by Bethany-Kris
Lucian froze. He should be the one to end that woman after all she did to him. “What? If … Why not me?”
Antony tipped his chin downwards. “She’s a woman, and while I know she’s done you incredibly wrong, son, she is still your mother’s sister. Can you look Cecelia in the eye tomorrow after you’ve killed her blood? I did once, but it wasn’t easy. Despite how your mother despised her father, she was still his daughter. I spent years at her mercy apologizing for that and rightfully so, as the selfish need for me to feel retribution only left her in pain. Could you do the same?”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“And you’re a much better man than me,” Antony said, smiling sadly. “So I’ll answer what you deflected. No, you couldn’t. Go find your sweetheart, Lucian, and remember to sleep without worry. You’ve waited so long for her already. Why wait more?”
• • •
“What are you doing?”
The raspy, hoarse voice coming from only feet behind Jordyn made her jump. She nearly fell off the stool she was using to pull the shoe boxes down from the walk-in closet top shelf. Jordyn eyed Lucian from the side, trying to decide if she wanted to kick him from her spot for scaring her, or jump off the stool and kiss him. The terribly raw looking marks around his throat had tears prickling at the backs of her eyes, but she refused to cry.
“You sound awful.”
“I feel awful,” Lucian muttered, shooting a look up at the ceiling. “Cecelia keeps following me around and trying to make me drink tea. I hate tea.”
“It might help,” Jordyn suggested.
“Yeah, and so will the pills I just choked back. I’m not drinking tea.”
Jordyn huffed, already annoyed at his stubbornness. “Did you go to the hospital?”
“I refused medical treatment. I’m fine.”
“You sound like it,” she replied sarcastically. “Sound like a smoker edging on thirty years and a two pack a day habit. You should drink the tea, Lucian.”
Lucian stared at her, totally unaffected. “Is this your way of being angry with me? Badger the fuck out of me until I grovel?”
Finally, Jordyn stepped off the stool. “Why would I be angry with you?”
“Well, aside from nearly getting myself killed, you had to stand there and watch it. I don’t imagine that was particularly fun, Jordyn.”
“It wasn’t.”
Boy, was that an understatement.
“But you’re here, so that’s what matters to me,” Jordyn added with a small smile. “How did it go with the detectives?”
“Terribly. I can almost bet my life I’ll have a pair of new best friends following me around in an unmarked car for months. Bastards.” Lucian nodded at the shoe boxes Jordyn was digging through before he came into the bedroom. “What were you doing?”
“Looking for dress shoes to match your suit.”
“Why?”
“Church tomorrow. You can’t wear what you did tonight, and your shoes have blood all over them. I was looking for another pair.”
“Doesn’t matter. They took my shoes and tux as evidence anyway.” Lucian chuckled, rubbing at his forehead. “Besides, we don’t have to go to church tomorrow.”
“Yes, we do. I have clothes I brought over while I was staying here on and off. You have stuff here to wear. I don’t see why not.”
“Because I have no interest in waking up early and going to that place.”
Jordyn’s hands met her hips. “I do, and we’re going.”
Lucian sighed, the sound almost painful. If she wanted to go to church, they would go. “Fine. Don’t bother looking through those boxes anymore tonight; I wear the same size as my father. Can we go to bed?”
“No,” Jordyn replied softly.
“Why? I’m tired, bella mia. I want you, and a bed. That’s all.”
Jordyn understood that, but she could see there was tension tightening his broad shoulders. It was a clear sign he wouldn’t actually sleep at all, but instead, sit and stew over all the things on his mind.
“Talk to me, Lucian.”
Lucian frowned, not meeting her gaze. “I don’t have anything to say right now.”
“Don’t you?”
“Do you know?” Lucian asked back.
“I kind of put some of it together,” Jordyn admitted. “Antony’s phone calls after he made Cecelia leave the office helped, too. Then, he questioned me up and down about every conversation I ever had with Kate. I think it’s kind of obvious.”
“But do you know why?”
Jordyn shook her head. “No, but I’d like to.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Lucian said hoarsely. “I don’t want you thinking my choices regarding us are tied up in that woman, or anything else from my past.”
It was just another confusing thing to add to the pile of vagueness Jordyn was getting tired of.
“That might help if it made sense,” Jordyn responded drily.
Lucian sucked in a harsh breath, meeting her stare head on. “Do you know what went through my mind in that elevator?”
Jordyn couldn’t hide her flinch. “Lucian …”
“That my life wasn’t finished, and there were things I hadn’t done yet I wanted to. Things I hadn’t considered before. I was … I don’t know … twenty seconds off from being choked unconscious and all I could think about for those few moments was that I wanted to marry you.”
Jordyn stepped backwards at that admission, stumbling into the stool. “What?”
“Not tonight. That’s not a proposal. When I do ask you that, I’ll have a ring and I won’t sound like I just swallowed a fucking wasp. But eventually, sometime, I want that with you. Maybe I’ll ask in a week, or maybe it’ll be a couple months. Maybe it’ll be a year. I don’t know, I just knew I would. And children,” he stated like it was an afterthought. “Those, too. With you, I mean.”
Jordyn felt her brow rise on its own accord. “That’s what you thought about?”
Marriage and babies. Huh.
“I’m pretty straightforward with things I need and want. You’re one of them. It seems like the next best logical step to cement my decisions. That’s how I look at it, anyway.”
Marriage …
And babies.
Jordyn blinked at the man across from her. “With me?”
“Does that scare you?” Lucian asked. “Because I thought I made it clear how completely infatuated and in love with you I am. If I haven’t, I certainly hope this clears it up.”
“No, I’m aware.”
So much more than aware, really.
“Good. Do you not want me to ask … you know, eventually?”
Jordyn’s lungs froze, painfully so. “I think that should just happen when it happens, and you don’t need my opinion on it until you’re ready to ask.”
Lucian nodded, his expression pensive. “I agree with that.”
“I still don’t understand what this has to do with Kate.”
“Remember, I wanted this with you before, okay?”
“Okay,” Jordyn echoed.
“I had to be married or have produced one child before I turned thirty for my children to be able to receive the money my biological father left for his possible future grandchildren in trust. If I didn’t, Kate would receive the money instead.”
Well, Jordyn understood why he wanted her to know his thoughts in the elevator before this, now.
“You’ve known this how long?”
Lucian glanced at his watch. “About twenty minutes. It’s still sinking in, I think. I’m not usually this slow on the ball.”
“You didn’t know at all before?” she pressed.
“No. That was … uh, one of his requests, I guess. That I make my choices for love and marriage because it was what I wanted to do, not what others wanted for me. Odd, isn’t it?”
Jordyn snorted low. “Is odd how you really feel about it?”
“No,” Lucian said again. “I’m incredibly sad I can’t thank him for cari
ng about children who don’t even exist yet, and that I hadn’t even thought about until I fell in love with you. That’s kind of how I feel. And angry at Kate, but she’s like she always was … unimportant. To this, anyway.”
Jordyn glanced past him to the bed. She was beginning to think like Lucian. Really, the conversation was better suited for another day when things weren’t so … raw. “Sleep sounds nice right now.”
“It does,” Lucian agreed faintly. “It’s been a long day.”
Jordyn waited while Lucian left the sanctuary of the bedroom to shower. By the time he was back, she had herbal tea sweetened with honey waiting from his mother, and he didn’t argue before downing the hot liquid, disgust twisting his mouth into a grimace.
Lucian sat at the end of the bed, his lower half wrapped in a towel while Jordyn pulled off her clothes and searched for one of his old T-shirts to wear to bed. She couldn’t help but notice how silent and somber he seemed staring at the wall, like he was somewhere else completely. It wasn’t as if she blamed him. The information he learned tonight must have been a lot to take in, not to mention the choices that came along with it all.
Beyond that, there was also Kate and what she’d done to him. Sure, the woman was vile. She caused Lucian more than enough pain and heartache over the years, but it was easy to understand how people could mark that down to jealousy and anger. Who really would have thought she could have gone this far?
It was kind of devastating.
Jordyn had a sneaking suspicion they wouldn’t have to worry about Kate anymore after tonight. She’d heard the call Antony made about that, too. She didn’t even care. The woman had hurt the one person Jordyn loved in the entire world over and over again. She tried her hardest to beat Lucian down with words and shame for years simply because he was a physical reminder of a man who never loved her. When that didn’t work, she turned to something with a little more viciousness, even if she would have gained from it. What Kate would get for her choices was exactly what she deserved as far as Jordyn was concerned.
Pulling a grey T-shirt over her head, Jordyn turned to Lucian. “You okay?”
“I don’t know where I am right now,” Lucian said quietly, his voice starting to clear of some of the hoarseness.
Stuck in his head, likely.
“Where do you want to be?” Jordyn asked, moving to stand between his legs.
Lucian chuckled, wincing. “Here with you.”
Jordyn smiled at his answer. “Want me to bring to you back?”
“More than anything.”
That was all the encouragement Jordyn needed. She wasted no time tugging open Lucian’s towel before climbing into his lap, straddling him. Tender kisses dotted down to his forehead, cheeks, and jaw as his hands fisted into the shirt she wore, drawing her closer. His body reacted to her proximity and touches like it always did, fast and sure. Between her thighs, his cock pressed between her folds, smearing her arousal along his shaft.
It wasn’t long before Jordyn was sinking down Lucian’s length, a soft sigh falling into the quiet room. Lucian might have been tired, but his hands on her hips pulled her into the gentle rhythm he wanted while his face rested to her neck.
Over and over they loved with gentle words and soft touches. Until sweat slicked their skin and bliss tingled through her mind. He finally came back down with her name in his mouth, eyes wide open, and his heart in her hands.
Right where it belonged.
Epilogue
Two months later …
The seating arrangement in church had changed, now. Lucian was a little further down from his mother and father. Jordyn always sat to his left in the pew, her hand resting on his thigh to keeping him awake and aware.
Goddamn it, she was worse than his mother when it came to his attention on Sunday mornings.
Not that he was complaining …
Jordyn entered Lucian’s life at this very place, and it never failed to astound him how easily and fast his world had changed from that point on. She was a tornado, and he willingly let her pick him up and pull him straight into her path.
He wouldn’t call it destructive, though.
Since Kate’s death, there had been no more attempts on Lucian’s life. It seemed things were finally settling. Jordyn didn’t have to ask the what ifs. Lucian didn’t feel the need to remind her they were always going to be there, just in different ways.
Most times, things were easy between them. Natural, like breathing and living. Other times, it was a little more difficult.
After all, you couldn’t touch something as bright and beautiful as the sun and expect not to get burned.
Today was one of those days, Lucian knew.
While Jordyn sat at his side, her hand on his thigh supportively as it always was, there was tension and anger between the couple. Jordyn had said little to nothing to him over the last three days. Lucian found both the couch and the guest bedroom were particularly uncomfortable. Basically, anything but his bed and Jordyn was fucking uncomfortable. They hadn’t even gone to his parents’ home the night before like they usually would because the discontent between them was so clear, no one else needed to be brought into it.
It was the silent kind of fight, which frankly, only made it worse.
Lucian knew he did wrong. He just didn’t like to admit that he did.
Jordyn’s silence probably bothered and hurt him the most, though.
Sighing, Lucian stood for the final blessing and prayer by Father Peter. Church seemed to be especially long today, even if it did help to have Jordyn there with him. He was glad to see it end.
As the parishioners began to clear out, Lucian heard his mother ask Jordyn, “Are you two coming to dinner?”
The question was loaded with a hell of a lot more than just that hidden below the surface. It was more like Cecelia was picking up on the tension as Lucian’s back was turned, as was Jordyn’s. Apparently even facing each other was too frustrating.
“We should be,” Jordyn replied. “Right, Lucian?”
Lucian’s back straightened at her blatant regard of him. It was the first words she’d spoken directly to him all morning. “Sure, whatever.”
Gio’s guilty gaze met his older brother’s, and the younger man shrugged, almost in an apologetic way. Lucian rolled his eyes and shook his head in a silent acceptance. It wasn’t Gio’s fault they were fighting, not really.
Lucian was twenty-eight and an adult. He knew better than to worry Jordyn half to death by not coming home, and when he did, he probably shouldn’t have been hung-over as shit and still slurring his words. Gio might have been a bad influence with a taste for Molly and good liquor, but Lucian had the ability to say no.
No women were involved, at least not for Lucian. Gio couldn’t quite say the same, which was about the time Lucian left his younger brother to his private party and somehow made his way home.
Jordyn made it clear she didn’t give a flying crap. It was his behaviour and actions that were awful.
Yeah, he screwed up.
Congratulations to him. Every man gets to be a jackass at least once. Right? Apparently not.
A strong hand landed to Lucian’s back, and he recognized it as his father’s before he even needed to turn and see. “Son?”
“Hmm?” Lucian asked, picking up his Ray Ban sunglasses from the pew.
“Confession is a good place to start. It is Sunday, after all.”
Lucian wanted to laugh, he really did. The last time he tried to go to confession, he ended up stumbling out of the church like a bumbling idiot. Besides, he was pretty sure confession was not going to make Jordyn quit the silent treatment, or let him off without groveling.
He didn’t get the chance to say anything to his father, because Jordyn was giving Lucian that damned look again. The one that said his hell wasn’t over.
“I think that’d be a good idea,” Jordyn said, slipping past Lucian to gain access to the aisle. “I’ll be waiting in the car.”
Anton
y chuckled deeply. “I like that one, Lucian. You picked your better half well.”
Great.
• • •
“Are you going to talk to me, now?” Lucian asked, tossing his suit jacket and car keys to the couch. “Or are we going to keep walking on eggshells for who knows how long?”
The car ride back to the condo was unpleasant. Just like the drive to the church.
Lucian couldn’t handle this anymore. He was dying inside.
Jordyn tossed his a look over her shoulder as she pulled the heels off and set them in the corner.
“I’m sorry, bella mia,” Lucian said, practically groaning. “I get it. I fucked up. How many more times do you want me to say it? Is this a pride thing or something? Just tell me what I’m missing here.”
“Pride? No. It’s a respect thing.” Jordyn huffed, crossing her arms and turning to meet his stare. “You scared the hell out of me. If you want to party, go party, Lucian. If you want to drink yourself stupid, feel free. I won’t be cleaning up your vomit, or lifting your head from the toilet seat, though. I dealt with that shit enough from my mother. You’re old enough to know better, anyway, and I’m not your keeper.”
Lucian nodded, agreeing. “You’re right. And I’m sorry.”
“Good, I’m glad we’ve got that straightened out. But let’s get some other things clear, too.”
“Huh?”
Jordyn waved at him, almost dismissively. “My job with your father isn’t reliant on this relationship. My friendship with your family doesn’t depend on us being together. I didn’t need a man before you to take care of me, so I won’t need one after you. Do you understand that?”
After him?
What the hell?
“I might love you, Lucian, but I will not be your doll. Not something pretty for you take out and play with when it’s suitable for you to do so. I won’t sit at home while you wander around doing whatever the fuck it is you want to do, calling me whenever it feels convenient to call and let me know, well, you won’t be home tonight.”
