “as well as professional pride so please don’t try any of your juvenile psychology on me.”
“And if I refuse to come quietly?” Haynes challenged him.
“Then you can remain on your ship with your harem until your air runs out.”
“Hey!!” Lyssa objected.
“Bugger off!” was Keely’s less ladylike response.
“How dare you?” the computer asked, scandalised.
“What are you complaining for?” Haynes asked the computer.
“I just thought I should show sisterly solidarity,” the computer replied sheepishly.
“You can’t be their sister. You’re not female, or even hum...” He calmed himself down quickly. “You know what, forget it.”
“And what if we refuse to let him go?” Keely demanded.
“The client paid me to return him to Srindar Djem. The state of his health was not specified.”
Keely frowned, “And you’d kill innocent people for what? For money?”
“An obscenely huge amount of money,” Morrison qualified. “And if you are travelling with my brother then I expect you left innocence behind you quite some time ago.”
“But he’s your brother,” Keely wailed, thinking of Simeon and what it would take to make her betray him. She came up blank.
“An accident of genetics for which I can hardly be held accountable.”
“It’s no use trying to bargain with him,” Haynes told his companions. “When it came to the egg-splitting I got all the compassion.”
“Hard though that is to believe,” Lyssa muttered.
Haynes squared up his shoulders and turned back to the viewscreen. “All right,” he told the magnified image of his brother, “despite the fact that I can see right up your nose to back of your skull, I surrender. I’ll come quietly, but give them enough power back for life support. Now.”
“You are in no position to bargain,” Morrison pointed out simply.
“I’m not bargaining,” Haynes countered, “merely asking.”
“No.”
“You know what my word means to me,” Haynes looked his brother in the overlarge eye.
Morrison considered him for a long moment and just when Haynes was sure that he wasn’t going to go for it he finally nodded, “Agreed, but if you try anything the consequences for your friends will be terminal.”
“I understand,” Haynes nodded, “but it’ll take me a couple of minutes to get suited up. I’m not exactly experienced at space walking.”
“No tricks,” Morrison warned again.
“Like a meeting of Magicians Anonymous,” Haynes promised, heading towards the exit followed by Lyssa and Keely. When they emerged into the corridor outside, he started talking rapidly. “Computer, if you took all the power back out of life support, could you get the engines to start, just a quick burst?”
“Yes, but barely for a second,” was the reply. “You won’t get very far.”
“Away from here though and maybe far enough to get out of range of his impossible energy cancelling field,” he ignored the irritated expression on Lyssa’s face. This was the kind of situation that he thrived on, a dangerous challenge that only his wits could overcome and he admitted to himself that he was enjoying the challenge.
“You’ve got a plan,” Lyssa said. “You’re actually enjoying this aren’t you?”
“Hey with the telepathy!” he complained.
“I don’t need telepathy, I just need to look at your face.”
He grinned, “I have a plan. One quick jump and we get power back and then...”
“But he’ll just see which way we went and follow us won’t he?” Keely queried.
“Quite right,” he agreed, his pace speeding up to match his thought processes, “so we need to distract him from his instruments at just the right moment.”
“You promised no tricks,” Lyssa pointed out.
“I lied.”
“But you gave him that whole bit about what your word means to you.”
“My brother is a cold-hearted, merciless and very effective killer, but he does have a code of ethics - twisted for sure, but ethics nonetheless. I have never killed anyone in my life, but have no ethics to speak of. Lyssa, go see how much juice you can squeeze out of life support into the engines. Keely go and tell my brother to get ready for me. This is going to take great timing.”
Haynes hadn’t been joking about his lack of expertise with spacewalking. Getting the spacesuit sealed would have proved a lot simpler with a helping hand, but he didn’t want Lyssa or, more importantly, Keely to see what he was planning. Once he was ready he opened the hatch (manually since there wasn’t enough power to work the mechanisms) and warned his brother, “Here I come.”
“Oh bugger,” he added as a boot caught on the edge of the airlock and turned what should have been a straightforward float between the two vessels into a tumbling, whirling nightmare. “This is not good, not good at all.”
On his viewscreen, Morrison saw the pinwheeling figure and backed his ship off a few hundred feet to ensure that it was better positioned to ensure that his brother sailed right into the airlock. That it meant he would spin a few more times before coming to rest was an added bonus.
“How do you work this?” Haynes complained over the steady hiss of the air supply. “God I hate these things.”
“Do nothing to alter your course and I will collect you,” Morrison ordered.
“As if I could do anything to alter my course,” Haynes grumbled. “I think I’m starting to feel sick.”
“I would not advise throwing up in a spacesuit,” Keely’s concerned voice came over the radio. “Seriously.”
“It wouldn’t be my first choice either,” he assured her. Taking a quick glance, he winced, “Oof!”
“That must have hurt,” Keely said sympathetically.
“Not so much,” he told her, “but I don’t think I can move.”
“Are you OK?” Keely asked in concern.
“No, not really,” he told her. “I can’t move, my head’s still spinning and I really think I’m going to be sick.”
“Get him out!” Keely yelled, making Haynes flinch in aural pain.
“I don’t take orders, girl,” Morrison said, coldly.
“But you will be cleaning up the mess,” she pointed out, “not to mention smelling it throughout that dinky toy ship of yours for quite some time.”
There was some scuffling on the radio as Morrison reluctantly stood up and then the connection was terminated. Haynes switched over to the suit mike and heard the hissing as the seals were broken. He tensed. The moment was approaching.
There was a sound of retchin
g over the airwaves.
“Computer now!”
The ship lurched into hyperspace and then dropped straight back out again as the power failed. Haynes struggled to keep his feet.
“Is that it?” he demanded, staggering towards the control deck.
“Think you can do any better?” the computer demanded. “You’re welcome to step outside and try.”
“Haynes?” Keely asked quizzically. “Where are you?”
“Still on board,” he told her, entering the room and setting about removing the spacesuit.
“But I saw you tumble into that airlock,” she continued, confused.
“No,” he contradicted her, “you saw Crump tumble into that airlock, but then I suppose one man in a spacesuit looks much like any other.”
“You sent Dennis over there?” Keely demanded.
“Absolutely, stench and all,” Haynes confirmed. “Proved to be an effective diversion.”
“Your brother could kill him!”
“Better him than me,” Haynes pointed out.
“That’s cold man,” Keely accused him. “Remind me, which one of you is the evil twin again?”
“It worked, that’s all that matters. Computer, how’s the power doing?”
“Building nicely. We’ll have a stable hyperspace jump in....What in the name of nanochips...?”
“What’s going on?” Haynes demanded.
“Power’s gone again,” the computer reported.
The screen lit up to display Morrison’s face again. It was expressionless in the same way as a glacier just before it crushed your entire family. “Did you think I wouldn’t tag your ship the instant I found you??”
“Did you think that I wouldn’t count on it?” Haynes bluffed desperately without a moment’s thought.
“You are all out of tricks,” Morrison stated, but Haynes noticed with satisfaction that he quickly scanned his instruments first, “and I am out of patience.”
“He’s charging weapons,” the computer reported.
“No, OK I’ll come quietly,” Haynes begged urgently. “No tricks.”
“I do not believe you,” Morrison answered flatly.
“If you’re interested, I have no defensive capability whatsoever,” the computer warned. “A pea shooter could hurt us in this state.”
“There’s no need to kill them,” Haynes insisted.
“There was no need,” Morrison agreed.
“His weapons are up,” the computer declared. “Five seconds.”
“You’ll lose your trophy,” Haynes tried.
“Four.”
“The fee is still substantial.”
“Three.”
“Your reputation...”
“Two.”
“Still intact.”
“One.”
“Oh, bollo...”
The world went white.
PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
“Ow that was bloody loud! It hurt.” the computer complained bitterly.
On the screen where there had been a small, horribly weaponed spaceship there was now a huge horribly weaponed spaceship.
Haynes slowly unwound himself from around Keely and quickly took stock of the situation, “Wha..?”
“We’re in space,” Keely pointed out with a certain measure of uncertainty. “How could it be loud? In space nobody can hear you... well anything.”
“If all you’re listening to is sound,” the computer replied snootily. “I’ve got power coming back by the way.”
“Great, jump us away!”
“No please don’t go,” a pleasant voice said over the comms system. “It would be a shame to have put in so much effort saving you only to have to destroy you.”
“Yes it would wouldn’t it?: Haynes agreed, adding “Hello?”
“Hello,” Lyssa responded striding into the room. “You know, that was cold sending Crump over there instead of you.”
“That’s what I said,” Keely agreed. “Cold.”
“This Crump wouldn’t be a rather aromatic gentleman would he?” the radio voice asked pleasantly.
“How would you know that?” Keely asked excitedly.
“There was a small vessel that left rather hurriedly when we arrived, leaving behind a young man with an unfortunate smell adrift in a spacesuit.”
“Erm, and no offence intended in view of your recent appearance, but who are you?”
“Oh come on, Haynes!” Lyssa strode across the room and slapped one hand on the image of the ship, “These are Starnova space drive nacelles,” she quickly totted them up, “eighteen of them. There’s only one ship in existence that has more than two and that’s the Presidential yacht.”
Haynes eyed the gun emplacements and heavy blast armour, “Yacht huh?”
“Isn’t she a thing of beauty?” Lyssa stepped back to admire the view. “One hundred percent pure brute.”
“It’s not the power in the thrust but the smoothness of the ride,” the computer muttered.
“So they’re here for the President?” Keely’s eyes were wide and round enough for Haynes to wonder what was left holding them in.
“No,” the pleasant voice interjected, “I am the President.”
“The President, as in the Galactic President?” Keely’s knees buckled and she sank to the acceleration couch.
“Quite so,” the pleasant voice of the President continued.
“OK, so now we know who you are, what are you doing here?” Haynes demanded, unawed.
“Apart from saving your lives?” the President asked expansively and they could all hear the indulgent smile he was doubtlessly wearing.
“Well yes.”
“Not that we’re ungrateful,” Lyssa put in quickly, “because we wouldn’t want to seem ungrateful.”
“That would be appropriate,” the President remarked, “except that it would appear that I have reason to be grateful to you too.”
“The Halreptor thing?” Keely was thrilled. “You heard about that?”
“With the Halreptor Queen broadcasting peace overtures on every conceivable waveband? Everyone in the galaxy has heard about it,” the President pointed out.
“Still, you didn’t get here this fast without being pretty near here anyway,” Haynes pointed out in return.
“Couldn’t I be on my way to a certain party in the Bliss system?” the President’s voice objected. “A certain party I believe you have already attended.”
“Quite possibly,” Lyssa allowed, “except that anyone who watches the society pages knows that the President doesn’t do parties. In fact, the pressures of running the Republic means that he is rarely seen anywhere.”
“And, once again, my thanks to serious journalism,” The President replied dryly.
“So why are you here?” Haynes persisted.
“Why, protecting my investment of course,” the President said with urbane good humour.
“Investment?” Keely pressed.
“Well of course,” the President’s voice was edged with pride as he explained. “You don’t think that Mr Haynes here... that is what you’re calling yourself at the moment isn’t it?”
“At the moment,” Haynes admitted.
“Yes. Well, you don’t think it a trifle convenient that Mr Haynes here became the only person to escape from Srindar Djem to the only planet where a superadvanced spaceship is secreted and then learns that a duplicitous ex-partner is situated in a region of space where the Halreptors are about to strike and thus be in just the right place at the right time to resolve the issue?” The President asked.
“It wasn’t all that convenient for me,” Haynes thought of his escape.
“You set all this up?” Lyssa asked, frankly amazed.
“Oh you give me far too much credit,” the President’s tone suggested the opposite of his words. “I knew that even Srindar Djem couldn’t hold Mr Haynes, although the manner of his escape did nearly fox us all. Still, we were able to divert the transport where we wanted it to go in time. It
was obvious that, having escaped, his money would be the next target and so getting you all into the area where we suspected the Halreptors would strike was simple enough. After that, it was inevitable that you would all ‘collide’ and the hope was that Mr Haynes’ very highly developed sense of self-preservation would lead him to find a way to destroy the Halreptors. I must say that the outcome you have provided is very much better than any we had expected.”
“I feel violated,” Haynes muttered. “Used and abused.”
“More used to giving than receiving?” Lyssa teased.
“So now what?” Haynes asked the faceless voice. “Back to Srindar Djem?”
“We don’t reward service to the State in such a manner,” the President reproved. “A full Presidential pardon has been issued, in secret of course, and the ship is yours for as long as you can control it.”
“Hey!” the computer complained.
“I suspect that you are not in need of financial remuneration.”
“I think I can get by,” Haynes allowed.
“If you can only ‘get by’ then I think I have sorely misjudged you,” the President commented.
“And the catch is?” was the question that Haynes really wanted answering.
“Only that I may call upon you again sometime, if the need so arises.”
“That doesn’t seem so bad,” Lyssa suggested since Keely was too nearly exploding from civic pride to speak.
“To call me you’ll have to find me,” Haynes pointed out.
“That doesn’t sound too hard,” The President countered. “I’ll just check around the jails.”
There was an audible click as the connection was severed. On the screen, the Presidential yacht’s engines ignited with a glare bright enough to bring the automatic filters into play. The vessel seemed to gather itself for a moment before leaping away with the grace of a gazelle, which was pretty impressive for something that looked more like the universe’s biggest beached whale.
“Ah,” Lyssa sighed, “I think I’m in love.”
“Really?” Haynes was surprised that she would admit to it so readily.
“With a ship like that? Are you kidding me?”
“Ah, I see,” he gathered himself quickly.
“I’ll try not to take offence at that,” the computer said archly. Haynes had the distinct impression that it was covering for him.
To Infinity Page 20
